Healing Draco Malfoy

Chapter 36

Published: 2/1/2022

Harry's eyes opened and blinked drearily, but he quickly rolled over to retch into a bucket that slid into place by itself. Fuck, my head hurts, he thought as he let the dregs dip down into the pail. He Vanished the mess and cleaned his mouth, nose and throat, healing them from the acid burn. He dropped back to the bed and, through his bleary eyes, he saw that the curtains were open and there were paintings on the wall. This wasn't his house.

Where the fuck am I? he wondered and tried to sit up, but couldn't find the energy. He hadn't eaten anything yesterday and nearly finished a whole bottle of firewhiskey. He was so hungover. He tried to remember last night and recalled that Neville had been there at the graveyard. He couldn't believe that he went there, but it had been a safe place. He had been so smashed, and Neville took and dumped the rest of the bottle. Harry didn't remember anything after that. He trusted that Neville had taken care of him, but wasn't sure where he was at. He needed to go home and get his Hangover Potion.

Harry tried to focus on his home and bed, trying to Apparate, but nothing happened. He actually felt a recoil in the wards of the house. Whoever lived here knew he had tried to leave. Fuck... he didn't need this. He just wanted his hangover remedy and needed to get to work. He had no idea what time it was, but he had obviously slept through his Temporal Alarm Charm.

"Coming!" a voice outside the room called.

It sounded feminine... so Harry wasn't as nervous. He looked again at the room, and there was something familiar about it. There was no organization, like the Burrow. It was mainly wood furnishings, but there was a sizzle of magic in the walls. He looked at the brightly-colored walls and saw drawings of Hogwarts, the grounds and then... what looked like him... and his friends? Wait, he had been here before.

"Harry? I'm coming in," she said at the door and pushed it open.

"Luna?" he said, still surprised as the short blonde entered the room.

"Good morning, Harry," she said, brightly. "I'm sure you're hurting, but you can't leave, yet. I've made some recovery potions for you."

He lowered his head, embarrassed, as Luna set the tray down. She handed him a vial. He only paused for a second, but this was Luna. She wouldn't hurt him, and he diligently swallowed the first, which settled his stomach.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"We got a few more to get through. Sorry, I didn't have the premade stuff," she said and handed another, which made his headache dissolve. Another made his tiredness go, and the last was a nutrient potion, which tasted terrible.

"Thanks," he said, dropping his eyes.

"It's not a problem. Thankfully, I just had a feeling that I needed to be home this weekend."

Harry frowned. "You're not usually home?"

"No, not when school is in session. I teach at Hogwarts, too. That's why Neville knew I was home, to bring you here."

He blushed. "I'm sorry to impose."

"It's not an imposition. I haven't seen you in a long time, and I wanted to catch up."

Harry looked away. There was nothing to catch up on.

"So, how's Draco?"

Harry jerked his head back. "How did you...."

"Neville filled me in."

"I see. Well, I can't talk about Draco without his permission."

"I don't need to know his medical information. I just am curious as to how he is."

"He could be better," Harry said, quietly.

"Yes, he could be. I still dream about him. Sometimes, I wish I had acted on it... but things need to work out the way that they did."

Harry gave her a confused look. "What?"

"Everything will get easier, Harry. It's just hard right now, okay?"

"I know," he mumbled.

Luna laughed, lightly, and took his hand. "Yes... just believe Draco needs you, Harry, cause you aren't out of the worst of it, yet."

He raised an eyebrow. "Luna?"

"Draco can't act on anything, you understand? He knows the consequences... and you do, too. He has to pretend... for you. So don't despair... he'll never reject you."

Harry felt a chill going down his back. "What are you saying?"

"Harry, have faith, okay, in Draco? These next two months will be rough for you, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just hang on."

His eyes narrowed. Luna always spoke in riddles and he kind of figured he wasn't going to get a straight answer. He just nodded.

"Now... can I invite Ron over?"

Harry gave her a look.

"He wants to take you to work. He's already there, sweeping for spells."

His eyes widened. "In my office?" he hoped.

"Nope, the whole floor," she said.

"Even Draco's room?"

"Especially in his room," she said, with a smirk.

Harry took a deep breath. Ron had made it seem like he had forgiven Draco for everything, and Harry believed him. But Draco... he wouldn't believe it, though. He had issues talking to Hermione.

