"You were my rock Jill. You believed in me and you made me feel good about myself. I couldn't tell you. I couldn't bear the thought of you being disappointed in me." He started telling.
                              
Look where it got him. I was beyond disappointed.
                              
"To-". I stopped talking when he raised his hand. He wasn't finished yet.
                              
"You know how my dad was when I decided to quit school." I did remember.
                              
Tobin had been serious about his band. He quit school because he hated everything about it, he lived for his music. He'd always had a rocky relationship with his dad so when Tobin told him the news shit had hit the fan. In the end they came to a compromise that he'd support Tobin for a certain amount of time. After that he needed to find a job to support himself.
                              
"Time was up. He kicked me out. I was having trouble finding a job. I mean, who wants a high school drop out anyway?" He breathed a laugh. I just looked at him, silently urging him to go on.
                              
He went to sit down on the ground and I followed his lead.
                              
"Jacob knew a guy." He continued with his 온라인카지노게임. I already didn't like where this was heading.
                              
"He could get me a job. I took it, I was happy I'd found something. I didn't feel like a complete failure anymore." He ran a hand through his hair and played with his lip piercing. He always did that when he got nervous.
                              
"How legal was this job?" I asked. I had a pretty good idea what it was.
                              
He looked at me pleadingly. "It was supposed to be temporary. Some innocent drug dealing every once in a while and it paid pretty well."
                              
I snorted. Innocent and drug dealing in the same sentence.
                              
"I couldn't tell you, you would've been mad." He said.
                              
"Hell yes I would've been mad! Fuck, Tobin." I was getting worked up. What kind of a friend was Jacob anyway?
                              
Tobin smiled a little at my anger.
                              
"So you started selling drugs and became distant because you didn't want me to be disappointed in you." I did a quick recap. "And it didn't occur to you to just confess when I was breaking up with you?"
                              
Men.
                              
"I... No." Tobin said uncomfortably.
                              
"It kinda went downhill from there. Jacob's guy was happy with my work so I started dealing heavier stuff. Sometimes the buyers would ask me to taste the products." I had a feeling those buyers wouldn't ask politely. I'd seen the movies.
                              
"You're on crack?" I looked him over. His bloodshot eyes, he clearly hadn't been sleeping, he looked a little twitchy. A little bit on edge. The guy needed his fix. I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it earlier.
                              
He nodded. The ground was still the most amazing place on the world. The guy couldn't muster the courage to look at me.
                              
"Okay. Tell me about the stalking." Tobin flinched at that word. He needed to know that's how it felt. That's what it was. Stalking.
                              
"I couldn't stop thinking about you. Everything was better when I had you. I need you and I hate you for it. I hate that you left me. I hate that you moved on. I hate that your fucking boyfriend is waiting for you in the car. What does that loser have that I don't?" Tobin balled his fists, a vein popped up on his forehead. He only got that when he was angry. Yet his voice sounded pleading and desperate.
                              
Well, he doesn't have a drug problem for starters.
                              
I bit my lip so that comment wouldn't slip out. I had no idea what would happen if I'd fuel his anger. Honestly, I was getting scared.
                              
"We were perfect Jill! We love each other. You stupid slut! Why? Why did you have to screw everything up?" He shouted. His face was getting unnaturally red.
                              
"Loved." I said softly.
                              
"What?" Tobin asked. I could tell he was trying to keep his cool.
                              
"Loved. We loved each other. Past tense." I explained.
                              
Tobin looked at me and I could tell the exact moment where his heart broke into a million pieces. The pain was so evident on his face that I almost couldn't bear to look at him any longer. At the same time I couldn't help myself but to look at him.
                              
"You love him, don't you?" He said 'him' as if he was talking about toe fungus.
                              
"Yes." The word came out as a whisper. I was surprised that any sound came out at all.
                              
"You loved me first. You could do it again." Tobin surprised me with his bitterness.
                              
"If you do something to him. If you send that tape, I will never forgive you." I said earnestly.
                              
"Come back and I won't." He had an unfamiliar glint in his eyes. The guy was unstable. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to get away from him.
                              
When the words he had just said registered another feeling filled my entire being.
                              
Anger.
                              
"You want me to be in an unhappy relationship with you? You don't love me. You don't do that to people you love Tobin! Hell, maybe you never even loved me in the first place. Do you even know what love is? Have the drugs screwed with your brain? You need help." By the end I was breathing heavily.
                              
Tobin started to pull on his hair.
                              
"Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!" He yelled.
                              
I hadn't noticed I'd stopped breathing until my lungs were begging for oxygen. I don't know how long  we sat there opposite each other, not saying a word. It could've been half an hour, it could've been a minute.
                              
The anger had disappeared as fast as it came. I could see the anger had drained Tobin too, his twitching had gotten worse.
                              
"I could be part of your life again." I suggested. I didn't really know where I was going with this.
                              
He turned his head so fast to look at me, he must've been seeing stars for a second.
                              
"You'd do that?" Tobin asked incredulously.
                              
"I'm willing to make you a deal. I'll be part of your life again, as a friend, if you sort your life out." I put the emphasis on the word friend. That part needed to be clear.
                              
"How? Jill, I need money, I need a job." He was getting hesitant, which gave my hope.
                              
"Find a new job and get clean. Then you can come and find me. No more stalking, no more threats." I put my hand forward so we could shake on it.
                              
He took my hand but didn't shake it. I didn't feel comfortable with him holding my hand but I guessed he needed it right now.
                              
"Easier said than done." He muttered.
                              
"You can do it." I smiled a little. The guy I once knew was hidden, but not lost.
                              
I stood up and Tobin did the same. I was ready to say goodbye.
                              
Tobin took a look at my car. Chase was looking at us, he had been the entire time.
                              
Suddenly Tobin took a step forward and looked me intently in the eye.
                              
"I will get you back Jill. And if I can't have you, no one can." The evil glint in his eyes was back. Just when I thought I'd made progress with him, he had to go and screw it up. With that said, he left.
                              
My heart was beating in my chest. Tobin got in the car with Jacob and Tasha and I felt relieved that the conversation was over.
                              
I started walking to Chase again, I almost ran to him. Chase was safe.
                              
I could hear Jacob's car from behind me and the last thing I heard when I fell to the ground was someone calling my name.
                              
Then everything went black.