The bad girl and the dork

"I'm coming with you" Gwen said while pulling my arm like a little kid.

"But it's zoo day. Go play with your other friends" I told her like I was talking to a seven year old.

That's right. It was Wednesday. Finally.

I'd been thinking about the zoo a lot. Okay, maybe it was Chase I'd been thinking about. Ever since my conversation with Kate everything was ruined.

I tried to get some structure in my thoughts and feelings but you can't think rationally about your feelings like that. One of the things I hate about love. Or crushes. Infatuatons? I didn't even know how to call this situation. Was there even a name for it?

"I know, hard to forget when you keep mentioning it Jill" Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Then wh-"

Gwen sighed dramatically.

"Just unlock your car. You can make me lunch." Gwen grinned. She was up to something. This wasn't just about lunch. If I woud've asked, it would've been about lunch. Gwen had ulterior motives. And they scared me. Gwen scared me.

Don't laugh! Gwen may look like cotton candy but she didn't act like it. You know, sweet and sugary? Okay I didn't like that comparison. Let's move on.

I groaned and a minute later we were driving home. Well, I was driving, Gwen was being secretive. Like she was waiting to tell me something when we were home.

"You're freaking me out" I told Gwen. Seriously.

Gwen grinned "I know. Don't shit yourself I just want to talk to you without the guys"

She couldn't have said that earlier? You know, like, hey Jill mind if I come with you because I wanna talk to you?

I guess that would've been too easy.

"So what do you want for lunch?" Yes I was being friendly. Yes the reason why is because I was hungry myself.

"Pancakes?" Gwen said while reading a magazine. She didn't even look up. Oh yeah, she definitely wanted to talk to me badly. She hadn't said much since we got home.

I could eat pancakes.

So I shrugged and started on the batter. I was mastercheffing that shit.

"Your pancakes, mademoiselle" I shoved a plate in front of her face. Gwen was trying hard not to drool on the stack of pancakes.

There were chocolate chip.

Because, why not?

"Okay, that's it. I'm coming over every Wednesday" Gwen said in between bites. Told you I was mastercheffing it.

"Actually, we should go to Snake every Wednesday. When's the last time he has cooked for us? Too long if you ask me." I started ranting. Seriously, he used to feed us every week or so.

Now he had gotten extra shifts at the restaurant he didn't have that much time to experiment by himself. Which is a good sign of course. But still, no need to neglect your starving friends.

"Eh, like two weeks ago when it was your birthday. That reminds me, we should go out so you can wear that sexy dress." Gwen wiggled her eyebrows seductively.

And when I say seductively, I mean like a creepy pedophile.

"You tell me. This weekend?" I hadn't planned anything yet and I didn't go out last weekend so I was in dire need.

"Sure! Let's go on Friday, we'll ask the guys tomorrow." Gwen said while shoving another piece of pancake in her mouth.

"Speaking of the guys... why'd you want to talk to me without them?" Beautiful segway, I know. Very subtle too. I was feeling pretty content about it.

Then Gwen rolled her eyes and ruined it for me.

"Because we need girl talk" Gwen said firmly. Aw man, girl talk with Kate was more than enough. I mean I wasn't even completely recovered from my last talk with her.

The conversation had lingered in my head and it would pop up at the most random times.

Like a zit.

Yes, girl talks were like zits.

"Alright, cut to the chase" I said, not feeling it.

"Exactly! Cut to the Chase. Couldn't have said it any better." Gwen gave me a sly smile. Damn, she was good.

Ugh. Not again. I- just. No.

"Why?" I whined. It was bad enough that I had been thinking about him a lot.

"Because something's happening between you two and I want in." Gwen said. She shoved her plate aside and entwined her fingers, meaning business.

"You want in? As in, you want a threesome?" I mean, I'd prefer one with two men but Gwen was hot so maybe I could make it work.

Kidding.

"So there is something going on then?" Great. I couldn't distract her with sexual innuendos. She really was serious about this.

