Cate's Writer Room
By violadavis
I sit on the front row. Psychology says I have to ask questions. More
I sit on the front row. Psychology says I have to ask questions. More
I can't be bothered to format this properly because I'm upset and impulsive so now I'm venting woo hoo
So anyway you might remember a post from me from a while ago titled "impostor syndrome and feeling like you don't belong or something along those lines. We're gathered here today so you can know I'm still feeling the exact same way as before, if not even worse, now that the newsfeed is gone.
I am. Extremely Tired. Of losing readers. Really, I am. With each chapter that I publish, of whichever book, the reads, votes, and comments go down. I don't know WHY, I don't know what I'm doing wrong or what I'm not doing at all, but I honestly feel invisible in this place. I work really hard on my books and spend a lot of time writing these chapters, only to get close to no response. I'm well aware this sounds incredibly ungrateful and I really appreciate those of you who stuck around and actually give a damn about what I post, but it's really disheartening to be followed by over 6100 people and not even getting 10 votes on a chapter, let alone comments. My writing is not bad. I know it isn't. So I honestly don't understand why people just........stop caring about books?? It's like watching me hit 160k on nano was a funny little thing to do without actually committing to supporting the book I spent an entire month of my life working on and I'm exhausted!!!!! There's no creative energy left in this brain babes!!!!
On feeling like I don't belong, besties, I am tired.
You feel like you've found your niche, your comfort zone, but then it turns out you're really just tolerated and you're always kind of........on the side. Not really in. You know? And then there comes the self doubt and the fear that they're talking shit about you behind your back for X, Y, Z reason, and you can't even ask anything about it because it might only make things work and turn things into self-fulfilling prophecies. And no!!! It doesn't sound rational at all!!! I'm just stupid!!!!!
And you know!!!! Eventually you start feeling like you've outgrown things and everything writing-related just gives you so much anxiety you start to hate it!!!!!!