The bad girl and the dork

By alpacapoo

963K 26.2K 10.3K

I'm Jill and these are five random facts about me 1. A day spent with Nutella is a day well spent. 2. My best... More

The bad girl and the dork
Is it possible to OD on cookies?
Nutella is the answer to all your food related problems
Always have a secret food stash at various places
I call it hobo chique
I was turning on her inner lesbian
I'm the picture of sophistication
I've heard people taste like chicken
It was as if Barbie had puked in her locker
Brainfarts everywhere
She looked like a My Little Pony
I know you've been having buttproblems
I swear her ovaries just exploded
He was such a pretty mangirl
Only two shots away from pink elephants
I'd rather lick a used tampon
He just went apeshit on me
There's my queen
Really Old Yogurt Grows Bad In Vanilla
Don't flash your underwear on the first date
I didn't know you were gonna lick the guy
Killed us with a spoon
The rest could suck my thumb
A duck sniffing a dog's hiney
We were having a Full House moment
He was writing some kinky fanfic about polar bears
I love you because you say things like fuckbuckets
I can't be in the presence of candy haters
Get your biceps out of my face
Were you guys sniffing glue earlier?
He was talking about toe fungus
Couldn't you have gotten a bloody moose
Epilogue: cover it up with Oprah's face
Bonus: I practically survived on coffee and M&Ms
Bonus: Code's crazy calamities
Bonus: I was Burger King desperate
Jake: The walking cliche
Bonus: this is not a bonus
Xmas bonus: decided to drop the Jill Bomb
Anniversary bonus: Road trip
Bonus: the rock identified as a turtle

Emergency, my ass

21.5K 639 101
By alpacapoo

"What else do we need?" I scratched my head with my pencil.

"Ooh! We could make cocktails!" Kate was sitting next to me on the couch.

It was Tuesday and we were making a list for my little birthday party. So far the only thing on the list was all kinds of alcohol and chips.

I scribbled cocktails on the list, I'd figure out which ones when I was getting it. I was going to buy everything later today.

"What about snacks?" Kate said when she looked at my list.

"Snake said he'd make all kinds of things so we don't need to worry about that." I love that Snake loves cooking. It didn't hurt that he was actually good at it too. Knowing him he'd probably bring way too much food. Not that I was complaining.

We were silent for a bit. I'd probably just wing it at the store.

"Do you think your dad will allow me to get a bunny?" Here I was, thinking Kate was deep in thought about my party but instead she was thinking about bunnies.

I snorted at the random question.

"I don't know. When I was nine I got a hamster but I felt sorry for the little critter, you know, being in a cage all the time. So I always let it loose. Once it escaped and it flee to the office and apparently it had scared dad. His reflex was to kill it because he thought it was a mouse running around. Luckily I was able to stop him before he turned into a coldblooded killer. It was still a very traumatic experience for me, my dad and Mr. Fluffbum." I said, wiping an imaginary tear from my eye.

"Touching 온라인카지노게임. I'll ask him anyway, it could never hurt to try, right?" She could try but knowing my dad he'd probably say no.

"Well, you c-" My phone started singing Spiderpig.

"Hang on" I said to Kate while grabbing my phone. The screen said it was Code calling.

Here's the thing about Code, he never calls. Slightly worried I clicked the screen and held the phone to my ear.

"Everything alright?" It was Code so there was no need to say hello first or anything.

"Yeah, uhm, could you come over with your car? It's kinda urgent." Code didn't sound alarmed or anything.

"I'll be there in ten." No explanation needed. When a friend calls you and says it's urgent, you don't question it.

"Okay, bye" Code had hung up before I could say anything else.

"Is everything okay?" Kate asked while I was putting my shoes on.

"I think so? Code asked me to come over, said it was urgent. Could you tell dad I'll come again in a few days?" I had to leave before seeing my dad so I guess I should visit him again in a few days.

"Sure! See you at school" Kate walked me to the door.

"Bye!" Luckily I came in my car since it was raining earlier.

Ten minutes later I was in Code's driveway. The moment I stepped out of the car he opened the front door and came up to me.

"Chase's car broke down when he wanted to head back home so we need to go get him." Chase and Code share a car so Chase was probably stranded somewhere.

