ONLY ANGEL | JJ MAYBANK

CHAPTER TWELVE

•••

Collins was oblivious to a lot of the things that went down on the island.

She found that most times, she wasn't very up to date on the town gossip and she didn't always have a very good idea on the things that were going on. She didn't have a phone- she never saw the need for one since Charlie was the only person she talked to, thus she had no form of social media to keep up with the island's current events. And they didn't have cable or get newspapers, but even when they did get their hands on some, the event had already come to pass. Take Midsummers for example, one of the most prestigious events of the summer where Figure Eight's finest celebrated at the Island Club to soak up each other's elitism.

It was a night that everyone planned months ahead in advance for. There was food to be catered, drinks to be bartended, live bands to be booked, costumes to be prepared— Midsummers was not a party that happened on a whim. And if you were lucky enough to be there (although it didn't come cheap when you needed an Island Club membership to attend) you would get to experience all the glitz and glamour that most Kooks feel everyday.

Collins had missed out on a lot of Midsummers. It was always something Charlie forgot to mention, then after he worked his shift, would delve into all the details of the night's happenings. She'd always listened to him recount the occasion with an envious twinge in her chest. She'd give anything to go, to just see it once for herself. It was her version of the royal ball.

Another thing that Collins had missed out on, was JJ Maybank's arrest.

She didn't know what had happened. She was completely in the dark. A part of Charlie briefly considered the idea-- while he watched JJ climb into the cop car- that maybe JJ wasn't as selfish as he may have looked at him to be. A selfish person wouldn't take the blame for a crime he didn't commit. He wouldn't have admitted to an audience that he was a no-good kid from the wrong side of the tracks to spare his friend's innocence, unless he was an unselfish person. He must've been smarter than Charlie thought he was, a better guy, someone who put himself before the people he cared about. That would be a trait that Charlie could respect.

However, guilty or not, Charlie didn't want Collins anywhere near it.

If pleading guilty for the destruction of property and getting into fights was the kind of thing JJ did for his friends, Charlie didn't want that rubbing off on Collins. He hoped that she knew that being there for the ones you love was important, that he'd shown her that and that she would take that lesson and apply it to her own life. He just didn't want her taking pages out of JJ's book and getting herself into trouble, thinking she was doing something good while doing it. He didn't want her to destroy herself in order to save someone else.

And Charlie knew that was exactly the sort of thing that she'd do, too.

She'd escaped to the beach that morning, slipping away past Charlie's slumbering body and sneaking out of the house while the sun was rising, its rays stretching like limbs into the sky after a long night's rest.

Another discussion about matters she didn't care to talk about when it was going to be a beautiful day was what brought Collins to her sandy solitude. She didn't have the energy to have it in with Charlie, but then again, she wasn't sure if she ever would.

Basically, that's why the Jacobson siblings hadn't started their day with a fight, which they ordinarily didn't do, but it had felt like it had been coming for a while now. Collins didn't like that it had become that way, so avoidance had become the preferred option. It's also why when Charlie came home after working his shift at Heyward's (which had been pretty tense after what happened with JJ), he'd decided that he didn't want to argue anymore either.

Arguing would only lead to more disagreements that he just couldn't see him and Collins compromising on anytime soon. Therefore, Charlie had come up with a brilliant new plan. He was going to give Collins something, a distraction if you will, and hopefully it would occupy her enough so that she wouldn't have time to think about JJ or do anything that could get her into trouble.

"Collins!" He'd found her at the beach crouched next to a stack of boulders that were covered in barnacles. She was turning something over in her hands, probably a hermit crab or something in a shell. When she heard her name being called, she looked up and gently placed it back in the water for it to be carried back into sea.

"How'd you find me?" She asked, standing up and slowly walking up to him as they met in the middle, she shoved her hands in her back pockets.

Charlie was slightly out of breath from jogging on the way over. Finding her hadn't been that easy, this wasn't his first stop. "I know your spots." He said anyways.

Collins just shrugged indifferently. "Why all the effort?"

"I've had a change of heart." He started, and right away Collins was intrigued. If she were a dog, her ears would've perked up. However, since she very much wasn't, she simply looked at him warily and kept her cool. "I got a job for you. A real one. One that pays."

Okay, so maybe they were compromising. Charlie just wasn't going to present it that way.

Collins straightened her back and furrowed her brows at Charlie. "You're not serious, are you?"

"Dead serious." Charlie said. "It's for the party tonight. Midsummers? The thing you said you've always wanted to go to?"

Yeah, she knew what he was talking about. Collins wasn't picky. It didn't matter if she was going to be working there, taking out trash, mopping the dance floor, or whatever job Charlie had set her up with. She just wanted to see it with her own eyes, be there, witness it. Just once.

