Since I was a kid, making it into the World Hockey League was the ultimate goal. No relationship could match my first love, and after my rough childhood, I wasn't putting my heart on the line.
When Bellerive makes a successful bid to move the Califo...
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Unlike in Bellerive, our game in New York has lots of press. Every major sports reporter is here to witness the Bellerive Bullets first pre-season game on American soil. And fuck me if we don't play like absolute garbage. And not even hot garbage. We're the bag ripped open, seagulls feasting on our remains kind of garbage.
Reporters swarm the locker room the minute the game is over, and the buzzing comments between them about the Bullets being shut out are unbelievably annoying. That's right. Not one fucking goal even trickled past the New York goalie.
"Bit of a rocky start to the pre-season," one of the reporters from the World Hockey Network comments as he thrusts a microphone in my face. "What do you think was the biggest difference between this game and the one in Bellerive?"
"We just didn't play well," I say, and Tamiko, who's been trying to coach me into being more personable, more likeable on screen, is full on cringing somewhere. She wouldn't like that answer. Not a good sound bite. Not reflective of who I am. And probably a thousand other things.
"The team doesn't have the resources or players didn't step up..." he says.
He's leading me, which is never a good sign. After our home ice game against Michigan, I wanted to talk, could have talked for hours, but tonight's game just didn't run through my veins like the other night.
"It's the atmosphere," I say. "New York fans don't have the heart that Bellerive has. If you'd been in Bellerive the other night, you'd have heard the game from every corner of the island—not just the arena—the whole island. They're passionate about us, and we didn't let them down. We need to take that attitude on the road." Which isn't the only necessity for these road games, but it's the only one I can say out loud.
"You're happy with the move, then?"
Ah, fuck. Now I have to tiptoe around this. "The fans are fantastic, and they want us to be successful. What more could we ask for?" My list is long, but he doesn't need to know that.
Seemingly content, the media scrum moves to Auston, who's the assistant captain, and had a better game than me.
My shoulders are tight, and as I pack up my gear, I can't help looking forward to getting back on the island and going straight to Sawyer for a treatment. Of course, if she was traveling with the team like I want, I wouldn't have to go running to her. She'd already be here. I could get a treatment from Ken, the physiotherapist who travels with us, but I wouldn't want to mess with Sawyer's process and results.
On the plane, Radek settles in beside me while I scroll through my phone. A text pops up from Tamiko telling me I get "all the gold stars" for my answer in the scrum today about Bellerive. It was an honest answer, which made it easy. The hard part is losing and not being able to think quickly enough to have a direction to spin the loss in. I got lucky that one came to me in the moment.
My phone rings, and my manager's name pops up. I swipe my thumb across the screen and hold it to my ear.
