The bad girl and the dork

You'd think you'd get used to getting up ten minutes earlier each day, right? Wrong. I was not cut out for this.

I was almost ashamed to admit the amount of cookies I'd devoured these past few days.

After a free period I got to AP Chemistry a little earlier than usual. Smitty and I needed to talk.

When I got there the door was open so there was no need to knock. The teacher was sitting at his computer, typing away. My bet was he was writing some kinky fanfic about polar bears. It seemed like something he'd do.

Maybe even bears in general. Why stop at polar bears? Oh, poor Winnie the pooh. The honey probably isn't the only sticky thing in Smitty's fanfic.

"Jill! You're early." The teacher said, ripping me away from the disturbing images in my mind. He looked extremely surprised and a little nervous. I tried not to chuckle at his nerves. For fuck's sake dude, you're a grown man.

He probably was nervous because he didn't want to get caught writing fanfic.

Stop it Jill! You still need to look at the man for an entire hour.

"Yeah, I wanted to ask you something." I told him. To say I was feeling uncomfortable would've been an understatement.

"Is this about the tutoring program? I knew you'd change your mind!" His nerves were replaced by an unnatural excitement. Maybe teachers were betting or something whether I'd agree or not.

"How much money did you earn?" Suddenly I got curious about my theory.

"W-What do you mean?" Yep, he was sweating. There was definitely something going on.

"You seem awfully enthusiastic about me tutoring so I figured the teachers had a bet going on." I shrugged, seeming uninterested but eyeing Smitty closely.

"50 bucks." He sighed. I could tell he felt ashamed. Oh he got busted alright. Not with the bear porn but still.

I laughed. I couldn't help myself but this was just too ridiculous. The teacher looked surprised by my reaction.

"Man, you could've made so much more." But then again, I didn't want him to earn money because of me so it served him right.

"I should apologise. It was very unprofessional." Smitty's cheeks were burning in embarrassment.

"I don't care, but feel free to share your winnings." I smirked. I already had an idea of what I could do with it.

"So about the tutoring" I decided to change the subject when I noticed the excessive sweating. Didn't want the guy to piss himself. You can't teach a class with peestained pants. Plus, I hated substitutes.

"Yes!" I almost jumped at his enthusiasm again. He was probably extremely relieved I changed the subject.

"Since you're capable of tutoring an AP class I'm gonna let your classmates sign a sheet if they want to be tutored and I'll give you the sheet by the end of class. Does that sound like a plan?" He explained as if he'd had countless nights of practising this plan.

"Sure. So I'll only be tutoring chemistry then?" I'd rather tutor something that wasn't chemistry. I preferred other classes.

"We'll start with that. Friday afternoon I have a meeting with the others that are responsible for the tutoring program and then we'll see where you can fit in." Smitty explained.

A few people started entering class. Some of them stopped what they were doing when they noticed I was already there. I could hear someone whispering 'Is she pulling a prank?' which made me chuckle.

"Sounds like a plan." I answered and went to my seat.

Near the end of class I got my hands on the tutoring sheet. Six people, including Tom, had signed up. That was almost half of this class. Yeah, not a lot of people are in AP Chemistry, who would've thought, right?

I shouldn't have been surprised. There was a reason I called the teacher Shitty Smitty.

"Good luck tutoring six people." Tom whispered to me.

I snorted "I could always scare them into listening."

Tom grinned "Worked for me."

It did. I still remembered when he had to ask me to tutor him. I had considered buying him diapers for our first tutoring session, it was that bad.

After my last class I found myself in a frustrating situation.

"Come ON, you stupid machine!" I kicked the vending machine. I was in dire need of a snack and the thing from hell wasn't cooperating with me.

I was getting stressed out and when that happened I needed to eat. See where the problem is? I couldn't eat!

"Ah Jill, living up to her reputation." An annoying voice said behind me. I turned around to see Tasha looking at me as if she was looking at a public toilet.

"Not now, Fishy." I rolled my eyes and turned around again. I sighed when Tash moved so she was standing next to me. Awesome. I was missing a parasite today, glad I found one just in time.