Charlie never understood exactly why she was so interested in going. Maybe because she had the idea of fairytales and regency balls stuck in her head as a result of all those stories she read. When he heard there was an opening for another waitress for the event, he figured, what was the harm? Kill two birds with one stone. Although, Collins was still pretty apprehensive of the whole thing, and for good reason.

"Why now all of sudden? Why not give it to Ricky like you do with all your other spare jobs?"

"Come on, Collins." Charlie gazed at her with a blank expression. "Just accept the offer." Deflect, deflect, deflect. He thought to himself. Keeping Collins busy and away from her friends was more important than his stubbornness in restricting her from getting a job.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Collins found herself in a hole dug by her own hands. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? After pressing him for weeks and months, Charlie was finally giving into her requests.

There was a voice in the back of her mind that remained suspicious of the whole thing. Why now? A part of her thought that maybe Charlie was just doing this because he figured that this was the only way to keep her from getting into trouble. And he was smart enough to choose a distraction that he knew she could never turn down.

But then there was also the possibility that Charlie had done the math and realized he was in way over his head if he thought he alone could put Collins through college. And it's not to say that Collins thought that her help would do the job, but it was better than nothing. She knew that this was something that Charlie would never admit, being that he was too proud and all. Not to mention that Collins would never make him say the words out loud either-- she was too compassionate in that way.

So she didn't question it. She tucked her lips into a self-effacing smile and accepted Charlie's proposition.

And Charlie, he couldn't help but feel pretty pleased with himself-- at least he did at first, but it was soon overtaken by a sense of rightly-deserved guilt.

That guilt stuck with him throughout the rest of that afternoon to evening time. As Collins stepped out wearing the white button up shirt and black vest that all the waiters had to wear at Midsummers, she looked so eager for the night ahead. Charlie had already planned on asking the manager at the hotel if she could get a job as a lifeguard at the pool, but was quickly realizing that the weird feeling he was experiencing at the pit his stomach was shame. Shame that the only reason why he was letting her do this was to keep her away from the only friends she'd ever had.

It wasn't like he didn't want her to be happy, he'd always wished she'd find someone other than him to depend on. It was just unfortunate that the people she could call companions, the only ones she'd ever had in her life, were terrible influences.

The next part he really should've seen coming-- and Charlie felt pretty stupid that he hadn't- but he didn't exactly think things through well enough in his attempt to keep Collins from the Pogues. In fact, he did a shit job all around, because he hadn't anticipated that Pope and his dad would be the caterers for the event, and Kie would be a formal guest attending with her family.

Charlie felt like a total idiot when they walked in and there they were. Collins lit up at the sight of them and left his side to meet them and before Charlie could stop her. His manager was in his face, giving him orders and grief for not coming earlier. He was meant to be serving drinks while Collins served hors d'oeuvres, how could he watch her now? All the debutantes wanted to get shit-faced, it was the most constant thing that happened at Midsummers. His hands were going to be full with liqueurs and mixers, all night.

Not to mention, that he'd kept the news of JJ's arrest from her, and now she was undoubtedly going to find out about it from Kie and Pope. Charlie hadn't wanted her to know because he knew she would be ridden with worry; so much so that he didn't think she'd be able to do her job or enjoy any aspect of this night that she'd wished to see for so long. Once again, her mind would be overburdened with concern for JJ and he needed to keep it clear of such thoughts.

He watched painfully as Collins carried an empty tray over to Pope's food table, where he and Kie stood next to each other conversing. When they saw that it was her approaching, both of their eyes widened in surprise.

"Collins!" Kie greeted. She looked absolutely gorgeous. Collins looked over her purple satin dress longingly; she'd never be able to wear a dress like that in her lifetime. Only Kie could pull it off with such effortless elegance.

"Hey guys," Collins said, "can you believe it? Charlie actually let me go to a party after what happened last night. Granted, I'm working, but still."

Pope chuckled. "Yeah, nice penguin suit." He nodded at her outfit. She stuck her tongue out at him mockingly but smiled anyways.

"I was just asking Pope if he's ever seen this many Kooks in one place." Kie mentioned casually as they all looked out into the party.

"I have," Pope replied, then deadpanned, "last year."

They each shared amused snickers at his remark. Collins had to admit, it was about everything that she had expected and more. There were fairy lights majestically draped into a canopy over the dance floor, a live band playing music that was upbeat and classy at the same time, and people were dressed in gowns and flower crowns like they had been styled by Mother Earth. Everyone looked like they were talking about their rich people subjects; what they were planning to make for their next dinner party, what new topic they were going to bring up to the next HOA meeting, who they thought was wearing the most questionable outfit of the night.

