The bad girl and the dork

5 years later

I hissed when the needle touched my ribs.

"Did I forget to mention getting a tattoo on your ribs hurt?" Gwen asked innocently.

Before you start thinking how cool I am for getting a tattoo underneath my left boob, let me explain to you what it is.

A chemical structure.

Yep.

I decided to match Chase's tattoo by getting a chemical structure of serotonin. I'm a disgrace to my kind.

At least it was free?

After high school Gwen went to art school and most artsy people end up working at McDonalds after they graduate. Gwen didn't. I introduced her to Brad and now she's working at his tattoo parlor.

As a result she was sporting a sleeve. My favorite tattoo on the sleeve was a mermaid that looked like me. I told her I would've preferred an 'I love Jill' tramp stamp but she didn't listen.

Oh and hear this. Gwen's hair is blonde.

Pause for effect.

It's her natural hair color, who would've known, right? Life's full of surprises.

"Mean." I replied.

"Whatever. When's your housewarming party?" Gwen asked casually as if she wasn't torturing me with needles.

After my graduation, which was today, Chase and I were moving in together. We got a little apartment.

"Next weekend probably. We could make it into a pool party." I answered.

"You guys have a pool?" Gwen gasped. I really shouldn't surprise her like that when she's hurting me. What if she slipped?

"We have the most awesome kiddie pool in our living room. Van loves swimming in it." I smiled at the memory. Van had jumped in and he seemed like the happiest creature ever.

"Aw, I love Van. Are you even allowed to have pets in your apartment?" Gwen asked.

"Who cares?" I replied. Van was part of the family.

Get your hankies people.

Bus died a few years ago. He had been an old dog but it was still very sad. Chase had a hard time with it since he had played most with the dog.

So last year for his birthday I got him a little puppy and we named him Van. Well, we named him Minivan but now he's a little bigger so we changed it to Van.

Talking about my dorky boyfriend, Chase is currently getting his PhD at Harvard and he's working with Hugh. You know, the 'hot' british guy my mom's dating? He still makes her happy and as long as it stays that way his balls will remain intact.

"I hope you're not wearing anything tight for your graduation 'cause it might hurt a little." Gwen warned me. Great, she said that now.

After high school I decided to become an opera singer. My dream is to give singing lessons to rich kids and when I'm sick of that I'll become a housewife with three kids.

If you still haven't figured out I'm joking then maybe you should go see a doctor.

Do you really wanna know though? It's kinda boring.

So I got my bachelor's degree at a local college in Boston and now I'm finishing my master's at Harvard. I decided to major in Criminal psychology with a minor in neurology. So basically I found something that had both Law and Biology. Aren't I the perfect fucking match between my parents?

Last year, Hugh was supposed to give my class a lecture and Chase got to observe. Instead of listening to Hugh I was observing Chase. After fifteen minutes Hugh got a phone call and needed to leave so Chase had to continue with the lecture.

I almost ate my pen. The poor guy wasn't prepared for that. The girl next to me, Sierra, whispered something like 'damn he could teach me any day' which made me snort. I told her that Chase was my boyfriend. She apologised for eyefucking him. I became friends with Sierra that day.

After this I'm going for a PhD. Yep, Jill became a dork. Let's not talk about the times I almost got kicked out of school. I'm gonna study brains of psychopaths so it's still creepy and cool, right? Right? I guess not.

But first, summer. And summer means roadtrip! Every summer my friends from high school and I go on a road trip. Just us, a crappy car and loads of booze. Good times.

It's the only time we can all be together. I'd love to say I'm still just as close to them as I was five years ago but that would be a lie.

I still see Gwen quite often and Code obviously, he's pretty much my brother so I guess I'm stuck with him.

A few years ago Code dated Kate. Yep, it was pretty awkward for all of us. It was just weird, like incest. Matt and Kate broke up when they both decided to go to different schools, no fairy tale ending for those two.

Anyway, Kate started hanging out more with me and she got to know Code and then, you know, things happened. Every time I saw them together I had to suppress a shudder. They broke up after a few months. They both agreed it didn't feel right.

I could've told them that before they even started their freakshow.

Anyway, no harm done, they're still friends. Kind of. They stayed in an awkward post-break up phase before they got back to normal.

I don't really see Snake anymore besides our annual roadtrip. He's chef at my parents' restaurant. By my parents, I mean Chase's parents, but let's face it, they're too awesome not to claim them as parents.

So, that's it, right?

Nope. I forgot about Jake.

Jake became a gigolo. He figured screwing women was his true talent and decided to make it into his job.

Okay, you gotta admit that it sounds so Jake.

