The bad girl and the dork

"Here are the keys." Tom dangled the set of keys in front of my face as if I didn't believe his word.

"Thanks you, my dear peasant." I answered while I opened my locker.

I had asked Tom to get the keys from Smitty. It was tutortime and I had the feeling the teachers didn't trust me with a set of keys.

Like I needed keys. I'd break in. I'd done it many times before. The last time was with Code but the door wasn't even locked back then. Once I'd put furby's all over school and got some frightened reactions from people. Even the teachers didn't know what those sounds were.

When a kid yelled 'alien invasion' shit had hit the fan. They actually evacuated the class. It really sucked that it was Snake's class and not mine since it was my idea.

Or the time with the walkie talkies. I'd put a few near the teachers and Code would say obscene things into another walkie talkie. I did the same for his classes. Maybe saying 'I masturbate when I'm grading papers' was taking things a little too far. Although that teacher did look extremely guilty.

"You're welcome" Tom said friendly. He didn't seem to mind that I had just called him peasant. Weird scrawny kid.

A note fell out of my locker.

"You dropped something." Tom picked it up before I could say 'I know dipshit I'm not blind'.

I took the note from his hand and eyed it. Didn't seem like my note. Since I don't take notes. Ever.

I opened it and read what it said out loud.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Our love will never be dead

You know it's true

"Ooh it rhymes." I commented with a fake enthusiasm.

"Is it from your boyfriend?" Tom asked.

I snorted "No way. It's probably Jake, he tends to do weird and creepy stuff like that." One time he had given me a heartshaped box with chocolates. When I opened it I noticed the box was empty.

Jake had said 'Put that in the trash, will ya? Oh and I love you Jilly'. I figured the note was just one of his jokes.

"You have weird friends." Tom asked while reading the note once again.

"I know. Will you sniff it? Maybe it's scented." What I didn't mention was that if it was from Jake and it was scented, it probably wouldn't be a good scent.

Tom brought the note to his nose and sniffed carefully, obviously not trusting the entire thing.

"No scent." He sighed in relief.

"Too bad. I'll have to thank Jake though." I smirked, an idea already forming in my head.

"I'm afraid to ask." Tom said. He got used to me but I guess he was still scared of my devious mind. As he should be.

"Then I won't tell. Come on, time to use my authority." I took the keys and headed towards the classroom.

"Oh boy." Tom muttered behind me.

Five minutes later everyone was seated at their desk while I was sitting on the teacher's desk, dangling my legs in the air.

"So do we need to introduce ourselves?" A guy with shaggy blond hair and green eyes asked.

"We're all in the same class, Mitch. Do you need introductions?" I raised my eyebrow. I really wished I wasn't being surrounded by idiots.

"Right." Mitch said. Alright, glad that was cleared up.

I jumped off the desk and grabbed the bag I had brought with me.

"What's in the bag?" Mitch asked.

"For fuck's sake, I was about to tell everyone." The guy didn't have any patience at all.

I grabbed one item out of the bag and put it on the desk.

"This" I pointed at the mason jar next to me "is the awesome jar."

"Why is it awesome?" Amy asked. She and Jessica were the only girls. Amy had ombre hair and brown eyes and Jessica was a curvy girl with curly black hair and her eyes were almost just as dark.

Because Smitty paid for them with the money he earned because of me.

"Because you're all getting one and before you start asking questions, try to contain yourselves. Answers will be provided soon."

I handed everyone a mason jar and noticed Ronan had opened the lid and put his hand inside. He was struggling graciously to free his hand. His tongue was hanging out of his mouth and his brown hair had fallen over his eyes.

Yep. Definitely surrounded by idiots.

Once I had given everyone their mason jar I took the last two items out of the bag.

"Ooh candy. I love candy." Trent said. Seemed like someone wasn't an idiot.

"The awesome jar is gonna motivate you." I took the M&Ms and Skittles "Whenever you complete an exercise correct you get a Skittle or an M&M. If you don't like either then get the fuck out. I can't be in the presence of candy haters."

"Isn't that a little childish?" Jessica asked.

"Would you rather live in the cold harsh adult world or in the wonderful fantasy world of children?" I asked her.

"Point taken." She muttered.

"Now. Any questions?" I skimmed the room and the people were shuffling in their seats a little uncomfortable.

"I have a very important question." Trent said.

"Shoot." I knew it wasn't gonna be important but it sparked my curiosity.

"Can we eat the candy when the jar is full?" He asked with a serious expression on his face. At least I managed to motivate one person.

