The bad girl and the dork

By alpacapoo

963K 26.2K 10.3K

I'm Jill and these are five random facts about me 1. A day spent with Nutella is a day well spent. 2. My best... More

The bad girl and the dork
Is it possible to OD on cookies?
Nutella is the answer to all your food related problems
Always have a secret food stash at various places
I call it hobo chique
I was turning on her inner lesbian
I'm the picture of sophistication
I've heard people taste like chicken
It was as if Barbie had puked in her locker
Brainfarts everywhere
She looked like a My Little Pony
I know you've been having buttproblems
I swear her ovaries just exploded
Emergency, my ass
He was such a pretty mangirl
Only two shots away from pink elephants
I'd rather lick a used tampon
He just went apeshit on me
There's my queen
Really Old Yogurt Grows Bad In Vanilla
Don't flash your underwear on the first date
I didn't know you were gonna lick the guy
Killed us with a spoon
The rest could suck my thumb
A duck sniffing a dog's hiney
We were having a Full House moment
He was writing some kinky fanfic about polar bears
I love you because you say things like fuckbuckets
I can't be in the presence of candy haters
Get your biceps out of my face
Were you guys sniffing glue earlier?
He was talking about toe fungus
Couldn't you have gotten a bloody moose
Epilogue: cover it up with Oprah's face
Bonus: Code's crazy calamities
Bonus: I was Burger King desperate
Jake: The walking cliche
Bonus: this is not a bonus
Xmas bonus: decided to drop the Jill Bomb
Anniversary bonus: Road trip
Bonus: the rock identified as a turtle

Bonus: I practically survived on coffee and M&Ms

17.6K 519 106
By alpacapoo

Chase

"Let me think." Nate said while raking his hand through his sand colored hair. We'd been thinking about a way to prank Jill but weren't doing too great.

"Blasting classical music in her car must've been the worst idea we've ever had." I complained. When Jill had picked me up when my car broke down, I'd texted Nate and he told me about that prank. It had backfired.

"You could just ask your brother." Nate told me for the tenth time this week.

"I think he's team Jill." I answered. Code knew all about Jill's pranks and he was enjoying this immensely. I didn't think my brother would help me get her back. Jill would probably notice something was up and she'd find a way to get my brother to talk. I was starting to think she might be an evil genius.

"So am I but I'm still helping you." Nate teased and I kicked his leg as a reply.

"You could always declare your undying love for her and tell her it's a prank if she freaks out." He told me after a few moments of silence.

"I should've never told you." I groaned. About a week ago, Nate and I went to a few dorm parties and we came across Jill and her friends. A few hours later they were all extremely wasted so we brought them back to Nate's dorm. There was no way they were able to get back home without any accidents.

While I was helping Jill up the stairs she was starting to fall asleep and she told me I smelled nice. She obviously didn't know what she was saying but I got flustered either way. I wasn't used to girls talking to me like that whether they're drunk or not. Nate witnessed the little encounter and I couldn't help but confess that I had been developing feelings for Jill. Nate told me it had been written all over my face so I didn't even have to tell him. I just hoped Jill hadn't noticed. I knew she'd never go for a guy like me so I was happy to just be friends with her.

"I'm just teasing you, man." Nate said and stifled a yawn.

"Let's get some coffee." I told him. We both had an exam coming up in the near future and when I was studying I practically survived on coffee and M&Ms.

"Sure." Nate replied. While we were outside Nate's dorm and heading towards my car, my head was still going in overdrive. I had way too little experience with pranks but I'd promised I'd get her back so I felt some pressure to at least pull a decent prank.

"Maybe we could prank her with coffee?" Nate suggested. He was a smart and funny guy but he sucked just as much as me in the prank department. At least Jill had friends on her side with a lot of experience in the field. Even though she was probably operating alone.

I realised I was taking this prank war a little too seriously since I was referring to it as a mission. It was probably just my brain's way to justify thinking about her.

