Healing Draco Malfoy

Chapter 34

Published: 12/31/2021

Happy New Year!

Draco never felt more restrained than he had in the past six years. Even being tortured in Azkaban didn't rattle him as much as Harry's absence did. Joel might know some Occlumency, but he couldn't lie worth anything. Harry was in trouble with something. Draco wasn't sure what it was, but he guessed it had to be Higgs... what else could it be? Natalie wouldn't tell him anything either, and Blaise was still teaching... not that Draco could even owl him, if he wanted.

Draco grumbled and sat up in his bed. He tried to bend his legs to his side, but they refused to cooperate. Fucking hell... this was worse than being in pain all the time. At least with the pain... it kept him from moving, but this... it's just frustrating that he can't move. Draco knew he shouldn't let it get to him, but he needed to heal faster. He needed to get to Harry. He felt it in his soul. He could almost feel Harry's anguish and pain. What was happening?

Draco let out a grunt and dragged his legs over the side of the bed. They felt like dead weight... there was no way that they would support him, but he had to do something. Harry needed him. He lifted upward on the bed with his arms, and they nearly gave out as he scooted closer to the edge. Do or die, he thought and tried to push off the bed slowly. He slipped closer to the floor, but he couldn't control the speed.

Draco crashed to the floor with a painful thud on his hip. Shit, that hurt, he groaned internally, but nothing was broken. He could endure it. That was how he survived. He reached out toward the door and pulled on the slick tiles, dragging his half-dead legs behind him as he crawled on his stomach. Draco didn't really have a destination in mind. He just needed to get to Harry. He reached out again and tried to inch closer to the door. His muscles were losing their strength, but he had to get to the hallway. He was only a foot from the door when it opened. He dropped to the floor and couldn't turn to look up at who it was.

"Draco?" Nat gasped. "What are you doing?! You can't be out of bed!"

"Where's Harry?" he asked, huffing and covered in sweat from the effort to crawl ten feet on the floor.

"He's not here! You can't crawl your way to him! Come on. Let's get you back to bed," Nat said, sternly, as she knelt down.

He rolled to his side and looked into her eyes. "Where is he?" he growled.

"I... don't know," she said, and was obviously lying.

"Yes, you do. You're not going to move me until you tell me!" he spat.

She gave him a pitying look and pulled out her wand.

Well, fuck, he thought and looked away from it. He still didn't like wands.

"Hey, easy. I'm sorry. I don't have the strength to lift you. So let me get you back to your bed...."

He wanted to cry out in frustration and anger, but jolted as he saw a pair of well-worn shoes enter the doorway.

"What the-Draco? What happened?" Harry's worried voice cried.

He looked upward, and Harry was already crouching down, concerned. Draco felt relieved just by his presence. Harry slowly put his hand on his shoulder.

"Draco? Are you okay? Why did you... oh..." Harry paused, figuring out what had happened. "I'm sorry I was gone, Draco. I had to do something to do."

Draco locked eyes with him, and behind Harry's concern and forced calmness, there was trouble. "Where were you?" he demanded to know, still shaking from exhaustion.

"Just some things that came up. Thanks, Nat. I got him," Harry muttered, and Nat left, closing the door behind her.

"Higgs?" Draco asked.

Harry raised an eyebrow and then broke eye contact. "N-Yeah... but you really got out of bed? Are you okay?"

Draco's eyes narrowed. Harry's slip was a clue. Higgs was at least partially responsible for this. "I'm fine."

"You're shaking and exhausted. Draco, you can't get out of bed... you're not strong enough, yet," Harry murmured, and wandlessly cast a Lightening Charm and other spells, before slowly lifting him up in his arms. "You might have severely injured yourself."

"If I can survive a fall from a three-floor building, I think a bed will be alright," Draco spat, kind of enjoying being in Harry's arms. "But stop avoiding the question."

"You also can push back your recovery... significantly."