"Of course! That's the point. Any other questions?"

"Can I ask my question?" Tom had kept quiet the entire time until now.

"No. Anyone else?" In the corner of my eye I could see Tom with his mouth wide open.

"Why not?" He asked incredulously.

"I was kidding, Tom." I rolled my eyes. Mitch snorted.

"Does the person that fills his jar first get something else?" He asked.

"A pat on the shoulder?" I answered. Then I got an idea.

"Oh no. Why is she looking like that?" I heard Trent whisper.

"I think she just  got an idea." Mitch replied. Seriously, I didn't you could whisper this loud.

"A competition!" I almost yelled it. Luckily I didn't because these people were already apprehensive when it came to me.

"Ooh a competition. Do tell." Ronan suddenly looked interested. Figures. He was on the baseball team. A smart jock? Yes, a smart jock.

"Try to fill your jars the fastest. Whoever wins... hmm. What would motivate you guys?" I asked. I  wanted to say 'whoever wins gets to prank Smitty' but I guess not everyone was like me.

"You'll do a striptease?" Mitch asked.

"Nice try. But no. Something everyone would enjoy, I don't think the girls would be impressed by my striptalents." I gestured at the girls who were looking quite disgusted.

"So you have striptalents?" Trent asked, earning himself a high five from Mitch.

I rolled my eyes "Any ideas?"

"I don't think I can top striptease." Tom said with a sigh. Thanks for the support Tom, thanks.

"I know!" I yelled. "Whoever loses gets to be the winner's bitch for a day!"

Everyone cheered. People'd be motivated to at least not lose.

"I really hope a girl loses." Trent said with a fake dreamy expression on his face.

"By bitch, I don't mean sex slave okay. I'm not a fucking pimp." I told him earnestly.

"Are you playing too? I'd love to have Jill the thrill as my bitch for a day." Mitch wiggled his eyebrows. I really felt like gagging.

"She's the tutor, I don't think she'd lose." Tom said.

"Wait. Jill the thrill?" I raised my eyebrow. My mouth twitched in amusement. I didn't know I had a nickname! A cool one, that is.

"Yep, you're Jill the thrill because we never know what to expect from you, so it's thrilling. And it rhymes." Mitch explained. Ronan and Amy had a concerned look on their faces, afraid I was gonna explode from anger because of the nickname or something.

"I love rhymes! That's a cool nickname dude. Have a skittle." I threw Mitch a Skittle. He didn't catch it and when he picked it up from the floor he put it in his mouth. Everyone stared at him.

"What? Five second rule." He shrugged, chewing happily on the skittle.

"So what are my friends' nicknames?" I asked.

Mitch gasped "How'd you know they have ones too?"

I rolled my eyes "I figured I wasn't that special."

"Well, they don't rhyme but it's Jake the player, Alternative barbie, let me think." Mitch was deep in thought.

I burst out laughing "Alternative barbie? That one's gold!"

"Snake is just snake though, he doesn't have one." Ronan chimed in

"Obviously. Snake says it all. What about Code?" I asked no one in particular.

"Code the prankster. Or Code the bunny after the bunny suit thing." Amy said with a glint of amusement in her eyes.

I laughed "That was pretty awesome. I call him Code the cutie." I overshared.

"Aw aren't you a nice girlfriend." Trent cooed.

"Code? Ew no. He's like my brother. Almost literally." A lot of people seemed to think I was dating Code or Jake. It grossed me out all the time.

"Almost literally? OH! Now I know who your boyfriend is!" Jessica said as if she just discovered the holy grail.

"How do you even know I have a boyfriend?" I asked Jessica judgingly.

"Jill, everyone knows you have a boyfriend. You really don't listen to rumors, do you?" Ronan asked. Well, wasn't he just a little gossip girl.

"I don't because of this reason right here." I deadpanned.

"Wait. Code's brother is Chase, right?" Tom asked.

"Great discovery, Sherlock." I answered sarcastically. How did we get from candy to nicknames to Chase?

"Chase Adams is your boyfriend? Hallelujah there's hope for nerds!" Mitch raised his hands in the air.

"Oh he's not your stereotypical dork." I smirked when thoughts of the library popped into my head.

"You dirty girl, tell us all about it. It's the least you can do if you're not doing the striptease." Trent added.

"I don't kiss and tell." I said. These people were more amusing than I'd thought.

"Too bad." Tom mumbled. He didn't expect me to hear that.

I threw a Skittle at his face but he caught it with his mouth. Holy shit, you should've seen that. It was pure talent and magic mixed into one glorious moment.