Alright, let's get this over with.

"There's not." I told her seriously.

"But..." Gwen raised her eyebrow. Yes, there was a but. She could see that but coming from miles away.

"But there could be? Maybe? Look I don't know. Kate asked me last Sunday if I had feelings for Chase and I might just have teeny tiny feelings for him. But. Like I said, I don't know if there even is something going on." I took a deep breath. The words came out fast and I wasn't going to repeat them so I'd hoped for Gwen's sake she had been paying attention.

And she had.

"Okay, so you're at the stage where there's a lot of doubt. Maybe this date will clear things up?" Gwen suggested. She had her shrinkface on. You don't mess with her shrinkface.

"It's not a date! I'm just gonna go with him and have fun and not think too much. I can always analyze the shit out of it 'til I get depressed when I get home." I sighed. Why do girls always want to talk about feelings?

I'd like to figure them out by myself.

In silence.

With food.

"Right... That seems like a great idea to me. Just having fun and not overthinking things. Yeah. You should do that." She smiled contently as if it was her idea to begin with.

"Like I said" I smirked at her.

"You're no fun! We can't have these kinds of girl talks when you already have everything figured out Jill. Spoilsport" Gwen took another bite out of her pancake and then scrunched her nose. Yeah, I didn't like cold pancakes either. Smart move, Gwen.

I snorted.

"I can help you find an outfit! We still have half an hour left" Gwen suddenly jumped up. I groaned.

Being a girl is exhausting.

"What's wrong with wearing this?" I pointed at my outfit. Gwen was already looking for a new outfit for me to wear.

She looked me over. I was wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a Sex Pistols shirt.

"Nothing wrong it's just... I want to find you something still casual, but less casual than what you're wearing." Gwen said.

Right. I'll just pretend I know what she's talking about.

"Hmm... a zoo. Okay, we're going for sexy casual." Gwen muttered. At this point I decided to stop listening. She was probably just talking to herself.

She threw my black jeggings and a maroon longsleeved blouse at me.

Nice choice. I couldn't wear a shirt because it was a little chilly outside, but it was too hot for my jacket so something longsleeved would be perfect. And the jeggings hugged my legs, making them seem longer and leaner.

I quickly changed into my clothes and Gwen nodded in approval when I showed her my outfit.

"Aw and you're already wearing the cookie earrings" Gwen cooed.

I hadn't taken them off since my birthday. They were light so I didn't feel them and they looked cool.

"Shut up" I muttered and Gwen pushed me playfully. We went back to the kitchen.

"Your phone is buzzing. It's probably your lover" Gwen teased and grabbed my phone from the kitchen table.

I tapped my fingers on the table surface, waiting for Gwen to hand me back my phone. She didn't. That little bitch just read my text.

I didn't mind though.

Okay, maybe a little. She had a creepy smile on her face.

"Aw I was right. Isn't he cute, sending kisses and his undying love for you" Gwen cooed. I snorted. Nice try.

"Hand me my phone you creep" I smiled.

She did and I read the text she'd already opened.

Leaving now, I'll be there in ten x

I decided not to text him back since he was driving.

"You know I'm kicking you out right?" We both laughed when Gwen started pouting.

"But I want to give him a parental speech" Gwen whined.

"Get in line. You know what, if I ever go on a real date with Chase you can give your little speech. After my own parents. And the guys." I cringed.

No wonder I was single. I had watchdogs everywhere.

Although my mom never really gave my dates a speech. My dad did. He would get all creepy since I was his only daughter and blah blah. I hoped now with Kate that it isn't that bad anymore. I mean, technically she's like a daughter too so now my dad had to divide his attention.

Another reason why I love Kate.

And the guys just did it for the heck of it. They never scared my dates away but they definitely got all big brother on them. Which is cute, I guess.

But mostly creepy and annoying.

"Yay! I never got to do that. Oh God, is it weird that I'm stoked? I don't care." Gwen grinned.