Draco glared as Harry, again, dodged his question. "I doubt that. Harry, tell me wh-"

But Harry dropped him back into his bed and said, "If you get out of bed, again, while I'm not here, I will make sure that it doesn't happen, again, understand?"

Draco's eyes narrowed. Was Harry trying to make him angry? "Harry... look at me...."

He looked as far as he could away from his eyes.

"Don't be scared. I'm here for you, Harry."

Harry nodded. "I know. Thanks... but I just have to do this on my own. Everything will be okay, Draco."

"Maybe... but you don't have to do this alone. Just tell me what happened," he urged.

Harry shook his head, tears already glistening in his eyes. He looked so lost and unsure what to do. Draco realized that he shouldn't push him anymore tonight. Patience.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me, Harry. Please calm down," he pleaded, and Harry wiped his eyes and nodded. Draco added, "How about you give me a massage? Cause that did bloody well hurt. I'm going to be sore, too."

Harry smirked, some mirth returning. "You shouldn't be that sore... if you did your exercises more often...."

Draco glared, but only for a second when Harry's hand touched his aching shoulder and began to knead it out. Harry worked his way down his body, thoroughly removing any aches and pains he had gotten during his adventure. Harry carefully healed his hip, which undoubtedly had a huge bruise on it. Harry's eyes would flick up to his face to make sure he was okay touching him there, but Draco wasn't remotely triggered by it. Merlin, other than relief, the only thing Draco could think about was Harry, and trying to guess what had happened to make him so scared to talk to him.

The list wasn't pleasant. McGrath's trial was going on... maybe that was it? McGrath had gotten off? Or that Harry was being attacked here by Higgs? Maybe Higgs made a claim against him... and he's facing a hearing of some sort? Was Harry outed? Draco could tell Harry hated being in the media, again. But he couldn't be sure. The fact that McGrath's trial was happening... made him lean toward that. But what could have happened to make Harry so... afraid?

"Almost done," Harry said, making his way back up to his neck.

"Thank you," he purred, as Harry made all of his pain disappear.

"You're welcome. I... I'm proud of you, Draco."

Draco turned his head to look at Harry. "Why?"

"You did get out of bed... for me."

Draco frowned. "I fell out of bed for you. Harry... you don't have to protect me. I can take it."

"I know, but I'm not ready to talk about it," he said, lowering his head, ashamed.

Draco nodded. "You knew this would happen... you gave me today off."

Harry nodded.

"The trial?" Draco pushed, despite Harry's request not to talk about it.

"I'll go see about your lunch," Harry just said, and went and got it.

Draco could get nothing from him the rest of the day. He wouldn't meet his eyes and, as the Calming Draught wore off, his anxiety increased. Harry didn't go to any appointments. No, he sat on his stool and rocked back and forth. His hands were shaking, and he wouldn't look at him. He was processing. Draco tried to bring him back, but Harry was stuck in his head. Merlin, he needed to be held. Finally, Harry's trembling hand reached for his and gripped it.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Harry... you don't...."

Harry just started crying, and Draco didn't know what to say. But he sat up and scooted over, as he pulled at Harry's hand to urge him onto the bed. That was what Harry wanted, because it took less than two seconds for him to be cuddled up next to him. Harry's head was on his chest, and his hands were gripping him to the point of pain. Draco just hugged him tighter as soft sobs came out. Draco just murmured quiet words in his ear and hoped that Harry would calm down.

Harry didn't say anything. He seemed beyond words, or just too scared to say them aloud. Draco had a feeling that this was more about protecting himself than him. When forced to confront his past, Harry shut down and was unresponsive. If this were something bad that had happened to him, though, Harry would be mad or at least upset. Harry couldn't lie worth anything, and Draco could only hope he would open up and tell him.

Suddenly, there were loud voices in the hallway, and Harry tensed up and panicked breaths come out. A knock came unexpectedly after at the door. Harry scrambled out of bed and tried fixed his robes and hair to little effect.

"Harry?" Draco asked, confused. Joel and Nat would not disturb them unless they absolutely had to. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. I'll handle it..." Harry whispered, still not looking at him. "I need to get home... I'll see you tomorrow."

