Healing Draco Malfoy

Chapter 48

Published: 8/25/2022

Harry felt nervous as he stood outside Draco's door. Despite getting his terse note, he was still afraid that Draco had been hurt by his three-day absence. He was embarrassed, too, that he had let the firewhiskey rule him so completely. He wasn't an angry, abusive drunk... no, Harry had been the sad, crying drunk who avoided his pain. Fuck... this was going to take a long time to recover. He had no idea how to sleep without drinking or potions.

"Hey, Harry," Joel said, quietly, as he came from the lift.

Harry suspected Nat was around the corner, but she hadn't left her desk. He put up the Muffliato Charm anyway. "Hey," he murmured, staring at the wall next to Draco's door.

"How are you doing?" he asked, maintaining a reasonable distance. Harry appreciated that.

"Okay, I guess. Nothing... bad."

"Ron called me. I... I told him what potions would be beneficial... for someone quitting drinking. I hope I didn't overstep."

Harry shook his head. "No, Joel. Thank you... for answering his theoretical questions. I... I wasn't really capable of... taking care of myself. You were right."

Joel frowned. "I'm just glad you're okay. Can I ask...if you have any symptoms still?"

"Just the shakes, really," he said, still avoiding Joel's eyes. He didn't like being a failure to him.

"They'll go away soon. How are you handling... urges?" Joel asked.

Harry almost smirked, despite his embarrassment. Joel was his healer, now. That hadn't hit him until then. He wasn't his trainee anymore, nor was he his potion dealer. Joel was, in every respect, treating him like a patient. His patient.

"Okay, I guess. I've been too out of it to really feel anything other than pain."

"It probably will be worse tonight. I don't think that you should be alone."

Harry nodded. "Ron already convinced me to come stay with him for a while."

"Oh, Harry... that's great news. I'm... really, really proud of you."

Harry blushed and dropped his head more. "Thanks."

"Harry, please look at me," he requested.

Harry reluctantly turned and met Joel's soft eyes. His eyes teared up, unable to fend off the emotions.

"Nothing has changed, Harry. You're still my mentor and my friend. Draco still thinks the world of you," he said, and Harry looked down, blushing more. "The only difference is... you're getting better. This was a great step forward. You've had a lot to deal with, but you're healing. You don't need to be ashamed, because everyone needs a little help every once in a while. And... well... you're still my hero... and Draco's."

Harry shuddered and slowly met his eyes, again. "I need more than just a little help. I shouldn't be a healer. I'm a... bad influence."

"Harry! Don't say that! You... you're the only reason I passed my boards, and I don't mean just bailing me out of the hearing. They were right. My scores were low. I wasn't confident, and I didn't know how to talk to people. You taught me how to use my voice, be a healer, and stand up for my patients... and myself. I would never have passed the boards without the strength and skills you gave me."

Harry lowered his head, again. "I don't have any... confidence left."

"Yes, you do. When it comes to your patients and your staff members, you are... unstoppable. If there is wrong or injustice going on, you will fight it with everything you have. The trial proved that," Joel declared, then he took a deep breath. "Harry... Harry... I want you to consider... having... sessions with me a couple of times a week."

Harry went rigid. "You mean... mind healing?"

Joel shook his head. "No... just counseling... talking. Me and you."

He didn't want to talk to anyone. "I don't know."

"Harry... you said you need help. I don't want you to fall back into the same pattern... the same addiction. You shouldn't have to drink to fall asleep. You shouldn't feel so anxious all the time. Maybe I could help you work through that, slowly... and at a pace you control."

Harry grimaced and looked around. What did he have to lose? "No... mind stuff?"

"None, unless you decide you want to try it."

"I won't. You can't see... that. No one can see that."

Joel nodded. "Even Draco?"

Harry blanched and met his eyes. "Draco?"

"Well... he obviously knows more Legilimency than I do."

Harry went cold. He never wanted to see it, again, either.

Joel's voice was tender. "We can talk about it... maybe in the future, okay? You don't have to decide now. Small steps are always better, Harry."

He breathed easier, and everything didn't seem as... suffocating. Maybe there was something to talking with Joel. "Okay."

"Okay... what?"

