The bad girl and the dork

"What?!" Chase almost yelled.

"I'm gonna have a ch-"

"I heard you the first time. I mean why?" Chase interrupted me. He was freaking out a tiny bit. And by tiny bit I mean he was freaking out a lot. I didn't get why though, what did he think I'd do?

"He obviously wants my attention and now he has it. I'll hear him out." I shrugged.

"I thought you were gonna call the cops or something, not talk to the guy. Jill, he's insane!" Chase was getting irritated. I knew it was just because he was worried about me.

"Please, the cops won't do anything. It's not like we have proof." I bet they got calls about annoying exes pretty much every day. It wouldn't solve anything.

"But just talking to the guy? Are you sure that's a good idea?" Chase seemed to calm down and I figured out why when I saw the bowl of Coco puffs in his hands.

"He won't do anything to me. This sick plan of his is to get me back. I'm his weak spot, he won't hurt me." Physically I wanted to add but decided to keep that to myself.

"I don't like this. I'm coming with you." Chase stated. As if that would solve it, if anything, Chase's presence would probably make it worse.

"You're not. You can stay in the car and watch from a distance if that makes you feel better, but you're not coming with me and that's final." They'd probably end up in a fight and it just wasn't worth it.

"I don't get why not. I'm your boyfriend." Chase said as if that was a valid argument.

"Exactly and he's my ex. Do you really think he'll open up if the boyfriend of the girl he wants back is standing right beside her? No. Think about this, you know I'm not just saying this to spite you." I pleaded. I needed Chase to understand.

Chase sighed and I held his hand. He squeezed mine a little.

"Fine." He sighed again. "But that doesn't mean I like this." I could tell he didn't agree with me and maybe I had taken advantage of his friendly nature but this conversation needed to happen between me and Tobin, nobody else.

"I know. If you didn't mind, I'd be worried." I smiled lightly. He returned it but it didn't reach his eyes.

He looked sadly at the bowl when I took it out of his grasp and put it on the table, but his mood lifted when he noticed I did it so I could sit on his lap.

I was stroking his hair and it seemed to calm us down.

I kissed his temple.

"Just one conversation and then it'll be over. He's not worth the energy so stop worrying." I reassured Chase. Although there was this tiny voice in the back of my mind that wasn't too sure about it.

Tobin had done so many things and if he really was obsessed with me he wouldn't let this go after one quick conversation. He'd persevere.

I knew he had already won the battle. He wanted me to stop ignoring him and I was giving him exactly what he wanted.

I honestly had no tricks up my sleeve. I didn't have a game plan. The fact that I didn't know how this conversation was gonna go made me a bit anxious.

But what else could I do?

"I know, but I need to be a worrywart right now, okay?" He smiled softly.

"Alright, do your thing." I smiled into his kiss.

-

I took a deep breath. I was feeling queasy but tried my best to hide it from Chase. I didn't want to worry him any further.

I had sent Tobin a text to meet me at 'our spot'. It wasn't as romantic as it sounded, trust me. We used to hang out at this abandoned parking lot filled with stoners and skaters. The ideal place for a budding romance.

"You don't have to do this." Chase told me. He was sitting next to me. He drove me here and he had promised to stay in the car unless he noticed that Tobin started to freak out and hurt me. It was a good deal.

"This needs to end. It'll be fine Chase." I wanted to add 'I promise' but I couldn't. I didn't make promises I couldn't keep and I had no idea what was gonna happen.

I figured Tobin was gonna act pathetic and I'd set him straight and that would be it. That stupid little voice in the back of my mind didn't agree with me though. If it didn't shut up any time soon, I'd drown it with alcohol.

I could really use a shot right now.

"What are you thinking about?" Chase asked. I'd been stoic about this situation, I figured Chase was having a hard time reading me.

"Alcohol." I breathed a laugh.

Both our heads turned when we saw another car on the other side of the parking lot. This was it. I hated that my heart was beating way too fast. I hadn't seen Tobin ever since we broke up. Apparently he couldn't say the same about me.

"Alright this is it. This won't take long." I said as neutral as my voice would allow it.

"I'll be right here." Chase said. I gave him a short kiss and opened the car door.

Tobin hadn't come alone. I couldn't see who the other people were because I was standing too far away. My guess was one of them was Jacob.

When I neared my nerves seemed to be replaced with a feeling of irritation. There was a reason why I was here, I was pissed off. I was glad the feeling came back instead of those stupid nerves.

When Tobin saw me coming he froze. As if he didn't really believe it was me.

I took him in. The guy standing in front of me wasn't the guy I fell in love with years ago. His bright green eyes had lost his spark and were surrounded by dark circles. He was pale and his dirty blonde hair seemed greasy. He looked like a mess.

The dark haired hobo next to him was none other than Jacob. What an unpleasant surprise. Next to Jacob there was a girl twirling her overly hairsprayed hair. What the hell was Tasha doing with those guys?