"Dude! That was awesome!" Ronan yelled and gave Tom a high five. Tom brought his hand up hesitantly. There's nothing more touching than a budding bromance between a nerd and a jock.

"Anyway, let's start filling those jars, okay?" I suggested. We hadn't used our time wisely. Which was great, but still.

"You're not as bad as I'd thought you'd be Jill the thrill." Trent said and a few people nodded in agreement.

"Well, it's hard to be worse than Shitty Smitty." Everyone started laughing. I guess I was the only one with that adorable nickname for our teacher.

"It was you with the fake tattoo prank last year, was it?" Trent asked curiously.

"Trent, do your work unless you want to be somebody's bitch. And yes, yes it was." I winked.

Last year I had found a teacher taking a quick nap in between classes and it wasn't the first time I'd caught him. One day I decided to bring some fake tattoos and put it on his head. It was a great day.

"I can't do my work! Aren't you supposed to be tutoring?" Mitch sounded frustrated already.

"Just try the exercises and if you don't get it, tell me." I suggested.

"What if you don't get anything?" Amy sighed.

"Raise your hand if you don't get any of the exercises." I was surprised to see every single hand in the air.

"You don't call him Shitty Smitty for no reason, Jill." Ronan said.

"Alright, I'll give a short lesson and then you can try the exercises." I sighed. Someone needed to fire that guy.

As I started explaining everyone took their notes and started writing eagerly. I was a little weirded out.

After my little lecture I grabbed my phone and secretly took a picture to send to Chase.

Tutoring like a boss x

It didn't take long for him to text back.

Hey, I want a jar too! x He added a picture of M&Ms on his desk.

I looked around if anyone had any questions but they were all slaving away so I started texting again.

I don't know if you're awesome enough for a jar x

I was glad Chase and I were back to normal. The fight was already erased from my memory. His next text said:

You wound me! I tried to study at the library but I got distracted. You ruined that place for me x

I bit my lower lip. Poor Chase getting distracted. Maybe he'd get a boner now everytime he'd enter a library. That would be creepy. And hilarious.

"Stop sexting Jill!" I jumped when I suddenly heard Mitch's voice.

"Start working Mitch!" I replied. He listened with a smug look on his face.

I hadn't texted Chase back so I resumed what I was doing.

Really? Funny, 'cause you made that library bearable for me x

My love for libraries had grown exponentially.

Bearable? That's it? x

I had to suppress a laugh. I had crushed the guy's ego by accident.

Okay fine. I looove libraries now. Happy? x

After I'd helped Tom with a question and put a M&M in his jar I checked my phone once again. As expected, Chase had replied.

Like you looove me? ;) x

I mentally rolled my eyes.

Yes you dipshit. x

The tutoring session lasted thirty minutes longer than I'd anticipated but by the end everyone had a few M&Ms or Skittles in their jar. Including me, 'cause I'm awesome. Luckily I hadn't forgotten to text Gwen to tell her I was running late.

After locking up and handing the key back to Tom, I went outside where Gwen was waiting for me.

"What was it like playing the hot teacher?" Gwen nudged me.

"You make me feel like a porn actress." I answered.

"Hey, they make a lot of money." Gwen raised her hands. She had a bottle of metallic blue nail polish in one of her hands.

"They do and I don't. Damn I was playing the teacher in the wrong setting." I pouted.

Gwen laughed.

"But seriously, how was it?" She asked curiously.

"It was fun actually. The people aren't too bad. Oh hey! Wanna hear a fun fact?" Now it was my turn to nudge her.

"If you're telling me you had an orgy then I'm joining you next time." Gwen deadpanned. I wasn't sure if she meant it or not. She probably did.

I ignored her comment and continued.

"People call you alternative barbie." I gushed like a little schoolgirl.

"They do? That's so awesome!" Gwen said with an octave so high that only dogs could hear it.

"Yep and they call me Jill the thrill." I said proudly.

"Ooh that sounds ominous. I like it." She replied.

"I know! Let's get out of here." I headed towards the parking lot but noticed Gwen didn't follow me.

"Gwen?" I asked.

"I can't." She said and looked at her feet.

I followed her gaze and started laughing.

She had painted her toenails and had to wait until they were dry.

While we were waiting I told her about the note Jake had written.

"Knowing you, you've already figured out a way to thank him." Gwen said. The girl really did know me.

"Yes I have. Are your toe nails dry yet?" I asked her impatiently.

"I think so. Where are we going?" She put her shoes back on.

"We, my friend, are gonna steal a stop sign."