Xmas bonus: decided to drop the Jill Bomb

                                        

                                              

"Deck your balls with boughs of holly fa la la la la," I sang as I shoved an ornament in the fresh green and totally real plastic Christmas tree.
                              
"Nice rendition," my mom said while appearing suddenly out of nowhere. I swear I thought I had the house to myself. Did she teleport here? Or maybe she took an hour-long dump. It was probably the latter.
                              
"Yes, thank you. You know how passionate I am about Christmas songs," I replied with a big fake smile that hurt my cheeks. "We have Jingle Balls, All I want for Christmas is poo and now my new rendition of Deck the balls. It's a lovely CD for your loved ones and a perfect gift for underneath your tree."
                              
"Right... well it's lovely that you're in a good mood," my mom said hesitantly. Why she did that? No idea. She wasn't baking anything and as long as that was the case, I knew it was fine.
                              
"I'm not gonna be here to celebrate Christmas with you."
                              
Apparently, it wasn't fine.
                              
"What? How? But... What?" I stammered elegantly.
                              
"I'm going to London with Hugh this Christmas. I figured you were old enough to-"
                              
"Old enough to what? Spend Christmas alone? I don't even have my eight cats to celebrate it with. I'm not lonely enough to be a crazy cat lady. Isn't it a parent's obligation to spend Christmas with their offspring? Oh my god! And what about the presents? Did you forget about the presents, mom?! I'll just open them alone. All by myself with some sad violin music in the background," I said dramatically. I had to say, I was quite impressed with the level of drama that came out of my mouth so fluently. As if I'd been waiting an entire month to unleash the drama queen inside of me. Boy, did it feel good to get that out.
                              
I briefly contemplated to do a fake faint while I rested the back of my hand on my forehead but figured that might be pushing it.
                              
"I should've done this while you were in a bad mood," my mom mumbled. To be fair, she was right. I would've been like 'okay' and that would've been it. She really should've known better.
                              
"Okay, let's talk business then," I said eerily, "you have to bring me back a gift from London. I'd say a hot British guy but I don't think Chase would let me keep him."
                              
"That's your only condition? Deal!" My mom cheered and gave me a firm handshake. I didn't know her handshake was that firm. It exuded confidence. Not bad at all.
                              
"Honey, if you don't have any plans, you're always welcome to join us," she offered while breaking me from my handshake appraisal.
                              
"There's nothing more I'd want than spending Christmas with a couple of lovebirds. Yeah, no. Do your thing," I said with a supporting smile. 

                              
Don't get me wrong, I was fucking jealous she was gonna go to London but I am just the most perfect daughter in the world. You can ask anyone.
                              
I'm kidding, don't ask anyone. Even my parents would disagree.
                              
Although, I couldn't spend it with my dad either. He always made plans with Kate's family. New Year's was the day I had with my dad. 

                              
Spending it with Chase's family seemed... awkward. I mean, inviting myself? He wouldn't mind. Code definitely wouldn't mind. In fact, he'd probably steal me so we could sneak out and play videogames. Still, it wasn't my place to invite myself to a Christmas party with a family that wasn't even mine. I only owned two and a half people in that family; Chase, because he was my boyfriend and obviously I owned his ass, Code, because he was my best friend and I had too much shit about him as leverage and I owned Bus a little bit because I'd learned him some commands. That definitely created a bond.