She couldn't have pictured it any better.

"We're in the lion's den." Kie then stated, and Collins was inclined to follow her gaze until her eyes landed on Topper and Kelce, standing together in well-fitted suits, adjusting each other's ties.

Collins shifted uneasily where she stood. They looked so immaculate. Not a bruise or scratch in sight. It was like they'd never gotten in a fight in their lives. And they looked so guiltless, too. Apparently their ties were more worthy of their care and attention than basic human decency. It made Collins sick with disbelief.

"Hey, you wouldn't happen to have heard from JJ, have you, Collins?" Pope suddenly questioned her, tearing her focus away from the two boys.

Furrowing her brows, Collins shook her head. "Not since I saw him last night."

It wasn't like he hadn't been in her thoughts. In actuality, he was all that she thought about as she tried to fall asleep in bed the night before. She'd pondered over his motives for a good while; his motives with her in particular. She couldn't seem to figure out why he was so fixated on her, and the thoughts she'd previously had about how he probably looked at her like she was a present waiting to be unwrapped was stuck on her mind. She had a lot of 'firsts', and JJ didn't. That thought alone was scary enough.

And after her conversation with Charlie, in which she'd come to the strange epiphany that she didn't think she and JJ even knew each other well enough to be exchanging kisses, Collins was torn between what she felt and what she thought was right. You don't kiss someone unless you think it will lead to something bigger, and you don't kiss someone if you're already having second guesses about them. So far, she hadn't figured out how to resolve either one of them. But all she knew was that something about JJ made her think that a second was all it would take for her to throw all logic out of her head and act without reason.

"He'll be alright. He's got the survival instincts of a cockroach." Kie joked with a meek smile.

Pope just shook his head. "It's all my fault. He should've never taken the blame for me."

"Taken the blame for what?" Collins asked in confusion.

Kie and Pope both turned to her with equally puzzled expressions. "Did Charlie not tell you?" Kie asked surprisedly. "JJ was arrested this morning for sinking Topper's boat."

Collins felt like she'd just been ambushed by this new information. How was she just finding out about this now? Charlie had finished his shift long ago, and he'd had plenty of opportunities to tell her, yet failed to seize any one of them. How could he not tell her that JJ had taken the blame for Pope for sinking the unbelievably expensive boat that they had gawked at a couple mornings before? She wasn't even shocked. It was exactly the sort of thing that JJ would do for his friend, he'd do anything for them.

"Charlie knew about this?" Collins looked to Kie and Pope for clarification. They each nodded solemnly. "Unbelievable." She muttered. She picked up the serving tray that was now crammed with bite-sized appetizers, and carried it close to her shoulder. "I'll see you guys around."

As she turned to begin making her rounds throughout the gathering, Collins tried to put on a mask of total tranquility to hide all of the other mood-killing emotions that were bubbling underneath. Deep down she wanted to march over to Charlie and tell him off for keeping her in the dark. But that would not be a good look for her at such a posh party and she was not going to screw up her first paying job. She had to be professional, carry on with the night as if nothing was wrong.

Except everything was one big giant mess that had somehow spiraled out of her control.

How could JJ have been arrested? It felt like just hours ago since she'd sat across from him on her bed and somehow, so much had happened in between then and now. Collins felt a twisted feeling in her chest out of worry. She wasn't quite familiar with the punishment for property damage, so she had no clue what his arrest exactly meant. Was he going to jail for real and be forced to join a gang and be completely changed forever? Or best case scenario, he had to serve a couple weeks of community service?

Either way, an arrest would go on his permanent record. Collins couldn't imagine getting a stain like that so early on in life. It's what made JJ's sacrifice make so much sense to her. Of course he would do the heroic thing and take the blame for Pope. He thought he was doing the right thing and protecting the future of someone who was bound to go further than he ever thought he could. Collins just wished she could get it through JJ's head that he wasn't destined for rock bottom like he thought he was.

Her chest actually ached thinking about it. She just wanted to see him. Was that a sensible response to have? For her to want to go back to where they were when she was reading to him outside while the leaves rustled, or in the quiet confines of her bedroom where it was just the two of them. Even when there were bigger things at play going on around them.

It hadn't really even crossed Collins mind to avert from JJ. She knew what Charlie was probably thinking; JJ was by legal terms: a criminal, a vandal. The typical response would probably be to cut off all association with someone who'd already had a pretty rocky reputation to begin with. But not Collins. She desperately wished she could speak with him, not even just to talk about everything that was going on, they could pretend like nothing had happened at all. She would be happy with that.

