Natasha

Dear Rithu darling,

I know what you are thinking. A. Fucking. Letter?!! That too, from a bitch like Natasha. Is the world going to end tonight?

If only it could. Then I wouldn't have to give you this earth shattering news.

Honestly, I don't want to do this. The fact that I stalled this for so damn long should be proof enough.

So here's the blow, babe- It's true that I'm moving outside the city to be a part of an architectural project. It's also true that I'll only be there for a limited time, after which I'll return to Mumbai. You just heard the wrong place and time. The place is Boston-- Yes, yes, the USA one! And the time is one year. Well, actually a little more than that, sorry!

By the time, you'll read this letter, I'll most probably be setting up my things in my new guest room or attending a crucial board meeting at the Safdie Architects Branch Office in Boston. It's a well-established firm in US. Do you know what that means, Rithik? I earned this shit. And I'm fucking proud of it!

You were the first person I wanted to yell this breaking news to. That's why I called you. God is a sadist. They didn't like seeing me over the moon so they plummeted me down to earth with the crushing news of your accident. On the same arse day. What are the odds?

It may sound bullshit, but I got this guilt inside my head. I was like- "I gotta tell you, it's so exciting!" But then, I saw you writhing in pain in the hospital, suffering both mentally and physically. I didn't have the right to be thrilled because of your stupid accident and if I felt that, I'd become guilty all over again. It was like a cycle.

A month later, you returned home. I was genuinely happy to see you smile from your heart after you got discharged. You were so relieved to be outside. I didn't have it in me to be a party pooper then.

So I'm expressing my excitement here. I did it, Rithik! I hella did it! 😍 Perhaps luck finally took mercy on me this time and paid off for my toiling years at Uni and school. I wish I could end this note with a bang but there will be no bang- bang here. Sorry, cut that crap joke! Was letter writing supposed to be this confusing? It wasn't the same at school. Seriously where should I begin? Perhaps from the beginning.

I have a confession to make- I'm terrified of people. As in not scared to face them, but scared to let them in. And what's the closest thing that lets people in? Bingo, a romantic relationship!

Dating was never in my agenda. I'm too deranged for that. The only way I stayed with a man was through sex. That was my intention with you, too, earlier on. But you were so goddamn irresistible, Rithik! I tried to push you away with all means possible but you broke through my defences. You swallowed my heart until I had no will left to say no. You said I'll be ready for you and say yes one day. But I was Never ready for you. I just couldn't afford to lose you. I loved you too much for it.

Did you know how I struggled in the first months of our relationship? The bimbos from my class were insanely jealous of me. Some passed indirect dibs, wondering what on earth I did to catch your heart or I'm only with you for your looks. While few thought I acquired an attitude problem. Bitch, I was born with that shit. What was their deal anyway?

Not that their behavior stung me but I got super conscious around you whenever we were at Uni. Though you felt entirely the opposite. You wanted to introduce me to everyone as your precious girlfriend. It made me uncomfortable. I already ranted about it, but you never understood.

Wow, I just realized it's easy to talk about my feelings on paper rather than verbal.

Anyway, our relationship had been fantastic 70% of the time. It made me discover things about you, me and love in general. Barring Abhishek, you're the first man I've been this emotionally close to. The first person besides Abhi and Mitali in my entire life and that's telling something. It is a huge deal for me.

It's no secret I thought about breaking up with you a few times. You always got angry, remember. Though I started considering it when the whole Raj fiasco happened. It irked me to see you two fools fighting like macho brats who only think with their dicks. Nearly triggered me. I hate immaturity, but more than that, I hate violence. When people think they could only resolve issues by physically hurting the other. I've been a bearer to the other side and you know that.

No one is perfect, not you, not me. I forgave you ofc. Until that one messy evening with your Bua. It was a nail in the coffin. What she did was despicable, but her confrontation opened a can of worms that were
locked the entire time. I got face-to-face with reality. See, when I agreed to go out with you, I was only thinking about the present and the near future. I never thought that far ahead. I should have, it's only natural.

So I kept asking myself- Am I willing to be with you forever? I don't know. Am I willing to fight for us, barring all the drama, taunts and everything in between? Especially from my family. And keep reliving my trauma again & again.

No, no, noo!

The things your Bua said was enough to break me. It triggered something I thought I buried within the dust of my worst nightmares. Nightmares you are unaware of. And so, I wrote this letter to say one major thing out of all this mindless crap that I'm writing here.

