Angel Wing

note
hello to anyone reading! sorry for the delayed updates. it's exam season but I took some time during the halfway point to get some writing done because I was really missing it. I wrote this chapter while sleep deprived but as of right now I am happy enough to post it. pls don't hesitate to point out any errors I've missed! enjoy <3

MARCH

THE HEAT OF the March sun was streaming and spilling over the field, and Hadley supposed that he and Spencer probably should've been getting back to class, but Spencer, still wearing the grey shorts and the light-blue t-shirt he wore for phys ed, was trying to do a handstand.

He placed his hands firmly on the short, dry grass and continued to kick his legs up, controlled and patient, until he got it and straightened his legs out, his body in a poised line and his t-shirt falling just enough to reveal a sliver of his flat, smooth stomach.

Shielded by a patch of shade created by the drooping branches and the tresses of leaves, Hadley watched him until he fell gracefully out of it, dropping one leg at a time, and stood up again, dusting his hands off.

Rolling his wrists out, he stood in the mouth of the sunlight, the glow surrounding him. The image of him was hazy and beautiful, and he looked like a memory. "I told you," he grinned.

Hadley threw him a smile. "I'll give you your five dollars when you have somewhere to put it."

Since they'd last seen each other a few days before, the brief spring heatwave and the year's first burst of real sun had made him glow. His sparsely freckled forearms and his firm legs, his defined calves— Elodie had mentioned enough times that he, like Hadley, had grown up playing soccer— and his usually pearly face were darker than usual. He was a shade of light gold, his scattered freckles were darker and he brought the scent of spring with him; fresh and musky and heavy. Hadley eyed his dexterous hands, gold-dusted, and tried not to stare at his arms, the sunlight glow illuminating their shape and light hair.

In the distance, his phys ed class were still out on the field, running around under the glaring eye of the sun, shouting to each other and looking towards their coach when he blew his whistle; all reduced to small, distant blots of light, the occasional voice catching in the air.

Their meeting had been a coincidence.

One of Spencer's teammates had kicked a ball towards him and he had booted it from the sports field with enough force that it flew out towards the back of the school lawn. It was the place where people lounged during free periods and spent their lunch breaks when it was warm enough. It was where Hadley happened to be skipping third period, alone and half-alive; where he had come out to lie on the hard, parched earth until he became too hot and had to seek the shade of the nearby trees, the front of a heavy cluster of shrubs and bushes and hedges that blocked their school from ever touching the outside world.

The ball had landed some feet away from where he had been sprawled, but close enough for Spencer to shield his eyes, squint through the light and realise who he was. With careful attention, he had kicked it again so that it gently bumped against Hadley's hip.

Grinning, he'd asked, "Did I disturb your slumber, sleeping beauty?" And walked over to take it again, rolling it underneath his shoe and pretending as though he was preparing to kick it hard at Hadley's leg. "What are you doing out here?"

"I don't know," he'd admitted, sitting up and shielding his eyes. "I didn't want to go to class."

Then one of the teammates had cupped his hands around his mouth and called out to Spencer to kick the ball back, and Spencer had stepped away from Hadley, put the ball in front of him on the flat grass and kicked it so hard that it went flying across the school lawn again.

"Hurry up! Coach is coming back soon!"

And Spencer had cupped his mouth and shouted, "Coming!" Then he had thrown himself down on the grass beside Hadley, rolling onto his stomach and using his folded arms as a cushion for his head for a few minutes until Hadley moved to the shade. After that, he'd grown restless.

He placed his hands on his hips and rolled his shoulders back, pushing out and expanding his chest to stretch it. "What are you looking at?" He demanded with playful confrontation, nodding his head upwards and smiling.

"What are you looking at?" He retorted, watching him steadily from the shade.

Spencer grinned, relaxed his chest and shoulders, and wandered over, sitting down beside him on the slanted bank at the edge of the field. He eyed Hadley with a vague smile, licking his lips. His eyes were quick and glittering. "Do you have any water?"

"Only from my water bottle." With a thick, dry feeling in his throat and a slightly clammy forehead, he dragged his backpack towards him. Lightly, casually, he asked, "Do you mind sharing?"

