Natasha

Doctor Thapa- the therapist was a pretty married woman in her forties. On their first session, she mostly asked basic questions to make Natasha comfortable around her. In reality, Thapa was already briefed a bit about the situation from Abhishek. She continued making notes as Natasha answered her questions. Towards the end of the session, she told Natasha to write down a list of things she was grateful about.

Natasha feigned ignorance. “Sorry, but there's absolutely nothing to be grateful about. I'd rather die.”

“Are you sure? It could be a person who supports you, a dish you love, your favorite accessory, place, anything. Try to come up with atleast ten things.”

“Ten? Are you for real?”

“Yes, beta. Only then this session will end.” She smiled.

Natasha rolled her eyes in disbelief. This smiling bitch. Regardless, she got down to it. The first two were easy as she jotted down the names of Abhishek and Mitali. Then she wrote down the names of three dishes she loved followed by Gateway of India. The next ones became hard to write. Although with doctor Thapa's encouragement and ideas, Natasha was able to complete the list.

“See,” Dr Thapa smiled with her eyes, holding Natasha's written list. “You just found ten reasons to live.”

The sessions went smoothly after that.

Doctor Thapa had kind eyes and a soft voice, that exhibited a warm aura. It propelled Natasha to open up to her. She liked how Thapa never judged her, nor winced at her use of foul language. Although it was slightly annoying to jot down lists and do questionnaires every session. Thanks to her, Natasha had a personal diary now. The doctor often quoted about life from famous philosophers and taught her about the importance of mental health. She even prescribed some medicines based on Natasha's diagnosis. All the fees were paid by Abhishek, much to Natasha's discomfort.

“Honestly, I want peace. I want to live away from my parents as far as possible. Perhaps in another city or country. Meet new humans, make girl friends, get my brains fucked— in an intellectual way I mean, be a strong, independent lass and...”

Natasha was answering a question about the kind of life that would truly make her happy. She trailed off, staring at the scene of rustling trees beyond the window.

“And?” Thapa instigated her to continue.

Natasha cleared her throat as if she was hesitant to add. “You know a bit of those cheesy, overrated girly stuff...”

“Describe, beta.”

Natasha's hand covered the lower part of her face as she continued in a muffled voice. “Rom-com...”

Thapa burst out laughing, embarrassing Natasha even further. “Must say I didn't expect that but it's completely normal, dear. I thought about it too, when I was your age. What kind of partner would you like?”

Natasha crossed her arms. “Hey, I never had this talk before. Let me think hypothetically, um... A hot, sexy boyfriend. Someone who gives off a bad boy vibe.”

“Oh, what if he turned out toxic?”

“That wouldn't happen. I won't choose a dickhead,” Natasha flipped her hair, exhibiting an air of confidence. “Let's add intelligence into that fantasy. He should be a smartass, caring but not clingy. Anyway, this was all in theory. Boyfriend isn't my first priority, nor second or fourth.”

“Really? Did no one come to mind when you gave that description?”

Natasha's cheeks flushed. “Not at all. I don't pay shit to these shitty things that teens fall victim to.”

“You mentioned 'shit' twice. Is he not worth it?”

“Not at all. He won't date!” Natasha blurted out then realized what she said. She took a swift glance at the clock. “A-ah, look, it's almost the end of the session. Gotta go.”

Thapa nodded along while jotting down some notes. “Fine, I'll let you off but we are going to talk about your secretive crush next time.”

“Imagine, being paid for talking about my crush, puft—” Natasha guffawed as she left the office.

At that time, Natasha's crush was none other than Kunal. As time passed, she began to loathe her sessions less and instead, listened to her therapist. Unfortunately, Doctor Thapa's sessions only lasted till three months until the doctor had to shift to another state. Additionally, Abhishek was unable to pay further while Natasha couldn't afford. Still, Doctor Thapa shared her contact details to Natasha and asked her to call if she felt the need to. She can atleast talk to her for free.

“I hope you find the life and peace you're seeking for, my child. May you find people who will love you for you and support you forever.”

* * *

[Present Day]

“It's been two days, Rithik. I'm more than fine. Kindly leave your ass off this building or I'll do the honors myself,” I warned Rithik after telling him to leave for the umpteenth time. As usual, the jackass turned a dead ear to it. He only left that evening to return with a bag of clothes and accessories. Was this a love hotel?

It was certainly appalling when I woke up to find him bawling like a cartoon character beside me. Apologizing for not realizing about aquaphobia. Did I have it? To some extent, yes. I was scared of swimming into large bodies of water. However, I was fine with drinking water, looking at it and bathing in a shower as long as it didn't trigger my memory. I explained the same to him.

