Healing Draco Malfoy

Chapter 46

Published: 7/20/22

Draco turned his chair to watch the door open as Harry returned from taking Hugo and Rose to their grandmother's house. Harry was staring at the floor, as he was wont to do, when he was nervous. The kids had been amazing to see. So full of life and innocence that it almost made Draco tear up. He enjoyed meeting them, and though he understood that Harry was putting off this meeting a bit, he wondered if Harry was gauging him in a different way. To see if he could handle kids, but that seemed a bit too direct.

"The kids get there safely?" Draco asked.

"Yeah. They had a good time, Draco. Sorry to spring them on you."

"It was fine. Wonderful, even. They're great kids."

"Sorry, they were a bit overzealous."

Draco felt plenty of bruises forming from when Hugo had been climbing all over him and Rose had sat on him. "Nah, it was worth it to see you turn into a tomato."

Harry blushed furiously, again. "Stop... it's just a game I play with them."

"Kiss the boo-boo to make it better? Yes, Potter. Wizards have been pulling that game on their kids for years," Draco drawled. His mother had, too, even after he knew she was healing it with magic.

Harry nodded. "Sorry that he just blurted it out, though."

"Yes, if only it actually worked in this case," Draco said, smirking.

Harry looked at the floor, again, embarrassed.

"I think you owe me something, Potter," Draco added, making Harry meet his eyes, a bit worried that he meant a kiss. "You missed our weekly body massage appointment, and that quick one earlier did not count."

Harry breathed easier and smirked. "As you wish, your highness."

Draco wheeled over to the bed, activated the lift and managed to pull himself back onto the bed with sure hands. Every day it had gotten easier and his arms stronger. Harry let him position himself on the bed and then worked his muscles slower and more intensely than ever before. Every one of his muscles was kneaded and reenergized with that wild, healing magic of his.

Harry seamlessly transitioned into a leg workout, and all the serenity of the massage was replaced with sweat and exertion as Harry made him push and pull every muscle in a series of exercises. Then he massaged him out again, had him drink some more potions and then started the whole process over again. Harry had never worked him so hard. He said it was to make up for the days off, and that he had no other patients today.

Draco grunted through the pain as he flexed and twisted his muscles. Harry never took it easy, and though Draco didn't understand why he had to move his leg a certain way, he knew Harry was happy every time he managed a complete set.

"Right, let's do more rotations of your ankles, Draco," Harry said, as he massaged the muscles in his feet, loosening them.

This wasn't a particularly hard exercise to do, but it was a little painful, though. Harry would not let him run through it just once or twice. No, he pushed him to go further to the side, listening to the cracking of his ankle bones, then kneading them until they stopped. He had him point his toes backward and forward while doing it, and then several times wiggling his toes. It was hard to do things at the same time.

Just when he started to get angry and frustrated, Harry massaged them again and said, "Alright, inflate your pillows to max, so you're sitting up."

Draco swallowed nervously. He thought that after nearly two full workout sessions, Harry was almost done. Switching to the sitting position meant several more exercises. He still did it, though, as he grumbled under his breath. Harry had already removed the blanket covering him, and he was just in pants, really. He hated how skinny and weak looking his legs were, though they were looking considerably better than when he arrived. He didn't consider them bony anymore. His muscles were coming back, undoubtedly due to Harry's efforts more than his.

Harry rolled the stool to his side and rubbed the top of his upper leg. "These are your quads. That's where most of your leg strength comes from. I just want you to tighten the muscles and release them. There, like that."

Draco was barely moving anything, but Harry seemed pleased with his movements. Draco grunted, "Doesn't seem like much. Thought you'd be working me more."

Harry met his eyes and smiled. "No, it's not much, but you're training your muscles to respond to commands. It's called muscle memory for a reason, and memories fade over time."

"And I haven't used the muscles in six years," Draco finished as he did another set for Harry.

Harry looked down and nodded. "Exactly. It's not just the muscles we are training. It's the nerves to your spine that go all the way to your brain. You haven't moved in so long that everything needs physical therapy. That's what we are doing. I'm kinda surprised that you don't get light-headed moving around."

