Natasha

Now I wasn't gaga about Hollywood but it would be a sin not to see the good, old Hollywood sign in LA. We arrived at the Innsdale trail that led to the top of the summit.

The hike was reminiscent of the one my family took to the famous Vaishno Devi temple during childhood. The trail was around five kilometres long. On the way, we came across a blonde American couple around our age. They asked us to take pictures of them. In turn, they took snaps of Rithik and me, too. We introduced ourselves, talking about our backgrounds. The lady wouldn't stop gushing about her love-whipped high-school 온라인카지노게임 though. Rithik wasn't far behind as he proudly recited about our college days. I swore those two looked more like a match from hell than me. The blonde man and I shared a knowing glance. I guess romance wasn't his kink either.

Regardless, it made our two hour hike easier. One could get a panoramic view of LA from above— the vast urban area, the greenery and the ocean. It was breathtaking. We ended our hike by taking a group picture with the four of us together.

Our next stop was Griffith Observatory which was in the same area. All that walking had my pretty legs knackered. It didn't help that we had to walk another five kilometres. Rithik shared the same sentiment as he remained quiet. Very quiet. I enquired but he assured me he was fine, despite the strained expression on his face. He gritted his teeth as if wincing from something. Something was wrong and not in the we-were-tired kind of wrong either.

Sometime later, Rithik excused himself to rest. It was then I noticed him pressing his forearm with his hand, letting out a low groan. He was doing that before as well. My eyes widened. Shit! How did I not notice?

“Since when?” I referred to the pain in his arm, most likely from his accident.

“Since the beginning of the hike,” He answered, his voice strained and I gasped. He continued before I could complain. “I took a painkiller and the pain subsided for a while but... I guess it wasn't enough.”

“You idiot! You should have told me.”

“And miss this adventurous hike? Not a fat chance.”

“We don't even have your plaster. We should go to a clinic and get your arm checked,” I said, ignoring his previous statement as I swiveled my head around anxiously. I grunted. “Goddamnit! We are in a no- vehicle zone! And we still have a few more kilometres to cover. How the fuck will you—”

“Nat, calm down! I'll be fine,” Rithik assured me weakly, touching my cheek. He let out a huge exhale before going back to press his shoulder. His back hunched. Eyes closed. “I just need a few minutes to rest.”

“Okay,” I shot him a sad smile and sat next to him on the stony bench. His words did little to ease my worries though. Not when he looked weak and pale. I raised my hand over his shoulder and arm hesitantly. “Do you need me to massage you or something? Just tell me where...?”

I tried to ease Rithik out of his discomfort through a gentle massage. A few minutes went by when the foreign couple who accompanied us earlier stopped by, enquiring what was wrong. The man understood Rithik's problem right away cause he happened to be a medical professional, though from radiology. Regardless, he fished out a compressor and applied where it hurt. Surprisingly, it reduced his pain to an extent. We took this chance to resume walking again.

I swore I'd get diabetes just by how sickeningly sweet the white couple were. Not only did they accompany us to the end of the trail, they even dropped us to the hospital from their SUV and humbly waited while Rithik got checked. The doctor stated how it was caused by hiking earlier, though I could think of another reason and it instantly made me guilty. Doc further clarified that even though Rithik's fracture was healed, the adjacent muscles were still weak and recovering. That he should have avoid physically demanding activities for the time being.

In the end, the doctor gave Rithik a thin plaster to wear temporarily and prescribed some medicines. The four of us had a hearty meal together. Rithik & I thanked the couple for today and resigned for the night

“Sorry,” Rithik spoke once we laid down in bed. He placed a hand over his forehead, sighing. “We were doing so great today and I just had to ruin it all.”

“Come on, that's not true. None of us could have predicted this. I'm the one who's sorry,” I said, brushing his hair from his forehead while he cast a questionable glance. “You picked me up at the beach back then. I think that's what caused it.”

“Natasha,” Rithik said, making a face while looking me in the eye. I couldn't help pout back at him.  “Didn't you enjoy the beach?”

“I did. Best day of my life.”

“Mine, too. I just hope we stay like this forever. Don't run away,” He said, kissing my smile away. I was about to add something when he blinked his heavy eyelids.  Something about the medicines being strong as fuck. I heard him mumble a quick ‘sorry’ before he  snuggled me close to him. I let him. He fell asleep within minutes.