"Harry... wait..." Draco called, but Harry opened the door and left.

Draco frowned and tried to listen, but the sounds were muffled. He could hear Joel telling someone to leave and, eventually, the noise went away. Joel came in and sat on Harry's stool.

"Are you okay, Draco?"

"Am I okay? What is happening?" he growled.

"I can't tell you. Harry did leave, though."

Draco "Joel... he shouldn't be alone."

"I know, Draco, but sometimes people need to figure out things on their own."

"Joel..." he growled. This wasn't about space. This was about fear and desperation.

"I don't even know where he lives, Draco, but I will go see Hermione and Ron, okay?"

"Go."

Joel nodded and gave an apology as he left. Loyal bastard. Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors had the same flaws. Blind loyalty. Slytherins understood the deeper aspects of loyalty and blurred the lines. Loyalty sometimes meant betraying the cause to save it, and Harry was spiraling. Draco looked at the clock and knew there would be no sleeping tonight.

***

"You don't have to do this," Blaise said, again, as he followed Neville to the floo.

"It's fine, Blaise. I need to tell them sometime. Come on," his boyfriend said, and grabbed a handful of powder. "45 Blinkmoth Way," he declared, before disappearing into the fire.

Blaise waited a few seconds and followed, turning and twisting in the floo network, until he came out in a small den filled with children's toys. He became aware of people talking from the kitchen, and Neville was already in the doorway, blocking everyone from view.

"Ron?" Neville said, tentatively.

"Neville? What are you doing here?" Granger's voice rang out.

"Oh, hey, Professor Longbottom," another voice said. It sounded familiar to Blaise... but he couldn't place it.

"Shit... I forgot I told Nev he could come over tonight. He owled last night before... this happened," Weasley's voice said.

Neville didn't move into the kitchen and just stayed blocking the doorway. "What... happened?"

Blaise inched a little forward, not allowing himself to be seen, but he could hear their answers. A dirty-Slytherin trick, but it usually worked.

"Neville... Harry testified in the Wizengamot today... to get one of Dra-Malfoy's abusers convicted," Granger whispered.

"Oh... and... he didn't convince them?" Neville asked, reading the room.

"Oh, he did," Ron grunted. "Bastard got life."

"Then... why do you all seem... so upset?" Neville asked. Blaise could feel the tension in the room, and he wasn't even in there.

"Harry... well... the lawyer put him through the wringer," she whispered, and sounded like she had been crying.

"That pillock just ripped out all the bad things that happened to him!" Ron growled.

Neville nodded soberly and quietly said, "You mean what happened to Harry... to make him leave the Aurors?"

"Neville? You know about that?" Hermione asked, slightly surprised.

Neville sighed. "I knew something bad had happened... something that broke him. I wasn't going to ask what happened blindly."

Granger let out a sob, but pulled herself together, "Neville... someone... tortured and r-raped him five years ago. They made him talk about it in front of the whole court today. It's going to be tomorrow's main headline. Harry's freaking out, understandably."

"Crap, I'm sorry... I... is there anything I can do?" Neville asked, anguish in his voice.

"Maybe help with the search party? Harry left the hospital, and he isn't at his house or at Teddy's," she said.

"He's missing?" Neville asked.

"He's hiding and we're worried."

"Okay... where do you think he'd go?" he asked, and then they briefly discussed where they were going to look and where Harry might be.

Then Granger suddenly asked, "Neville... why are you here?"

"Oh," Neville said and stepped into the kitchen to allow Blaise to walk in. "This is Blaise. He's my... boyfriend."

Weasley had stood up and Granger's eyes narrowed. The mind healer, Joel, was a third voice that Blaise had heard. He smirked at him.

But it was Weasley who snarled, "You brought him here to my house?" Apparently that was more important than Neville coming out as gay.

Neville straightened up. "He is my boyfriend and has been teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts for three years. Right, Joel?"