“What memory? Did you drown in the past?”

“Something like that,” I shrugged off. He squinted his eyes at me as if he couldn't believe me entirely. I turned away, hugging my elbow. “It happened a long time ago. Hardly matters.”

“You sure? Clearly it still affects you to this day. You were having nightmares, too. You never swim, do you?”

The nightmares were a different 온라인카지노게임 altogether. “Yes, it still affects me to this day so what?! Do we have to talk about it? I'm not obliged to share each and every detail just because we are lov—”

I clamped my lips on force. My mouth was in a dire need of flushing from the amount of crap it uttered. However, a devious smirk played on the corner of Rithik's lips. He stepped closer. “You said something verrry interesting just now. Can you repeat it again?”

“You must have misheard it.”

“Why do you think I misheard it?

“Perhaps I didn't say anything.”

“Then, why are you blushing?”

“I'm not!”

“You are.” Rithik walked around the house in a sing-sang voice. Even Khushboo heard it and asked what was up. “Natasha and Rithik are lovers. We are lovers, loovers~”

“We are so not!!” I yelled behind him. My ears burned from hearing that despicable sentence repeatedly. Just as he opened his mouth to start it again, I pulled his collar to peck him on his lips. We parted, looking at each other briefly. “There, you finally stopped it.”

Rithik simply peered at me, tapping his chin in thought. Eventually, he clicked his fingers as if he found gold. “I just had a bombastic idea!”

“Bomb it. I loathe it already.”

“Oh, you're gonna love it, baby!” He grinned. In his excitement, he forcefully twirled me around as if we were in a fucking ballet. After spending a few minutes in getting ready, he took his bag to the door. “Spare some time in the evening and meet me in our usual spot.”

“And what makes you think I'll do that?”

“It will be accompanied by sex, don't worry,” He said and winked as if that's supposed to convince me. He kissed my cheek. “Wear something nice. See ya!”

* * *

If you knew me by now, you'd know I wouldn't willingly spread my legs on surprises. Yet my two stubborn, ass bitches played a life alternating role in dressing me up like an enchanting witch and prepping me up with lessons about love. Gee, thanks, ladies!

So here I was, in front of the door of Rithik's family apartment. Obviously his parents weren't there.

“If you're done gawking at me, can we please proceed?” I said to Rithik as he sized me up in my black one piece dress draped in a red jacket, red heels and red lipstick. Although I didn't miss a beat in checking him out in his navy blue coat, white shirt and blue pants. “Why are we dressing fancy when you're only inviting me to your home?”

“You'll see.”

In Rithik's pathetic romantic language, he closed my eyes with his palm and walked me until I was told to stop. Cool winds gushed in from where I stood. Either it was a huge window or balcony.

“You can open your eyes now.”

Instinctively one's attention goes to the prettiest thing in the room when they open their eyes. Mine went to well... everywhere.

It was a balcony, alright. The whole balcony was lit in gold. From golden rice lights coiled like a twig around the balusters to the star shaped lights around the ceilings. The corners of the space were filled with pots of different plants and flowers. Even the floor was laid with an artificial grass mat. Amongst all these, stood a table for two lit by two red scented candles.  The wind chime played it's tune against the fleeting wind, accentuating the vibe of this space.

Basically the whole setup screamed romance.

“Wait! Are you gonna propose me?” I  jumped straight to the gun, astounded as Rithik entered with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“No ‘wow’, no ‘awesome’, really? After all I did to decorate this shit.” He looked back at me, aghast.

“Forget that. Kindly be a darling and snap a few photos of me. This is totally Insta worthy!” I beamed, already taking a few selfies with my phone. Rithik let out a heavy sigh before taking my phone to click photos. I nearly giggled. Poor guy!

At the end of the shoot, I called Rithik to take a picture of us together. Come to think of it, we rarely had those. Like a simpleton, his face glowed like the lights behind us. He simply dug the word ‘together’ too much. Love-sick dunce!

It was only when Rithik caught me gazing longingly at the balcony did he realize. He was bringing starters to the table. “You do like the getup, don't you?”

“Well, since you took the pain to decorate it, I'm obliged to say thank you.” When he continued scowling, I gave in. “I love it. It's like you created a piece of paradise inside this home.”

“Phew! I thought you'd be mad or something.”

“I was about to but this place changed my mind,” I pulled his hand, urging him to sit on the other chair. “I'm not a guest, Rith. You can bring the rest later. Let's eat.”

