Colliding Love - Tucker Billi...

"Hey Tamiko," I say before I leave our weekly briefing about my press appearances, which includes a list of talking points for interviews. Any talk about a trade, and I'm supposed to fluff them off, which is the approach I'd prefer to take, so at least I'm on the same wavelength as team communications. "If I had a problem I need fixed, who do I go to?"

"Me, silly," she says with a laugh.

"I don't think this is the kind of problem you'd want to deal with."

"Is it illegal?"

I just look at her and wait.

"Fuck, do you need a lawyer?"

"Not yet, but I might if I can't get a handle on Dalton Worthington."

"Dalton? Is this about the trade?"

"It is not."

She gives me an assessing look. "He's so suave I knew there had to be a dark side. Was he a dick to Sawyer?"

"I just need to know how I can deal with him in a way that won't get me in trouble. And, I'm sure it goes without saying, we never had this conversation."

"If we were having this conversation I'd tell you the only person on the island with enough clout to deal with Dalton in any real way is Celia Tucker. But," she says with a warning glance, "if we were really having this conversation I would never suggest Celia."

"Because Sawyer isn't speaking to her?"

"Only Ava is speaking to her, and I honestly think that's probably more about the fact that Ava has a kidney Celia might need. Brutal, but true. Ava's never been the favorite, but she is now. The two of them are thick as thieves."

"If Celia can help Sawyer—"

"Sawyer would not forgive you. If you knew the family hi온라인카지노게임, you'd know."

"She's told me some of it."

"It's not even just the family hi온라인카지노게임. Celia is notorious around the island. Her help comes with strings. Honestly, I might go so far as to say concrete shoes. It might seem like the kind of help you want, but what you end up owing her might be a lot."

"Other than Celia, then?" I ask.

"King Alexander. That's the kind of weight you need. Devious or really fucking powerful. Last I heard, the king's not available unless it's an emergency. This second pregnancy is apparently kicking Queen Aurora's ass, and there is no one in the world that man love more than his wife. It's his only endearing quality."

That makes me laugh. Having met King Alexander a few times, I didn't mind the arrogant directness all that much. He's almost literally King Shit—might as well own the wealth, power, and entitlement.

"Dalton's not going to risk his political career. He campaigned hard to get on the Advisory Council. As long as you two avoid him, I'm sure whatever it is will blow over."

I grab the door handle and take a deep breath. Under normal circumstances, that might be true. But if I get traded, he tries to blackmail Sawyer, and I didn't do everything in my power to stop that before I leave, I'd never forgive myself. She deserves her freedom from that prick.

"Just remember after the game," Tamiko says when I open the door, "that we're not commenting on trade rumors."

"I heard you." But I'm not sure I'm going to listen.

***

We lose to the Michigan Moose 4-2, and while I pick up a goal and an assist, I let my frustration get the best of me after the game. When a reporter asks about my performance versus the team's I tell them that I'm getting tired of every other line acting like spectators instead of players on the ice—letting the action happen around them instead of making plays. Within two minutes of the reporter leaving, Tamiko texts me to say she may have preferred when I just grunted at questions.

Fuck it. I just told the truth. Both Tamiko and Sawyer said they wanted me to be my authentic self in interviews, and I warned them they didn't actually want that. Well, here we are. I'm telling it like it is. When I was gushing about Sawyer, it was cool, but taking my teammates to task in public isn't.

Cool. Cool.

By the time I've showered and changed, I've had enough time to decompress, and I realize that while—yes, we played shitty as a whole team—my frustration is more about the possibility of a trade. Jonathan, Sawyer's dad, said he'd only go to bat to keep me if we made the playoffs. The prick told me right before the game, and we needed to win this game to be in charge of our own fate. Now, we need a domino effect to happen with other teams to push us into the last playoff spot. The fact that we beat Michigan in pre-season is even more of a piss off.

Not even seeing Sawyer when I exit the dressing rooms eases the tension coursing through me. Right now, her fate is as tied to the team's outcome as mine is, and I fucking hate it. All of it.

"So..." Sawyer says, clearly gauging my mood, and I hate that she even feels she has to.

I roll my shoulders to try to shrug off the shitty game and the awful circumstances, and the fact that my life feels out of control in a way I can't sustain.

"It's fine," I say, and I give her a tight smile before I settle my hand on the small of her back. "Is Chayton out yet?"

"We're still going to dinner?" She eyes me. "He scored two of those goals."

"I was there, thanks," I say. Sitting on the bench during all four goals, which makes me both happy and furious.

"Sorry," she says, and she rises on her toes to kiss my cheek.

Breathing her in immediately resets my nervous system. She's the best cure for my mental health, and I draw her into a tight hug.

"Fuck, I love you," I whisper. "You've got no idea, doc. No idea how much I love you."