"He'll come if you call?" Harry asked.

"Yes," she said, simply.

He nodded and spell himself clean. She raised her wand and shot a hare Patronus through the wall.

"He should come, shortly. Harry... I'm sorry that you had to go through all that, again. I know how... traumatizing it was to go through it. But remember, we all love you."

Harry turned and dropped his legs off the bed. He clasped his hands together. "Thanks, Luna."

"Oh... I think I heard him. He had to Apparate outside the property line. I'll go let him in," she said and went toward the door.

"Okay..." Harry mumbled, and a minute later, Ron, in his Auror robes, came bursting into the room. Luna did not come in with him.

"Harry?! Thank bloody Merlin! Don't do that again to me, mate, please," Ron said, and knelt in front of him. "I'm sorry if I came on too strong, yesterday."

Harry let him take his hand. Ron was trembling. He lowered his head. He had really made them worry. "I'm sorry...."

"Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. I... I just..." Ron stopped, and his eyes filled with tears. "I can't lose you, okay? You're my brother... my kids' favorite uncle. I don't think that we'd ever get over it."

Harry's eyes watered, and he looked at the floor. "I was just on a bender. I wasn't trying...."

Ron's grip tightened. "I didn't know... I just thought... but I'm sorry if we pushed too hard."

Harry shook his head. "I think that I was going to do that no matter what you said or did, Ron. It bloody well hurt."

Ron squeezed his hand, again. He was again on his knees in front of him, doing everything he could to help and support him. Merlin, he couldn't have asked for a better brother. He leaned forward and hugged him, which Ron was glad to oblige.

"Sorry for scaring you and Hermione... and everyone else."

"You don't have to apologize, again. I know how much you are hurting."

Harry let go. "Is Hermione... mad?"

"Mad? No, Harry, though she was almost hysterical last night before we got Zabini's owl."

He quirked his head. "Zabini?"

"Yeah, he said that Neville took you someplace safe."

His eyes widened as he remembered that there was someone else in the graveyard last night. "He was with Neville... last night?"

"Yeah... well, tjey were together when they came over. Hey, did you know Neville's gay, too? Cause I bloody-well didn't know."

"No... but Zabini's his boyfriend?" Harry pressed.

"Yeah... that's weird, right? The son of a notorius serial killer with our boy, Neville? Man... weird times. Not sure if I like the bloke. He was sulking in my den, eavesdropping on our conversation last night."

Eavesdropping? "He told Draco," Harry said, flatly.

"I guess."

Harry nodded. "Luna said you went to the hospital?"

"She did?" Ron asked, a bit confused. "I mean, yeah, I did, but it wasn't exactly public knowledge."

"Huh... well, I should get to work, then."

"I figured. I'll Apparate you there and get you to your office," Ron offered.

"Okay," Harry agreed, knowing he needed that reassurance. The hoard was bound to be waiting for him. They exited out of Luna's bedroom and down the stairs. Thankfully, the crater-size hole from the erumpent horn explosion was repaired.

Luna was spelling a new design on a wall, and it looked like a dragon. Harry walked over and hugged her, thanking her for taking care of him.

"It's not a problem, Harry," Luna said. "It was nice to come home. I usually only come during the summer."

Harry nodded and wondered. "What do you teach?"

"Oh... Divination," she said.

Harry's eyes widened. "Umm... really?"

"Yes, Professor Trelawney retired after the war and Firenze was allowed to return to the centaurs."

"I... didn't know that you... umm... liked Divination," Harry said, awkwardly.

"It's not really a question about liking or disliking it, now is it?" Luna said, tilting her head.

Harry grimaced, now uncertain. "No?"

"Go on, Harry. Draco is anxious."

Harry nodded and looked at her, curiously, and wondered. "And you... know that?"

She smirked, "Don't you?"

He looked at Ron, who shrugged and said, "Let's go, face the music."

Harry nodded. They walked out the door past the dirigible plums and down the garden path to outside the ward line. Ron offered his hand, and Harry took it.

***

Draco was staring at the wall, trying to control his breathing. It was almost noon, again, and Harry hadn't returned. He hadn't slept at all last night, and he refused to eat or take his potions since Harry had left. Nat decided not to do magic administration, except the nutrient potion. He was in some pain, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. He just needed to know that Harry was okay.