Yes, it was weird but I wouldn't have her any other way.

Gwen's eyes got big when we heard a car engine. Damn, I hadn't kicked her out yet.

"Oh my God he's coming to the door. You sure this isn't a date?" Gwen asked with a high pitched voice after we heard a car door getting slammed.

I rolled my eyes and opened the door before Chase had the chance to knock.

It looked really ridiculous since he had his fist up in the air, ready to knock.

"Oh. Hey girls" Chase seemed surprised. Probably because Gwen was acting like an overly excited chihuahua.

"Hi Chase! You. Out" I pointed at Gwen.

"Fine" She muttered.

"You want me to drive you home? I noticed your car isn't here." Chase was being his overly friendly self.

"No I'll walk. You kids have fun" She shot me a huge grin and a thumbs up behind Chase's back and walked away. She was almost skipping.

I chuckled at her. There was no one like Gwen.

"She seemed happy" Chase smiled.

"It's because I made her chocolate chip pancakes." I shrugged. I decided not to tell her the other reasons why Gwen was acting giddy.

"Sounds great. I wish I hadn't eaten earlier" Chase had a longing look in his eyes. Longing for my pancakes.

"Then you would've starved" I smirked, grabbed my keys and poked his chest so he'd move an inch.

"Mean" Chase pouted, making me laugh.

"You'll live. Come on let's go it's a long drive!" I started heading to his car.

"You seem excited" Chase said while leaving my driveway.

Duh. I was going to the zoo.

With Chase.

Wait no, I didn't think that.

"Aren't you?" I fake gasped, holding my hand across my heart.

"Surprisingly I am. It's like I'm being rewarded." Chase chuckled.

Of course, going anywhere with me is a reward and a privilege.

Oh, he was talking about the zoo instead of me? Fine. Whatever.

"Plus, it's a Wednesday afternoon and you'll be learning things. That's like a once in a lifetime thing." His eyes stayed on the road.

Mr. Sass had returned and he's not drunk.

"You should cherish the moment. And since when are you this sassy?" I laughed. He looked at me for a second and I noticed a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Only you bring out that side of me" His tone sounded so serious but he was smiling. I hadn't expected that answer though.

"So basically, alcohol and Jill have the same effect on you?" Yes, I was talking about myself in third person. Stop judging me.

"Hmm let's see. Sassy? Check. Getting crazy ideas? Check. Rewards? Check. I guess so." Is it weird I felt proud being compared to alcohol? It probably was.

"I still like Jilly bean better than ethanol so please don't start calling me that." We laughed.

It was silent after that. It's wasn't uncomfortable though.

"I guess I'd rather call you dopamine than ethanol" Chase said, breaking the silence.

It seemed as if the dork session had already begun, I wasn't mentally prepared for that.

"Dopamine... doesn't that affect your mood or something?" I didn't know that much about it. See, this is what you get when you talk to college guys.

"It does. It also plays a role in motivation and rewarding system, among other stuff" Chase said casually. So is he saying that I motivate him? I did teach him how to reward himself with food. Maybe that's what he's aiming at.

That must've been the weirdest compliment I'd ever gotten.

"I'm wondering what you are. There must be a quiz on the internet somewhere that'll determine which neurotransmitter you are." I figured. I'd have to think of one.

"Alright, just make sure I'm a cool one" Did Chase just say he wanted to be a cool neurotransmitter? What kind of conversation was this?

"I don't know if that would fit your personality though" I grinned.

"You're great for my self esteem" Chase joked.

"I guess dopamine just got a new function" That made Chase chuckle.

I looked at him. He looked so carefree, his hand tapping the wheel. I hadn't realised the radio was on. I cranked up the volume because I could hardly hear it.

I recognised it as Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones.

"Don't start singing along, I've heard you sing before and it ain't pretty." Chase and I both laughed. He really had his playful moments. It's nice to know he could act that way with me.

