THIRTY-FIVE... misery loves company

                                        

                                              
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
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Collins had never taken the ferry before. There was never any reason to. Everything in her life was in the Outer Banks. All aspects of what made Collins the person she was today came from that place. There were no family that she knew of to go and visit, no money to go on vacation, therefore no reason to take the ferry. Of course she would've liked to, but life didn't seem to work that way for the Jacobsons. The only time Collins had ever considered leaving the island was for college, and for the first time in her life, the thought of leaving home felt so incredibly daunting. 
It was scary to think that that's what things were going to come to. Sooner or later, Collins was going to be packing up her belongings and head off to continue her education; where exactly that would be was still unclear. Charleston alone was already the furthest she'd ever left home; was it childish of her to feel nervous about that?
How could she leave everything behind? Everything that she knew was in one place and so the idea that she would have to leave and build a new one felt so strange. And what would happen with the people who have become intertwined with her life like vines on a brick wall? It was unlikely for her that she would ever feel at ease to leave Charlie behind, nor at the thought of leaving her friends. She would miss them too much and the idea that their relationships could change for the poorer was a terrifying thought. It made her think about her dad and how he was able to leave without looking back with any remorse. 
Collins hated the way he always came across her mind when she probably never crossed his. She hated how she still compared herself to him, even though he was a poor example to compare oneself to. Just because he left to never be heard from again, that didn't mean it had to be that way for her. It was probably easy for him to leave because it's not hard to leave behind what you never cared about. He had no love for them to feel his heart break when he walked out on them. That was the difference between him and Collins; her heart would shatter. 
All those thoughts made her chest feel all funny and her brain hurt from all the things running through it. It shouldn't have been so difficult for her to sit comfortably on that ferry when she was nicely stretched out on the bed of Pope's dad's truck with the breeze of the ocean blowing in her face and the fresh scent of salt in the air wafting up her nose. Of course there were things to feel unsettled about, starting with the fact that they were on their way to meet up with the descendant of the captain of the Royal Merchant. Leaving home should've been one of the last things on her mind. 
Perhaps it had something to do with how unsettled Kie was. The girl's energy was radiating onto Collins and making her equally as on edge. Based on Kie's recantation of how she'd been able to get herself onto the ferry, she'd gotten into another screaming match with her parents resulting in them threatening her with boarding school. It almost felt like another one of their empty threats, but it refused to be ignored. Kie's parents were reaching their last straw. 
Would it be bad for Collins to admit that she was a little jealous of their threat? Never mind the fact that Kie's parents had the capital to pay for boarding school, but coming from those kinds of facilities had some great benefits when it came to college applications; more resources, better academics. Of course it wasn't at all the sort of thing that Kie would enjoy and Collins would just about die if she actually got sent away, but there were worse places that parents could send their kids. Kie could become another episode of Scared Straight or be stolen away in the night for "nature therapy." Collins didn't quite understand how that didn't constitute as kidnapping. 
Anyhow, it was so like Kie's parents to threaten her with that sort of thing. She'd been pushing them to their ultimate limits lately and this impromptu trip to Charleston certainly didn't help. It would've been so much easier if she didn't have parents, but from someone who actually doesn't have parents, it's not all sunshine and rainbows all the time. Especially when you have a pretty clear idea on what you're missing out on.