"We can... do... sessions."

Joel perked right up. "Harry... that's great! Sorry, I-I don't want to overwhelm you, but I'm really glad. Remember, we are just talking, nothing crazy. We stop at any time."

Harry smiled at his enthusiasm. "Okay, thanks."

"Why don't you go say hi to Draco? He's waiting for you. I tried... to loosen his muscles up, but he didn't like it," Joel said, with a frown.

Harry looked right at him. "He's okay, though?"

"Yeah, just sore and anxious about you. Do you want me to come in as a buffer?"

"No."

"Alright, well... he's still my noon appointment... so if you want to sit in."

Harry nodded that he understood, but he didn't agree. He already had plans that he didn't want to explain. Joel eventually turned and walked away. Harry removed the wards and walked to Nat's desk.

She pretended like she hadn't known he was there. "Harry! I'm glad you're back!"

"Hi, Nat. Are you okay?"

"Of course, Harry... are you?" she asked, tentatively.

"I think so. What about Draco?"

"Don't worry, Harry. I made him drink all his potions and eat his meals."

He nodded. "Thanks, Nat. When do my appointments start up again?"

"Not for three more days."

Harry nodded. It was a nice break, but all he wanted to do was work with Draco anyway. He frowned as he acknowledged that fact. Some healer he was. He thanked her and turned back to Draco's room. He knocked on the door and heard a "come in" from inside. He hesitantly turned the handle and opened the door.

"Harry?" Draco asked, from his wheelchair.

"Yeah," he mumbled and came in. He shut the door behind him. He didn't meet his eyes.

"You look tired," Draco stated.

"Yeah," he repeated. "I'm sorry I was gone so long."

"I'm not. I'm glad you took some time for yourself."

"Ron... came. Thanks to you."

Draco smirked. "Well, I didn't want you to accuse me of welching on our deal, now would I?"

Harry smiled back and looked at him. Draco looked okay, but he was tense. "No, can't have that. Joel said he tried to... massage you?"

Draco sighed and rolled his shoulders, frowning from the pain. "He did a good job in your stead. It was a little awkward, but I handled it."

"Did you?" Harry asked, curious how Draco's emotional recovery was. Harry hated people touching him, especially his body.

"Well, he couldn't heal as you can, and it felt weird. I knew it was Joel, but...."

"You don't have to explain it to me," Harry said, looking down. "I have to remind myself who it is, too."

Draco nodded. "Yeah. Well... can you...?"

"Of course, hop up on the bed!" he said, and Draco quickly wheeled over and activated his lift.

Harry watched as Draco pulled himself out and onto the bed, but he couldn't help but notice that his legs had also taken some of his weight. He was getting closer.

"Good? I'll get you loose."

Harry didn't waste any time and worked him hard. There were a lot of tears from over-exercise. Joel did what he could, but the exercises that Harry gave Draco to do required healing after each time. He was shaving months, if not years, off his recovery doing it that way. He spent a good two hours working out the tears and stress fractures, and Draco rolled onto his stomach again for another back massage. He was coming along.

"Ready for torture?" Harry joked, when he was done.

Draco sighed and rolled back to face up. "I guess."

Harry chuckled. "I'll give you another long massage at the end, too."

"And you'll fix my hair, too?" Draco grunted.

"Anything for you, your majesty," Harry said, with a smirk.

Draco smiled again, but it turned to annoyance when the exercises started. Draco was still stiff, but he was getting better. He could do more reps and handle more weight now. Draco might not see the difference, but Harry could. He healed his muscles as they went through the exercises, so Draco could do more reps and push his body more. It was nearly noon when Harry gave Draco a break and gave another massage before Joel came.

"Everything go okay?" Joel asked, after Harry let in inside.

"Good. Harry is much better than you at torturing me," Draco said, acidly.

Joel laughed. "You're probably right. Eating lunch with us, Harry?"

Harry shook his head. "I need to see the boss... make sure everything is okay."

"Everything is fine, Harry. She knows what happened and she believes you. You don't have to worry about it," Joel said.

"It's still better that we have a discussion, Joel. I won't be gone long. I'll do your hair after I get back, Draco."