"A prank with coffee? I need new friends." I sighed. "It's not like we can poor a bucket of coffee on her head."

Just as I was about to enter the coffeeshop, Nate's arm blocked the way. I looked up at him curiously only to see he was gaping at me with his mouth wide open and an excited glint in his eyes.

"This isn't an automatic door, you can't use the 'force' here." I deadpanned. It wouldn't be the first time. I had to admit that I wasn't entirely innocent in the matter either.

"Not that! Coffee!" He exclaimed.

"What has gotten into you? Did all the stress get to your brain?" I teased.

"Shut up and listen!" Nate said.

I sighed when he didn't continue talking right away. I was in dire need of some coffee and he was stalling.

"Right, I was kinda waiting for a reply." He chuckled. "Have you ever heard of Kopi Luwak?"

"Yes, they feed a toddy cat coffee berries and he excretes them." I replied. I'd seen a documentary about it once and I couldn't drink coffee for an entire week because it had been very disturbing.

"Make your girl a cup of coffee!" Nate pretty much shouted. I tried to ignore the part where he said 'your girl' but somehow my body decided to react to it. I ignored the jittery feeling and concentrated on the rest of Nate's sentence.

"You can't just buy civet coffee in a coffeeshop, Nate." I told him. Too bad because it would've been a great prank.

"That's why we have the internet, my friend." He patted my back and we headed back to the car only to turn around again because we'd forgotten to buy our coffee. I guess the reason why we didn't prank often was because it made us act like complete idiots.

-

"There's some leftover pizza in the fridge." I told my brother. He was going out tonight so I figured he needed something greasy since he'd probably end up getting wasted.

"Awesome." Code said and went straight to the kitchen.

"Are you hanging out with Jacob again?" I asked. I still hadn't finished my piece of pizza and this was probably the last social interaction I'd get this weekend. I only had one evening left before I had to hand in my paper about animals. I hoped I wouldn't get distracted by my memories from that trip to the zoo with Jill. At times it was hard not to just grab her by the shoulders and pour all my feelings into a kiss. I didn't have the guts though.

"Nope. Gwen and Jill." He replied right before shoving a big bite of cold pizza in his mouth. My little brother still ate the same way he did when he was three.

"Tell them I said hi." I told him. My eyes were starting to get irritated and I knew I had to take my contacts out soon or I'd look like one of Code's stoner friends.

"Them? Don't you mean Jill?" My brother teased. Although there was something in his tone that sounded curious. I guess it was weird hanging out with his friends, since we'd always had our seperate group of friends. Although he knows a few of my friends but the contact is superficial.

I had to swallow for a moment because all of a sudden my mouth seemed dry. "No, Gwen too." I managed to say.

"I guess that means you haven't made your move yet." Code muttered and went upstairs without waiting for a reply. I was relieved because I had no idea how to react to that.

Before I had time to recover from that comment, my phone went off. I clicked when I saw Nate's name flashing on my screen.

"Yes?" I answered.

"You have to come over NOW." Nate demanded.

"You know I have a paper to finish." He'd been hounding me to go to some college party but tonight was definitely out of the question.

"The coffee has arrived!" He told me. It didn't register immediately that he was talking about the Kopi Luwak since it had been two weeks when we'd ordered it online.

 "Finally! Code's going out with Jill tonight so there's always a small chance she's staying over." I didn't know if I'd actually give Jill the coffee. It did seem really mean.

"Too bad she won't be sleeping in your bed." Nate said with an obnoxious voice.

"I'm hanging up now." I pretended to be annoyed.

"Wait, are you still co-"

I figured I could extend my study break for another hour before I got back to work. If I didn't get the coffee now, there was a bigger chance I'd chicken out.

I went upstairs and wanted to knock on Code's door but to my surprise his door was open. He was playing a videogame on the floor, his back leaning against the bed. I wondered why he didn't just sit on his bed, it'd be way more comfortable.