Draco grimaced and met his eyes. Truthfully, he did often feel woozy even wheeling around his room, especially with the kids earlier, but he didn't say anything.

"Draco, you should tell me these things," Harry said, understanding his silence. "Did the kids push you too much?"

"It went away quick enough. I'd rather not ruin the mood."

"Just tell me. I'll also show you some spatial orientation exercises to help build your equilibrium back up. Alright, now, the other leg."

Harry did five more exercises of increasing difficulty from the sitting position until Draco was sweaty and grumpy, again.

"I help you, and you spend the day torturing me!" he growled as Harry kneaded his leg muscles loose after some sitting leg presses. Draco regretted his tone, though. Harry was on the mend, after all.

Thankfully, Harry didn't flinch and chuckled. "Yeah, that's how it goes."

Draco was kinda surprised at his laugh as Harry seemed a bit vulnerable. However, Draco had taken Harry's words to heart after the trial. Harry liked when Draco snapped at him. He wanted him to talk, whether it was biting or not.

"But three hours of torture is enough, I suppose. Let's get you loose," Harry said, and did another long, soothing, yet enduring, massage.

Draco was nearly jelly by the time he was done and was fighting unconsciousness.

"Anything still tight, or you want more done, Draco?" Harry said, working his hands, again.

Draco hmmed and then realized that his back was a bit out of whack. Harry never rolled him since he had healed his hips.

"Can you do my back?"

"Of course," Harry said and made to slip his hands under.

"No, rotate me and do it right," Draco said, and Harry stared, silently. "I'll be fine. It's you, Harry. I know your magic, your touch. I'll be okay."

Harry nodded. "I'm just going to put you on your side, for now, to see how it goes."

Baby steps, Draco thought pointedly and moved at Harry's direction to the side of the bed. Harry gently pulled his shoulder out from Draco as Harry assisted him in the movement. It was strange to be on his side, but it felt good, stretching out in a way he hadn't in a long time. Harry thought he would be upset, as he had spent years lying facedown on a bed. However, he'd just spent the last few months on his back. He needed variety.

Harry carefully began massaging his back, now with both hands free and no mattress in the way. Draco knew it'd be better, more intense if he were on his stomach, but he could wait until Harry was comfortable with it. He just let the feel of Harry's sure fingers press and rub into his pressure points all the way up his spine. Merlin, it felt so good as Harry kneaded days, weeks, years of tension out. He was relaxing more and more as Harry's deft hands extracted out the last vestiges of pain.

Draco could see Harry's face as he turned his head to watch. Harry always had his eyes closed, if he was really into it, and he definitely was, now. His face wasn't lined with worry or pain but concentration. Harry always looked and felt better after healing him. It's what brought him happiness in an otherwise dark life. He even looked adorable as he bit his lip as he worked a tough knot above Draco's hip.

Draco groaned as Harry worked it loose, healing the tears with his soft, comforting magic. Draco loved when Harry did this, and it felt so good. Draco's eyes momentarily blissfully closed, but then opened suddenly. He glanced to his pants, between his legs, where there was undeniably a bulge. He tried to control his emotions and avoid tensing as Harry would open his eyes and might notice it, too.

It wasn't like his member hadn't ticked upward before when Harry did this, just never a full-blown erection. It was the first time since... those potions were used on him, and it happened against his will. However, he wasn't ashamed of it. He knew how he felt about Harry, as he glanced at Harry's kind face once, again. He just didn't want Harry to be upset by it. Harry wasn't in a mindset to be pushed on those kinds of things. There had been a concern that Draco hadn't even acknowledged that was growing in his mind. He wasn't sure he could ever... get it up... again.

He would have never been able to talk to Harry about that problem, though now, there wasn't one. Harry would have been too embarrassed and ashamed to ask him if his body or mind was irreparably damaged in that regard. Draco remembered their mind-healing session with Joel. Intimacy stared the crap out of Harry, now, and Draco had spoken truthfully, then, too. He didn't know if he could handle someone touching him, again, but his appendage had apparently grown to the idea.