I peered up at his tired face. I could tell that the activities from the past few days had taken a toll on his body. We had a few things pre-planned for tomorrow but guess I'd have to cancel. His health took more priority. I didn't mind though. Not when we had the time of our lives in the past three days.

“We will stay like this forever, my Rithu darling. You just wait and see.” I whispered. I knew what I had to do now. I just hoped he came around to accept it.

* * *

Returning to Boston from LA was like falling down from the heavenly clouds. And returning to the office was like returning to jail. It fucking sucked.

I was in a foul mood. Moreover, I missed Rithik. Seemed like he shared the same sentiment as he kept messaging me all day. Not that I minded.

The next few days breezed by in a similar loop. Rithik would drop me to the office in the morning and pick me up in the evening. Either that or I'd run to his arms before the designated time. It was like we caught each other's fever in California and were unable to stay away from each other. I wanted him to be around me all the damn time.

I guess Kylie got an inkling of the sick virus Rithik and I caught and wanted to steer clear from us. She graciously offered us privacy by heading out for the weekend. Said she had to meet a dear friend or something. For a second, I wondered who that dear friend was and for whom she got dressed stylishly in a pale green dress and strapped sandals. Alas, I was too unbothered right now. I made a mental note to ask later.

I wished Kylie wouldn't have been so considerate since Rithik and I weren't. We shamelessly turned her apartment into a whore house by shagging every fucking where. Kitchen, bathroom, living room, terrace-- you name it. We contaminated it all (except for Kylie's bedroom). We even used toys. Although we were mindful not to move his right arm much. We took a breather by laying under the covers in front of the TV, watching Brooklyn nine o' nine. Never once did we bother to wear our clothes. It was literally Netflix and Chill.

In a way, we were in a honeymoon phase. But that was the thing about honeymoons. They ended.

Rithik often asked me about our relationship but I brushed it off, giving vague answers. I just wanted to prolong our confrontation. Pathetic, I know. In reality, I already knew the answer. I made up my mind when we were in Los Angeles.

“This thing, between us,” I said one evening, pointing a finger at Rithik and myself. “It's too good of a damn thing to give up.”

Rithik's eyes lit up, “Does that mean—?”

“Wait, I'm not finished yet!” I cut him off. I took a breath, bracing myself. “Hear me out. I just need some time to work on myself, okay. Gain some confidence and courage. You said so yourself. I'm not sure how long but I'll assume till the time I'm in Boston. Once I'm done, I'll faithfully return back to you. I won't dump you. And I won't run from us ever again, I promise.”

“No, Natasha, not this nonsense again. Why are you so hell bent on breaking up?”

“I'm not breaking up! I'm just taking some time apart to build a future with you.” I exasperated.

“Can't you do that while being with me? That's how couples do it, right? We aren't going to be physically together anyway. I don't think long distance is the problem or is it?”

“No, Rithik, distance is not the issue here,” I said tiredly, pressing the bridge of my nose. “I tried to improve when we were together but look where it got us. Or rather me. This gotta work when I'm not with you or anyone else. I don't need that pressure.”

“Are you still afraid of commitment?”

“No, I'm not. I'm long past that stage now,” I answered in a heartbeat. “I'm afraid of our families. At some point, you'll have to convince your family. I'll have to tell my parents, too. They... they already suspect me. They tried to fetch the truth out of me once, but I convinced them there was no one. Telling them is the hardest part for me. I can't keep getting...”

Panic attacks, I wanted to blurt but couldn't. I bit my lip, a lump forming in my throat. Saying that would mean telling Rithik what triggered me that day with his Bua and the disastrous back온라인카지노게임 behind it. I wasn't ready for that. Dunno if I'd ever be. It was too much. The chaos was too damn much. If only I could get rid of my ridiculous fears. Just thinking about it made my stomach drop in dread.

“Getting what? Tell me!” Rithik demanded, searching my eyes for answers. When I didn't, he held my distressed face between his shaky palms, “Look, I'll be with you, alright. You don't have to face it alone. We'll fight our battles together. I'll talk to your parents. I'll talk to everyone. Just don't leave my side, that's all I ever ask...”

His voice croaked towards the end. I peered again and my heart sank. “Rithik...?”