"Wanna play?" Code asked without looking in my direction. "Come on, Buttercup, kick some ass!"

"What are you even playing?" I asked and burst out laughing when I noticed what was happening on his TV screen.

"Powerpuff girls game. Dude, it's the shit." He exclaimed. Code obviously wasn't ashamed to admit he liked playing games intended for little girls. He'd always played with whatever he wanted and had crazy ideas, even as a child. My parents thought he was gonna grow out of them but I think it has gotten worse once he got older.

It made me wonder what was happening inside of his head most of the time. He was so different from me even though we had the same parents.

"How'd you get it?" I sat down on the bed to watch him play for a little while.

"Jill. She wanted to buy me the game with Bubbles but it was sold out." Code looked at me for the first time since I got in his room to see my reaction. He definitely knew something was up. Had I been that transparant with my feelings? Or did Jill have feelings for me too?

No, she probably noticed I'd been ogling her or something equally as embarrassing.

"Weird. Anyway, I'm going to Nate's. I won't be long but I'm guessing you'll be gone before I come back." I explained.

"Probably." He shrugged.

"See you tomorrow." I said while getting up and leaving him to his Powerpuff girls game.

"Bye dork." He raised his hand but didn't bother to look again.

"Bye punk." I replied and headed out.

It was a short drive to Nate's dorm and before I knew it I had arrived. I'd been there so many times that I usually don't even remember how I got there. This was gonna be a short visit though; get in, get the coffee, get out. At least that was what I was hoping. Short encounters with Nate were a rarity. The guy just really loved talking.

"Chase! Look at this beauty." As soon as I walked through the door, he showed me a bag. I assumed the coffee was in the bag but you couldn't actually see it.

"It's ... a bag." I told him hesitantly.

"I kinda wanna try it." Nate confessed.

"Be my guest. I once saw a documentary about it so I'm good." I raised my hands.

"You're gonna give this to your future wife without tasting it first?" Nate gasped and held his hand near his chest.

"I think Code is on to something." I told my best friend while ignoring his jab.

"Did he say something?" If Nate had been like a dog, his ears would've been pointing straight up when he heard what I'd said. I suddenly had his undivided attention.

I went to his coffee maker to prepare the Kopi Luwak. "No, it's just a feeling." I answered.

"Maybe it was Jill! She could've said something to your brother." Nate suggested without losing his newfound energy.

"It has crossed my mind." I moped. "Maybe I wasn't being subtle enough." I felt so embarrassed I'd rather lock myself in my room and ignore Jill forever. I might just do that if Jill was staying over tonight.

Nate slapped the back of my head lightly. "Not like that, Debbie Downer."

I chuckled at his choice of words while waiting for the coffee to finish. It didn't smell too bad, you would never know what kind of coffee it was unless you tasted it, I guess.

"Maybe Jill has been confessing her feelings too." Nate clarified.

"I know you've only met her once or twice but do you really think Jill is the kind of person to do that?" I asked with my eyebrow raised. I was fairly certain she wouldn't do that.

"Alright, don't get sassy." Nate raised his hands in surrender.

"Here's your coffee." I told Nate and handed him a cup.

He grabbed it hesitantly. This was probably the moment when he was regretting the entire idea. He looked at the coffee and sniffed it carefully. Then he turned the cup again and repeated the same process. He gently started blowing on it.

"Maybe I should add some sugar."

"Nate, just drink the freaking cofee!" I had lost my patience the second time he started blowing on it.

"Alright, alright!" Nate sighed. He closed his eyes, scrunched his nose and very carefully took a tiny sip from the cup. After he swallowed the hot beverage he made some weird noises.

"Well?" I asked.

"It was too hot to actually taste anything. Let me try again." He said much to my dismay. And that's how I ended up staying at Nate's an entire hour instead of the five minutes I had intended.