Everything that had happened also made why Topper, Rafe, and Kelce going after them so much more logical. Pope must've sunk Topper's boat with JJ after Topper and Rafe had jumped him at the golf course, and the movie theatre was payback for Topper's boat. And now, JJ was suffering for the damage that had been caused. Collins refrained from shaking her head and scoffing out loud. Of course the Kooks win. They always do.

Collins smiled courteously as an old woman plucked a piece of cocktail shrimp for herself from off her tray. The woman didn't return the gesture or even spare her a second glance for that matter, as she puckered her lips around the body of the shrimp and took a bite. Collins remained invisible; she was just the platter holder, no bigger a spectacle than the crustacean sitting on top of it.

It was better that way to be honest. Collins was in no mood to be the model for good customer service at the moment. She could hold the smile on her face to at least make it seem like she was happy to be there, because she had been waiting for the day after all to see the grand OBX Midsummer celebration. But it was as if the longer she watched the people around her, the quicker she realized that this wasn't a place she would wait all year to come to at all.

The people weren't all that nice and they acted so obliviously to their privileges. Did they know that on her side of town, they didn't have electricity to light their houses or cold drinks, let alone a working A/C system to combat the summer heat? Some people didn't even have running water, and these people had the audacity to have a running water fountain operating as a centerpiece for luxury. As if it served a greater purpose than being abominably shallow.

How could they just stand around and dance in their fancy attire, like this was the most important thing going on in the world at that moment? It was appalling and Collins swore that after that night, she would have no part in it.

So much for fairytale dreams.

As Collins turned at the corner of the building to make her way to the side of the party which wrapped around it, she felt like she'd walked onto a glue trap. Suddenly, she was small again, as small as a bug and she couldn't move her feet. They were stuck to the ground in place and unmoving, and Collins was sure that at any moment now, she'd be crushed under the sole of someone's shoe.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" A voice smoothly questioned her rhetorically, though Collins didn't think she would've been able to find her voice to reply anyways.

Rafe and his buddies were suddenly crowding around her, and Collins felt like the air had thinned in the small amount of space that they'd allowed her. Rafe was in front of her and he smelled like alcohol— they all did. He was tipsy— or drunk, either way he was under the influence and there was no telling what kind of things he would do. He tangled his fingers in her ponytail before bringing his hand over to tap the cut on her face.

"Kinda pretty for a Pogue, huh, boys?"

Collins avoided his gaze with a ghost of indignation; she wanted to hide her face so she didn't have to feel their degrading eyes. She didn't want them glaring down at her, suffocating her. "Just leave me alone, please." She spoke quietly.

Rafe narrowed his eyes at her. "Excuse me? I don't think that's any way to speak to the esteemed guests of this establishment. I was under the impression that you were here to serve us, isn't that right?"

Collins didn't say anything. She kept her mouth shut and decided it best that she not give them what they wanted. They wanted to see her react, to push the quiet little mouse until they earned themselves a squeak. But Collins didn't work that way. She didn't explode with anger, erupt in a fit of derisive yells, or act with violent intentions. At least, she didn't usually act violently; last night was an exception.

Now, Collins was alone. She didn't have anyone else to back her up. It suddenly dawned on her how isolated they actually were. There were at least 4 others guys around them, and she was surrounded. If she could run, how far would she get? If she were to yell, would anyone hear her over the music and chatter? The fear of the unknowing the answers to those questions struck Collins. It shook her to the very core. What was she supposed to do in a situation like this?

Suddenly, the tray of hors d'oeuvres was being swatted out of her hands and the metal platter clattered to the ground as the food that was on it scattered across the landscaping. Collins gasped and looked down at the mess. Her heart started beating faster, all the hormones she knew were responsible for your fight or flight reaction seemed to be going haywire because all she could seem to do was stand still. As if standing still would save her, make her less targetable.

"Where's the little spitfire that was hanging on me like JJ's guard dog before? Not so tough now that your scumbag friends aren't around to set the place on fire?" Rafe leaned forward and bent down before he tilted his head to turn his ear towards her more. She could feel the heat of his breath blow past her face as he spoke. It reeked of whiskey. "Why so quiet all of a sudden?"

"I would back away from my sister if I were you, Cameron." Collins's gaze immediately flipped up to see Charlie standing behind her with his hands balled up into fists at his sides and his jaw clenched tightly.

Rafe looked at Charlie with an amused look, and his eyes flickered between him and Collins. "Oh, now that's fucking rich. This is the first I'm hearing of a little Jacobson, you really should've introduced us sooner. No worries, though, we've become very well acquainted."

"Yeah, I've seen that." Charlie said with a snarky inflect in his voice. "Now leave her the fuck alone."