"Jill." Tobin said. His voice barely above a whisper. I didn't know if he was addressing me or merely saying my name for the sake of it.

"Tobin." I said. I turned my head to the others. "Creature one and two." I nodded. For me, this was polite.

"Hi kitten." I had to fight the urge to gag. As if just the sight of Jacob wasn't horrible enough. To make things worse, the guy actually licked his lower lip, as if I was a cupcake he wanted to devour.

"Bet you're surprised to see me, huh? Did you like the note in your locker?" Tasha said with a smug grin on her face.

"That was you? I knew you were in love with me." I stated.

"I told you to be careful, bitch." She was getting snarky now.

"I was supposed to be afraid because you put a love poem in my locker?" Even though the situation was very tense, I couldn't help but laugh at that. Thanks Tash, your stupidity made me feel a lot better.

"Whatever. I kept an eye on you, you know." I wanted to say 'you're not the only one' but decided against it. She creeped closer to Jacob and the image seemed so wrong.

"You and him?" I blurted out. I didn't like Tasha at all but she could do so much better than that. The girl had self esteem issues.

 "Jacob's my cousin." Tasha explained.

"I'm pretty sure that's illegal." I said. I knew she didn't mean it like that but still. It made sense to me. Those two would evoke the same feeling of disgust in me. I guess some things run in the family.

I noticed Tobin had a faint smile on his face. Great, I wasn't here to amuse him, I was here to kick his beautiful ass. What? You can hate a guy all you want, if someone has a nice ass, you need to acknowledge that. Not that I hated Tobin. I don't think I had it in me to actually hate him, even after all he's done.

"We'll leave you two lovebirds alone." Jacob said with an evil smirk on his face.

"I could say the same for you." I raised my eyebrow.

Before Tasha left, she whispered something in Tobin's ear and kissed his cheek. Maybe it was an attempt to make me jealous. It wasn't very believable since Tobin looked a little grossed out.

"So, I'm here. You got what you wanted." I broke the ice. I wasn't in the mood for small talk, especially not with Tobin. Now that we were alone, we could get down to business.

I never meant for it to escalate like this." He said. I believed him. He sounded exhausted, even talking seemed to be taking a lot of effort.

"Well, it did. I just don't get why." I told him honestly. I knew Tobe, he wasn't like this. We'd had a good relationship, it was solid. Then he changed. He had been a good guy once, he was still in there somewhere. He needed to be.

"I need you." He croaked. He needed help, that's what he needed. Not the person I was in his eyes.

"I'm not sure it's me you need." I said carefully. This didn't seem like a psycho that would threaten my boyfriend. This guy was broken.

"I do! How many ways do I have to show you Jill?" A newfound energy coursed through Tobin. Code had been right, he was like a ticking time bomb. Suddenly I didn't feel confident anymore, I didn't think I could stop him from detonating.

I sighed. "Yelling isn't gonna solve anything. Just talk to me." This suddenly felt like a déjà vu. How many times I'd said these words during our relationship. A year later and it seemed as if time hadn't moved.

The only thing that had moved forward was me. I was fed up with it, I wasn't gonna take it any longer.

"Either you start telling me or I'm gone, Tobe. It's your choice."  He smiled faintly when he heard me call him 'Tobe' instead of Tobin.

Suddenly his demeanor changed. He was gonna explode or have a mental breakdown. I was hoping for the latter.

"Where do I even start?" He asked. "You fucked me up real good, you know that?"

Me? I fucked him up? I guess delusional was another thing to add to the list. I decided not to get into an argument with that. Maybe he was just trying to change the subject.

"Then tell me how. Start from the beginning Tobe, you know where it started to go wrong." I tried to keep my tone warm but I guess I was still bitter. After all this time he still kept me in the dark. A year had passed and I still didn't know why he had acted the way he did during the last months of our relationship.

Before today I figured I was gonna see him so I could give him some closure. Little did I know that he wasn't the only one that needed closure.

Tobin sighed and stared at the ground as if it was the most interesting place in the world. I was ready to walk away, he clearly wasn't gonna tell me anything. I was done waiting.

"You were my rock Jill. You believed in me and you made me feel good about myself. I couldn't tell you. I couldn't bear the thought of you being disappointed in me." He started telling.

Look where it got him. I was beyond disappointed.

"To-". I stopped talking when he raised his hand. He wasn't finished yet.

"You know how my dad was when I decided to quit school." I did remember.

Tobin had been serious about his band. He quit school because he hated everything about it, he lived for his music. He'd always had a rocky relationship with his dad so when Tobin told him the news shit had hit the fan. In the end they came to a compromise that he'd support Tobin for a certain amount of time. After that he needed to find a job to support himself.

"Time was up. He kicked me out. I was having trouble finding a job. I mean, who wants a high school drop out anyway?" He breathed a laugh. I just looked at him, silently urging him to go on.

He went to sit down on the ground and I followed his lead.

"Jacob knew a guy." He continued with his 온라인카지노게임. I already didn't like where this was heading.