His face appeared torn as he held a fistful of his shirt on his chest, avoiding my gaze. “Please don't break my heart again, Natasha. I beg of you! I can't bear it. It hurts too much. I hate to admit but that's how much control you have over me. You bloody run in my veins. That's how much I love you and need you. This is all I can do now. Please, please... don't leave...”

“No, Rith...” My breath hitched in my throat when he joined his hands in front of me, literally begging me with his head hung low. Hot, burning tears fell past my cheeks like a burn, mirroring his own. His eyes were red. I held his hands, shaking my head violently before I squeezed him into my arms. We fell down to our knees. He hugged me back, digging his face on the crook of my neck while his fingers twisted around the fabric of my shirt. His shoulders shook as he broke down, sniffing. I wrecked him and it killed me. I felt like the shittiest person ever. My determination faded like snow melting into water. Soon, I was saying things I wasn't sure were lies or truth. “Shh, pl- please don't cry, babe. I can't bear it. I'm not going anywhere, okay. I won't leave you. I'll stay. I'll stay...”

“Yes, stay...”

Rithik managed to calm down after a while. We were on the bed with him laying down on my lap while I continued to caress his head. I didn't know when I dozed off with my head resting on the headrest of the bed. I woke up after a while, only to find Rithik missing. He was neither in my room nor in the apartment. Panic rose. I stole a quick glance at the corner of my room to find his luggage still there. I placed a hand over my chest, sighing. 

Naturally, I called Rithik but he didn't pick up. I tried a few more times with zero response. Perhaps he didn't believe my words earlier. That I only said it in the heat of the moment. I messaged him before tossing my phone aside. I briskly walked towards the shelf filled with bottles of wine and alcohol. I popped one and drank it straight from the bottle. The warmth of the red, fruity wine seeped down my throat, calming my overwhelming senses. A little while later, I lit up a cigarette.

An hour or so later, I received an unexpected call. “Vansh?”

“One and only. Just called to let you know your man is here, loitering in my house. Says he might stay the night.”

“Not might. Will.” Came Rithik's distant slurred voice. Guess I wasn't the only one drinking. Relief washed over me. “Why the hell did you call her, man? I wanted her to worry about me more.”

“Scoundrel.” I muttered under my breath. “I'm glad you called, Vansh. I called him plenty of times but he wouldn't answer. Also, I'm sorry for the trouble.”

“Yeah, I figured he was lying when he said he informed you. It's okay. Don't fret.” There was a pause. I could hear faint sounds of the TV until it died out. Vansh was speaking to Rithik now. “Oye! Say something to her. She was worried.”

“Hehh, well, she can tell her worries to fuck itself. I'm not fucking dying!” Rithik slurred bitterly, making my heart sink. Vansh told him to behave. Rithik's voice grew quiet. “I know what you said before was a bluff. I know you that much atleast. Still, it felt good to dream for a moment.”

“Sorry, Rith. I'm so sorry...” I sniffed. “Maybe we should—”

“Just leave me alone for now.” He sounded annoyed and tired.

“Okay...”

“Uh, awkward. I feel like a third wheeler here... Are you alright?” Vansh asked.

“Yeah, I guess,” I shrugged. I was far from alright but he didn't need to know. I sighed. “I know it's stupid to ask but can you take care of Rithik? Give him something to eat. I don't think he had dinner or did he? Also, tell him to take his meds.”

“Okay, amma (mother), anything else.” When I didn't react, Vansh groaned. “Sorry, I was trying to lighten things up. He's already having fruits without my permission. He's a big boy but don't worry, I'll babysit him.”