"You know, you better get back to your post, Charlie, before you lose your paycheck. We both know that you won't last a week without it."

Advancing towards Rafe with a death stare in his eyes, Charlie shot back, "But first how about I wipe that dirty little smirk off your face for putting your hands on my sister." Grabbing two fistfuls of Rafe's expensive suit in his hands, Charlie's eyes were dark.

Jumping in to try and wedge herself between them, Collins placed a cautious hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Charlie, no. Not here." She scanned the group of boys belonging to Rafe's little posse around them, all standing with their fingers just twitching to get in on the action. They were way too outnumbered to make a decision that stupid.

Rafe was still enjoying pushing Charlie's buttons far too much for it to end so soon. "Come on, Jacobson. Let's finally settle this like men. Don't listen to your Pogue-pounding sister."

Charlie shook Rafe angrily, and the Kook just laughed in amusement at the rise he managed to get out of him. It was so easy now that he knew about Collins. Charlie's weak spot was as blatant as ever and Rafe was taking such wicked pleasure out of taking advantage of it.

"Charlie!" Collins exclaimed. "Don't give him the satisfaction." She gripped the muscle on his shoulder hard which felt tense beneath her palm. Her fingertips dug into the fabric of his shirt and eased Charlie out of his bloodlust.

He knew she was right. As much as he wanted to make Rafe pay for everything he'd done, it was exactly what he wanted. He wanted Charlie to throw the first punch before he sick his dogs on him. An easy fight is what Rafe wanted, one where the odds were tipped in his favor, just like everything else in his life. But Charlie was patient, he could wait for the right moment when a fight between them would be fair.

"Don't make the same mistake of letting me find you anywhere near my sister again. If I so much as hear about you walking past her on the sidewalk, you can guarantee that I'll settle this." He released his grip on Rafe with a shove, allowing Collins to finally drop her defenses and stand beside him in solidarity.

Rafe scoffed and the two exchanged challenging glares. Who would break first? Surprisingly, the Kook was the first to relent as he raised his hands in surrender and took a step away from Collins. "You should keep a better eye on that one, Charlie boy. The crowd she's hanging with might not be much better company." He nodded at his little posse and they all began to retreat, slinking away from the scene with taunting looks and a begrudging drag in their strides.

Once they were finally gone and out of sight, Collins released a long, slow breath which she'd been holding and squatted down to the ground with her head between her arms. She suddenly felt very exhausted, her muscles ached from their previous state of rigidity and her head felt like it was about to explode. Who knows what could've happened if Charlie hadn't shown up when he did? There was so much potential for how things could have gone wrong that she felt sick to her stomach just thinking about it.

Charlie placed a single hand on Collins's back and knelt down beside her. "You okay?"

Rubbing her face with her hands, Collins began to laugh a shaky, nervous, and totally freaky laugh that took Charlie off guard for a moment. He retracted his palm from off her shoulder bone like he was scared of what other strange reaction she would have next. Collins just continued to giggle, so hard that she had to cover her mouth to stifle herself. Her eyes crinkled up at the outer corners and a sly tear escaped, running down the side of her face.

"I'm sorry." She managed to utter between breaths. She shook her head but Charlie didn't understand what for. "It's just funny to me, that's all."

"What's funny?" He asked her.

Controlling her breathing to refrain from laughing any more, Collins wiped the wetness around her eyes with a dampened smile still on her lips. "I was so scared just now. Like, fearing for my life scared; frozen with fear. And like 24 hours ago, I was trying to fight that guy, with my actual fists. How does that even happen?"

Charlie didn't know what kind of response this was, nor what his should be. She seemed to be finding a little too much humor in her situation. Like, Charlie was beginning to wonder if she had sort of lost it and her behavior was an indication that something was off about her. He wasn't sure if he should laugh with her, or take her to the doctor. Was this what shock was? Collins was always the one who knew that sort of stuff, Charlie was useless.

Just when Charlie was about to crack a joke to match her energy, Collins began sobbing into her knees with her arms covering her head. The 22 year-old dropped the smile that his lips had been holding and quickly pulled her body into his embrace. Now this was a reaction that he knew how to handle. "Colls, it's all right. You don't have to cry."

"I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to be scared of them, but I am. With Topper at the shelter and Rafe just now, its like every time they're around, I freeze up, I let them walk all over me. I don't know why." Her voice was muffled from her refusing to lift her head up, but Charlie could still understand her, and he could understand her feelings as well.

"So don't be afraid of them any more." He said simplistically, as if it were that easy to switch off.