Draco knew erections were an automatic, natural response to stimulation, but he also knew that he wanted something more, too. But Harry didn't. He wasn't ready and now was not the time to bring it up. They had all the time in the world to get comfortable, and there was no need to rush through anything. Draco took action to prevent any issues by turning over more.

Harry's eyes opened. "Draco?"

Draco didn't answer and just rolled onto his stomach without Harry's assistance. Both of his arms were under him, and he straightened his legs out. Merlin, it felt good to stretch out like this, again, and his hard-on was now concealed under him.

"It's fine. It feels good. Go 'head, Harry," Draco said, turning his head on his pillow.

Harry took a few seconds and then carefully began kneading, and it felt even better. Draco knew this was how massages were supposed to work. Harry was just taking it easy on him, worrying over him. But he started pushing and kneading harder as Draco relaxed under him. Harry was adjusting his spine, maneuvering it into place and healing the nerves along the way. Merlin, it felt so good. He closed his eyes and, without meaning to, he fell asleep.

When Draco opened his eyes, he was still on his stomach. The light was on, and his eyes fell on Harry, working at the table. Draco shifted a little, reacquainting himself with his body from a spectacular nap. Harry immediately noticed and rolled over on his stool.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Fabulous. Thank you, Harry."

He looked worried. "You've never fallen asleep before. Did I work you too hard?"

Draco laughed. "Yeah, worked me so hard that I turned to goo and passed out. I felt safe, happy and comfortable, Harry. That's why I fell asleep."

Harry blushed and smiled. "Sorry... I just... I didn't...."

"But if you want to stop torturing me with physical therapy... I'll be okay with that, too."

Harry sighed. "I'm sure. Sorry for worrying. But I didn't want to leave until you came out of it. I wasn't sure how well you could... roll."

"Didn't want me to be trapped. Thanks."

Draco didn't think that it'd be too difficult. He positioned his hands under his shoulders. He scooted closer to the edge and slowly lifted one side to turn onto his side. His legs were harder to get into position, but he got onto his side. Then it was mostly gravity as he turned onto his back. He got settled into his pillows the way he liked.

"Very good, Draco. You're coming along," Harry said, and Draco saw his hand was trembling.

"Harry? Was that three hours of torture you put me through too much on you?"

Harry shook his head, until Draco pointed to his hand. "Oh, that. No... I... umm...."

"What's wrong?" Draco asked, concerned.

Harry lowered his head. "I'm just... it's been three days since I...."

"Since...?" Draco prompted as Harry clammed up.

"I haven't had anything to drink," he whispered, mortified.

Draco's eyes softened, and he held out his hand. Harry took it. "It's okay, Harry, and I'm proud of you, regardless if you intended this or not."

"I'm... I have an addiction."

Draco squeezed his hand, and Harry eventually looked at him. "I'm proud of you for admitting that, Harry. Are you... do you want to try to stop... now?"

Harry had tears coming out of his eyes. "It's so hard. I can't sleep. I woke up last night and... the nightmares came. They weren't... dulled."

Draco squeezed harder. "Harry... drinking is not the way you should... process. I know it hurts. It hurts so much, but you're... making it worse. You're just putting it off for later. You've been putting it off. It's why you haven't healed in five years."

Harry lowered his head. "I couldn't tell anyone. It hurt too much... and look what happened."

Draco pulled Harry closer to his bed. "I understand why you hid what happened, but Higgs was only able to hurt you... because you never got help. Firewhiskey cannot help you like a mind healer could... your friends could. Didn't you feel better after you spoke to Hermione... and Ron?"

"Yeah,... gutted, but... I never thought that they wouldn't help me. I was... scared. This wandless magic didn't go away. I broke the law, and they would have helped me do it. They did... help me do it."

"He deserved it, Harry. Taking his memory of it doesn't change the fact that he deserved life. He hurt all those muggles."

"That's what Ron said."

"Weasley's growing on me. He... was trying to make it easier for me... when we were trying to get you out."

"He said that you were...."

"Scared shitless of him? I was," Draco admitted. "I hurt him, and if there's one person in the world that's owed revenge, it's him, though I know deep down he'll never take it."

"You don't have to be scared of him, Draco. He's... not as stupid anymore," Harry said, with a smile.