"It's like coffee but different." Was the way he eventually described it to me.

I wasn't satisfied with that answer so I poured some of the coffee in another cup and had a taste of myself. "Interesting." I concluded after taking a few sips.

"Yes! It tastes interesting." Nate exclaimed.

"I'm gonna puke now." I told him and started rinsing my mouth excessively.

"She'll love it." Nate patted my back. "And then she'll love you."

"Yes, feces coffee is the way to a woman's heart for sure." I added sarcastically.

"One day when you're making love to her, you're gonna think about me because I came up with the coffee idea." He puffed his chest and had the facial expression of a proud parent.

"If by some miracle that would happen, you're gonna be the last person I'm gonna think about." I chuckled.

"I'm offended." He added dramatically.

"I'm disturbed." I replied. "Anyway, my essay is calling me." I sighed.

"Monkey poo, cat poo. You guys are weird." Nate laughed and I joined in.

I left Nate's dorm shortly after because I'd already lost too much time. By the time I got home, Code had already left. I made sure Bus had enough food before I locked myself in my room until midnight. I really hoped I'd finished the paper in time. A huge chunk of my grade depended on it.

I grabbed an extra bag of M&Ms because I knew I was gonna get anxious when it would near midnight. Food seemed to have a calming effect on me.

I finished my paper ten minutes before midnight. Nate had send me a text that he'd spotted Jill and it had distracted me from my work. After a quick shower I jumped into my bed and expected to fall asleep as soon as my head would hit my pillow because I was exhausted.

Obviously, I didn't. My mind was too preoccupied. I was afraid that Jill wouldn't fall for the prank but eventually I decided to go through with it anyway. The coffee had been too expensive not to waste it on this girl.

I woke up the next morning when Bus scratched my door. The bull terrier probably needed some food and a good walk so he could do his business. I quickly threw on some clothes and followed my dog downstairs. After some breakfast, I grabbed the leash so Bus could do his business. Before I got outside, I noticed Jill's shoes in the hallway.

Great, my heart was racing because of a pair of shoes. I shook the thoughts away and went on my walk with Bus. At least he wouldn't judge me for acting like a chicken.

The walk cleared my head and I felt better when I got back home. I decided to read the newspaper in the kitchen with a cup of coffee. Normal coffee, that is.

A few minutes later I heard someone come down the stairs and judging by the sound of the footsteps, it wasn't Code. Suddenly Jill appeared in the kitchen, she automatically went towards the fridge without looking around.

Even though she'd just woken up and there was a chance she was hungover, she still looked pretty. I probably looked worse even though I didn't go out last night.

"Morning." I told her with a stupid smile that seemed to appear every time I'd see her.

Jill groaned something in return and I chuckled as a reply. I hadn't pegged her for a morning person and I was definitely right.

"Want some coffee? You look like you could use some." I teased. It was a lie, she didn't look like she needed some but she did seem tired.

After a nod from Jill, I got up to make her cup of coffee. She went to sit down on the other side of the table. After some small talk I presented her with the cup. Obviously she didn't drink from it immediately because it was still too hot. I was getting very impatient but I had to keep my face neutral.

While she was waiting for her coffee to cool down a little, she talked about seeing Nate yesterday. The sun was hitting her face which made the red in her hair shine brighter and it made the green flecks in her hazel eyes pop. I had to concentrate on what she was saying because I'd been enjoying the sight in front of me.

I stopped breathing for a second when she finally took a sip from her coffee. Her eyebrows were furrowed slightly. She did that whenever she was thinking about something. She knew. She knew something was up with the coffee.

After another sip she put the cup down and looked at me intently. "What did you do to this coffee?" She asked me.

I forced my face to keep a neutral expression. "Nothing, it's supposed to taste like that." I told her casually.

"What does that even mean?" Jill asked. Then her expression changed and I knew she figured out I was pulling a prank on her. I enjoyed seeing her thought process.