Blaise was sure that Neville would take care of him, but Draco really needed to see for himself. Nat and Joel had tried to reassure him, earlier, but he didn't want to talk about it, or talk to them. He stayed silent and irritable all morning, until Nat had popped her head in the room about an hour ago. She asked him if it was alright if Head Auror Weasley swept his room for spells or monitoring charms. Draco certainly didn't want to see him without Harry there, but he nodded. He should check, just in case, as Draco had been out of it for three weeks.

He looked to the wall as Weasley came into the room. There was no way that he could talk to him, despite Harry's assurance that he wasn't mad at him. Nat hadn't come in with Weasley, so that didn't help. Draco didn't want to go too far into his head, but he was ready to, if pushed. The Auror pulled out his wand, and he couldn't help but tremble.

"Hey, calm down... I won't hurt ya. I know how much you mean to Harry," Weasley said, softly. "I'll be quick, alright?"

He didn't respond, and Weasley did his checks. He tried not to watch him out of his peripheral, but he wanted to know where he was.

"Okay, it's clear. Sorry for disturbing ya, M-Draco," Weasley said, and he didn't reply. He couldn't look away from the wall. He could handle a lot: new people, the Head Healer, Higgs... even Granger. But Weasley was someone he had wronged. Granger was too, but nothing compared to him. Azkaban had been all about revenge.

"Draco?"

He tightened up more. Having a conversation with Weasley wasn't happening anytime soon.

"Hey... look, I'm sure Zabini... or... umm... Blaise, well, he probably told ya about Harry. He's with Neville, I guess. But he told you... about yesterday morning, too?"

Draco took slow deep breaths. He didn't want to engage with him.

"Look, I'm not going to force my presence on you, but... I just want to make sure you know about what happened. Zab-Blaise... only heard overheard so much, but if you want details... I can give them to you, rather than his guesses."

Draco was torn, but only slightly. He wanted to know what happened, but didn't want to drag out this interaction. He shook his head.

"Okay, I just wanted to make sure. Thank you... for helping him and for encouraging him to tell us about what had happened... to him. I know it was you. For five bloody years, I've had to wonder what bloody happened," Weasley said, and ran his fingers through his red hair. "I know he's cracking bad, now, but I think... I think he's getting better. He's facing what happened, and I know it's painful, but it's necessary, too. I'm sure that you can understand that."

Draco took in a steady breath and nodded.

"Alright, I'm not going to stop in here every day, but I'll be in the hallway checking in the morning. I just wanted to sweep it initially. I'm sure you'd wake up if anyone came in. Thanks for... communicating, I guess. I'm sorry if I, if this, was too much. Take care of him, Draco, and I know he will take care of you," Weasley said, and left out the door.

Draco was unsure how he felt about the conversation. It hadn't been bad, but he just couldn't be at ease being alone with him. He tried to calm down by keeping his eyes on the wall, until Nat came back in at lunch to try to get him to eat and take his potions. He shook his head. He knew Harry wasn't eating or taking care of himself. He just couldn't pretend like everything was alright with him so bad. He couldn't function without him. So, she tried to persuade him by saying that Harry would want him to eat, but he still refused.

"Draco, you barely ate anything yesterday," Nat pointed out.

He had survived days without eating in prison, so he wasn't worried.

She let out a breath of exhaustion. "You have to be in pain."

Not really. Nothing compared to the constant, undiluted pain he went through in Azkaban.

"Draco, come on. Can I get you any...."

"I want a newspaper," he whispered, finally meeting her eyes.

She grimaced. "I'm not sure that's...."

He glared. She sighed and nodded. She had given him the papers about Azkzban last time, surprisingly. She might be loyal to Harry, but she respected his wishes, too. She came back and handed him the Daily Prophet. He turned onto his back to read it. He grimaced at the picture. Someone must have snuck a camera into the courtroom and taken a picture of Harry. He was almost frozen on the stand. His eyes were glazed over, and his lips were barely moving. He was holding a roll of parchment in his hands.

"The Chosen One: Tortured and Raped!" the headline read, and Draco seethed. He couldn't believe how crass they were, but he continued to read.