I'm breaking up with you, Rithik. It's not a request, but a statement. Read that again. I AM BREAKING UP WITH YOU! (Sorry, had to write in caps for you to get through your thick skull.)

Is it because of your Bua? No, not entirely. Is it because of your parents? No. From the limited interactions I had— especially with your father— I could tell they are genuinely good people. That you are dearly loved and treasured by them. It's why you're such a good person, too.

You have no idea how many times I had to go out of my comfort zone to be with you. But I can't keep getting exposed and hurt again and again.
I'm breaking up with you because I no longer want to be a burden to you. I don't want you to keep nursing my wounds because I'm not strong enough to bear them myself. I felt immensely guilty every time you comforted me either from a panic attack, a nightmare during sleep, a bad day or my mood swings in general. At times, I'd notice you sigh longingly, though you try your best to hide it with a smile. It is certainly taxing to be with such a person, isn't it? You're only human. I already burdened Abhishek enough, I don't want to do the same to you. You're too bright to be ruined by somebody like me.

Yes, I heard that shit about partners supporting each other. I'd love that, but I prefer you to support me, not be my handicap. I hate that I started depending on you even before we dated. And I know what you'll say! That you're fine with it. That I can graciously burden you with all my shit. But to do that your whole life. Your whole life, Rithik? How long can you do that until you start thinking I'm a pain in the ass to be with. Or maybe you already thought that. You just never confessed it to me.

Trust me, you don't want to be with someone who's never sure about her future.

You are like a diamond to me, Rithik. A rare diamond I never searched for but got blessed with anyway. You made me believe there was something good about this world. Do you remember what you said to me during our University farewell? That even an unromantic girl like me deserved to be loved. Someone who gave me the world and let me see how beautiful life was. You have no idea how much those words meant to me. No one has ever been this kind to me. I wanted to bawl right there & then and share my deepest fears and thoughts.

You indeed gave me the world and so much more. I can never be more grateful. I'm writing this to tell you there's nothing for you to regret and feel sorry for (in case you do). There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing gravely wrong with our relationship either. It's me who's the wrong equation here. The one who needs fixing.

And I feel like Boston is a good place to start. For the first time in my life, I'm positive about something. I don't know what's in store for me, but I have a gut feeling it will be worth it. I need to experience it ALONE. I need to do this-- whatever the hell this is, without you.

Maybe... This is just a maybe. A few years down the line, if we still feel the same. If I manage to work on myself and feel sure about our future. About me as a partner. Then perhaps, we can get together again. I know it's a dumbass assumption to make. I won't stop you if you get on with another woman. This is just a what if scenario. I don't want to make you hope or wait unnecessarily. So don't dwell on this too hard.

So please- let me go. Don't chase after me. Don't call me. We can talk normally, but I'll block you if you'll keep confronting me repeatedly. And for fuck's sake, Rithik— I beg of you— don't come here! Your handsome face will not change my mind.

Neither will sex (even though its tempting).

Asshole.

I know I've hurt you a lot and I'm  sorry. You'll be devastated for a while but with time, you'll get over it, just you see. You have your family and your beloved boy friends by your side. You're the diamond while I'm a nobody. I'm certain that if you try hard enough, you'll find an amazing woman who would be much easier to be with. Who wouldn't come with baggage. You'll be okay, trust me.

I'm sorry, babe.

From your worst bitch,

Natasha Patil.

A/N

End of current arc. Do you hate what Natasha did? Is it understandable? Please comment.

The Boston Arc will begin in the next chapter. This 온라인카지노게임 will now coincide with Serious in Love. As I said, Natasha is a spin off. This character was first introduced in that book. If you have read SeIL, you will see characters from there. And if you read, you already know most of what is about to happen. Get prepared to see-

💋 A bunch of new characters. Men and women.

💋 New scenarios in a new setting

💋 Natasha and Rithik had been present throughout the 온라인카지노게임 so far. But you have to remember that this 온라인카지노게임 is more about Natasha than her relationship with Rithik. Hence the title, Morton's! (In Natasha's voice 😎) This particular arc is more about her, her interactions with the people and her journey (both professional & personal). Rithik will be shown but briefly. You'll have to be patient lol.

💋 To those who already read Serious in Love, you already know what will happen, but I have decided to change things a bit. Things were a little too dramatic at parts (I won't specify which as it will be a spoiler). I'll tweak things a little and make those changes in SeIL accordingly. However, the core events will remain the same. Comment *Yes* if you read Serious in Love.

Hope you enjoy this arc. Are you excited? Please comment 💜💜

Happy December! See you in Boston, baby! ✈️