Hamilton - The Drarry Musical

Cabinet Battle #1

(By Lin-Manuel Miranda, more powerful than the president )

[McGONAGALL]

Ladies and gentlemen, you coulda been anywhere in the world tonight, but you're here with us in London. Are you ready for a cabinet meeting??? The issue on the table: Mr. Malfoy's plan to reduce reparations on Death Eater families and allow them to have office. Mr. Weasley, you have the floor, sir!

[WEASLEY]

'Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité.'

We fought for these ideals; we shouldn't settle for less

These are wise words, enterprising men quote 'em

Don't act surprised, you guys, cuz I support 'em

[WEASLEY/GRANGER]

Oww

[WEASLEY]

But Malfoy forgets

His plan would have us forget war crimes

Now, place your bets as to who that benefits:

The core of what Malfoy, a former Death Eater, represents

[MALFOY]

Not true! I never was one!

WEASLEY

Ooh, if the shoe fits, wear it

If your family was for Death Eaters-

They should bear the cost! 

Yeah, until their debts are paid,

I'm afraid, we should keeping taxing them

To pay for our pain!

In the war, we fought and died

They wanted nothing but to kill muggleborns.

You just wanna forgive that!

This financial plan is an outrageous insult

It's too much forgiveness for any man to understand

Stand with me in the land of the equality

And pray we never see Malfoy's leniency

Look, when Death Eaters stripped our rights,

we got frisky, imagine what gon' happen

when you let them get off scot-free?

[McGONAGALL]

Thank you, Head of International Relations Weasley.

Head Malfoy, your response?

[MALFOY]

Ronald. That was a real nice declaration

Welcome to the present, 

we're running a real nation

Would you like to join us? or stay mellow

Doin' whatever the hell it is you do in the Burrow?

If we forgive the debts, the economy gets

A new line of credit, a financial diuretic

How do you not get it?

If we bring them back in, those who didn't fight,

The country gets an economic boost

You'd rather send them abroad?

Do you think that they will stay here?

Hey neighbor, 

keep paying debts you didn't accrue

Or move out? They'll take their business elsewhere!

Yeah, keep ranting. We'll lose the economy, infrastructure

Or worse, face another war!

And that's another thing, Mr. Age of Enlightenment

Don't lecture me about the war, you didn't fight in it!

You think I'm frightened of you, man?

We almost died in a trench

While you were off getting high with the French!

Ronald Weasley, always hesitant with the Minister

Reticent-there isn't a plan he doesn't jettison

Granger, you're mad as a hatter, girl, take a chill pill

Damn, we're in worse shape than before the war!

Sittin' there saying that I supported Voldemort?

Fuck you, turn around, bend over,

I'll show you where my shoe fits

[McGONAGALL]

Excuse me! 

Weasley, Granger, take a walk! 

Malfoy, take a walk! 

We'll reconvene after a brief recess. 

Malfoy!

[MALFOY]

Ma'am?

[McGONAGALL]

A word

[GRANGER]

You don't have the votes

[WEASLEY/GRANGER]

You don't have the votes

[WEASLEY]

Aha-ha-ha ha!

[WEASLEY/GRANGER]

You're gonna need Wizengamot approval

and you don't have the votes

[WEASLEY]

Such a blunder

sometimes it makes me wonder

why I even bring the thunder

[GRANGER]

Why he even brings the thunder...

[McGONAGALL]

You wanna pull yourself together?

[MALFOY]

I'm sorry, 

these order members are birds of a feather

[McGONAGALL]

Young man, I'm in the Order,

so watch your mouth

[MALFOY]

So we let the Wizengamot,

be held hostage by them?

[McGONAGALL]

You need the votes

[MALFOY]

No, we need bold strokes.

We need this plan!

[McGONAGALL]

No, you need to convince more folks

[MALFOY]

Granger won't talk to me, 

that's a nonstarter

[McGONAGALL]

Aw, winning was easy, young man.

Governing's harder

[MALFOY]

They're being intransigent

[McGONAGALL]

You have to find a compromise

[MALFOY]

But they don't have a plan,

they just hate mine!

[McGONAGALL]

Convince them otherwise

[MALFOY]

What happens if I don't get 

Wizengamot approval?

[McGONAGALL]

I imagine they'll call for your removal

1[MALFOY]

Ma'am-

[McGONAGALL]

Figure it out, Draco.

That's an order from your commander