His eyes widened when I offered the first bite of roasted paneer to him. “You're acting funny, Patil. I'm supposed to be surprising you, not the other way around.”

You're the reason I'm acting this way! I wanted to say but instead replied. “Just eat, dumbfuck.”

* * *

“Sorry, I couldn't make anything besides roasted paneer 'cause I was too busy decorating the balcony. The food order is going to take a while,” Rithik informed, his face apologetic.

I waved a dismissive hand. “It's okay. I'm not that hungry anyways.”

None of us exchanged many words after that. The waiting time became an awkward affair. I didn't peg him as a nervous wreck but with the way he was checking his phone from time to time while tapping his foot stated otherwise. We both knew why we were here so why wasn't he speaking boldly like usual? It was making my insides churn.

Rithik cleared his throat, compelling me to raise my head away from my phone. The moment our eyes met, we blushed and looked away. What was with our teenage- like attitude?

“Erm, I wanted to say this is officially our first date as a boyfriend- girlfriend. If it wasn't clear already,” He announced, nodding to himself. A second later, he facepalmed in embarrassment. It was then I realized the reason behind his hesitant behavior.

He was scared of rejection.

I believe that day will come. A day when I'll ask you out and you'll finally say yes. When the two of us will be together in every single way. And mind you, I don't want any romantic or unromantic girl. I only want you.

Rithik poured his heart out for the first time. Infact, he had been making efforts ever since then without trying too hard. Even now, he went out of his way to prepare a romantic dinner for us. Of course he would be shitting inside.

I'll wait until you're ready to be with me.

Right now he looked so vulnerable and open. Before I knew it, I took his hand in mine. “Are you okay with someone like me?”

He withdrew his hand away, letting out an annoyed sigh. “Someone like you? Why the fuck do you keep saying that? It pains me to think how lowly you view yourself. Do you seriously think you're beneath the rest?”

“Um, no, not exactly...”

“Then, why can't you just—” Rithik inhaled a breath, intentionally stopping himself from speaking any further. He stood up. It seemed like he had a lot on his mind but was holding himself back. This was supposed to be a special occasion but I wasn't making it any better. Do you despise me now?

Silence stretched on, increasing the tension between us. It was starting to get suffocating. Perhaps I should see myself out before I rot our ‘date’ even further. However, before I could act on it, Rithik pushed the chair to sit down, looking dead in the eye. “Forget about me choosing you. Why do you think you shouldn't be with me or anyone else romantically? Is that why you chose to be in casual relationships? Because you deemed yourself unworthy. Because you think you don't deserve love?”

“N- no, I chose this lifestyle for myself. I became accustomed to the point where I didn't want to go out of my comfort zone. Also, I've never been in a situation like this.” I voiced out. Translation: I never fell deeply for any man I hooked up with.

“Then what about me? Is there something wrong with us? Loving someone is totally normal.”

“I just don't get it.” I balled my fists.

“Get what?”

“What do you see in me? What did I do so different that made you love me? It's not like I made a profound impact on your life.”

“Oh my God! It's like you're mocking my feelings for you,” A few seconds later, Rithik faced me again “Think back. Did no one ever say they loved you? Parents? How about your beloved sister? She must have said it sometime. Did you make a profound impact in her life? No, right. Love might have its reasons but it doesn't need to have one. They love you for you. That's all.”

All this time, it felt like he wasn't speaking to me, but rather my broken soul. He was trying to seek me out and it shook me from inside. What he said was all valid then why was I asking those questions? I asked myself. He asked me the same question I had been asking myself.

Then my inner voice rewarded me with the kind of answer that teared me up. I finally knew why I was doubting myself all this time. My throat clogged up. Rithik seemed to sense my vulnerability as he shifted closer and cupped my cheek. I let him. I let my walls down.

“I don't think my family ever loved me, Rith. Maybe when I was a little child but not later. Except Mitali. I looked and looked at them, hoping one day they would see me differently. They don't, and it aches me every single day. Perhaps something's wrong with me.”  Perhaps I never deserved love.

It was this doubt that hacked everything else in my life, including my self-worth. There were some things my logical brain knew better but my emotional self couldn't catch up with it. I couldn't continue any further as I buried my head on the table. Why was I behaving like a pussy? I covered my mouth to suppress my cries.

“No, no, Nat, there's nothing wrong with you. I can vouch for that. Look here...” Just as Rithik said that, his mobile rang. It was a Zomato call from the delivery man. He attended that, confirming his address. A minute later, there was a sound of the door bell. By the time, he brought dinner to the table, I washed my ruined make-up face and calmed down. My mouth watered at the sight of a sizzler decorated with different veggies dipped in chilly sauce. He also ordered noodles on the side. “You like it? You can order something else if you like.”