"Oh, you're saying that Weasley was a stupid git at school?"

"Kinda. We all were. Stupid, hormonal kids who were in way over our heads."

"Yeah... I'm sorry... for being stupid. For believing what my father told me, for not trying to get out when I could, for being an asshole."

"You don't have to apologize, Draco. You didn't have a choice. None of us did, and I never remembered the stupid pranks we pulled on each other as much as I remember your face, when I was on my knees in front of you... at your house."

"Manor," Draco drawled. Houses were plebian, but it broke the tension a bit.

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes. "You knew it was me, and you chose to shield me."

"Self-preservation. I hated the Dark Lord," Draco grunted.

"It wasn't self-preservation at the Tower, Draco. You didn't know I was there, but I could see you. I watched you lower your wand. I watched you refuse to kill an unarmed man, who was surely about to die anyway. You knew it was wrong, and you knew they would punish you for that."

Draco grimaced. Potter had been there at one of the lowest points in his life, when he finally realized that the Dark Lord was an evil bastard, and he refused to become a killer for him. His mother and father had made their decision, but he wouldn't become a monster. There was nothing eviler than executing someone who was unarmed and injured. Draco had chosen his side that night, though Draco hadn't really understood it, right then.

"I knew he was evil. I knew I wanted none of his... madness. I knew that he would break my will once his war was over. He would never be satisfied why my half-hearted efforts for the cause. I knew that I probably was only alive for my name alone. Sacred twenty-eight. Bastard."

Potter nodded. "You were a kid, Draco. Raised to his servant, but you choose a different path."

"A little too late," Draco said, eyeing his marked arm and wondering how they got there. "Harry... I chose you in the end. I didn't return to him, even when he called his Death Eaters to retreat to the Forbidden Forest. I couldn't go back, not after you saved me from the fire."

Harry blanched. "I couldn't let you die... like that."

"You couldn't let me die at all, Potter. You would save anybody and everybody if you could. How could I not choose you? But Harry... that has taken its toll on you. You need to take care of yourself, too."

Harry wiped the tears out of his eyes. "It's hard, Draco."

"I know, Harry, but... do you really want to live the rest of your life... surviving that way? Drinking isn't a healthy way to cope, to get over what's been done to you."

"I know... I know, Draco, but... I can't sleep. Everything's so real. It fucking hurts... and I remember what... happened," Harry said, cupping his hands over his mouth.

Draco nodded. "Harry... my way of coping... was shutting down, blocking out everything. Blocking out the pain and going into survival mode. Did you like it when I did that?"

Harry straightened up and whispered, "No...."

"Is it that much different than what you do? Do you think I or anyone else can have a meaningful conversation with you?"

Harry's shoulders dropped.

"You're in survival mode, Harry. It's not a way to heal. It's a way to just get to the next day... without getting better, without healing. You will never get better, if you don't stop and process it. I know you're a healer, and I know you know that alcohol is a depressant. It's bad for you, Harry. Just like locking myself in my head is bad for me. You didn't let me stay like that... I don't want you to crash every night."

Harry nodded, somberly. He was listening.

"You have already managed three days. Take two days off, spend some time with your niece and nephew, and get it out of your system. I'll be fine."

Harry looked at the floor. "They can't see me like this. The shakes are only the beginning. It was bad enough, yesterday, them seeing me so... broken."

"Hermione and Ron, then," he said.

Harry's eyes filled with tears, again. "I don't want them there either."

"Harry, you need support. You could stay here... using your cloak?"

"No, if anyone caught me... and I could freak out."

"Joel? He could help you, Harry. No, mind stuff... just being there."

"I don't want help. I'll just do it alone."

"Harry, no. At least, talk to him about how to handle it... please!"

"I don't want to disappoint him. I know that he'll just look at me with a sad look on his face. No, I'll stop on my own, okay? I won't drink anymore," Harry said, his shoulders slumped forward in humiliation.

"Harry, come here, please," Draco said, beckoning him forward. Harry slowly complied, and Draco took his hand. "Harry... I didn't want to push you into doing this. I'll be happy if you do."

"You will?" Harry said, with tears in his eyes.