I turned so I could look at her. I could see she hadn't given up the hair spray because of the incident. Good for her, overcoming trauma like that. She was wearing a tight baby blue dress. Although it could've been a shirt, it barely covered her ass.

"You don't scare me." She was trying a little too hard to sound tough. Acting wasn't for her.

"Good to know. Now make yourself useful and let it rain candy or leave me alone." Candy rain would be a dream come true. It would hurt though. I imagined Tash getting hit in the eye with a popsicle. I hadn't realised I was smiling until Tash cleared her throat. Ugh, I swear the girl was in love with me, she couldn't leave me alone.

"You're acting like a badass now but that won't last." She had an evil grin on her face and for a second I was wondering if she was a psychopath or just plain weird. Hairspray fumes really did a lot of damage.

"Was that supposed to be a threat? You really need to work on those." The least you could do was use a spinning chair and have a fluffy white cat on your lap. That's how it works.

"Be careful, Jill." She whispered before she left. The girl loved her drama.

I shrugged and kicked the vending machine once more. Nothing.

"Fine, I'll feed you money so you feed me candy." Had I failed to mention I hadn't paid? Oops.

I got two Mars bars instead of one. Yes, thank you universe, I needed that.

By the time I got outside, everyone already left. I plopped myself down on the stairs and sighed.

I didn't know what to do. I had debated on calling Chase. I had grabbed my phone and put it away again for at least twelve times. My lower lip was a mess because of the biting.

The reason why I didn't want to call him wasn't because I didn't want to talk with him. I was afraid he wouldn't pick up. Sending a text seemed so lame. What would I text him anyway?

No. A text seemed safe. He could answer when he was ready.

I grabbed my phone again but didn't type anything. I hadn't heard from him for almost a week so I couldn't just text him 'hey, sup?' or something equally lame.

Hi... If you're not busy I'd like to see you. I'm at school x

It was as truthful as it could get.

I jumped when my phone buzzed a few minutes later. Did I really want to read the answer? What if he didn't want to see me? I mean, he would've contacted me if he wanted to see me but he didn't.

Stop being such a girl. Click the damn thing.

Not gonna lie, it took me a minute to gather my courage.

I'll be there in ten x

My heart was about to explode. I was expecting worse and I even got an 'x'. That was a good sign, right? Sure it was.

Because of my excessive worrying, Chase arrived sooner than I'd thought. I recognised his car, apparently his tyre was fixed.

I walked up to him, he just got out of his car just as I arrived.

He looked good. He looked like Chase. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed him. Even now as he was standing in front of me I missed him because I couldn't hug or kiss him.

I did notice the bags underneath his eyes. Guess I wasn't the only one that had lost sleep. His reason was probably school.

"Hey." I said softly. I felt a little happier now but I tried to suppress it. We weren't okay.

"Hi Jill." He said, taking me in like I had a few seconds ago.

It wasn't awkward between us but there was a lot of tension. I could almost taste it. And let me tell you, it didn't taste like a Mars bar.

"Look-"

"I-"

We started at the same time. Well, that was lame.

We walked to the steps so we could sit down. I didn't like the distance between us, even though it wasn't that big.

"Can I start?" I asked. I wasn't sure what he was gonna say so I just wanted him to hear my share.

"Go ahead." He said. I studied his face briefly, he didn't seem angry at all.

"You were right." I told him.

"Jill, I-"

"No, please let me finish." I interrupted him. I wouldn't be able to say everything otherwise. This had to be a monologue.

When Chase didn't say anything I took it as a sign to continue.

"You were right. I've been wasting my time and I wasn't respecting yours. It's just- I don't know what I want but I'm trying to figure it out, okay? You opened my eyes. I needed to hear it. The teachers here don't give a shit and my parents are happy as long as I keep getting A's. I always figured I was doing fine but I wasn't. I am a scared little girl. I am because I don't know what to do and time is ticking away." I sighed.

"And" I looked Chase in the eyes. Those dark blue eyes I'd missed. "I'm sorry. I was being a little bitch and I should've understood."

Chase had listened to me with an unreadable expression. I didn't like baring my soul like that but I owed Chase.

"Jill, I should apologise too. I was a jerk and I hated myself for it. I should've never shouted at you like that. I was afraid to contact you because I figured you didn't ever want to see me again. I fucked up. I was frustrated and I took it out on you but I shouldn't have." He said in one breath.

