There a few misconceptions about orgasms for women that float around thanks to the porn industry and romance novels.
1. 60% of women will NOT orgasm due to penetration. It does NOTHING for most women. Feels a little good, but not the way to make them curl their toes and grab hte headboard. This is why women have a clitoris. It's that little nub or button hidden in the lips between her legs. It is VERY sensitive
2. Porn is pretty much a really bad lie. Sadly, with the current state of sexual education, most curious kids turn to it for edification. There is so much more to sex and sexual stimulation than insert, remove, repeat. Your sexual organs are not a USB stick. They are so much more than that.
3. Turning on a woman is no where NEAR as quick as in the movies or novels. It takes on average 10-15 MINUTES of not just physical arousal, but mental arousal too.
4. the largest erogenous zone (sexual start button) is the human mind. For women AND men. The second most important one is skin. Anywhere. These are not obvious ones but using them right will make a good time for all. It's not just about friction. If it was, we'd all be strike anywhere matches and we're not.
5. Only about 6% of all women are able to gush at all let alone with any regularity. It is nothing to be ashamed of when it happens, this is your body's way of saying that it REALLY liked whatever it was you were doing and can you do it again please. It is likely messy too, which can be a draw back, but often works as a stimulant for your sexual partner.
6. men can orgasm multiple times. However, sexual climax causes the male brain to release chemicals that make him sleepy. This is so that he can recharge his body and go again. The likelihood of multiple orgasms in men is lower than for women, hampered also by the hypersensitivity that occurs in the male gentalia after orgasm.
7. There is nothing wrong with sex that does not end in a climax. Sometimes, you just don't climax. THAT'S NATURAL. The body is like 'oh, this is good. I like this.' and even though it feels good, it's like the orgasm decides to play hide and seek REALLY WELL. This is not the same as having sex until you climax and not caring if your partner does. Men- you have an easier time climaxing than women. Women- most men have NO CLUE what feels good to women. Show them, tell them. Play with each other's bodies, play with your own body. It's a lot of fun, not a test.
8. Orgasms can't tell time. They can happen really quickly sometimes. Unexpectedly fast. This isn't something to be embarrased of. Too often men are mocked for being fast to finish. That's not cool. You have nothing to be ashamed of for your body's enjoyment. If it takes you and hour and a half of constant work to climax or if it takes you one or two little touches doesn't matter. What does matter is that you and your parnter enjoy the experience together. Even if you have had your climax and can't again doesn't mean you can't help your partner have theirs. By now you should know what they like. Help them.
9. you know that rush you get when you listen to really good music or watch a particularily effective movie? That's called a skin orgasm. For those of you that have yet to experience the bigger sister of those, that's only a small fraction of what it can feel like. There's a reason people are a little obsessed with sex.