This time I cracked up. “Thanks, Vansh. Good night.”

~~~

Rithik didn't come to my apartment, the next morning either. I had to ask about him through Vansh since he was busy ignoring me like terms and conditions. Vansh informed how Rithik was planning to leave for India soon. He even requested Vansh to fetch his luggage from my place though Vansh denied. I rolled my eyes. Was Rithik seriously planning on leaving just like that? I made up my mind to visit Vansh's place. 

Fortunately, I didn't have to bother since Rithik was at my place as informed by Kylie. I rushed to my place at once, my heart beating by a mile.

A wave of emotions rushed through me as I saw Rithik sitting by the lobby, chatting to Kylie. All the memories of the past fifteen days came running back, slicing me like a knife. Normally, I'd recognize how he was feeling. He was the kind to wear his heart on the sleeve but right now, his face was unreadable. Like he was closely guarding himself in contrast to his crying self last time. I apologized to him mentally for the hundredth time.

Kylie offered me a sad smile before leaving the room. It was just me and Rithik now. We simply greeted each other before falling into a dreaded silence. I wanted to sit beside him, hug him and what not but it's like he had his claws out. He didn't even spare me a single glance since I walked in. I joined my palms together, feeling agitated.

“Do you hate me that much...?”

That made him lift his eyes at me for the first time. His dark brown eyes no longer held the warmth for me. Only indifference. He let out a dry laugh. “I wish, but I can't. I can never hate you, Natasha.”

Something about the way he spoke my name willed me to get up and get closer to him. He stood up as well. I was just extending my hand to touch him but he withdrew, glaring sharply at me. I stopped, tensed.

“I'm done chasing after you. I'm done,” He declared, raising his hands in defeat. “Coming to Boston was my last attempt. Deep down, I knew it was futile, but I wanted to talk face-to-face atleast. Not end things over a piece of crap. I got what I wanted. Quite more than that, actually. LA was fun, hmm.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, staring dumbly as his words pierced my heart one by one. I tried to contain all the anguish inside, my throat clogging up. Even forced a few breaths but failed miserably as my eyes stung with tears.

Rithik spread his arms, grinning wide like a maniac. “You are a free birdie now, isn't that fucking great? Once I go back tomorrow, we'll be on our separate ways. I won't call you or message you to get back together. You're free to do whatever, however, with whomever you like. You get to be the old, slutty Natasha you dearly love. We are over. Aree, why those fat tears? Isn't this what you always wanted? To be as far as away from me.”

“It's what I need, not what I want, you stupid piece of shit!” I cried out. I stepped closer while he stepped back. “Please listen to me this time , Rithik. Please don't leave me stranded like this...”

For a split second, Rithik's eyes softened but then he quickly turned around. I heard him draw out a long sigh before he continued, his voice strained. “You know what sucks about all of this? I can kind of understand why you're doing this. I know you need time & space. That night's conversation with Kylie made me retrospect a bit... But kya kare? With me, you are either all in or out. There's no in between. That's how I roll and there's no changing it. Just like there's no—”

His speech stopped midway as I sprinted to enclose my arms around him from behind, whimpering. I couldn't take this bitter distance anymore. His hands balled into fists staying in place. He let out another sigh. It was as if he was trying to control himself with all his might. I continued to stuff my face against his back, his shirt drenched in my tears.

And then, like a whirlwind, Rithik turned around encasing his arms around my waist, my back arching as he nearly lifted me off the floor. I readily circled my arms around his neck, my hands grabbing a fistful of his shirt, holding him as if it was the last day on earth. My heart bloomed, finding a reason to beat normally again. I couldn't understand what was happening? It was like I was living and dying at the same time. I wasn't sure how I was holding on. It felt as if my world was crumbling apart and he held the last remaining piece on the palm of his hand. I was at his mercy.

Another gush of wind followed, this time in the form of a kiss. It just happened as Rithik held my face between his palms and stole my breath away in a ferocious liplock. My lips responded immediately with shaky fingers linking against his. We kissed and kissed, pouring everything into our lips that words failed to portray, the anger, sadness, longing, love— I could feel it all  reverberating between us. I poured everything I could possibly muster into that one kiss. It was our moment of singularity. At some point, my wet lips trembled as I sniffed bitterly. I found myself panting against his parted lips, mixed with the salt from the tears. Our tears.

Rithik pressed his trembling lips against mine. Just one, long smooch without a single movement. And then, pushed me away with one single jerk.

That's exactly when the last piece of my world crushed under his palm.

Rithik didn't waste any time. He rubbed his teary face against his arm, sniffing and then, quickly grabbed his luggage towards the door. He cast me one, last defeating look before closing the door behind him. The jackass left without uttering a single word.

I wanted to run after Rithik. Maybe even run back to India and steal him back, away from everyone else. But I couldn't. My head and eyes hurt too much to think about anything else right now. My energy sucked dry. I simply dropped my exhausted ass to bed and dozed off with tears in my face.

~~~

Eventually, I got to know from Vansh that Rithik would be leaving the next day in the afternoon. I didn't think twice before paying a visit to the apartment. Surprisingly both men were there. Wasn't Vansh getting late for the office, too?