"Not if you don't," Spencer replied experimentally, his face still and his eyes flickering carefully, attentively over Hadley's face. There was a small smile threatening to spill.

He gave his head a slight shake, reached into his backpack for the water and handed it to Spencer, who accepted it with a grateful mutter. With a ball of heat unravelling in his stomach, he watched him raise it to his lips and begin to drink, his throat moving greedily but gracefully.

Hadley knew he was staring, but he was unable to avert his gaze until Spencer was fastening the cap, brushing the side of his thumb against his lips and handing the bottle back.

"Thanks," he murmured, a half-smile playing on his lips.

Shoving the bottle back in his backpack, he watched; he watched as Spencer settled, propped up on his forearms; he watched those bright eyes flutter and close, those gentle eyelashes grazing his freshly tanned cheekbones and the blonde fringes; he watched his head loll gently back, his throat lengthened and exposed.

When he spoke again, his mouth barely opened. His voice was low and felt like the shadow of a kiss against the neck. In his playful, attractive way, a smile in his words, he said, "I haven't seen much of you since Elodie took me away. Where've you been?"

"Nowhere," he said, and he meant it. School, home, school and home. He had tried to go on a walk yesterday evening but found that he didn't have the energy for it and stayed in his room instead, flickering through the fragments of Pessoa that he had borrowed, trying to look for an answer without knowing his question.

He saw Spencer's light brow begin to furrow. "Nowhere?"

"Around," he shrugged and couldn't stop staring. There was something so alive about him that the heat in Hadley's belly was beginning to burn his veins. He tried to erase the image he had of Elodie looking at him, watchful and curious and suspicious. He tried harder to erase the image he had of Spencer leaning down to kiss her. Both of them knotted his stomach and gave him an ugly feeling that he wanted to name, but couldn't.

"I tried to catch you after class," Spencer remarked, "but you were out of sight as soon as the bell rang. I don't know if you were in a rush to be somewhere." He paused, fluttered his eyes open and lifted his head, looking pointedly at Hadley. His green eyes were intense, and his gaze was heavy and focused. "Were you?"

"No," he said distantly, flatly. He frowned and looked away, staring at the sun-baked grass and dusty mud. Despite the coolness of the shade, the back of his neck was hot and his stomach was still twisting. He thought of Elodie meeting Spencer halfway when he leaned down to kiss her and the tenderness with which he did it.

Spencer smiled. "You know what I'm asking, don't you?"

"I know," Hadley replied stiffly, staring intently at nothing. A slight breeze swayed through the leaves, rustling the material of his t-shirt. Some birds were singing to each other, hidden in the trees behind them. "They've both made it pretty clear that they don't want you to talk to me, and I don't really care what they want, but I'd prefer to save you the trouble if I can. I'm not trying to be the topic of an argument between you and Elodie. I'm not interested in that."

"You haven't caused me any trouble," he declared firmly, his smile vanishing. His face grew still and solemn, and he pressed himself up so that he was no longer propped on his forearms.

"That's not what Elodie and Charlotte seemed to be suggesting," he laughed wryly, shaking his head and picking a fistful of grass from the ground, sprinkling it back down.

"You haven't caused me any trouble that wasn't worth it," Spencer corrected swiftly with a pointed look. Gentle, dark shadows were falling over his face.

Hadley eyed him warily. "I don't want to be responsible for ruining your relationship. I don't want to be a point of tension between you and Elodie. It's not about her— it's about you. I don't want to give you grief."

"And what about what I want?" He retorted sharply, gesturing to himself with a quick hand.

His heart gave a dull, heavy thump and his veins were aflame. His gaze fell on Spencer's jawline. The knots in his stomach came loose all at once. He tried to keep his voice steady "And what do you want?"

Spencer looked at him. He was sitting with his elbows resting on his raised knees, his body angled away from Hadley and towards the field. Further up, his teammates were still running around and his coach was still blowing his whistle, occasionally yelling or calling out to them.

