Romeo and Juliet, a drarry ve...
By jschulte
Welcome to post-war England. Voldemort's reign is over, but his attacks have brought the wizarding world out... More
Welcome to post-war England. Voldemort's reign is over, but his attacks have brought the wizarding world out... More
SCENE I. London. A public bridge.
Enter Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, muggle police, armed with handguns
CRABBE
Goyle, o' my word, these wizards... we're standing guard watching them fix their own fucking messes.
GOYLE
No, not messes... a massacre. Twenty civilians died on that bridge. If not for the bloody cameras and eyewitnesses... these witch-bastards might have gone on hiding in the dark.
CRABBE
Now we know better. They've been lurking in the shadows... probably behind every war or diaster ever. We'll draw on them if they come near us... blasphemers. The book says what we must do.
GOYLE
Ay, while we live, we must put them in their place.
CRABBE
I'll strike quickly, before they cast a spell on us. Thank Merlin Minister Malfoy gave us our weapons back. He hates these limey bastards, too.
GOYLE
But be wary, if thou art not quick... we'll only have a few shots. We might get the magic dampener up, but it doesn't always work
CRABBE
A witch will make me move quicker.
GOYLE
If thou art moved, thou is running away. You fear them.
CRABBE
A witch shall move me to stand, take her wand and throw her against a wall
GOYLE
That shows that you brag; for the weakest goes at a woman.
CRABBE
True; by their women, witches-all, think them better than us,
therefore I will kill the wizards, and strip witches of their wands
and thrust them into to the wall a few times. Give me a chance for vengeance.
GOYLE
No, this war is between our boss, Minister Lucius Malfoy and theirs, Auror James Potter and us their men.
CRABBE
'Tis all one, I'll not wait for leave to do so. When they approach,
I will tempt them to fight, I will be cruel with their
witches, and then shoot off their heads. Then they will know.
GOYLE
The heads of the witches?
CRABBE
Ay, the heads of the witches, or their maidenheads;
I'll take what I can.
GOYLE
They take it, in sense that they'll feel it.
CRABBE
Me, they shall feel when they see me: and
'tis known, I am a pretty piece of flesh.
GOYLE
Yeah, sure... very pretty. Dolt.
You haven't been with anyone. But draw thy weapon! Here comes
two wizards! Aurors by the look of them.
CRABBE
My fiery weapon is out. Fire, I will back thee.
GOYLE
So you can turn thy back and run?
CRABBE
Fear me not.
GOYLE
No, I fear thee will!
CRABBE
Let us get the law of our side; let them begin the quarrel.
GOYLE
I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as it is.
CRABBE
Nay, as we dare. I will flip them off;
which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.
Enter SEAMUS and DEAN
SEAMUS
Did you flip us off?
CRABBE
I did move my fingers, sir.
SEAMUS
Did you flip us off, muggle?
CRABBE
[Aside to GOYLE] Is the law of our side, if I say yes?
GOYLE
No. Prince Kingsley decreed that no side can taunt the other into fighting.
CRABBE
No, sir, I did not at you, wizard, but I did flip off someone, sir.
GOYLE
Do you want to fight, wizard?
SEAMUS
Quarrel? No, muggle. We don't want to do that. We are here to repair the bridge.
CRABBE
How about the lives that were lost on it? If you ready to fight, wizard, I am for you: I serve a master as good a man as you work for.
SEAMUS
No he's better. James Potter lead the Aurors against Voldemort... the one who actually did this. His son Harry, actually took down the evil, soulless bastard! We lost so many more than you Muggle. Don't you dare slander the Potters!
CRABBE
Well, sir... that is what you claim. But my boss is....
GOYLE
Say he's 'better:' here comes the captain of the guards and she'll not suffer their presence.
CRABBE
Yes, our boss is better, sir.
SEAMUS
You lie!
CRABBE
Come on you pansies! Draw your wand, if you have the courage! Goyle, remember thy magic disruptor!
They fight. Drawing their wands and pistols.
Enter RON
RON
Stop, fools! Put down your weapons! You know not what you do!
Pushes their wands down and forces the muggle police to lower theirs
Enter BELLATRIX
BELLATRIX
What, are you in charge these ball-less weaklings?
Turn thee, wizard, look upon thy death.
RON
I do but keep the peace: put up thy pistol,
And help me separate these men with me.
BELLATRIX
Peace? I hate the word,
As I hate to hell all wizards, and thee:
Have at thee, bastard!
They fight, sending spells and gunfire.