"How?" Collins asked desperately. It was like when Kie tried to tell her to be confident. It always looked so easy, sounded easy, but it never was. And no one could seem to tell her how to do it; there were no step-by-steps or tutorials, just people telling her to stop being one way, and start being another. If it were that straightforward, wouldn't Collins have done it a long time ago?

"What was it about last night at the movie that made you unfreeze?" Charlie questioned her. He shook her by the shoulders a little bit to get her to look up at him, his arm still draped over her to hold her comfortingly. "It was JJ wasn't it?"

Slowly moving her head to turn and face her brother, Collins blinked wordlessly at him for a moment. Her lashes were wet and her cheeks and nose were flushed with pink. She sniffled a little. "Maybe."

The corner of Charlie's lips turned upwards, displaying a soft knowing smile. "It's okay, I get it. I would do the same for you and you know it. Just like you would do it for me, right?"

"Of course." Collins answered without hesitation.

"Maybe you just have to start taking the same logic you use when you decide to fight for the people you care about, and apply it to yourself." Charlie advised. "You'll always have me, Collins, but for the times when I'm not around, I need you to make sure you're defending yourself, too. Not just your friends and family."

Collins considered this idea for a moment. She leaned her head on Charlie's shoulder and continued to think about it for a little while longer. She didn't know why it was so easy for her to stand up for her friends and family, yet so hard for her to stand up for herself. She supposed maybe the reason was because she'd always tried to put others first. The regard she held for others was always greater than the regard she had for herself, as tragic as it sounded. And maybe it was because she'd always had someone there to fight for her, not that she was blaming Charlie for her cowardice, but it was a pretty logical assumption to make that his actions had shown her what to do. He protected her from everything, perhaps she had a conditioned sense to do the same for someone else, put them first.

They sat together in silence, looking out into the vast darkness like there was something to admire in the black. The party was very much still happening, but it seemed to carry on just fine without them, though they wouldn't know until they came back to it. Maybe everyone was going feral without an appetizer being presented to them and no one to push a drink into their hand. For the time being, Collins just liked sitting there.

"Why didn't you tell me about what happened to JJ today?" Collins asked quietly. She didn't speak in an accusing tone of voice, it wasn't meant to be an interrogating question, just simply one out of genuine curiosity. And maybe a little hurt that he would keep it from her like a secret.

Charlie sighed softly, looking down. It wasn't in an entirely shameful way, but he knew he was culpable. "I just didn't want you thinking about him any more than you already have. Tonight was supposed to be good for you. I thought I had thought things through but I was thinking of all the wrong things."

Pressing her lips together, Collins nodded slightly. "It's okay. You thought you were doing the right thing."

"You've just got so much to learn. You're the smartest girl I know, but there are just so many things that you haven't figured out yet. I'm just scared that by the time you realize that, it'll be too late."

"But you've gotta let me at least try." Collins reasoned. "If I can't experience my own mistakes then I can't learn from them."

"You're right." Charlie murmured. "And since we're having this talk, I should probably tell you that I might've done something you probably won't like."

Collins looked at him carefully, waiting for him to come out and say whatever it was that he was wanting to get off his chest. "What did you do, Charlie?"

"I had a stupid big brother moment and I sort of... maybe told JJ to stay away from you." Charlie anticipated a smack, or some kind of retaliation for his stupid behavior, but nothing of the sort came. He turned his head to look over at Collins and found that her expression was much harsher than any kind of physical pain she could've inflicted on him. "For the record, I know now how stupid that was, and since we've come to an agreement with each other, I wholeheartedly believe that you should forgive me."

"You are the biggest idiot I've ever met in my life." She deadpanned, damn near close to punching him, but doing a good job of restraining herself. "When are your big brother moments ever not incredibly idiotic? Did you really think a stunt like that would work?"

"Well, clearly it didn't." Charlie scoffed, shaking his head. "So if you ever even think about pulling a stunt like the one he did, taking the fall for Pope, trust that I will take it back."

"Charlie." Collins cast him a blank look. After everything they'd talked about, did he really think doubting her judgement again would be a smart decision? "This thing, this dynamic between us, the first act starts with us treating each other like equals. No more of this 'big brother' bull crap. We're both old enough now that we can just act like normal people. You can't just tell someone that they can't see me when you don't like them."

Charlie nodded, realizing where he did go wrong. "It wasn't my smartest move, I'll admit that. But be real with me, Collins. Don't ever throw yourself under the bus like that for anyone. You can hang out with whoever you want, do whatever you guys do, but just don't let it jeopardize your future. Please, just promise me that."

Collins sighed softly, the teenager in her wanting to roll her eyes and just say 'whatever' to get Charlie off her back. But she was trying to be an adult and showing him that she was mature was part of their whole deal. It was also the only way she was going to be able to make it an even bigger point to Charlie that she wasn't childish, and she didn't hold grudges. "I promise."