He opened his mouth to reply but couldn't find anything to say so, instead, he shrugged his shoulders and turned away again. "I like being around you, Hadley," he said finally, firm but quiet. "I like sharing books with you and joking around with you and having excuses to talk to you."

Swallowing thickly, he studied the crooked bridge of Spencer's nose and the curve of his cheekbones and the soft bump of his taut mouth in profile. "I just don't want to ruin things for you. Elodie doesn't trust me anymore and she doesn't want me around you. She seems to think I'm trying to turn you against her."

"But why does it matter if we spend time together if all we talk about are movies and books and not Elodie?" He cried, sighing and biting the side of his thumb. "We get along. Alright, so you punched me one time. We got over that pretty quickly, didn't we?"

Biting back a sheepish smile, he shrugged. "You're asking the wrong person."

"Maybe I'll ask the right person then," he replied hastily. "My relationship with Elodie isn't your responsibility— it's mine— and I told you already that if I want to be around you, then I will." He turned his head and their eyes met. "I like being around you, Hadley."

"I like being around you, too," he said, surprised at his own firmness. There was a swooping sensation in his gut.

Suddenly, Spencer was shy. He flushed pink and his sharpness softened into something sweet and bashful. "I'm going to talk to her."

Hadley nodded, but did not speak. He couldn't. When their eyes locked again, all he could think of was Derrain, that bright green.

Silence settled around them and they turned away from each other without needing to say anything else. The warmth of the sun, the vivid blue sky, made him sleepy and vaguely disoriented, as though he was sitting inside of a dream and that nothing around him was entirely real. His heart slowed and he relaxed again, his body loosening and his eyelids growing heavy.

"I should probably go," Spencer announced, pushing himself up and getting to his feet, stepping down on the field. "See if I can slip back in without the coach paying too much attention."

"What?" He blurted, shifting as though someone had reached towards him and jolted him awake. "Right now?"

When there was no movement, Hadley, fervent, got to his feet and stepped towards him. The heat struck him immediately, falling on his face and the back of his neck. He stood in front of Spencer, searching his face; the deep colour of his green eyes, the firm mouth, the slight crease in his forehead.

Then, Spencer's gaze dropped and another one of those soft waves moved through his throat. It was only after a pause that Hadley realised he was looking at his lips.

"No," he murmured, looking him in the eye again and just barely shaking his head. "I suppose not right now."

Spencer broke away first and wandered away from him, sitting down at the edge of the small, slanted hill.

When he followed, he sat down closer to him than they had been sitting before. Though he hadn't intended it, they were close enough that their fingertips just barely brushed.

Neither of them spoke. Hadley tried to sit inside of the silence and tried to be still. He tried to absorb the sensation of the murmuring breeze against his face, the sound of leaves rustling behind them, the heat of the sun and the dryness of the grass beneath his palm, the softness of Spencer's hand inching towards his own.

He didn't move. Spencer's fingers rested over his own and the tip of his finger softly brushed once— only once, as if accidentally— over Hadley's knuckle. His breath caught in his throat, but Spencer made no acknowledgement of it. When he dared to take a glimpse of him and his fresh beauty, his shoulders and posture were relaxed but he was staring straight ahead.

A memory of Elodie grasped him like a startling hand on the shoulder. When they were together, she used to tell him for reasons that he could no longer recall: I knew you would do that. I knew you would feel that way. I know you better than you know you.

For the first time, he realised that she had been right and, though he did not say it, he thought he was beginning to understand why she was so eager to keep him away.

Spencer slowly, subtly, brushed his knuckle again. He did not even dare to breathe.

note
thank you for reading and apologies again for the wait! my exams finish at the end of May so I'm hoping to have some more time when the uni year is all done, but we will see

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and if you did then I would love to hear any thoughts/feedback. I feel like this chapter has a slightly different feeling from some of the others but I can't pinpoint why. I'm unsure if that's the sleep deprivation talking or not lol but I really wanted to get this up so here it is!

I think maybe because this chapter was supposed to be something else and then I decided to push that one back and do this one first? if there's anything off about this chapter pls lmk haha

anyway, thank you again!! I hope to see you next time :')

originally published
18 / 05 / 2025