“I'm surprised you didn't order samosa like usual.”

“I resisted the temptation. Don't worry my dear samosa, I'm coming for you tomorrow.”

I giggled which in turn made him laugh as well. We shared a brief look before settling down to eat. What surprised me was he didn't comment or console on the outburst I had. Instead we were teasing and laughing at each other. I appreciated that. I voiced out the same to him.

He let out a nervous laugh, rubbing his neck. “I wanted to, but didn't know any right words to say. I can't imagine your situation since I never faced it, fortunately. It must be tough... Although if you marry me, you'll get very nice in-laws in return. Once my parents approve of you, they will love you like their own daughter, I can guarantee that. Whatever I am today is because of their love and support. Plus, you'll get to meet my eccentric relatives.”

I nearly choked on my drink. “Well, aren't you the optimist? Skipping straight to marriage.”

“Says the one who skipped straight to sex without a relationship.” He winked while I rolled my eyes. “Besides, I'm just playing out a possibility. Anything can happen in five years.”

“Exactly. Anything can happen.”

“Bitch.”

I simply threw a flying kiss in return. Of course the jackass took this as a pleasant sign of seduction as he dragged my chair right next to him with me still seated.

“Better.” Rithik draped an arm around my shoulders and caressed my hair. “Now tell me— what will it take you to say ‘yes’ to me?”

“And what will it take you to accept my ‘no’?”

“Meanie.” Rithik muttered, kissing the nape of my neck. Did he seriously think being cute would do the trick? Although I secretly heart it. He began to describe the things he would do if I dated him, including places, affectionate gestures, gifts and what not. It was as if he was describing a holiday package. I couldn't help but listen with a sick smile. My inner protests were getting quieter with each passing word from his mouth. I couldn't take it anymore.

“Shh!” I suddenly interrupted his rambling, placing a finger on his lips. I gazed at this handsome hunk for all that he was, for all feelings he incited in me. I placed a chastised kiss on his cheek, nose, and lips. “I love you, too.”

Rithik blinked once, twice then thrice. I couldn't blame him. Someone like Natasha Patil had confessed to him in plain- ass words while being sober. Of course he'd be stunned.

“Does that mean...?” He covered his mouth, blinking off his wet eyes. “you're willing to be in a serious relationship with me? Please, please tell me you're not joking.”

“Screw this, do I have to spell it out to you? And stop being such a wuss,” I grumbled while wiping his eyes with my palm. I continued to touch his face. “What do you do to me? I can never understand. Perhaps I'm whipped too, since I'm always doing something I've never done before. But since it's you, my Rithik, I've got no choice but to say yes. Yes, I'll be your hot, knockout girlfriend.”

In a flash, I was pulled into his embrace as Rithik sighed happily, saying yes, yes, yes. A smile escaped my lips and I couldn't help but hug him back as well. As cheesy as it sounded, it did feel like time had stopped as we basked in the moment. Of course that wasn't enough for him. He stood us up, dragging me along and did some sort of celebratory dance. Talk about the epitome of cheesiness.

“Now what?” I titled my head to him when he spaced out for a moment.

“I have a song for you. It almost sums up what I'd like to say to you.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes but for today, just for today, I was willing to excuse everything on his name. “Fine.”

I recognized the song within the first few beats. When Rithik began lip-snycing to it, I barfed.

Tumhe dekhta hoon toh sochta hoon bas yahi,
Tum joh mera saath do,
Saare gham bhulake
Jee loon muskurake zindagi,
Tu dede mera saath thaam le haath
Chahe joh bhi ho baat,
Tu bas dede mera saath...

(Whenever I look at you, I come across this sole thought,
If you'll be by my side
You'll forget all sorrows
And live your life smiling along
Just take my hand and be by my side
No matter what happens
Just take my side)

I simply smiled on his goofy smile, feeling just as much as the other person. Alas, my efforts to push him away had been in vain. Some incidents had been unintentional such as the one where I panicked because of water. I seriously hoped he would ditch my ass after seeing my fucked up side since I couldn't. I wasn't a girlfriend material, nor someone you proudly showed off to your parents. Either Rithik was a masochist or he cared too much about me. In the end, the voices inside my head quietened down and I gave in. I loved him and there was no other way around that. I simply hoped it was worth it.

Worth enough to not stir up trouble in my life.

* * * * * * * * * *

They are finally, finally going out. Natasha said yes! ☺ What do you think? Did you like Rithik's romantic setup? How will their relationship fare? Kindly vote and comment.