"Runs in the family. Once when I was like eight my mom and I were singing some Spice Girls song and I swear one of the neighbors came in because she got worried because she had heard some 'disturbing noises' coming from our house. My dad still teases me about that." I chuckled.

Yes, Spice Girls, don't judge. They were the shit when I was a child.

To my surprise Chase barked out a wonderfully contagious laugh.

A short while after we arrived at the zoo.

I almost got harrassed by some dude in a creepy animal costume but Chase had put an arm around my shoulder and guided me away from creepy costume dude.

Much appreciated.

Chase also insisted to buy my ticket but I refused. First of all, the zoo is freaking expensive. Second of all, this wasn't a date. It was nice of him to offer though.

And then we were off.

Man was I wrong about this trip. The things Chase had to study were so boring it almost ruined the zoo experience for me. Almost.

One must not underestimate how big my love is for the zoo.

After seeing the birds we were strolling around a little bit.

"This is boring right?" Chase asked. I knew he was talking about his little lectures instead of the actual zoo.

"Yes, it's actually worse than I thought it would be" I deadpanned.

Chase started laughing.

"Your bluntness keeps surprising me." I smiled back at him.

Even though the purpose of this trip was boring as hell, Chase was pretty great company. We had lots to talk about and we laughed at people who got birdpoo all over them. It had already happened twice. Hands down, best part of my day.

After a few hours we were getting tired. What? Walking around for almost three hours and listening to Chase talk about random crap I hardly understood is exhausting. Even though we had stopped an hour ago for some drinks and snacks.

We had flamingo shaped ice cream. I think it was meant for kids but I didn't care.

"Last stop, monkeys." Chase suddenly said.

We looked around for a bit. The zoo was huge so we had to search for the monkeys. Suddenly I noticed the sign.

"There!" I grabbed Chase's hand and started walking towards the monkeys.

I hadn't noticed I was holding Chase's hand until I felt him squeeze mine. His hand was warm and seemed huge compared to mine. But then again, my hands were tiny. When I looked up at him I noticed he was blushing a little.

Oops. Did I make him feel uncomfortable by holding his hand?

I decided to drop my hand. I actually, maybe, didn't really want to stop holding his hand. God, I'm such a girl.

We were at some kind of park with different sections with different kinds of monkeys. It was really crowded.

"Okay, I'll start with the orang-utans" Chase pointed at a spot that was empty. It didn't take me long to see the monkeys.

They didn't seem so nice, to be honest. One of them was eyeing us suspiciously and was playing in the mud. Well, mud, it was probably his own shit but let's not dwell on that.

Chase turned his back to the monkeys to face me, indicating he was gonna start his lecture about monkeys. At the same time I noticed that creepy monkey creature going deeper in the mud and grabbing it with his hands while maintaing eyecontact with us.

Shit.

Literally.

"Chase look out" I yelled.

"Huh?" Chase turned around when he noticed me pointing at the orang-utan but it was already too late.

The monkey had thrown his shit straight at Chase. I had to say, that monkey had great aim. Luckily, it didn't hit me but it got Chase at full force.

His shirt had a nice shade of poo and a little splattered on his neck and face. I burst out laughing.

It got so bad that I had to find somewhere to sit because my legs couldn't handle it anymore. I was full on crying. The monkey had thrown his shit at Chase.

This was gold.

This was something that wouldn't ever happen to me again.

This was perfect.

It's like the entire day had been building up to this moment.

Fortunately, Chase didn't seem to mind that much since he was laughing too. He was grossed out, but didn't mind.

"He just went apeshit on me" Chase sat down next to me. That threw me into another fit of laughter. Damn him.

When I was finally able to catch my breath a little I grabbed my hanky and started wiping Chase's neck and face. He couldn't see the mud so I decided to spare him the trouble.

Every once in a while I'd burst out laughing again and so did he.

"There. You can keep the hanky." I told Chase. Didn't want that one back. Although it would be a great reminder.