"It's Kopi Luwak." I finally confessed. I caught the playful tone in my voice and I assumed she'd noticed too.

Again, Jill appeared to be in deep thought. I was glad she'd recognised the name because it wouldn't be as funny if I had to explain to her exactly what she'd been drinking. I caught myself staring at her with an amused expression until she suddenly gasped and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Chase you dick!" She exclaimed and ran towards the sink. After she told me she was gonna brush her teeth, she ran upstairs. My first instinct was to laugh but a part of me was kinda worried because she'd reacted as if she was angry. I really hoped I hadn't offended her, but knowing Jill I knew the chances were slim.

After I cleared the kitchen table I went to the living room and tried to watch some TV. It had been a solid ten minutes since Jill had disappeared upstairs. I started thinking she got distracted by Code and wasn't coming back. The irrational part of me was afraid I'd really pissed her off.

A sense of relief washed over me as I heard the patter of her footsteps on the stairs. I burst out in laughter when she glared at me playfully.

She took a seat next to me and complimented me on my prank.

"This isn't over Chase. I'm gonna get you back." She pointed at me and tried to look threatening but I had the upperhand right now and I was enjoying it. She'd pulled some great pranks but I was fairly certain this one had topped them all. I would worry about her revenge later.

"Bring it on." I said with a cocky smile. Jill laughed, I knew she liked seeing my more playful side and she had the ability to bring it out in me.

I suddenly felt a shift in the atmosphere when I noticed I'd been staring at Jill but to my surprise she was doing the same thing. Her knee was touching my leg and I was aware of everything she was doing to me.

Before I knew what was happening, I inched closer to her even though we'd been sitting right next to each other. Jill didn't move away but she didn't come closer either. Luckily I was too distracted by her to think about what I was doing because I would've chickened out otherwise.

Our faces were only a few inches apart and right at the moment I was gonna close the gap, she beat me to the punch and kissed me. Her lips were soft and her breath was minty because she'd been brushing her teeth vigorously a few minutes ago.

Without breaking the kiss, she moved on top of me. The way she was straddling me, made me go insane and I quickly took control of the kiss. My hands tangled in her hair and hers were clinging onto my shirt for dear life.

My tongue asked for entrance and she obliged immediately. I nearly lost it when a small moan escaped from her and my hands trailed down her spine and landed on her waist. I loved feeling her body and I swear I was falling for this girl way too fast.

I got a little distracted by the little bead in the center of her tongue. It didn't take me long to remember she had a tongue piercing and I got acquainted with it using my own tongue. Her hands travelled to the back of my neck and a low groan escaped when she slightly pulled my hair.

I was definitely on edge. I wanted more of her, I wanted everything. I had to remind myself that this was the first time I was kissing her. I had no idea a first kiss could be so fiery. My other first kisses had been a little awkward because you're still getting to know what the other person wants. With Jill, it was like our bodies automatically adjusted to each other.

When we finally broke the kiss, we were both panting as if we'd been running a marathon. We were still looking at each other. I was trying to figure out the next step. Words would seem ridiculous after a kiss like that. I wanted another one.

"You're lucky I just brushed my teeth three times." Jill broke the silence. I chuckled. I was glad she was the one to break the moment.

"I am." I told her. I did feel lucky. I hadn't recovered from the kiss yet and it showed in my voice. Jill looked at my lips and then back at me. She suddenly went to sit back on the couch. She'd been straddling me this entire time but I wasn't complaining. She could sit on my lap any time she wanted.

"We should talk about this though." She said. My head was still rushing. I knew she was right but I was already proud that I'd had the courage to finally kiss her. I didn't know if I had enough courage left to confess my feelings for her.

"Just give me a minute to collect my thoughts." I told her when I caught myself looking at her lips again. They were slightly red and I loved that I'd done that to her.