Harry Potter, while testifying in front the Wizengamot on behalf of his school-days rival, Draco Malfoy, admitted to being tortured and sexually assaulted five years ago, shocking the whole Court. The Chosen One had abruptly left the Aurors after a promising start five years ago, leaving many wondering what had happened. The former Auror suddenly enrolled in the St. Mungo's Healer program without explanation and effectively withdrew from the public scene. Many speculated why the Boy Who Lived vanished but, yesterday, during the trial of former Ministry Officer Eugene McGrath, the truth was finally revealed.

Barrister to the defense, Greyson Runcorn, with an attitude that Madam Griselda Marchbanks labeled "psychotically gleeful", pulled the horrifying confession out of the Chosen One under the guise of questioning Healer Potter's motives for testifying. On the stand, Harry Potter was forced to admit that he had been restrained, beaten, subjected to the Cruciatus Curse, and repeatedly sexually assaulted. It was the reason that he had so abruptly left the Aurors five years ago.

The Chosen One did not reveal who had assaulted him, only stating that "the person had been brought to justice". Barrister Runcorn even pressed the Auror-turned-Healer on this point, and Harry Potter only stated that he didn't kill him, leaving many to wonder what had happened to the assailant who tortured and violated the defeater of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. When pressed for comment on an opening an investigation into the assault, Minister Shacklebolt declined to comment.

Healer Potter vanished from the Ministry following his testimony, but returned to St. Mungo's later that afternoon. He also refused to comment about his statements made in Court when asked, and left the hospital early. Head of St. Mungo's Emergency Department Susan Bones would only say that Healer Potter is currently the department head of Magical Regenerative and Rehabilitation Therapy, and is the best healer in the whole hospital. Her statements are supported by many on staff.

However, the Head of St. Mungo's Mental Health, Terrence Higgs, said that, while he couldn't comment on Healer Potter's mental condition, he was alarmed by possible effects long-term denial, isolation and avoidance could bring. He stated that anyone who could such freely cast wandless spells should be evaluated by a mind healer. Healer Potter admitted in Court that he hadn't sought treatment and also freely practiced wandless magic, leaving many to question his mental state. Healer Higgs also told the Daily Prophet that he wanted the Chosen One to finally receive the mental help that he so desperately needs.

Draco nearly chucked the paper then. Higgs was really going all out against Harry, now. He took a deep breath and continued reading. The article was nearly ten pages, digging into everything that Harry said in Court and what he had done in the last five years. The Prophet even offered a hundred galleon reward for information on Harry or his assault. That was no small amount, and Harry was going to be hounded everywhere he went, now. His heart sunk, but he did catch a paragraph near the end that made him feel a little better.

...the Wizengamot then found McGrath guilty on all counts and sentenced him to life in prison. Following the removal of McGrath by Aurors, the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Hermione Granger-Weasley, called out the Minister's Counsel, Kevin Bletchley, to answer for his conduct in front of the Court. Madam Granger-Weasley publically charged him with incompetence for letting Counselor Runcorn admit Healer Potter's confidential medical scans into record without calling for an evidentiary ruling.

Counselor Bletchley had received much praise from the handling of the Azkaban scandal cases, but he failed to provide a defense for his inaction yesterday in front of the Wizengamot. He maintained that he didn't do anything wrong, but even the Minister called him out, stating that his own witness was one who won his case for him, without any help from him. Madam Granger-Weasley relieved Counselor Bletchley from his post, and the Minister approved his termination from the Ministry on the spot.

Draco set the paper on his table and frowned. Kevin Bletchley.... His younger brother is Miles Bletchley. Miles and Higgs both flew for the Slytherin quidditch team. He wasn't sure about Runcorn, but Draco thought that he had played, too, before he had started at Hogwarts. Draco was sure that they were all in on it, in some way. He hoped that Blaise's informant had something to burn them all. He'd rather do things the legal way, but was fine if it was done the nefarious way, too.

He fumed on it for a long time until the door creaked slowly open. It was Harry. A rough and rugged Harry, who wasn't meeting his eyes. Harry closed and locked the door, and then he slowly took his seat, his head low. Fucking hell, it hurt to see him so... broken. Draco wasn't sure where to start, but he wiggled his hand, earning a small grin from Harry. He took his hand and started massaging it. His hands were shaking, and the wandless magic that Draco felt was almost flickering, like Harry's very core was in shock.

Draco grabbed his hand, stopping him. "Harry...."