Joel nodded. "Yes, he has been and he's a nice guy."

Blaise stepped forward and said, quietly, "I didn't mean to come at a bad time, but if I need to apologize for my past behavior, I will."

"That wasn't an apology," Weasley said, pointedly. 

"I'm sorry for being a prick. I didn't really support the Death Eater cause. I rode the neutral path."

"Heroic," Weasley hissed. "Why were you sulking in my den and not making your presence known?" 

"Knowledge is power," Blaise said, flatly.

"Listen here!" Weasley started toward him, but Granger elbowed him.

"We don't have time for this. We need to find Harry."

"He was practically spying on us!"

"We said nothing that people don't already know," Granger said, flatly, but she didn't like what he had done any better.

"I meant no offense, and I am friends with Draco, as well. So, I assure you that I won't do anything to harm him or Harry."

Granger jerked her eyes to him and they narrowed. "You've seen Draco?"

"I see him on Tuesdays and Thursdays before class, and I've spoken to Harry a few times."

She glanced to Joel, who nodded, but said nothing. She sighed. "Alright, we'll take Hogsmeade and Hogwarts. Joel, maybe try Diagon? I just don't see him going somewhere he doesn't know. And you two can look wherever. Just get out of my house, Zabini."

He nodded and motioned for Neville to follow him as they returned to their rooms at Hogwarts. Blaise turned as Neville came out of the floo. "I'm going to see Draco. He might have some ideas where Potter is."

"You want to look? I'm sorry they were... upset," Neville said, quietly.

"I was skulking... so that wasn't going to exactly endear me to them. I'm sorry for... it not going well, too, but I need to go tell Draco."

Neville's eyes found his. "It's okay. I knew you were there for information. I could have prevented that by introducing you... but they didn't know you were there. So, I figured it'd be easier without the banter."

"Well, maybe I have been corrupting you," Blaise drawled and Neville snorted. "But I should go."

"You want me to come?" Neville asked, clearly interested in seeing Draco. He had told him everything last night.

"You can... but you'll have to wait in the hall, unless Draco says it's okay. I don't want to stress him."

"That's fine. Then we can try to find Harry."

They went through the floo to the lobby of St. Mungo's. Blaise led the way to Potter's ward and to Draco's room, but a cranky warden stopped them. It wasn't the usual floor warden, Natalie, so that was annoying.

"Hey! No one is allowed on this floor! Out!" she growled, wand at the ready.

"I'm here to see, Draco," he said, holding his hands up in peace.

"Draco?" she questioned. "You know Draco?"

"Yes, I'm his friend. I visit in the mornings."

"Visiting hours are over..." she started.

"It's important. Draco is losing sleep over it."

"He is... if you've really been in his room... what muggle thing is in there?"

"A telly. We've watched a few... shows," he chuckled.

She nodded in approval. "I'm Cass. Who are you two?"

"I'm Blaise Zabini, and this is Neville."

She blinked. "Harry's friend?"

"The one and only evil snake slayer," Blaise muttered and turned to his boyfriend. "Why don't you stay here with Cass, Nev?"

"Sure."

Blaise walked to Draco's door, knocked and entered. Draco certainly looked relieved to see him and actually sat up. "Blaise... did you find out what happened? Harry was missing all morning and was in complete shock today," Draco asked, earnestly.

"I did... but you aren't going to like it," Blaise said, and didn't think twice about telling Draco. Potter was in trouble.

"What happened?"

"Potter... testified today. That's where he was."

"In front of the Wizengamot?" Draco clarified, as his eyes widened, and he stared back in horror. "He-He needed my permission to discuss my case. Made me sign a form."

"I'm guessing Potter was trying to get that guy convicted based on his knowledge as your healer."

Draco's shoulders dropped. "McGrath got off, then? That's why he's upset? He feels guilty?"

"No, Draco. Thankfully, Potter was successful in convincing the court. The bastard got life."

Draco looked at him, confused.