"Sure, where is he?" Code was already sitting in the passenger's seat.

"Harvard" Code deadpanned.

Seriously? That's not even far and there are so many buses he could take. That was his emergency? Code could be so lame sometimes.

"Really Code, really?" I sat down behind the wheel and looked at him judgingly.

"What? I'm worried." Code gestured for me to start driving.

"Why are you so worried about Chase?" This side of brotherly love was new to me.

"Not Chase! The car!" I started laughing. That made more sense.

Fine, I guess I was driving to Cambridge. Emergency, my ass.

Chase was sitting on the hood of his car when we arrived. Code ran out and started petting the car. He can be a passionate guy sometimes. Just not about people, mostly cars and games.

They were checking the engine again when I strolled around their car.

"I already called the tow company so we can just leave" Chase told his brother while shutting the hood.

"Can we just leave the car here alone?" I rolled my eyes at this. You should know that I've known Code for years but I've never seen him this concerned before. Ever.

Well, this was boring. I couldn't suppress my yawn.

"I can see your piercing when you yawn" Code grinned at me. So far everyone loved my piercing and the 온라인카지노게임 that came with it.

I'd told my mom immediately, she wasn't impressed. She was relieved that it was just an innocent piercing that was easily covered up instead of a tattoo on my forehead or something. I'd admitted that it was stupid. I mean, it really was. Thankfully she was okay with it.

My dad is still ignorant. What? I would've told him today. Maybe not. He'll know eventually.

"Oh yeah, Nate said something about that. Did it hurt?" Chase went to stand beside me and Code soon followed.

"I don't know man. I woke up not knowing where I was and then I felt something weird in my mouth. I literally can't remember anything about getting that piercing" I shrugged. It was a cool 온라인카지노게임 to tell but I had to admit at the time I was kinda freaking out.

"You were wasted alright. I practically had to carry you to Nate's dorm" He grinned at me. It was a smile that said 'I know things you don't know' and it worried me a little.

No not really. I didn't even want to know.

"Shotgun!" Code yelled. He was clearly bored of our conversation already.

"No way! I'm the oldest!" Chase yelled back. It surprised me that they'd let me drive. I figured men always wanted to drive the car, right?

They were full on bickering like twelve year olds right now. I sighed and shook my head.

"Settle down kids. Chase can sit up front, Code you sit in the back since you already got to sit next to me when we were heading here." They both looked at me like lost puppies for a moment. It was adorable. You could really see they were brothers right now.

I had so much more respect for Paula all of a sudden. That poor woman had to raise these buttheads.

"But I-" Code started. No way was I getting involved in this stupid argument.

"No buts! If you don't behave you can walk home" Code groaned and listened to me while Chase looked smug.

Yes, that's right. Listen to the almighty Jill.

We all got in the car "Seatbelts?" I asked while looking at Code in my rearview mirror.

"You can drop the mom act now" Code was clearly still moping because he had to sit in the back.

"I don't know, I'm enjoying the authority" I winked at Code. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest.

"I hope you weren't doing anything important" Chase said while fidgeting with his hands. I think he felt a bit guilty about it but knowing Code he'd probably suggested I'd drive instead of Chase.

Code mimicked Chase in a childish way. He didn't think we'd see but I narrowed my eyes in the rearview mirror, knowing he'd see that. He shot me a boyish grin.

"Nope, I was making my party list with Kate. No big deal."  I looked at Chase for a moment to give him a reassuring smile.

"Let me guess, booze and chips?" I heard Code say from the backseat.

"You got it. I don't even know what we're gonna do." I had no inspiration whatsoever.

"Drinking obviously. Although I'm not looking forward to being hung over." Code scrunched his nose. Me neither, Code was a puker.

"You can prevent a hangover if you just keep drinking" I wiggled my eyebrows.

Code gasped.

"That's it Jill! We should do a 24 hour party!" Code got really excited. He always got so many stupid ideas.

"Dude, we don't even know what to do for an evening and you want to party an entire day? Plus, I'm not sure you can afford losing anymore braincells" Chase chuckled at this.

"Aw come on! We can watch movies and play some drinking games. People are easily entertained while drunk. Please, Jill. Let's do this! 24 hours baby!" Code was full on cheering right now.