Tears came out of his green eyes. "I'm s-sorry."

"Harry, there's nothing to be sorry over. Why would you think you had to apologize?"

"Making you worry... lying... hiding it..." he mumbled, looking briefly at the paper on his table. Thankfully, he had put it face down.

Draco nodded. "I understand. I'm not mad, Harry. Salazar... how could I be? You... went through all that... for me. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough for that."

Harry lifted his head. "You're stronger than you think, Draco."

He shook his head. "I don't know why you think that, Harry. Weasley came in here earlier to sweep for spells. I was so scared, and he was so... nice to me. You really think that I could have been pushed on what happened?"

"I know... knew that. It's why I did it," Harry whispered, tears welling in his eyes. "I didn't tell you... because I didn't want you to talk me out of it."

"Maybe I should've. I'm glad he's gone, but I didn't want this. I didn't want to lose you. You're more important than that bastard getting sent up. I need you, Harry. Never think that I don't. No one can help me like you can," Draco said, in earnest. He had to make Harry understand.

Harry put his head back down. He didn't believe him. Harry bit his lip and said, "Zabini was at the graveyard. He told you...?"

"Yes."

Harry nodded. "You sent him to Ron's, too?"

Well, Harry wasn't stupid. "Yes. I... knew you were scared and keeping me in the dark. Please stop it."

Harry frowned. "I'm sorry."

"I understand why you did it, just as I hope you understand why I sent Blaise to figure it out. You don't have to be afraid of him, either. He's my only friend, besides you... and Joel."

"I'm not... I don't think he'll hurt me. He's... just... whole, and observant as fuck, too."

"He is."

"He knew to stay hidden last night. Drunk-me isn't very reasonable. He saved Neville twice from me."

Draco nodded and had to make sure Harry understood. "You're not weakling, Harry."

More tears came out of his eyes as though the words burned him. He hung his head in shame and trembled.

Fuck, this was brutal. "Harry, you hear me? You're recovering from a shock. You're the bravest, strongest person I know."

"No, I'm not!" Harry cried, into his hands. "You're... so much stronger than me."

"Harry... that's not true. Don't compare us and rate how you're doing compared to me. I'm screaming on the inside, Harry. I have to remind myself where I am, that it's okay to look at you, that I can eat food without believing that it's poisoned. Do you think that anyone could have convinced me I'm safe, again? Don't you remember when I locked myself in my head a few weeks ago?"

Harry flinched.

"I'm not okay. I'm not fine. If I was in that courtroom, I would have cracked. How can you think that you're weak, Harry? You didn't break. You didn't let them win, and you got... M-McGrath sent away, forever. Thank you," Draco breathed, squeezing his hand.

"I knew how I'd feel... if he... didn't.... And he deserved life."

"I'm just sorry that it hurt you so much."

Harry nodded and rocked back and forth, again. "It's just... I'm so scared... of everything. I can't sleep without drinking. I don't know if I can keep doing this. I-I'm bad... I'm in a bad place, Draco. I don't want to hurt you... even accidentally."

His stomach dropped. "You won't."

"Nat said that you haven't taken your potions... or ate anything," he whispered, guilt burning him.

Draco grimaced. "I had to know that you were okay." He paused, hesitating only a little, but he needed to articulate this fear. "I don't know if I could survive without you, Harry."

Harry's green eyes lifted up and met his. They were filled with so many emotions that Draco had trouble figuring out which ones. He could see that hope was there and, unless he was mistaken, devotion.

Draco took a deep breath as he started shaking. "I don't want to put this on you, Harry... or make you feel obligated or even guilty, but I won't be able to handle anyone else, especially touching me. I... start panicking, even thinking about someone else's cold hands on me... someone trying to make me eat or drink... someone pulling their wand on me. Damn it, Harry, do you understand how scared I am? I'm sorry I hide it. Just cause you emote outwardly, and I do inwardly, doesn't make us more or less damaged than the other.

"But I'll go back, Harry," Draco whispered, tears coming out. "I'll bury myself in my head, and I won't come back out. I almost didn't. Please don't give up. I-I need you... please."

Those words burned so much, but it was as if something stabilized in Harry. He stopped shaking and gripped his hand back.

"I'm not going anywhere, Draco. I promise," Harry vowed.