It felt like they had come to somewhat of a consensus, one they were both pretty content with. Charlie had initially started the day believing that they couldn't have possibly come to any sort of compromise, yet here they were. Charlie would agree to loosen the reigns on Collins a little bit so that she could learn some of the things that he'd had to learn by himself, and he couldn't teach her. In return, maybe Collins could try not to worry him so much. No more late night brawls in family friendly gatherings.

"We should probably get back to work." Collins suggested. "I'd hate to leave the debutantes shrimp-less."

"You should probably take a couple minutes to yourself though, wash up and what not." Charlie recommended. "Just looking out for you as brothers do."

Collins rolled her eyes and tried to wipe her face again. "Okay, I'll see you out there."

Charlie saluted her with a smile, then backed away and headed towards the party. Collins turned a different way to walk into the clubhouse and find the nearest restroom. She kept her head down so no one could get a good look at her tear-stained cheeks.

When she found the bathroom, she quickly wet a paper towel with some water and began cleaning her face. She looked at herself in the mirror, avoiding eye contact with some of the other women passing through who looked her up and down, no doubt judging her current state and her attire.

Collins just held her head up high and didn't let them get to her. They can think what they think. She didn't have to worry about what they thought of her. She would probably never see them again anyways.

Once she was finished, Collins tossed the dirty towel into the trash bin and dusted her pants off with her hands. Taking a deep breath before she retreated out of the room and went back to the event.

Right as she walked out the door, she was colliding into another person. Her chest hit their shoulder with a thump and a small 'oof' escaped her.

"I'm so sorry." She immediately apologized at the same time the other person was saying, "My bad."

Her lips parted as soon as her eyes met JJ's. "Hey." She said with a sort of pleasantly surprised small smile.

JJ expressed the same look back at her, lost in her gaze for a moment, before he realized that he was sort of the run, then quickly looked around and pulled her into an indented wall space so that they were out of the hallway. He swiftly checked her up and down and realized that they were wearing the same outfit. "Seems like we both got the memo. You look pretty."

Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail so he could see her face better. Her cheekbones seemed much more prominent and her face looked so pristine (apart from the cut on it), not like porcelain because she was tan, but fragile just the same. It wasn't the first time he'd ever seen her with that hairstyle and he still very much liked it when her hair was down, but at that particular moment, he felt so extremely enamored by her when it was up.

"Thanks." She grinned, and as her eyes drifted away from his hypnotizing blues and she noticed the bruising around his left eye, along with the deepened split in his lip, her smile slowly faded. "JJ, your face. Is that from Rafe?"

He chuckled, looking away. "Sure."

Collins's brows formed a crease in her forehead in concern. "I heard about what happened. Are you okay? I was really worried."

"You were?" JJ quickly shook his head and brushed it off, suddenly remembering what he'd told Charlie he would do, or more specifically, not do. The fact that he was standing there, so completely under her influence was supposed to be a reminder of what he shouldn't be feeling anymore. "Look, I'm fine, I'm just- I'm not really supposed to talk to you." JJ told her tensely.

"It's okay. Charlie and I talked." Collins dismissed.

"You did?" JJ asked with an astonished expression. He shuffled his feet and put an arm on the wall, leaning slightly over her.

Collins tucked her hands behind her and pressed her back against the surface, before she looked up at him while nodding. "We compromised. He understands that I have to start making my own decisions at some point. Might as well start now."

"That's great." JJ wanted to feel happy when she told him that, but he couldn't help the reluctance that withheld him from feeling that way as a voice in his head told him that it didn't mean anything. Even if Charlie had somehow decided that it was okay for her to continue seeing him and his friends, it still didn't resolve his own issues in believing that he was nothing but a terrible influence on her.

"You sort of have this look on your face that tells me you're not as happy about that as I would think you'd be." Collins shifted in place, a sudden wave of discomfort washing over her as she started to consider the possibility that JJ didn't care that Charlie was okay with them hanging out. Maybe it was a relief when he'd been forbidden from seeing her, like it solved a problem for him that he hadn't wanted to address himself.

JJ's eyes immediately widened. "No, God, no. That's not at all what's going on." A rush of panic started to settle in and he was forced to figure out a way to push it out before it got too comfortable and he couldn't make it go away. "After the day I've had, seeing you has been the best part of it."

"I hope that's saying something." Collins smiled half heartedly. If his day was as horrible as he was trying to make it out to be, then she could consider that a compliment, but still. How much better could her presence really be in comparison to an awful day?