Draco rolled his eyes, but he nodded and got in his wheelchair. Joel seemed to be debating his words. He probably wanted to join him.

"I'll be fine, Joel," Harry said and walked out the door.

Nat was just bringing in the potions for Draco, and the lunch delivery was down the hallway, delivering in the Potions Lab. Harry took the lift to the head's office. He knocked on her door and opened it after she told him to enter.

"Harry! I certainly wasn't expecting to see you today!" Head Healer Convaba said, putting down her fork. He had caught her at her lunchtime as well.

"Sorry to drop in," he said, staring at the floor. Joel's words weren't enough for him. He needed to know his job was safe.

"It's completely fine, Harry. Are... you... coming back, already?" she asked, hesitantly.

"If I still have a place here, that is," Harry said, looking at the floor.

She gasped, "Oh, Harry... I'm so, so sorry that you've been worried about your... employment! But, of course, nothing has changed. You're still the head of your ward. You were the victim in that horrible conspiracy. I-I can't believe that they... would do that. I have ordered a full internal investigation of the incident and... honestly... the lack of oversight in what happened. I must apologize for my failure to act or intervene at any point during the incident. I... I am actually considering stepping down."

Harry looked at her, horrified. "You didn't do anything!"

"That's the point, Harry... Healer Potter. I never stepped in. I never acted on your complaints and your reports of... malpractice. What he did... they did... violates every oath to heal they ever have taken. They might have done the deeds, but I let it happen. I am so sorry."

Harry dropped his head. "I don't want you to go."

"It's getting near retirement time for me, Harry, and it's time. We need fresh blood running this place. People who will open eyes and propose new solutions, and that is not me."

"You let me have my clinic."

"Yes... and your protégé, but I would never have thought of them."

"I'm more afraid that new head will... not support... free-thinking..." Harry whispered, his fear mounting. It had always been Head Healer Convaba who had supported his clinic over the years and had let an alcoholic, traumatized, PTSD-damaged healer work in her hospital. He had always been a liability that most people wouldn't have suffered.

She gave him a hard look. "You have more friends than you know... especially now. I'll have you know that many on the hospital board are getting sacked. The ones that supported Higgs and have had complaints against them for favoritism, including Pratt."

Harry nodded. Maybe a shake-up was good, but he had complaints against him, too.

"Harry, I've sent... a contract... or rather a settlement offer to your... well, to Mr. Malfoy's barristers, the Patils, to look over. You know them, I believe? But the hospital will have many fines, awards and judgements issued against them in the near future for what has happened. I wanted to put several insurance clauses in your contract to... guarantee your position in the future. We are offering early tenure, which requires the whole board's approval to remove you from your position. Joel is the head of mental health, now, if you didn't know. We have also offered you a raise and a monetary award for your... pain and suffering."

"I don't need money," Harry murmured, but was starting to feel... better. At St. Mungo's, it took twenty-five years to get tenure. He had five.

"Why don't you look it over? You will have considerable bargaining power to dictate your settlement after what happened to you on hospital grounds by another healer."

She handed him the parchment, and he unrolled it, skimming it. It had a lot of legalese that the Patil twins would have to explain to him, but the amount of the payoff and raise was substantial.

"That's a lot of coins," he said, looking at her.

"We just lost three department heads, five board members and about twelve healers. Many had outrageous salaries from their positions. It won't fill the gap even if we promote and fill their spots."

Harry snorted, but he didn't want his vaults getting fuller, or with that amount... having to get another vault. Ideas were forming in his head. He wanted to fix it so it wouldn't happen again. Fix it so healers and wardens work together and patients get the needed care. He even thought about how he was trained and how inept Joel was at first.

"I... hmmm... would the board consider... negotiating the terms?"

"Of course. We just wanted... to put something out there. I'm sure you could get more... if you wanted."

Harry nodded. "I don't need the galleons. I want this not to happen, again. I want to propose major changes to the hospital infrastructure."

Head Healer Convaba's eyes widened, and she smiled. She set her salad aside and pulled out some blank parchment. "Fire away, Harry, and I'll get it over to legal to see what we can do."

Harry bit his lip. He wasn't anticipating this, but there had always been some fixes he had thought of over the years. The hospital needed to change and not rely on cronyism.

