Howl into the Night

Published: 5/14/2025

After a week had passed, Draco was still on edge and distant. Harry tried everything he could think of to reassure him, and Draco would feel better for a while. However, his fear and uncertainty always returned. Harry realized that Draco could have always been like this, but now, Harry knew every mood change Draco had. He didn't, or hadn't, fully comprehended the psychological damage Greyback and the wolves had done to him.

Harry went outside to process this... to grieve for Draco's pain. Now that he knew how much Draco could smell, he was determined to ensure he wouldn't trigger him. So, outside in the garden, he got some distance. He just wanted to cry for the amount of sorrow and misery Draco went through... and express the rage he felt for the bastards who hurt him. He had never had the desire to kill, but bloodlust was setting in his heart, now. Draco needed to be avenged, but more importantly, he needed to feel safe.

Harry didn't regret becoming a werewolf. He only regretted making Draco do it. It was impulsive, but it felt so right at the time. He wanted Draco to be his sire more than anything. He couldn't explain why, but he wanted that link to him. He wanted to be with Draco in everything. It didn't take long to find that subconscious part of him... his wolf... would still obey Draco, to a limited extent, regardless that he broke the thrall.

Draco hadn't tested his command powers over him, nor come close to touching his-their bitemark. He wouldn't look at it, at him. Sometimes, he smelled Draco's guilt and bitterness over it. Harry hated it when he did. Harry was the one who had told him to do it. He was the one who felt guilty and could only hope that it turned out okay. Tears fell from his eyes, as he grieved for the loss of their closeness.

He knew that Draco was hurting because of his choice. Moreover, Draco's withdrawal from him was hurting Draco more. He could smell and see that Draco was afraid of him, now, where he had not been before. He was sure of that.

But he didn't know how to fix it. Draco never initiated contact with him, now. He would stare off into the distance, as though trapped in his thoughts. At night, Draco retreated to his room and not Harry's. Harry would follow him in, even asking if Draco wanted to be alone, but Draco always shook his head. Draco would always turn toward the wall, and he seemed almost paralyzed with fear.

Harry tried everything he could to reassure him, but the only thing that seemed to work was gently rubbing his bondmark. Draco immediately relaxed and breathed easier, his scent changed to something less afraid. It still wasn't perfect like it had been. Maybe Draco always felt this way, but Harry doubted it. Harry sat on a bench in the garden and cried harder. He didn't know what to do. He buried his face in his hands and tried to stop the helplessness he felt.

Suddenly, he heard a soft crack, and he lifted his head. He didn't know how Draco had snuck up on him without hearing or smelling him, but he straightened up immediately and wiped his eyes.

"Draco... I'm sorry. I went outside as I didn't want to bother you," he mumbled, looking down at Draco's feet. Guilt and shame flushed through him. What right did he have to break down when Draco was so hurt?

Draco sat next to him and took his hand. "I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry, I'm scared."

Tears came out of Harry's eyes as he rambled, "Draco! Don't apologize for being scared! None of this is your fault! I-I shouldn't have done this without asking. I made you afraid of me... and-and you were getting better... and I ruined it... and I don't know what to do... and you're hurting because of me... and...."

Harry couldn't stop the rising panic and guilt as the words wouldn't stop. He was shaking and was about to start sobbing, but Draco brought his hand up and pressed his thumb into Harry's bitemark. Deep serenity went through his body so quickly that Harry's body acted like it had been electrocuted. He nearly stopped breathing as his emotions were effectively cut off. All he could feel was Draco, who kept his hand on his neck. He whined, comforted, as Draco softly pressed his mark, their mark.

Harry slowly drooped down on his side and laid down on the bench. Draco got off and crouched in front of him on the ground, inches away. He kept his hand on him the whole time, refusing to break the connection. Harry couldn't speak, nor could he feel anything other than being safe, protected, and loved. The bond was pure emotion, and he whined as he further lifted into Draco's touch. There was nothing in the world but Draco Malfoy.

Draco grimaced and nodded. "I'm sorry... I should have done this sooner. You're a new werewolf, and I think this connection is important. He never touched me here unless he wanted to hurt me. But.... it was so calming whenever you did it."

Harry could only stare up at him, as if his vocal cords wouldn't work. He didn't know how long Draco held him there, minutes... hours... days? He had no idea as he closed his eyes. He had never been so content in his life. He knew when Draco lifted his hand, but he didn't immediately crash back into his emotions. He stopped whining, though, and looked at Draco.

"You okay?"

Harry had to figure out how to speak, again. He managed to stutter out, "Y-Yeah."

Draco nodded and sat down, cross-legged in front of the bench and fiddled with some blades of grass. "I can't control my fear, Harry. It's always been there, just... I know what... Greyback... did... and Fenrir could do. I was powerless against him in either form. I know you're not him. My mind needs time. My wolf does, too. I know why you did it... and I miss what we had... but I can't just turn off the uncertainty I feel."

Harry forced his jaw to work. "I'm sorry I'm causing you so much distress. I didn't think...."

"I know... I know you did it to help me. You became a werewolf just to help me. You sacrificed a lot... just for me."

Harry growled but stayed lying on the bench. Draco was comfortable where he was. "You're worth it. I... I thought it'd help... but... I'm stupid. It felt right when I thought it."

"You thought becoming a werewolf would make the situation better?" Draco scoffed.

"I can challenge and kill your enemies for you," he declared, with a low snarl.

Draco's eyes narrowed. "I don't want you to get hurt either. What happens if they kill you?"

Harry shook his head. He wouldn't let them. He had never felt so powerful and certain in his life. "I would never leave you alone."

Draco blinked some tears. "I'm afraid I don't know how strong they really are, or if you could defeat the new Alpha. But there are so many. Fenrir had to fight off them... to claim me. You'd have to fight all of them. And as soon as you lose, they get to claim me."

"I wouldn't l-"

"You don't know that! So, stop planning to confront them. I don't want you to take that chance... Harry! These are the things I'm afraid of. If you're gone... they can take me back," Draco whispered, trembling.

Harry could smell Draco's fear like the threat was palpable. Draco needed reassurance. "I won't plan anything, okay?"

"Promise?"

Harry swallowed. "I promise."

Draco nodded and looked at the ground, again. His face was red. "I want you to understand... what the issue is. I... I can't forget about what my wolf did."

"What?"

"Before the wolves came... what it... what I... offered...."

Harry blushed hard, remembering Draco's ass on display for him to take. "I...."

"Don't say anything," Draco snapped, and Harry felt his jaw glue shut.

Draco clearly still had some control over him.

Draco looked around the yard and sighed. "You didn't do anything wrong, but you have to understand how... afraid I am... of that happening... when you're a wolf, too. I think... I know your wolf will just take what it wants... and what mine wants to give. I'm the Omega. I exist for the pack."

Harry blinked and realized that Draco slipped into thousand-yard stare, again. He had a very bad feeling that Greyback made him say that... over and over. He needed to break Draco out of it, but found his voice was still gone. He whimpered and nudged his hand with his head. Draco snapped out of it, again, and looked at him.

"The thrall? I thought you broke that?"

Harry shrugged and barred his neck open in submission. Draco's scent smelled happier as his thumb gently pressed their bondmark, again, comforting him. Harry blissed out and laid down his head back down, content with whatever Draco was willing to do.