Love & All Things Broken

***Trigger warning

This chapter contains depictions of parental kidnapping, child endangerment, and substance abuse. It includes scenes of a child in distress trying to contact help. Readers who may be sensitive to themes involving missing children, family trauma, or addiction may wish to proceed with caution.

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Detective Morrison was hanging up from another call, and his expression had shifted to something I couldn't quite read.

"What is it?" I asked immediately.

"Good news and less good news. The good news is that we have another confirmed sighting—a McDonald's about thirty minutes from the gas station—they went in and got what I'm assuming is dinner. One of the staff noticed them when they came in. Says he'd seen the Amber Alert we sent out in the area."

"That's good, right? Did he do anything?"

"It is good. But he said Jessica seemed 'agitated'—she was shaky and... I don't want you to worry, but he said she was yelling at Macy. Apparently, he tried to make small talk with Macy, Jessica cut him off abruptly and hurried Macy back to the car."

Felicity whispered, "could she know we're looking for her?" My stomach plummeted.

"Honestly, I don't think so. If she did, she wouldn't be using her credit cards. You mentioned your lawyer said she agreed for you to see her tomorrow. She may think she is in the clear for the night."

I stood up abruptly, pacing to the window. How can this be happening? I need to do something! "We have to find them—find Macy—now."

"We're doing everything we can. We have units moving into the area. I truly believe it won't be long."

He paused, looked me in the eyes and continued, "Amber Alerts are very effective. Between the alert, the checkpoints, and the teams we have moving to get to her, we will find her—and I don't use those words lightly. She's driving a specific car with a specific license plate, and she has an eleven-year-old with her. She is not invisible."

The Detective's phone buzzed again. "Morrison—What? Can you patch it through? I'm with her dad now." Morrison walked over to the desk phone in the room and started rattling off information. I was freaking out—I didn't know what was happening!

The phone rang and he answered on speaker. "Morrison"

"Detective Morrison, as I said, I have a 911 call from Macy Barrett who is asking for her father."

I ran to the phone, "I'm here!"

"Put her through," Morrison responded.

"Patching her through now. Our calls are recorded, per protocol I will remain on the line with you. Macy, can you still hear me?"

"Yes," my little girl's voice whispered.

I fell to the floor on my knees, my face as close to the phone as I could get it. Felicity dropped to the floor beside me, wrapping her arms around me. "Baby, I'm here. Daddy's here." I was trying to remain calm and keep her from hearing me cry. She needed me to be strong for her right now, she didn't need me to fall apart.

"Daddy!" I could hear her excitement even through her whisper. Felicity's hand flew to her mouth, tears streaming down her face as she heard Macy's voice.

"Baby, where are you? Are you okay?" I croaked out, my hands clenched into fists against the floor.

"I'm okay, daddy. Mom's acting weird. We're at the Sleepy Inn but I don't know where. It was dark and there's lots of trucks around us."

Detective Morrison was on his cell repeating the information to someone quietly.

"Where's your mom, honey?"

"She's in the bathroom. I think she's taking a shower. Daddy, I stole someone's phone. I thought I'd try to text you but I couldn't open the phone. But it let me call 911. I'm sorry!" She started to cry.

"Don't cry, honey. Don't be sorry. You did good kiddo."

"The shower stopped," she whispered. "I took too long trying to call!"

"It's okay, honey. It's going to be okay. Daddy's going to come get you, okay?"

"Okay daddy."

"Macy?" Detective Morrison said softly but firmly. "This is Detective Morrison. I'm a friend of your dad's and I'm just helping him out right now, okay?

"Okay," she responded slowly.

"Honey, can you leave the phone on and hide it somewhere? Somewhere your mom won't see?"

"I think so?"

"That's good, honey. Hide it somewhere she won't look for it. We're going to stay on the line but we're going to be really quiet so your mom won't hear. If anything happens that makes you uncomfortable, you can say something out loud so we can hear you. Sound okay to you?"

"Yeah, okay. I can do that. I'll put it upside down on the floor under the bed so you can't see the light."

"That's a great idea."

"I hear her coming."

"Okay—quickly hide it. You did so good, sweetheart." I swallowed hard, trying to hold it together.

"I love you, Macy," I called out, just as I heard the phone sliding on the carpet.

Detective Morrison pressed the mute button on the phone and stood up straight.

Felicity embraced me, kissing my forehead and my cheeks—holding me. "She's going to be okay. She is a smart kid. Look at what she's done."

"How did we even get here? It's surreal—like I'm watching someone else's life. This can't be real. Things like this don't really happen!"

Morrison spoke up, "Unfortunately, you'd be surprised how often these kinds of things happen. Amber Alerts exist for a reason. It's a painful fact that abductions happen much too frequently. Getting to hear Macy's voice, having that phone on, we're talking about miraculous stuff here. They traced the phone using the number she called from and we have pinpointed her location. We've got units on the way—maybe twenty minutes out. We're going to get your girl."