"I want the establishment of a Witch and Wizard Relations Department with clear protocols with complaints regarding harassment, patient-privacy violations, negligence, and other issues. I shouldn't have to go to the MMMB for everything."

"Okay."

Harry wasn't sure if she meant to keep going or not, but he went for it. "I want a restructuring of the hospital wards. I want division heads with oversight over them. Three or four departments for the division leader, like mine, Susan's Emergency Department and Sara's Spell Damage department would be under one division, Healing. Potions, Magical bugs and creature attacks would be another, and another could be legal, WWR and administration. Something where someone is watching over the department heads and promoting cooperation, transfers, training and communication."

"That... is a good idea, Harry," she said and wrote several long paragraphs on her parchment. "Do you have any others?"

"I... umm... want the training program restructured, too. Ethics, reporting incidents and patient care should be stressed more. Trainees shouldn't be... insulted and shunned, and mentors should be assigned throughout their training. I also want training established after the healers get their license when new procedures are established."

She smiled, though his list was getting hefty. "Got it."

"I want this separation between warden and healer to be dealt with. Bullying be discouraged and those involved punished. I want a head warden position established and a seat be given on the hospital board to that head."

This time, she looked at him, surprised.

"A seat on the board. They deserve a say in what happens. There are more wardens than healers in the hospital."

She nodded. "Alright, anything else?"

Harry grimaced and thought about what happened to him when he was brought into the Emergency Department five years ago and to Draco when he first arrived. He even thought of Neville's parents and living stuck in those small rooms. The place where he was nearly trapped as well.

"I don't want what happened to me to Dra-Mr. Malfoy to happen again. I want procedures developed for handling mental health referrals. I want mind healing to require approval to attempt entering their mind. I want sensitivity classes for all healers and wardens about assault victims. I also want... more funds dedicated to long-term patients. Those rooms... shouldn't be the only place that they go. A day room, an outdoor space, and group and individual therapy should be built and maintained. I want Joel to have the means to... improve their lives rather than focus on mind healing."

She nodded and wrote it down. "I will look into it."

"Thank you."

"If there is anything else, please let me know."

Harry nodded and got up. "Thank you for... offering it."

"You deserve it, Harry," she said.

He went back downstairs feeling better than he had in weeks. He returned to Draco's room and caught the end of their lunch. He didn't tell them what he had just done as he wasn't sure that the hospital would agree to any of it. After Joel left, Harry guided Draco through another long workout and another massage before he got Draco back in his chair to clean and brush his hair out.

"Didn't feel like doing it yourself? Or asking Joel to do it?" Harry asked as his fingers kneaded through Draco's hair. Harry couldn't deny he enjoyed doing this, but Draco had brushed his own hair before now.

"I like it when you do it. Spa treatment, after all. Commanding Joel around just isn't the same. The blue bottle next," he ordered, lifting his chin up.

"Yes, your highness," Harry said and pulled it out of the drawer that he had stashed the potions in. He rubbed the cream salve in and Draco's hair was shinier. It gave it a nice sheen and it was healthier.

Draco hummed in delight as his fingers massaged his scalp.

"It's nice," Harry murmured, enjoying the smell, but refrained from leaning in. "I'm surprised you trust me with your hair. You always took such good care of it when we were younger."

Draco laughed. "I did, but you proved that you aren't totally incompetent doing it."

"Doesn't mean I can't tease you," Harry said and lifted Draco's hair up above his head. He used a stasis charm to hold it in place and made long spikes with his hair.

"Potter," Draco growled, as he turned his head up and eyed him.

"Yeah, Malfoy?"

"What are you doing?"

"Playing with your hair," he said with a chuckle.

Draco sighed, but let him form his hair without any more complaints. He was smirking. Harry was, too, as he crafted his masterpiece based on muggle death metal musicians he had seen on tabloids when he was younger.

"All done!"

Draco eyed him and reached up to touch the long spikes that were nearly a foot off his head. Harry summoned the mirror and let him see his handiwork. Draco glared at him.

"Potter, you best fix it before anyone sees it!"

"Oh, I think I'll get a Pensieve photo of this for you."