"He could get me a job. I took it, I was happy I'd found something. I didn't feel like a complete failure anymore." He ran a hand through his hair and played with his lip piercing. He always did that when he got nervous.

"How legal was this job?" I asked. I had a pretty good idea what it was.

He looked at me pleadingly. "It was supposed to be temporary. Some innocent drug dealing every once in a while and it paid pretty well."

I snorted. Innocent and drug dealing in the same sentence.

"I couldn't tell you, you would've been mad." He said.

"Hell yes I would've been mad! Fuck, Tobin." I was getting worked up. What kind of a friend was Jacob anyway?

Tobin smiled a little at my anger.

"So you started selling drugs and became distant because you didn't want me to be disappointed in you." I did a quick recap. "And it didn't occur to you to just confess when I was breaking up with you?"

Men.

"I... No." Tobin said uncomfortably.

"It kinda went downhill from there. Jacob's guy was happy with my work so I started dealing heavier stuff. Sometimes the buyers would ask me to taste the products." I had a feeling those buyers wouldn't ask politely. I'd seen the movies.

"You're on crack?" I looked him over. His bloodshot eyes, he clearly hadn't been sleeping, he looked a little twitchy. A little bit on edge. The guy needed his fix. I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it earlier.

He nodded. The ground was still the most amazing place on the world. The guy couldn't muster the courage to look at me.

"Okay. Tell me about the stalking." Tobin flinched at that word. He needed to know that's how it felt. That's what it was. Stalking.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you. Everything was better when I had you. I need you and I hate you for it. I hate that you left me. I hate that you moved on. I hate that your fucking boyfriend is waiting for you in the car. What does that loser have that I don't?" Tobin balled his fists, a vein popped up on his forehead. He only got that when he was angry. Yet his voice sounded pleading and desperate.

Well, he doesn't have a drug problem for starters.

I bit my lip so that comment wouldn't slip out. I had no idea what would happen if I'd fuel his anger. Honestly, I was getting scared.

"We were perfect Jill! We love each other. You stupid slut! Why? Why did you have to screw everything up?" He shouted. His face was getting unnaturally red.

"Loved." I said softly.

"What?" Tobin asked. I could tell he was trying to keep his cool.

"Loved. We loved each other. Past tense." I explained.

Tobin looked at me and I could tell the exact moment where his heart broke into a million pieces. The pain was so evident on his face that I almost couldn't bear to look at him any longer. At the same time I couldn't help myself but to look at him.

"You love him, don't you?" He said 'him' as if he was talking about toe fungus.

"Yes." The word came out as a whisper. I was surprised that any sound came out at all.

"You loved me first. You could do it again." Tobin surprised me with his bitterness.

"If you do something to him. If you send that tape, I will never forgive you." I said earnestly.

"Come back and I won't." He had an unfamiliar glint in his eyes. The guy was unstable. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to get away from him.

When the words he had just said registered another feeling filled my entire being.

Anger.

"You want me to be in an unhappy relationship with you? You don't love me. You don't do that to people you love Tobin! Hell, maybe you never even loved me in the first place. Do you even know what love is? Have the drugs screwed with your brain? You need help." By the end I was breathing heavily.

Tobin started to pull on his hair.

"Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!" He yelled.

I hadn't noticed I'd stopped breathing until my lungs were begging for oxygen. I don't know how long  we sat there opposite each other, not saying a word. It could've been half an hour, it could've been a minute.

The anger had disappeared as fast as it came. I could see the anger had drained Tobin too, his twitching had gotten worse.

"I could be part of your life again." I suggested. I didn't really know where I was going with this.

He turned his head so fast to look at me, he must've been seeing stars for a second.

"You'd do that?" Tobin asked incredulously.

"I'm willing to make you a deal. I'll be part of your life again, as a friend, if you sort your life out." I put the emphasis on the word friend. That part needed to be clear.

"How? Jill, I need money, I need a job." He was getting hesitant, which gave my hope.

"Find a new job and get clean. Then you can come and find me. No more stalking, no more threats." I put my hand forward so we could shake on it.

He took my hand but didn't shake it. I didn't feel comfortable with him holding my hand but I guessed he needed it right now.

"Easier said than done." He muttered.

"You can do it." I smiled a little. The guy I once knew was hidden, but not lost.

I stood up and Tobin did the same. I was ready to say goodbye.

Tobin took a look at my car. Chase was looking at us, he had been the entire time.

Suddenly Tobin took a step forward and looked me intently in the eye.

"I will get you back Jill. And if I can't have you, no one can." The evil glint in his eyes was back. Just when I thought I'd made progress with him, he had to go and screw it up. With that said, he left.

My heart was beating in my chest. Tobin got in the car with Jacob and Tasha and I felt relieved that the conversation was over.

I started walking to Chase again, I almost ran to him. Chase was safe.

I could hear Jacob's car from behind me and the last thing I heard when I fell to the ground was someone calling my name.

Then everything went black.