"So." I said after a minute of silence. The silence had been killing me and it seemed like I was only stalling the inevitable. Why was this so hard?

"I'll start." She told me and I felt relieved. I wish I had her confidence. She was never afraid to speak up and I listened to every word she had to say to me. "You know I don't just kiss random people. It's obvious that I like you."

I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing. Why would she go for a dork like me? I'd seen her last boyfriend and even though he appeared to be a jerk, he was probably the opposite of me.

I started speaking when I noticed I hadn't said anything to her. This must've been just as nerve wracking for her as it was for me. "It wasn't obvious actually. So I'm glad you're being this forward about it." I replied. It hadn't been obvious at all.

"Right. Well, you know me, I don't sugarcoat. Honestly, I've been wanting to tell you ever since the zoo." She told me. I couldn't help but think about what Nate had said about the monkey poo and the cat poo. I guess we really were weird. I took a deep breath because I knew it was my time to tell her how I felt. Even though I knew she liked me, it still didn't make it much easier.

"I like you too. A lot. And I've been thinking about it for weeks." I said to Jill. I hoped I hadn't come off too strong. "I've been torturing Nate with it." I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

The conversation started flowing again after our awkward confessions and she agreed for me to take her on a date. We were going next weekend. At first I wanted to suggest this weekend, even though it was Saturday but it seemed too much. I guess I could wait another week.

"And if you play your cards right you might get another kiss next weekend." She teased.

"You know how to motivate me." I grinned. At this point I'd do pretty much anything for another kiss like that. To my surprise she gave me a kiss on my cheek before she went back upstairs to Code.

Code.

I wondered how he felt about all of this. He knew something was up but now there was a chance things could really change between Jill and me.

A few hours later Jill left and I figured now was the time to go talk to Code. There was a big chance Jill had already told him but it felt like my duty to talk about it since he's my brother. When I entered his room, he was sitting in the same position as always; with his back leaning against the bed and playing a videogame.

"Can I play?" I asked him and he handed me one of the controllers. I had to suppress a chuckle when I noticed he was playing his girly game again. At least I was gonna find out what was so entertaining about it.

"Just say it." Code said after five minutes of playing. It was stupid to admit but I was really enjoying the game intended for little girls. "I can almost hear you think and it's throwing me off my game."

"Code, this game is so easy you could play it in your sleep." I rolled my eyes.

"Dude, stop being such a dork." He told me. His voice was still light so I knew this was just his way of getting it out of me. I figured Jill had already told him.

"We kissed." I replied.

Code paused the game and looked at me with an expression I couldn't read. "Well, I'm not gonna ask you how it was." He scrunched his nose.

"We're going on a date next weekend but if this is too uncomfortable for you, I'll cancel. Just say the word." I told him earnestly.

"Jill on a date?" He snorted. "I'd love to see that."

"Seriously, is this okay with you?" I asked him. I needed an honest answer from him.

"I'm not gonna lie, this is a little weird for me but it's not like I didn't see it coming." Code elaborated. "Usually I'd say if you hurt Jill, I'll castrate you but you're my brother so... I guess you can keep your balls. Should I give Jill a warning too? I'll tell her I'll poop on her face if she hurts you. That sounds fair, right?" Code pondered. He was actually being serious about this.

"Whatever makes you happy." I chuckled.

"Just don't mess it up. You're my brother but she's family too and there's no way in hell I'm choosing sides if this goes wrong. You're just gonna have to stay together." He shot me an eerie look. "Forever." He whispered.

"Alright, you creep." I ruffled his hair until he slapped my hand away. We then proceeded to play the game in silence.

"Dork." He muttered.

---

A (huge) bonus chapter for you because The bad girl and the dork hit 150k reads! I wanted to write a chapter in our favorite dork's POV and it turned out to be a long ass chapter, oops. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this and maybe I'll do another bonus chapter when we hit another big milestone.

Thanks for all the support and let me know what you think about this little surprise!

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