Draco rammed his ankle with his wheelchair.

"Oww!" he jumped back.

"If anyone sees this... I will exact revenge!" he hissed.

Harry rubbed his foot but smiled anyway. "Will you?"

"Yes... very painful and humiliating revenge... involving a pink tutu."

Harry looked at him. "You know what a tutu is?"

"Do you want to find out?" he huffed.

Harry smiled and released his spell. Draco's hair tumbled gracefully down to his head and he relaxed. Harry brushed it out again and applied a few more potions at Draco's direction. He put the brush and stuff away and then came around to face Draco.

"You haven't asked... about what happened," Harry stated.

"I will listen if you want to talk about it. I imagine it was painful and exhausting. Do you want to tell me...."

"No. I'm just... sorry I left you alone for so long."

"I wasn't alone, Harry. You helped me open up, talk to people, and allow others to touch me. You did that, Harry, and honestly, I needed some space, too. We can't solely depend on each other, Harry. It was difficult with Joel, but I got through it. Just as you relied on Weasley, it's okay to let other people in... though it'd be easier if it were just... us."

Harry sat in the chair and nodded. "You are healing, Draco, in every respect. You were right... what you said... before. That I was in survival mode. Everything feels... sharper. Joel... wants me to do sessions. Not mind healing, just talking."

Draco nodded. "I'm glad. I resisted at first, Harry. It was about... training him, but it didn't take much to start talking about... what happened with someone I trust. He's helped me a lot... just having someone to talk to that is there to listen and can help me... understand things. Of course, I enjoy our talks. You got me to trust, again, but I have to be careful... on what I say to you. There are things we haven't talked about yet. Things I did... to you. Things that are hard to talk about."

"You... I don't mind you talking to Joel. You don't have to explain yourself."

"It's not just that. You hold back too? Don't you? You can't tell me everything... yet. Things are difficult, right now anyway, for us, but I want you to see that Joel...he can help. You can talk to him. About anything."

Harry nodded. "I understand. I will try. I just been so used to holding everything in."

"Yeah... I know, Harry, really, I do."

They sat quietly at the table for several minutes, and Harry looked at his chair. "Draco?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you're ready."

Draco looked wary. "Ready for what?"

Harry stood up, turned Draco's wheelchair outward and locked the wheels in place. Draco looked even more nervous. Harry knelt in front of him.

"I think you're ready to try standing up."

Draco's eyes widened, and he was shaking. "I don't know... my legs are...."

"...weak, I know. But it's time. We are just standing up, not walking or doing anything crazy."

Draco took in a shaky breath and nodded.

Harry lifted his feet one at a time to turn the footrests up and then set them on the floor. "Alright, I'll assist you if you need it. It's going to be rough the first week getting up. You're using your triceps to lift your body. Put your hands on the ends of the armrests and get a good grip. Wiggle your body to the edge of the seat and plant your feet firmly on the floor. Okay?"

Draco nodded, and though he was shaking, a fierce look of determination was forming. He wanted it, even if he was nervous.

"Alright, you're in a position to try. You can rock back and forth to get some momentum to try lifting your butt up, just like the raises we've been doing. But now you have to push up further, using your quads and let go of the armrests. You can grab onto me to help you with getting up the rest of the way. I'll grab onto your arms to help you and stabilize you, alright? Give it a go when you're ready."

Draco rocked and moved his feet into position a few times before he took a deep breath and lifted up and out of his seat. His arms were wobbly, and his legs weren't responding well, but Draco managed to get off the seat and let go of the armrests to grab him. Harry pulled him up the rest of the way until Draco was vertical, though gripping his robes for dear life. Harry had a firm grip on him, but Draco's feet were holding him up. Harry slowly let go and then pried Draco's fingers off his robes until he let go.

"You're standing, Draco... all by yourself," Harry whispered.

Draco was still taller than him by an inch or two, and he was shaking from the effort, but he was standing. His eyes were misty as the emotion of it overtook him. He was coming back to life. His legs started shaking more and then gave out as Draco crashed into him, wrapping his arms around his back and hugging him tightly. Harry took on most of his weight, as Draco buried his face into his shoulder and cried for a long time.