𝓕𝓔𝓐𝓡𝓢 ||𝚌. 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒...

a minute ago, i was staring at the empty walls of a waiting room, and now i'm in a car with two strangers heading to six flags.

things happened fast, okay?

the thought that these two boys might be psychopath murderers only occurred to me after i strapped myself into their vehicle. are they kidnapping me? is the six flags ruse just a lie they tell their victims, like a white-van driver telling kids he's got candy? if so, i'm about to die the world's stupidest death. but no; i tamp down these thoughts. they seem nice, and if i needed to, i could always call a cab as soon as we're parked. if they do try anything though, i should be okay. they don't look that jacked.

"which roller coaster are we riding first?" hat asks.

frick, i've already forgotten his real name. back to hat it is.

"i'm not riding any," i make known.

"what?" hat looks surprised. "what do you mean?"

i give him a blank stare. "i said i was scared of rides."

"yeah, but i assumed since you're coming, you're planning to get over your fear."

"actually, i was planning to keep being scared and find a churro stand."

i catch not-hat laughing at my comment, but hat just shakes his head. "come on, they're really, really fun. we can start on a super small one."

most of the coasters i've seen videos of online are nowhere close to 'super small', but i'm sure they exist. maybe a 'super small' one wouldn't be the end of the world . . . and i'd have a really sick 온라인카지노게임 to tell georgia afterward. plus, a pass into the park would be a waste of money if i don't actually ride anything.

then i remember those 'top ten worst roller coaster incidents' videos i've seen on youtube and doubt creeps back in again.

"i don't know . . . don't they malfunction often? what if the car goes off the tracks?"

"that pretty much never happens."

"i guess."

not-hat speaks up. "by the way, what's your name?"

i can't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. they have a random girl in their car and they don't even know her name. i guess the same goes for me . . . but it's less weird because at least i've heard of them through georgia.

"i'm bree."

"i'm chris," hat says.

"matt," not-hat says.

right, chris and matt. i won't forget this time.

"nice to meet you guys," i say, shifting in my seat to lean forward. "so," i ask, "you guys are tiktokers?"

"well, we are, yeah, but we do youtube as well," chris says.

"so you two do youtube and nick does lip balm?" i ask, trying to get things straight in my mind.

"we all do youtube," matt says, "but nick also has a lip balm brand."

"i see."

"what do you do?" chris asks me.

my stomach sinks. this is a question i dread answering.

the truth is, i'm not actually from L.A, or even from california at all. i was born and raised in kentucky, with a dream of making it as an actress. i grew up participating in all of my school's productions, and i was good, too. but 'good' in middle-through-high school in kentucky doesn't translate quite the same after you've moved out to L.A, where 'good' doesn't even close to cut it.

i saved every dime i could make, waiting tables ever since i was fourteen years old. my parents have been generous enough to help financially with a lot of my moving out, but everything else has come out of my own pocket. i took a gap year after high school, then moved out here when i was 19.

it's been a year now, and i've been rejected from every role i've auditioned for.

which really sucks.

the only amazing, incredible, miraculous thing that has come out of living here has been meeting georgia. (that, and the fact that i ran into billie eilish at a starbucks one time.) i met georgia on my first day of college, both of us from rural towns in a big new city with no friends. we clicked instantly.

despite georgia's success and, comparatively, my failure, i don't hold any jealousy towards her. i couldn't manage to if i tried. georgia is the most hard-working, humble person i know, and she deserves everything she has gotten so far out of her modelling career.

but while she's flourishing under the spotlight and all those cameras, i had to pick up a job as a barista in the coffee shop attached to my apartment to make ends meet.

all of these things rush through my mind every time someone asks the question, so what do you do?  how do i tell them i'm a wannabe actress working at a hole-in-the-wall coffee shop having found pretty much zero success since the day i moved out here?

"oh, i . . ." i pause for a second too long. "i'm a student."

chris raises an eyebrow at me.

"what?" i demand.

"nothing. you just hesitated."

"okay." i shrug.

he doesn't look away from me for another moment or two.

"what?!" i demand again.

"nothing." he peers at me. "i'll figure out your secret, though."

i scoff. "okay, buddy. whatever you say."

we share a charged look, but i break it quickly. i don't know what he's thinking right now, or how much my emotions are showing on my face. i intend to keep all of those thoughts locked far away from cute stranger boys, thank you.

cute. did i just call him cute?

slow down, bree. this is just a quick outing. it'll be over before i know it.

-

"it'll be over before you know it."

my hands are clenched immovably around the guard rail. i glare at chris in response to his unhelpful advice.

"i can't believe you convinced me to stand in this line." my knees start to shake a little, so i shift my weight to cover it.

chris laughs. "i'm telling you, you'll have so much fun you'll want to ride it again!"

"there is no way that'll happen."

"it is a lot less scary than it looks," matt adds gently.

"yeah, it only has one big drop, and no loops or spins or anything like that. it's a beginner ride for sure." chris looks around and then discreetly points at a family not too far from us in line. "look," he whispers. "that kid looks like he just turned five. and he's not even scared."

i peer in the direction he's pointing, at a boy wearing lightning mcqueen crocs. he is looking ahead with excitement, while i'm standing here shaking like a leaf. seeing a little kid in line for the ride does make me feel a little better. but only a little.

"take a deep breath," matt advises.

i do what he says, and my nerves start to settle.

a second later, the line moves forward, and i realize suddenly that we're up next.

and that i'm going to be sick.

"i can't do it!" i exclaim.