"A part of me is glad you did though." I said honestly. But the huge part of me that hates fights didn't like it at all.

"I really hope you can forgive me for being a dickhead." I smiled softly at his puppy eyes. He didn't need any forgiving to begin with.

"Only if you forgive me for being an annoying bitch." I knew he had forgiven me when his smile grew wider.

"And don't say anything like 'it's part of your personality' because I will kick your ass." I said teasingly, causing him to chuckle.

"Boo, you're no fun." He pouted.

"I'm not. Haven't you heard?" I raised an eyebrow. He looked confused.

"What do you mean?" I noticed he had moved an inch towards me. Always the careful one, that Chase.

"I've been doing homework and getting to class on time and all that shit." I grinned. I was secretly proud it was Wednesday and still going strong. I'd only given myself two days.

"Huh. You don't hear that everyday. I'm glad though." Chase said honestly. I shouldn've been offended that he sounded so surprised but then again, I'd surprised myself.

"It's actually why I texted you. You've been through this and you knew what you wanted but I don't so..." I scratched my head. Fuck I really didn't like this part.

"I need your help." I said without looking at Chase. I didn't ask for help, I took care of everything myself. Asking help is weak. Jill doesn't do weak.

Even though it felt far from weak to ask for help. But I wouldn't make it into a regular thing.

"Was that so hard to ask?" Chase smiled.

"Yes. It was actually." I muttered.

"Cute." Chase took my hand and helped me up. "Come on, let's go."

"Where are we going?" I asked, hoping he'd say 'to my car so we can make out'.

"Library." Chase deadpanned and walked the halls as if he had lived in the library once in his life. He probably had.

I gasped "This school has a library?"

I laughed at Chase's horrified expression "I was joking." Kind of. I hadn't been there since... Ever?

Chase and I spent a few hours at the library. Talking about my interests and colleges and he told me what I had to do. He had promised to keep helping me with this dreadful process and I was grateful for that.

Not once had he touched me or kissed me and a part of me wondered if we were back to being friends. It didn't seem the right time to ask but when we left the library and back outside I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Thanks." I said and came to a halt. I didn't want Chase to go to his car yet.

"No problem. I really don't mind helping you." Chase gave me one of his genuine smiles.

When he noticed the change in my facial expression his smile faltered. "What's wrong?"

"What are we? I mean I know we had a fight but" I didn't finish my sentence 'cause I had no idea how.

"We had a fight and we made up. Isn't that what couples do?" Chase took a step forward so he was standing right in front of me.

"It is but I feel like we haven't made up yet." I said while taking another step forward. I was practically standing against Chase.

"Making up isn't the same as making out Jill. Get your mind out of the gutter." He smiled.

"Never. It belongs in the gutter." I was still smiling when Chase let his lips fall on mine. My arms circled his neck and the tingling feeling came back. He held my waist a little firmer than usual and our kiss seemed more urgent and desperate. I loved the new, yet familiar feeling.

This was home. Kissing Chase was home.

"Now let's go to my place so we can pretend to watch a movie while doing more of this." Chase suggested after breaking the kiss.

My head - and let's face it, my body - was screaming yes but I hesitated. Hanging out and doing nothing was what caused the fight in the first place.

"I don't know, I've held you from your schoolwork already." To my surprise Chase gave me a big hug as a reply. The hug felt so safe and warm it almost made me want to cry. But I didn't, because, you know, I'm not Code.

"I've had enough time doing that. I just wanna spend some time with my girlfriend." He kissed the top of my head and I climbed in his car. I'd get mine later. Right now, I didn't want to leave his side, afraid he'd slip away again.

"Nice prank by the way. Bus hasn't stopped sniffing my crotch." He deadpanned. I burst out in laughter, imagining the beautiful scenario.

"Yes, that was Code's reaction too." Chase wanted to sound annoyed but the amusement was evident in his voice.

"He's such a good boy." I smiled mischievously.

"You know it took me half a day to figure it out. I'm impressed Jilly bean but I'll get you back." He narrowed his eyes playfully.

"Bring it on Chase, bring it on."