Unfortunately, reality isn't that glamorous. He wanted to be a vet but after his first year of college he decided to go in a different direction. Being a vet is really tough and knowing Jake he probably didn't study enough. So he became a real estate agent.

I wonder how many times he's fucked in the houses he had to sell.

"Done! Wanna see?" Gwen interrupted my thoughts.

"Only if it's red and bloody." I told her. If she did something horrible to my body I wanted her to cover it up with Oprah's face.

I went to the mirror and looked at my first tattoo. It wasn't a bloody moose, that's for sure. I liked it though. It was simple. I'd get a skull with worms in its eye sockets later. You know, to compensate.

"Cool. Thanks Gwen. So, can I do you now?" I facepalmed when I realised how wrong that sentence sounded.

Gwen smirked. "You can do me anytime." Then her demeanor changed. "But you can't draw for shit and I don't want a crappy skeleton that looks like a tree on my body."

Couldn't argue with that.

"I guess I should go graduate now." I shrugged. No big deal. It's not like I needed to give a speech or anything.

Oh wait. I did.

"But first I need food." I added. Old habits die hard I guess.

"Graduate. You're such a dork." Gwen teased.

"I'm definitely gonna perform a satanic ritual afterwards." I deadpanned.

"You better." Gwen snorted.

I said goodbye to Gwen and Brad and then went home. I wonder why Brad and Gwen don't go out already. They have this friends with benefits thing going on but I feel like there's something more there. Gwen told me they didn't want to complicate things because they work together.

Apparently being fuckbuddies isn't complicated.

"Hey, did you find anything?" Chase asked when I got home. I may have told him a little white lie. He believed I went shopping instead of getting a tattoo.

I grunted a little when he hugged me. I guess my cover was blown a little quicker than I'd anticipated. Stupid low pain tolerance.

My hand automatically went to my ribs.

"Jill, what's wrong?" Chase asked. The concern was evident in his eyes.

I got a sense of déjà vu from years ago, when Tobin had hit me with his car and I'd bruised my ribs. Only this time, the context was a little different.

I hadn't heard from Tobin ever since. It was weird though. Everything stopped. The stalking, the phone calls, the threats. It was like Tobin had vanished into thin air and for a second I had actually believed that he was gone. At one point I got worried about him but I got over it pretty fast.

Because, you know, he fucking hit me with his car! Who even does that? You can't just run people over when you don't get your way. Jeez. Okay, let's not go there again. I'm totally over it. Totally. Completely. That duckcaresser.

Really, Jill? Duckcaresser? That's the best thing you could come up with?

Anyway, I guess sometimes people just disappear from your life all of a sudden.

Oh and Jacob's in jail. Haha, Jacob, haha. Don't drop the soap, buddy.

"Nothing. I need to show you something." I grinned like a little kid.

I started to lift my shirt.

"Jill, I don't think we have time for that." Chase said.

I snorted. The fool thought he was getting laid.

"Get your mind out of the gutter you filthy swine." I teased.

Chase raised his hands in surrender. "Alright." I could tell he was a little embarrassed.

I lifted my shirt again and this time all the way up to the tattoo.

"Are you hurt?" Chase gasped. He came closer.

I was confused for a second until I realised Gwen had put some bandage on the tattoo so it could heal better.

"Yep. Someone stabbed me multiple times in the heart. With a needle. It was Gwen. Gwen stabbed me. Chase are you gonna stand there like a dimwit? Figure it out!" I shook his shoulders. I swear he was getting slower each year.

"You got a tattoo? Just now?" Chase finally managed to say.

Ding ding ding. We have a winner.

"Is it a bloody moose?" Chase asked with a lopsided grin. I guess we both hadn't forgot about that day.

"Damn, you guessed it." I pouted.

"Just show me, smartass." Chase said and took my shirt off. Well he was eager. If he thought he was gonna get laid after that, he'd be disappointed.

I carefully ripped the bandage off and slowly looked up to see Chase's reaction.

See this is what I had expected to happen. Chase would look up to me with love in his eyes and say something mushy about how much he loved me and then we would make out a little bit.

That wasn't what happened.

He blinked a few times, since you know, he's gotten slow.

Then he burst out in laughter.

He fucking laughed!

 "You gave me so much crap about my ink! You colored it, you drew faces. Oh and remember when I got drunk and you drew the same tattoo on my forehead and told me it had happened again!" Chase started to rant. In an amused way though, it's amazing how much of my crap he could handle.

Needless to say I'd used his tattoo as a prank. Once or twice. Or fifty.

"... And now you've done the same thing. Revenge will be mine!" Chase did an evil laugh.