"you've got this, bree," chris encourages, and i have to admit that hearing him say my name grounds me for some reason. "we'll be right there the whole time. forget your fears for a little while."

forget your fears. just for a little, just for right now. i take another deep, steadying breath and stare up at the coaster in defiance.

forget your fears.

okay, roller coaster. fine. i'll ride you. not in a weird way— nevermind. but you're no match for bree miller. i'll show you who's boss.

the line moves forward again and this time, the employee standing at the gate waves us all the way through. it's our turn.

oh boy.

my stomach flips in terror and i frantically try to regain what little composure i managed to scrape together just a moment ago. i'm brave. i can do this.

i sit down in one of the big seats and shakily buckle the seatbelt over my lap. my heart is racing. why do people choose to do this for fun? i am wildly uncomfortable right now.

chris gets in next to me and gives me an encouraging smile before pulling down the metal bar over our laps. now we're stuck on this thing: there's no going back.

"can you say something distracting?" i ask the stranger-boy-chris guy next to me. i really am crazy, aren't i? i don't even know this kid and i'm strapped into a roller coaster with him.

the employee controlling the ride has started to speak into the intercom—". . . keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times . . ."—and it only makes me even more anxious. i grip the metal guard tightly between my fists.

"you look cute when you're nervous."

i whip my head in his direction. "what!?—"

blast!

my whole body is thrust back into the seat as we shoot forward with alarming speed. a scream bubbles up in my chest but my clenched teeth don't allow it to escape.

i'm going to die i'm going to die i'm going to die.

WHOOSH! wind whips me in the face at every sharp turn. the sensations are nothing like i've ever felt, the speed absolutely unnatural, and i'm positive that at any second we're going to fly off the tracks. i think i hear chris cheering beside me but i'm too terrified to focus on anything other than holding on for dear life.

another turn, more shrieking wind, and then—

we hit a giant drop and i lose all ability to breath for the longest second of my life.

i'm DEFINITELY going to die.

but just as i'm sure i'm either going to pass out or murder chris when this thing stops, the ride slows down. slows, slows, and then, just like that, it's over.

the metal bar releases and people start to undo their buckles and exit the ride.

"whoo! that was fun, wasn't it bree?" chris stops. looks down at me. "bree? you okay?"

i blink. "i- i'm good. yeah."

i am frozen to the seat. my limbs feel like ice blocks.

"uh . . ." chris looks around. "you gonna get up?"

"oh, right. yes." i finally unfreeze myself and pry my fingers off the metal bar, where they were still latched like cement.

my legs feel wobbly as they carry me off of the ride.

and my first thought when my feet are back on safe, solid ground is . . .

that was . . . kind of fun?

what on earth? that thing almost killed me, i couldn't breathe, i probably have whiplash, and it was fun?

maybe just a little.

"bree," chris turns me around to look at him. matt jogs to catch up. "you good?"

i take a deep breath and meet his gaze. his hair is tousled a little from the ride, yet it still falls effortlessly onto his face. after staring at him for a moment, i finally crack a smile. "that was . . . the worst."

chris raises an eyebrow, his own smile appearing. "yeah?"

"yeah. it sucked." i'm really smiling now.

"yeah?"

"yeah." his hands are still on my shoulders. "can we go ride another one?"

-

a little over two hours later, i'm back in the car with matt and chris.

i never thought i would ever get on a roller coaster in my life, yet today that clearly changed. i didn't ride anything with a loop—because, come on, i may have left my comfort zone today, but i have my limits—but i did work my way up to bigger and faster rides. finally, at the end, matt and chris left to ride one of the giant ones and i bought us all steamy churros.

i bite into mine now, savouring the cinnamony taste on my tongue.

despite all of my previous nerves, i really did have fun with matt and chris.

i guess facing your fears has some benefits.

"aren't you glad you came with us?" chris asks me from the front seat.

"for the churros, yes," i reply around another bite.

he looks back at me. for some reason, his focused gaze and amused smile make my heart skip. "and because you had fun, right?"

i pretend to think about it. "i suppose."

chris grins. "i'm actually impressed that you didn't scream on any of them."

"scream? how could i scream if i couldn't even breathe?"

chris laughs and bites into his own churro. i check my phone to make sure i haven't missed any texts from georgia. nothing. she must still be modelling. how many pictures do these lip balm people need?

"you, on the other hand," i say, slipping my phone back into my pocket, "clearly had no issue screaming your lungs out."

"i don't know what you're talking about," he replies instantly.

"excuse you! matt, vouch for me here."

"like a little girl," he deadpans.

chris's hands fly to his heart like he's been greatly wounded. "my own brother!"

matt shrugs. "marylou didn't raise no liars."

i don't know who marylou is, but i give chris a smug look nevertheless. he goes on pretending he didn't fill the amusement park with his girlish screaming ("i assure you that if i did scream, it would be very manly . . .") and a few minutes later, we're back at the building where the photoshoot is.

i get out of the car and walk in with chris and matt.

"well," chris says, turning around. "it was very interesting meeting you, bree."

i smile at him, look into his calm blue eyes. "you too, chris."

you look cute when you're nervous.

the sudden memory slams me in the chest.

did he really say those words? or did i imagine them? on the roller coaster, right before we took off, didn't i hear him say that? i had completely forgotten about what he had said, and the words are only coming back to me now.

before i can say anything more, chris flashes me one last smile before disappearing to find his brother, nick.

and that is likely the last i will ever see of chris sturniolo.