"That good, huh?"

"You in my arms? Cures anything. Can't convince me otherwise."

"Do you think I can put that on my resume? Super hugger."

"No," I say, my voice gruff. "There'll never be any need to apply for another position anywhere."

"Dude," Chayton says, coming down the hallway toward us. "Not sure you should have let all those words out of your mouth in that interview. Were the rest of the guys still talking to you?"

"Yeah, well," I say, stepping back from Sawyer but keeping my hand on her lower back. The contact grounds me, and I definitely need that right now. "Auston'll talk to them. This season has been bullshit."

"Definitely a revelation," Chayton says, walking with us down the rest of the hallway to the exit. "Never knew you could play so well. Never knew the rest of a team could suck so bad."

"Stunning, isn't it?" I say.

"Baffling." He gives me the side-eye. "I mean, you must be thinking coaching is an issue at this point."

"Has crossed my mind," I admit. "The team needs big changes." I don't say that I hope I'm not one of them because I haven't told Sawyer how I'm really feeling. The longer the season goes, the more frustrated I am with the team, but I don't know if that frustration is actually the team or how much weight—beyond the normal—each game has taken on.

"Hard to put your fate in someone else's hands," Chayton says. "I've heard the rumors. Oregon?"

"Maybe," I say.

"Oregon," Sawyer says. "Why Oregon?"

"Can we not talk about this?" I ask. "It's all just rumors until the deal's on the table."

We get into the car with my driver and Chayton in the front, Sawyer and I in the back. The drive to the restaurant where Tamiko booked us a private room is laced with idle chatter between Chayton and Sawyer. They both know me well enough to sense my mood, and even though I hate that I'm in one, I can't quite snap out of it yet.

When she slides her hand along my thigh, another rush of tension floods out. Her touch really is magic.

At the restaurant, we get seated and ordered before Sawyer excuses herself to go to the bathroom.

"When are you going to ask her to marry you?" Chayton says with a teasing grin.

"Marry me?" I say with a laugh.

"You can't tell me you haven't thought about it. I've known you as long as anyone, and I've never seen you like this. You got fucking hearts and stars in your eyes when you look at her. Don't even recognize you. And you're all outside with her—PDA, comments in the press, photo ops."

"The press is just part of the game," I say with a shrug, reluctant to tell him everything that's been going on in my brain that I haven't been allowing outside.

"Nah," Chayton says, waving me off. "You've thought about it."

"In like ten years. If I was with her ten years from now, yeah. One hundred percent. I'd already have a ring."

"Ten years? That's your timeline?"

"What's yours?"

"Tomorrow," Chayton says with a chuckle. "Summer—the girl I've been seeing since the start of the season—she's the one. I'm locking that shit down."

"What if you get traded?"

"She'll come with."

"Yeah, well," I say. "Sawyer won't. Bellerive or bust. She won't even admit that we could date beyond this season."

"She's still got you on the clock?"

"Yep," I say, and I take a drink of my water while Chayton sips his beer. "She's had a boundary pusher in the past, so I don't want to be that guy." Even though I really want to be that guy. "And I do see ten years as being a logical timeline for me. Marriage, kids, a family—that requires attention. My focus is on hockey. Scoring title. The cup, at least once. A divided Logan isn't good for a family, and I'm sure it's not good for a team, for those marks I want to hit."

"I'd be fun if we were raising our kids together," Chayton says. "Something to consider. Grow our extended family." He gives me another teasing grin.

"Speaking of extended family," I say, shifting in my seat. "I haven't said anything, but all this press with Sawyer brought some family out of the woodwork."

"Finally!" Chayton claps his hands. "You happy?"

I'm filling Chayton in on the letter writing request that hasn't brought forth a result yet when Sawyer returns to the table.

"You haven't really said how you're feeling about it," Chayton says, sitting back in his chair as the waiter delivers our food.

"Conflicted," I admit. "They share my DNA, but I don't know them. They don't know me. Blood doesn't make family." Then I glance at Sawyer, who's run her hand across my shoulders. "But being around Sawyer's family has made me realize that I might like the messy a bit more than I thought I would. It would be nice to belong."

"Man, you've always belonged with me and Dad. From the time we ended up on the same line, we were soul brothers, even if we weren't blood brothers."

"First time I ever felt part of something," I agree, but instead of looking at Chayton, I make eye contact with Sawyer beside me. Maybe Chayton and his dad were the first people who made me feel like I could belong, but being with Sawyer is the first time where all those questions about belonging don't even exist. With her, it just is. I don't wonder; I know. I belong to her, and she belongs to me.

There's nothing I wouldn't do to keep her safe, even if it ruins the belonging I've found with her in the process. If I have to sacrifice my happiness to secure hers, that's what I'll do.

What do you think he'd do to secure Sawyer's happiness?

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