Blaise lowered his head. "I guess the lawyer for the guy... McGrath... used the opportunity to interrogate him."

Draco's eyes widened. "Harry? So... everyone knows what happened to him, too?"

"Yeah, that Potter was attacked five years ago and what happened. Granger didn't go into the specifics, but they made him confess it to the court."

Draco's mouth dropped in shock and horror. "He did it... for me. So, I wouldn't have to testify...."

"Yes, and he succeeded."

Draco's eyes got a little misty, and his shoulders dropped as he crashed back into his pillows. "Oh, Harry...."

"I'm sorry, Draco. I'm sure he didn't want to tell ya, but let's face it. He needs help."

"I couldn't get him to tell me," Draco lamented, and he took a deep breath. "Granger and Weasley told you?"

"Not voluntarily," Blaise prefaced, but continued when Draco gave a look. "I eavesdropped on their conversation with Neville."

Draco gave a small smirk. "Well, I'm glad you did. Harry would have tried to hide this for as long as fucking possible and prolong his angst."

Blaise nodded. "They all but threw me out."

"I'm sorry. I mean... I don't want you to be at ends with them. I mean you and Long-um-Neville were meeting them for the first time together."

"Neville didn't seem upset about it," Blaise said and glanced at the door, hoping he was alright with what happened.

"He's here, isn't he?" Draco asked.

Blaise wiped his head back around and met his eyes. "Yeah. I wasn't going to surprise you with him. Do you want to meet him?"

Draco nodded. "Yeah... if he... doesn't mind... that it is me."

"He doesn't," Blaise said and went out to the hallway to motion Neville inside.

Draco wasn't making eye contact, and it wasn't about fear for once. So Blaise stepped back and let them talk.

"Hey, Draco," Neville said.

"Hi... Neville. I'm... sorry for how I...."

"Don't worry about it, Draco. I didn't come here for that, and I don't need it, especially now. I forgive you... for everything."

Draco frowned. "Blaise told you?"

"Yeah. We talked a lot... about the war, growing up and you. We were kids... we were all kids, trying to survive."

Draco finally looked at him. "I wasn't always just trying to survive. I was cruel, especially to you."

Neville nodded. "I get that, but people change. I watched you... sixth and seventh year. You were scared out of your mind. And you never tortured me, though the Carrows told you to."

"I didn't want that... him... this..." Draco murmured and flipped over his faded Dark Mark.

"I know. No one really understands it, but I do. Blaise... we should go. We need to find him," Neville said, turning to Blaise.

"Him?"

"Harry," Neville said.

Blaise explained, "He's missing, Draco."

"Missing?!" Draco gasped. "Bloody hell, you should have just told me that first! What do you know?"

Blaise grimaced. "Granger said that he wasn't in his home. They're checking Diagon, Hogsmeade and Hogwarts grounds."

"That's stupid. He'd never go out in public after that. He'd want to be alone."

"Oh... where do you think he'd go?"

Draco frowned. "Somewhere safe and familiar. He'd probably be going for alcohol, too."

Blaise nodded. "Well, we'll go out and try to find him. Got any particular ideas?"

"I don't know. He wants comfort but, at the same time, he wants to be alone. He doesn't have many things or people he finds comfortable... and that's his problem."

"Maybe his parents?" Neville suggested.

Blaise and Draco looked at him. "Nev?"

"I-I come here... sometimes, to see them. I mean... they don't talk, but I can confess anything," Neville said and lowered his head.

"Their grave, maybe?" Blaise said and turned to Draco. "I don't know where it is at."

"Sorry... we have a family plot," Neville said.

Draco straightened up as though something had occurred to him. "Godric's Hollow."

Neville nodded. "Makes sense. Wanna try, Blaise?"

"As long as you're coming and doing the talking. Potter isn't exactly comfortable with me."

"Sure, hon. We'll try to find him, Draco. We'll bring him here or to his mates."

"Please... find him," Draco whispered desperately.

"We will," Blaise said and took his boyfriend's hand and led him out the door to the Apparation point.