“Well, we were drinking late last night. Irfan was also there.” Vansh said absentmindedly, his hair all roughed up. Rithik yawned beside him. Did they woke up just now?

“What the hell? I thought I bid you a proper goodbye.” Rithik said.

“You never said goodbye!” I argued then turned to Vansh frowning. “Since when you two became best buddies? It's creepy. You hated his guts, remember.”

“I hate your guts more right now,” Rithik mumbled and we both shared a glaring look. He then raised his brow in realisation. “Oh, that kind of goodbye. Ever the dirty girl, Nat. It's true I didn't fuck you last time. Alright, let's go to the bedroom, though I'm not in the mood—”

“Come on, that's not exactly why I came here for,” I tried to intervene as Rithik took me by my hand.

“O, hello, excuse me? I didn't get laid in my bedroom either and you wanna rot it? Fuck somewhere else. This ain't a love hotel!” Vansh interrupted us by spreading his arms in front of his bedroom, his eyes narrowed. 

“Fine, we'll take the couch then. Leave, you bastard.”

“Rithik!” Both Vansh and I bellowed together. We all shared a small laugh, despite the thick tension surrounding the room.

~~~

Sometime later, the men got ready to leave. Rithik insisted on leaving as well, even though his flight was a few hours late. Said he wished to explore around a bit. It stung how my presence bothered him that much. Vansh and Rithik bid their goodbyes, whispering something amongst themselves while glancing at me. I frowned. Vansh dutifully left for office while I insisted on dropping Rithik to the airport, despite his protests.

My chest felt heavy by the time we reached the international airport. I didn't miss a second to look at Rithik's handsome face on the way, never minding the fact I looked like a creep. I even reached out to hold his hand. Surprisingly, he let me. It was as if I found a calm amidst the storm. 

“Rithik.” I called after him as he proceeded to pass through entry gates. He stopped walking. I closed my fists. My voice quivered as I continued like a desperate plea.

“I'll come after you one day. It's my iron promise. And when I do, you can be rest assured I'll be ready to embrace our future by then. Hopefully. I won't run away. I won't be afraid, or atleast I'll try—”

“And why would you do that? I won't be coming after you anymore.” Rithik asked, looking back at me wearily. As if he had already resigned from us. “Wouldn't it be easier to not be with me? To return to how you originally were.”

“No!” I denied, vehemently. I walked closer, gripping his arms, compelling him to look into my earnest eyes. His expression faltered. I could almost see the storm inflicted in his eyes that he was trying to suppress. Guilt washed over me but I didn't allow it to care. “It's okay. You don't have to chase after me. I'll do it! I'll come for you! Just how you always came for me. And I'll take you back no matter what. Be prepared.”

“Why?” 

“Cause we are meant to be, I know that now. You're the love of my life.”

For a moment, it seemed like Rithik would crumble into pieces. His lucid, chocolate brown eyes spoke a million words that his mouth refused to. But in a flash, it was gone and replaced with a hostile look. He clenched his jaw and yanked his arm away from me. “Like hell I care! Do whatever you like, but don't get your hopes up. Bye.”

“Take care, Rithik,” I said, my smile wobbly realizing he hadn't once called my name. Regardless, I held onto the last string of hope like a prayer. “Just wait for me. Please.”

I continued to remain still as I watched Rithik disappear amongst the crowd. His last image of red clothed back etched into my mind. I stood, feeling the world move normally as if mine hadn't been shattered to pieces. I hated that. I hated it all.

* * * * *

I know you'll hate me for this chapter lol, but what was planned earlier will go as planned. Even Rithik coming to Boston will NOT change that. Sorry, darling! 😅

So what are your overall thoughts? Did their breakup make sense to you? Was it conflicted? Sometimes people are just at a different wavelength and thought process in life due to circumstances. In a way, Natasha needs this solo space (atleast that's what I think. You may think differently). With Rithik out of the picture for now, the real arc can Finally commence. I don't know about you, but I'm actually excited! 🤩 Expect a few surprises. Shall I give you a hint? Vote and Comment.

Also, NATASHA reached 5k readers and 550+ votes. Yay! 🥳 All thanks to your lovely comments and views. I wish for more though. This is nowhere near enough. Until next time.