Pansy, Part 4

                                        

                                              
Pansy, Part 4
                              
Pansy was in her own bed, spread out on her purple satin sheets in her skimpy pajamas. Sleep wouldn't come. Luckily, she didn't room with anyone else, but her mind wasn't letting her sleep. She remembered acutely and accurately what happened and how big of a sappy fool she had been. Pansy still didn't understand how she could have lost all sense of decorum. That Anti-Inhibitions Potion was one evilly, brilliant concoction. Half of her wanted to blame Finnegan for this mess, but the other half knew she was the one driving everyone to take it.
                              
Well, be careful what you wish for.
                              
Her desire to help Draco made her tongue loosen and, now, those do-gooder Gryffindors had power over her. Heck, some of them had to have heard her declaration of love to Granger, who had lapped it all up. She did forgive her, at least when she was under the potion's effect. She hadn't seen her since this morning. What a mess. She wasn't avoiding Granger... just that she didn't want to deal with her already. Luckily, they had one more day before class started, so she could get her emotions in check. It was on Granger to accept her or not.
                              
The Gryffindor had been surprisingly quiet under the potion, letting her do the confessing. Of course, Granger really didn't need to unburden her soul, other than that she liked coochie more than a hard cock. Granger was always one who said what she wanted and when she wanted... or rather, when it was advantageous. Pansy was always impressed with her savvy retorts and burns, as well as her traps. She was cunning and Pansy now knew how much she had enjoyed Granger's cleverness. That was something any Slytherin could love and desire.
                              
But Granger hadn't said a word to her since this morning. They even briefly met eyes in the common room when Pansy had come back from dinner with a plate for her grieving best friend (not that the bastard had even bothered to lower the wards or answer the door). She had left it outside his door. Tomorrow was a better day to fight battles... on all fronts. Draco needed time and she had to decide what to say to Granger. She wasn't going to hide like Draco. But what to say?
                              
She had no one to talk to, now. Blaise was too busy fondling his boyfriend and Daphne had so obviously not even spared her a glance. She wasn't going to crawl back to her. She had pride. No, she was very much on her own. She even had considered that her parents would soon be disowning her the moment they caught wind of this. Confidentiality clauses had some workarounds, and it just took asking the right questions and non-verbal communication.
                              
But she was done with them. They... her whole family... had nearly lost everything betting on the lunatic. Maybe she just needed to bet on something else? Love? Freedom? In her parents' world, she was destined to marry a pureblood wizard. A son of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. But there were few and far between. So many lines had ended, either childless or before their heirs could produce. She wasn't sure it was worth the effort to keep the pureblood line going. The Sacred Twenty-Eight were now the Sacred Twenty-Something.
                              
"We don't deserve to carry on the line," she told herself.
                              
It was more than that. She didn't want any child of hers to be born and breed like a show hippogriff. She hated being a trophy for her parents to present to her pedigreed husband with a prestigious dowry for taking her off their hands. Cunts. She couldn't do that to her own child. Her parents pressing in on her decision and cutting backhand deals without her consent. Maybe it was time to say f them all and go at it alone. She had said as much to Granger last night.
                              
That Anti-Inhibitions loosen her tongue and mind in more than one thing. Forsaking her family for a woman, was one thing, but a pure muggleborn would end any chance of reconciliation. Maybe it was a good thing? To shred herself of all those who held her back, punished her for who she is and taught her to hate muggleborns for no damn reason.
                              
This summer... she really re-evaluated her life. Her parents had paid through the nose to stay out of prison. Their name was in the weeds and, still, they carried on about how much better purebloods are and how much they wished the Dark Lord had won. Really? She hated her asshole parents before the war, but how could they not see all the damage the Death Eaters had wrought and still give toasts to the Dark Lord? They still hobnobbed with people like Theo's parents (who had already disinherited their son). Fucking pricks.
                              
She didn't care one fucking lick about seeing those fucking idiots, again. She didn't care if Granger took her or not. She was not going back. Her family was the past. Stuck in their outdated and prejudiced lifestyle. Her path was the future. She had already said her goodbyes. Now it was time to make new friends.
                              
Knock, knock. 
                              
 She turned her head and debated answering, for it could only be one person, but they knocked, again. She got up and opened the door to Hermione Granger.
                              
"I think we need to talk."