"It is, trust me." JJ almost shuddered just thinking about his first steps into that jail cell, a place he'd always anticipated ending up in, but never so soon. Along with the fresh memories of his father taking his anger out on him for putting them $30,000 worth of debt. Standing there with Collins, would've been far better than anything, even on a good day. Collins would just have to take his word for it.

JJ's hands twitched with the urge to hold her. If her hands were free, he would've seized one and found humor in how small the were compared to his, along with just reveling in how perfect it felt just to feel her holding his hand back. Funny how a simple action could reap such colossal joy.

"So what are you doing here?" Collins questioned next, biting the inside of her cheek.

"Special secret mission." JJ smiled. "It's actually perfect that you're here because I can tell you the good news: we're back in the G-game, baby."

Blinking as she peered up at him, Collins could hardly believe that she'd actually heard him correctly. "I'm sorry, did you just say--"

"Yep, I did. It's on. Actually--" JJ's own sentence was cut off as he was jerked back out into the hallway, a security guard holding him by the sleeve with an unamused look on his face. "Oh, 'sup, Daryl. I see you found me. How about next round, you hide and I seek, huh? Sound fun?"

Collins watched as JJ started getting dragged away to be escorted out of the party, following closely behind. "Wait! He's supposed to be here."

JJ pointed his thumb back at her, "Listen to her, we were actually having a very important conversation in fact, about the insane demand for crab cakes!" He opened his mouth to elaborate on his lie, but quickly gave up on trying as it was clear Daryl wasn't planning on listening to him. "Look-- man, I can walk myself. I got legs."

As they exited out into the clubhouse patio where the bulk of the party resided, Collins moved to Charlie, who watched the scene play out along with everyone else and he cast her a confused glance asking her, "What's going on?"

The girl just turned and watched JJ get pulled involuntarily through the party. It had definitely become a spectacle for everyone to bear witness to, because everyone had seemed to stop what they were doing to see what was going on. "I really appreciate the discretion, Daryl." JJ grumbled. "It's okay, everybody! Leave it to the men and women in uniform!"

"Let go of him!" Kie's voice suddenly yelled from the terrace overlooking the scene. The security guard stopped, but didn't release his hold on JJ. "You can't just boot him, I invited him here. I'm a member of this club."

With that JJ whipped around and pushed Daryl off of him, causing the man to stumble back into a couple of guests. Gasps sounded from the crowd and Collins reactively slapped her hand over her mouth to muffle the startled laugh that was about to leave her.

JJ spun around and pointed to Kie with his brows raised. "Hey, mandatory power hour at Rixon's, Kie! Pope, you as well." He patted his friend on the shoulder as he passed. Then, his eyes found Collins's and they shared a look with each other. Butterflies fluttered in each of their chests, though that was something neither one knew of the other. "Workers of the world, unite! Throw off your chains!"

It was an invitation for her, too. Throw off the chains, Colls. Who cares about these Kooks anyways? Collins turned to face Charlie at the same time he turned to look at her. She stared back at him as if she were asking for permission. He took in the youthful glow in her facade, the excitement in her was too evident for him to bear the thought of saying no. This was a test. He had to show her that he could trust her. Plus, the whole Midsummers had turned out to be a total flop anyways. She deserved to have something fun happen that night.

"Go for it." He told her with a small nudge.

Collins cheered and jumped eagerly, hastily undoing the three large buttons to the black vest she wore over her white button up shirt, before pushing into his hands. Charlie chuckled as she took off without another moments hesitation, weaving through the groups of people in her path while the appalled reactions of old money widows and housewives followed her.

Bounding out to the edge of the party, Collins saw JJ hold his arms out for her. John B had somehow appeared next to him, and Kie and Pope had reached them a second before she did. She jumped into JJ's embrace, squealing with delight as he spun her around and took her by the hand.

"Later losers!" John B exclaimed with a whoop, and they all sprinted to the water, leaving behind the life of fancy decor and expensive taste.

Collins glanced back once just to take it in for another moment. Her eyes scanned over the crowd of faces, some staring back at her and others already turned their attention back to their own business. For a second, she looked at all of the elegant dresses and lavish accessories and felt that pang of envy that she'd previously felt before. But then she turned her gaze over to the people beside her; JJ was beaming down at her, his hair whipping in the wind while Kie, Pope, and John B ran next to them. Everyone had exuberant smiles on their faces, smiles that lit up when they hit the water to get to the HMS Pogue and splashes of freezing ocean salt water hit their skin. Most of the amusement came from watching Kie ruin her extravagant dress, which also sort of felt like a metaphor for something.

They were Pogues. They would never fit into the kind of lifestyle that the people at that party lived everyday. It wasn't their place and that was okay, it never would be.