{ five }

                                        

                                              
may 23. the day of nick sturniolo's space camp release party. a party which i will be attending. 
the week leading up to the day in question was a blur of work, school, studying for finals, and excitedly talking with georgia about the party. 
and now the day has arrived. 
since i don't own my own car, georgia is going to pick me up and take me to the party. she texted me twenty minutes ago to remind me that she was on her way, but this time, i didn't need the reminder. 
i'm more nervous than i usually am for something like this, and i can't seem to figure out why. fitting into social settings is not a weak area in my life. in fact, i enjoy parties. not for the same reasons others might—the wild atmosphere, the drinking, and all that other stuff people get up to—but for the opportunity to talk to people. people are interesting to me, and i've found that everyone has something to say, even those who don't look it.
this party shouldn't be any different. i should be excited to get to talk to nick, and to the models, and to anyone else in attendance. and it's not that i'm not excited . . . i'm just extremely anxious too. 
anxious about what? 
something in my gut is telling me that these weird, knotted-up feelings in my chest are about chris, but i know that that's ridiculous. i have no reason to be nervous around him; i don't even know him! maybe these feelings are just an accumulation of all the other stress and excitement in my life. 
yeah. that's all it is. 
i take a deep breath to calm myself down and check my makeup in the bathroom mirror. i spent a little extra time getting ready this evening, doing my laundry earlier in the day so that i could pick out the perfect outfit. i left my brunette hair in its naturally wavy state, only touching up on a few face-framing curls. 
i take time putting my shoes on and tying the laces. i make sure that my bag has everything i need. i check the time again. georgia should be here any minute now, so i make my way downstairs. 
logically, i know i shouldn't feel nervous about seeing chris again, but there is a small pit in my stomach that still won't go away. i had a good time with chris the other day. he is kind and funny and attractive, and because of that, my mind is telling me that i should be nervous to see him again. but i don't like him like that. i tell my mind to shut up, pushing those thoughts far, far away as i walk outside. 
the evening is warm and the streets are mostly quiet. i stand on the sidewalk in front of my apartment building, taking in the fresh outdoor air while i wait for georgia's car to pull up.
i don't have to wait long. a minute later, georgia's white vehicle turns the corner and slows to a stop in front of me. i hop in through the passenger-side door. 
"thanks for picking me up," i say, a phrase that begins many of our conversations. she drives me around a lot. 
"no problem." she eyes me for a moment. "you look cute." 
"thanks!" 
she arches an eyebrow. "a little too cute." 
"thanks?" 
"almost like you're putting a bit of extra effort in." 
i shrug. "nothing wrong with that, right? you never know where you could meet someone important, you know, for business. i'm sure you're the same sometimes with potential employers for your modeling, right? these are important people we're hanging out with tonight. maybe someone knows someone who knows someone, you know? never hurts to make a good first impression."