"Fine, but it's your responsibility to keep us busy. Oh and BYOL because I can't afford all of that" The idea of a 24 hour party was great but it seemed like one of those things that aren't as cool as you thought they were in real life.

"BYOL?" Chase asked.

"Yeah, usually it's bring your own beer but we all like our liquor. Beer didn't seem to fit." Weirdly enough we didn't drink beer that often. Beer was something you'd drink during summer to cool down. Liquor was something you'd drink when you were partying.

Chase chuckled "I should've known"

I should invite Chase too. I mean, we'd been getting along lately and the more the merrier, right?

"You should come" I looked at Chase.

Code snorted. I frowned at him.

"Oh you're serious?" Code asked surprised. Did he think I was joking? Of course I was serious. That is, if Chase wanted to hang out with some high school kids and his little brother. It didn't sound very appealing.

"Sure. I mean if you're okay with this?" He turned around to look at Code. I watched Code's expression carefully in the mirror. I knew the brothers got along but they weren't that friendly. They never went out together or anything.

"Okay, but you're chipping in for Jill's present" Code smiled. Of course he would work that to his advantage.

"Dude, no. Chase doesn't have to buy me anything. Just, you know, BYOL." I grinned at him.

"No it's fine. Birthdays need presents" He gave me one of his big genuine smiles that I'd loved. I found myself returning one.

"I already texted the guys about the 24 hour party so you can't change your mind anymore" Code said smugly. That butthole. I rolled my eyes.

Code was the first one to jump out of the car when we arrived. It was weird seeing him so energized. I think he was looking forward to the party. No pressure or anything to make party freaking awesome.

24 hours? We were gonna get bored as fuck. Oh well, not my responsibility anymore. I should go shopping soon to make sure there were enough drinks and fast food. Even though Snake was bringing food and everyone was bringing drinks. You can never have too much.

We were inside and I was petting Bus when Chase came in.

"What took you so long?" Code asked. I hadn't realised Chase didn't come inside with us.

"Had to make a call" He shrugged and headed to the fridge.

He threw me a bottle of water and then grabbed some for himself. How the hell did he know I was thirsty? Was I ogling his water or something? Probably.

A few hours later I said goodbye and headed to the car. I guess shopping wasn't for today. I'd do it tomorrow. I still had to ask my mom for permission for the new plans but I didn't expect any issues. As long as we didn't break anything or drank ourselves into a coma we'd be fine.

And we wouldn't do that. Come on, I had a little bit of common sense.

I was driving back home when I noticed it was too silent in the car. I hit play on the CD player. I had no idea what CD was inserted but I wasn't in the mood for anything particular.

All of a sudden some random opera music was blasting out at full volume. I recognised it as Cabanera by Bizet. I turned to volume down and listened to it.

I wondered why this CD was playing in the car.

Was it a coincidence Chase had stayed behind earlier? He probably did this. Was this his idea of a prank? Oh wow. That was pathetic. I almost felt sorry for the guy.

Little did he know I liked classical music too. Nothing wrong with that genre, it relaxed me.

If he wanted to prank me he'd have to do better than that.

When I got home I decided to text him.

Loved Cabanera. Gotta say dude, your idea of a prank is pretty disappointing.

That piece was stuck in my head now. I didn't sing it though. Didn't want the neighbors to call the cops on me. They'd probably think someone was getting stabbed if I tried to sing it.

I was about to grab a chocolate bar when my phone buzzed.

It was an impulsive idea. Don't worry, I'll get you back ;)

I snorted. Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it buddy. I think he was too nice to come up with a good prank. Code had enherited all the evil genes in the family.

I somehow find that hard to believe but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I challenge you to a good prank.

Ooh cookies. Maybe I should melt some chocolate and dip the cookies. This is the best idea ever. I'm so awesome.

I grabbed a pot. Au bain marie style. Yeah, I know how to melt my chocolate.

Only because Snake had taught me.

He's a good friend. Teaching me the most important things in life. How to make perfect smores and how to melt chocolate.

They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, clearly it's the way to my heart too.

I hadn't noticed my phone had buzzed again. I quickly opened the text.

Challenge accepted

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