An evil laugh.

I may have broken the guy. Can I get a refund?

"Are you almost done? You're starting to sound like The Brain from Pinky and the Brain." I wanted to sound stern but I couldn't keep the grin from my face. He was having way too much fun with this. He'd probably been planning his revenge years ago.

We still pranked each other every once in a while but I might've took it too far when I told him I was pregnant. I'd bought this fake positive pregnancy test. He realised I was joking when I told him we were having triplets and one of them was black.

"I'm done for now. No wait... Okay no, yeah, I'm done." Chase smiled. I nudged him. Once a dork, always a dork.

"Did it hurt?" He asked after his power trip fueled by thoughts of revenge.

"Gwen stabbed a needle in my skin. I think she was making it hurt on purpose."

Chase snorted. "You're such a girl."

I took that as my cue to slap him.

"But seriously, I like it. It suits you." Chase said with a mushy look in his eyes.

"Who knew dork stamps were my thing, right?" I ruined the moment before it could even begin. Pretty proud of that accomplishment.

Chase ignored my attempt to ruin the moment and brought his lips to mine. He knew that would shut me up.

You know how practice makes perfect? Well, after five years of kissing each other, I'd say we'd perfected kissing. It's not the only thing we'd perfected but let's not go there. We didn't have time to go there.

"Shit." I mumbled into the kiss.

"Most people say 'I love you', Jill." Chase said.

"No I was thinking about sex and then I realised we need to get ready. Now." I headed towards the bedroom.

"I'll never get the way your brain works." I heard Chase mutter behind me.

I stripped out of my clothes as fast as a teenage boy about to lose his virginity.

I got my dress on in no time and I already knew I was gonna be the one waiting for Chase to get ready.

"Hey boob." I called him when I noticed some blue near his ear.

"Yes darling?" He said dramatically.

"You look like a smurf wanted to make love to your ear." I snorted.

"Crap. This stuff won't come off." Chase started rubbing his ear violently.

Yesterday we were painting the guestroom and I started doing my paint dance because I finished a wall quicker than Chase.

Yes, inhaling paint fumes makes you do paint dances, don't judge.

Anyway, Chase was being a baby and splashed paint on me. I took revenge. Before we knew it we were both covered in paint.

"Maybe you should help me like you did yesterday." Chase suggested.

So what do you do when you're covered in paint? You fight for your right to shower. We ended up showering at the same time and we helped each other. With various stuff.

"I'd love t-Damn it, Chase. If we do, we really are gonna be late to my graduation." I groaned.

Who knew graduating could be such a cockblock?

"I can be quick." Ah yes Chase, always the one with the creative solutions.

"What every girls wants to hear." I deadpanned.

By the time Chase had showered, I had put my make up on, cleaned the house, fed some homeless children, played with Van and made world peace happen.

"I'm almost done!" Chase yelled from the bathroom.

I sighed.

After a few minutes he appeared and he looked ... exactly the same. Well, his clothes were a little less crappy and the paint was gone.

"You're so high maintenance." I joked.

"What? I didn't do anything." He smirked. My prank senses were tingling but I decided to ignore that. For once, I didn't think being fashionably late was acceptable.

I grabbed my coat and went towards the door to get my purse. Chase was following behind me.

"Wait." Chase said.

I turned around and noticed he was on one knee.

"Jill, will you..." Chase looked me in the eyes.

If that dipshit was gonna ask me what I think he was gonna ask me I'd slap him senseless.

"...wait while I tie my shoelaces?" Chase finished his sentence with a boyish grin on his face.

"Douchecanoe." I sighed in relief.

We had talked about it before and we both didn't really want to get married. Who needs a piece of paper, right?

"You should've seen your face! First your eyes went wide and then you got this 'don't you dare' look on your face. Priceless." Chase chuckled.

So I did what any good person would do.

I tackled him.

"Whoa, chill." Chase told me teasingly. I pretty much tell him to chill on a daily basis. It has gotten better though.

"I won't hesitate to put a dog toy in your mouth." I threatened.

"You kiss that mouth." He shot back.

So I did.

The kiss I mean, not the dog toy. I'd do that later.

Our random make out session on the floor didn't last long. If traffic would be a bitch, we'd definitely be late.

Chase helped me up and didn't let go of my hand.

"Say it!" Chase teased.

"No." I pouted like an annoyed kid.

"Just admit it." Chase poked my cheek.

"Fine. You got me." I hated admitting that he had pranked me.

Chase held me from behind, his hand on the same place as my tattoo. He slowly kissed my neck, causing goosebumps to erupt all over my body.

"I got you." He whispered.