"I'm already happy... and proud. There's nothing you can do to make me feel less of you, after everything... no, Harry. I could never think that. I will never think that, but please... please talk to Joel. Not because he's a mind healer, but because he's a healer. There are potions to help you get through this. Ease your recovery."

"I don't want it to be easy," Harry growled and tried to pull out of his grip. "I want it to...."

"Harry?"

"Hurt."

Draco's soul hurt just a little, too. "I know, Harry, but I don't want you to be hurt. I don't want you to be in pain, and I don't want you to be alone. What can I do to convince you to talk to the kid?"

"Do?" Harry whispered, meeting his eyes.

"I want you to do something that you don't want to do... and I'm offering to do something now or in the future that you know I won't want to do."

Harry grimaced. "I... don't know."

"Harry, we can do anything you want."

"I... umm... will you... someday... talk to Ron?" Harry asked.

Draco smiled, as he couldn't have picked a better answer.

Harry looked down. "I mean... if it's too much. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"It's perfect, Harry. I'll try as soon as it's convenient. Please, call Joel... Harry."

Harry sighed and winged a Patronus through the wall. They sat at the table in silence and waited about fifteen minutes later, when Joel arrived.

"Harry? Is everything alright? It sounded urgent," Joel said.

"I... was thinking about... stopping... the drinking," Harry muttered, looking at the floor.

"Harry..." Joel said, taking the seat next to him. "That's great if you're considering it. I'm... proud of you. You want me to stay with you? It might be rough."

"No... just... maybe some potions to make it... easier?" he asked, embarrassed.

"Of course," Joel said and started quietly talking about the different potion options, and they eventually decided on two. Joel got several days' worth for him, and Harry thanked him. He asked Joel to come to visit Draco while he took some time off, which Joel agreed. Harry gave Draco a gloomy goodbye and left out the door.

Draco waited until Nat came with his evening potions, and he said, "Nat? Will you ask Head Auror Weasley to come to see me?"

She looked stunned. "Are you sure? You were a bit... scared of him when he was here."

"I'm sure. Please ask him to come," he said and wheeled around the room a few times before settling at the table.

Weasley knocked on the door and slowly opened it. "Malfoy?"

"Yeah, come in," he said, staring at the table.

Weasley came in and shut the door. Draco felt a few sweeping spells, before the Auror, in normal black robes, came to the table and sat down. Weasley adopted a laid-back posture. No doubt trying to make him feel at ease. He sighed and tried to meet his eyes a few times.

"Look, Malfoy... Draco. I don't want to hear any apologies or gratitude. Sweet Merlin, we were kids back then. Bygones, mate. Don't think I did this amazing thing in investigating yer case. It doesn't matter if it was you, my friends, or a serial killer. I would have done it. So, you don't owe me anything... and just leave that childish BS behind us, alrigh'?"

Draco nodded, and slowly met Weasley's concerned eyes. He had to look away, and Weasley waited for him to recover. Draco whispered to the table, "Eye contact is hard. They... tortured me... every time I did it. I was a stubborn asshole in the beginning and always stared them down. They hated that. It didn't take too long to break me from doing it."

"I'm sorry, Draco. I'm sorry that they... hurt you like that."

Draco nodded and glanced at him, again. "Harry... asked me to talk to you. We made a deal."

"Oh?"

"Harry is a... very considerate person. He doesn't talk about his patients or his friends. I have... a great respect for him and his heart," Draco stated and met Weasley's eyes, briefly, again. "He wouldn't tell you about anything that has happened, without my consent. But I am neither a healer nor a Gryffindor."

Weasley had frozen in place. "Where is Harry?"

"Where indeed, Ron?" Draco hedged.

"Is he... alright?"

"Harry's like me... stubborn, isn't he?" Draco said. "I was too prideful to give in, and it made it all worse, somehow."

"I'm going to go," Weasley started, and Draco nodded.

"Yeah, thanks for stopping by... and thank you... for your kindness, Ron."

"You're welcome. Goodnight, Draco," Weasley said, as they met eyes, again. He understood.

"Thanks," he responded as Weasley rushed out the door. Potter never was one to hold grudges, and he needed support right, now.