"Thanks" Chase grinned but scrunched his nose when he took the hanky from me.

"Don't say I never gave you anything" I winked at him.

"I'll never forget the day you gave me an apeshit infested hanky" Talk about a romantic moment. Who needs sunsets and walks on the beach when you can get monkeypoo?

"Me too. I'll never, and I mean never, forget this day" I was pretty sure I had an evil glint in my eyes.

Chase groaned "You're gonna tell Code aren't you?"

I laughed. I hadn't even thought about that.

"I'm gonna tell everybody" I burst out laughing at his expression. You know, once I get a fit of laughter it's really hard to get out of it. Every little thing would set me off right now.

This seriously made my day.

Chase muttered something, I think he said whatever but I didn't catch it. We got up from the bench. If I didn't get abs from this then there was no hope for me ever getting abs.

"Aw, come on grumpy" I nudged him playfully.

"You know, a hug would help" Chase grinned and spread his arms.

No way was I going near his shirt. But nice try though. It really sucked because I wouldn't mind hugging Chase.

I got a ridiculous idea, so of course I executed it like a boss.

I got behind him and wrapped my arms around him, low enough so I didn't touch his smelly stains. That still counted as a hug, right? I felt him chuckle against me.

After a few seconds I let go of him and he immediately turned around. He was grinning like a happy kid.

"I knew you'd act weird if you wanted to do something nice" I chuckled. He was right.

"I didn't want to touch your smelly poo stains. Let's go buy you another shirt." And so we did. It took a while to find a souvenir shop though.

Unfortunately, Chase didn't get much choice. Most of the clothing items were for kids. I was looking through the shirts and Chase was doing the same.

"I found the perfect one! I'm buying it for you" I didn't give him the chance to look at it and quickly paid for it.

"Okay, let me see. I'm a little scared." Chase bit his lip but there was amusement in his eyes.

I showed him the shirt. It was a black shirt with a white drawing of two monkeys. They were both holding bananas. The one with the larger banana said mine's bigger and the other monkey looked grumpy.

He started laughing. Then he started stripping.

I didn't try to look. Okay, that was a lie. I did look. He quickly changed into the new shirt. A little too fast for my liking.

"What d'you think?" Chase grinned and I mimicked his expression.

"Perfect." I wasn't just describing the shirt. This entire day had been perfect.

We didn't stay long after that since it was an hour drive back.

"Who knew this day was gonna be this exhausting" I said after a few minutes of silence in the car. Again, not an uncomfortable silence. I didn't often feel uncomfortable, especially with Chase.

Since, you know, he's a friend. No other reason. Nope.

"I know. I had fun though. Thanks Jill" He shot me a quick glance before he focused his attention back on the road.

"Ditto. Thanks monkey" I chuckled.

"No no no that's not gonna happen" Chase laughed. This was the perfect opportunity to tease him.

When I noticed we were near home I realised I didn't want this day to come to an end. The entire day I hadn't thought about my feelings for Chase. I just had fun, like I promised myself.

Now that the day was almost over I couldn't help but think about it. I had enjoyed myself immensely. Not just because I was at a zoo, but because I was there with Chase.

It was almost terrifying how my feelings had been confirmed today. There was little room for doubt. I did have feelings for Chase. If I hadn't had them before, they were definitely there now. We had laughed and talked a lot. We had enjoyed each others company.

Even when things didn't go that well for Chase, he was still able to laugh it off. He really did have a great sense of humor. Even apeshit couldn't ruin his good mood.

"What are you thinking about?" I almost forgot I was in a car with Chase.

I wasn't gonna tell him about my feelings. At least not yet. I was too busy today focusing on having fun and not thinking that I didn't pay attention to him that much. I didn't pick up if he felt the same way.

So I wasn't afraid to tell him how I felt, I just didn't like rejection. I needed more time. With him.

"Monkeys" I replied. We both laughed.

I was gonna be thinking about monkeys for a long time.