"How far for us?"

"It's a few hours away–where they are.."

"Can we go now?"

"Yeah—I'm working on getting the call transferred to my department cell. Once I have the call on my line, we're moving. Fast."

"Okay, yeah—that's good. Thank you, God."

I unfolded myself from my position on the floor, stood up, and helped Felicity to her feet. I looked into her eyes, placing my hands on either side of her face. I leaned in, forehead to forehead. This woman. I can't believe I almost lost this woman.

_______

–Jessica–

The shower wasn't helping. I'd hoped that the hot water, which usually calmed my racing thoughts, would settle me. Instead, I felt like I was suffocating. Through the shitty motel walls, I could hear trucks rumbling past, each one making me jump. In this Podunk town with no real hotels anywhere near me, I can't believe I'm stuck in this hell-hole.

Having my attorney get Caden to back off for a day was genius. Tomorrow we'll say she's still sick and that he can pick her up on Saturday. By then we'll be long gone. It's not like he could know, right? No one knows we're gone. Brad's got that thing later tonight. He'll probably be too drunk to notice I'm not even in bed.

Maybe I should text him. No, better to stay off his radar for the night.

My hands wouldn't stop shaking. I knew what would help—the pills in my purse would steady them, would make everything clear again. Just one. Maybe two.

No. I'd already taken... how many today? Where was I when I took the last one? Was it at McDonalds? Before that? Why can't I remember?

I turned off the water with trembling hands. The McDonald's employee—the way he'd looked at us, tried to talk to Macy. Creep. Trying to talk to my daughter. I shouldn't have stopped there for dinner. What's one meal? We could have skipped it and just eaten the chips from the gas station.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"It's okay," I whispered to my reflection in the foggy mirror. My eyes looked wrong—pupils too small, shadows too dark. When had I gotten so thin? "She's your daughter, not that woman's. It's your job to protect her. They can't tell you what you can do."

But through the haze, I didn't really know why I cared anymore—if I cared anymore.

I wrapped myself in the threadbare towel they provide, and opened the bathroom door. Macy was sitting on the bed, her back to me, unnaturally still.

"Macy? What are you doing?" Her stillness made me pause. She was quiet. Too quiet.

"Just sitting." Her voice was strange. Guilty?

My heart began to race—or maybe it had been racing all along. The pills did that sometimes. If I hadn't run out earlier this week before I could get my refill yesterday morning, it wouldn't be this bad. It's always worse then. It'll get better. It'll be better.

"We need to get a good night's sleep. We're going to leave early tomorrow, for our adventure."

"I want to go home."

The words hit me like a physical blow. Home. Where Caden was probably sitting with that woman, playing happy family in my house, with my daughter.

No. I couldn't let him poison Macy against me too.

"That's not... we can't..." My voice cracked. I was so tired. When had I last really slept? The pills kept me going but real sleep... I wish I had a glass of wine—that would help too. "Why don't you watch some TV while I figure things out?"

I clicked on the television, some cartoon filling the room with artificial brightness. Macy settled back against the pillows, but I could feel her watching me.

I started pacing. Five steps to the window. Five steps back. The room was so small. Why was it so small? I needed to put some clothes on. The AC was making my skin itch. I threw on my Eberjey pajamas, needing the soft comfort of the jersey fabric. Rubbing my arms, my hands were shaking. I need to go lie down. Maybe that would help.

Crawling under the covers, I looked over at Macy. Why does everything have to be so complicated? I wonder what Brad is doing. He probably thinks I'm crazy. I'm not. I don't think I am. The pills help—thank God I started taking them last year. Before that, everything was just noise. Now at least I can breathe.

I stood up again. I need something. What do I need? Okay, I'm grabbing my pills. Just one. This is why I—where's my water? Damnit. "Macy! Where's my water?"

She looked at me, shock on her face, and whispered "I don't know, Mom."

I started tossing things around. I need water to take my pills. Fuck it, I'll use the water from the bathroom sink tap.

I took one. That should be enough to take the edge off. I went back and took a second. Settling in on my bed, I watched TV with Macy. Within fifteen minutes I felt like a new woman.

Tomorrow we'll drive to the next state. Maybe find a nice town where nobody knows us. I have enough cash for a few weeks, maybe a month if we are careful. Long enough for Caden to realize what he's lost—if he wants to see Macy again, then he needs to pay for it.

I sighed, looked over at my daughter. "We'll leave first thing in the morning, okay honey? Get some sleep."

"I'm not tired."

"Please, Macy. Just... please. Let's just get some sleep, okay? I promise things will be better in the morning." I hated the desperation in my own voice.

Now I was begging my eleven-year-old daughter to pretend everything was normal—while we hid in a roach motel that smelled like cigarettes and broken dreams.

I have enough pills to last about another week... I think. I need to figure out how to solve for that.

I closed my eyes and could feel myself nodding off.

Then I heard it... Bang, Bang, Bang! Jessica Jensen, this is the Police. Open up!