The bad girl and the dork

By alpacapoo

963K 26.2K 10.3K

I'm Jill and these are five random facts about me 1. A day spent with Nutella is a day well spent. 2. My best... More

The bad girl and the dork
Is it possible to OD on cookies?
Nutella is the answer to all your food related problems
Always have a secret food stash at various places
I call it hobo chique
I was turning on her inner lesbian
I'm the picture of sophistication
I've heard people taste like chicken
It was as if Barbie had puked in her locker
Brainfarts everywhere
She looked like a My Little Pony
I know you've been having buttproblems
I swear her ovaries just exploded
Emergency, my ass
He was such a pretty mangirl
Only two shots away from pink elephants
I'd rather lick a used tampon
He just went apeshit on me
There's my queen
Really Old Yogurt Grows Bad In Vanilla
Don't flash your underwear on the first date
I didn't know you were gonna lick the guy
Killed us with a spoon
The rest could suck my thumb
A duck sniffing a dog's hiney
We were having a Full House moment
He was writing some kinky fanfic about polar bears
I love you because you say things like fuckbuckets
I can't be in the presence of candy haters
Get your biceps out of my face
Were you guys sniffing glue earlier?
He was talking about toe fungus
Couldn't you have gotten a bloody moose
Epilogue: cover it up with Oprah's face
Bonus: I practically survived on coffee and M&Ms
Bonus: Code's crazy calamities
Bonus: I was Burger King desperate
Bonus: this is not a bonus
Xmas bonus: decided to drop the Jill Bomb
Anniversary bonus: Road trip
Bonus: the rock identified as a turtle

Jake: The walking cliche

12.8K 303 20
By alpacapoo

Hey!

I'm sorry if you were hoping this was a secret chapter.

I just wanted to tell you that Jake's 온라인카지노게임 is up! It's called The walking cliche.

Give it a read and show it some love 'cause we all know Jake needs lots of that ;)

Here's the blurb thingy

The walking cliche

Leather jacket? Check

Motorcycle? Check

Bad boy? Check

Signature smirk? Check

I'm a fucking cliche but chicks seem to like it. They think they can save me.
As long as I get laid, I'll let them try.

Hi, I'm Jake and you're in for a hell of a ride.

-

Can't get enough of bad girls?

Sugar, Spice and Anything But Nice

Four different girls. Four different backgrounds. Four different crimes. One common goal; revenge.

When Sage, Hope, Alexis and Maddison get caught, they get assigned to a mandatory support group for troubled teens. Needless to say they're anything but happy with it. While the counselor tries to encourage them to make the right decisions in their lives by working on their feelings, they decide to try a different angle; revenge.

Remember, payback's a bitch and so are they.

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