Healing Draco Malfoy

Chapter 23

Published: 4/3/2021

Draco gripped Harry hard as he finally sealed the remaining breaches in his mental walls. Three weeks... he was locked in his head. He had slipped so far down that he thought he'd never come back, but it was Harry, who reached through the darkness and pulled him back to reality. Harry's pain... really. He couldn't stand to see him hurting so much, and hearing the distress in his voice, was what pulled him back. Harry needed him.

He remembered Harry talking to him every day. He even talked about school and the war. Harry refused to give up on him, and Draco couldn't thank him enough for that. He didn't really want to let go of him. Harry was real... something tangible and not something he had imagined up. Draco could barely describe what he felt holding him, again.

But Harry slowly recovered and pulled off his bed, eyes still red-rimmed. Draco noticed that he was thinner, too. He didn't feel the same when he hugged him. Bonier. He wondered how his friends let him slip this far.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered. "I was worried sick about you."

"I'm okay, now, Harry," Draco whispered.

Harry nodded and then sent a Patronus through the wall. "Joel... he wanted to know when...."

"It's fine. Any chance you can..." Draco trailed off and held up his hand, like he used to for a massage. Harry gave a little smirk and took it, massaging it and working up his arm to his shoulder. He went behind him and kneaded his shoulders and down his back like before. "Fuck... that feels amazing. I think I woke just for this."

Harry smirked a little, but there was still pain in his eyes. Draco decided that joking about it probably wasn't the best idea.

"I felt you doing this to my arms and legs, why didn't you do for the rest?"

Harry's hands paused enough for him to tell that he was shaking.

"Harry?"

"I couldn't touch you... your body. I didn't want to send you further inside."

Draco grimaced. "It wouldn't have mattered. They always touched me. I didn't let myself feel them. You can do it."

Harry's breathing was still uneven, Draco realized. He was hurting and desperate to hide how bad he was, especially when he talked about physical contact. Harry couldn't handle being touched. As relaxing as the massage was, Draco needed to comfort him, somehow.

"Harry, come here," he ordered, and Harry came back to his side. "Please, calm down. I'm okay, now."

"I'm trying. I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm so fucked up," Harry whispered, tears coming out. "I'm a shitty healer... I'm sorry."

"No, Harry. You don't have to be sorry," Draco whispered, taking one of his hands.

Harry managed to stop crying, though his eyes weren't quite clear of the pain. He was so afraid of losing him, and Draco felt that deep in his soul. Harry was stuck and didn't know what to say. Draco could see that Harry's eyes had dark shadows under them. He hadn't been sleeping and, when he had hugged him, he could tell that Harry lost a lot of weight. He was scruffier, and didn't try to hide how broken he was. If Draco had to guess, his drinking had increased... a lot.

"Harry, please relax. I'm back and I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm trying. I'm sorry," he whispered.

Draco went to take his hand, when the door opened. Joel hurried in, and the kid locked eyes with him. "Draco? I'm glad you're awake," he said.

Harry tried and failed to look calm.

"Yeah, I'm sorry you were worried," Draco said, quietly.

Joel shook his head and said, "You don't need to be sorry." Then Joel looked at Harry, who tensed up and looked down. "Harry, can I talk to Draco alone? Nat is in the hallway."

Harry looked back up like he didn't want to agree, but he looked at him, though for permission to leave. Draco nodded, and he went into the hallway. Draco was starting to wonder what had happened while he was gone that Harry listened to Joel.

Joel took Harry's stool. "How are you really, Draco?"

He shrugged and took a deep breath. "I'm back, and I don't think I'm going back inside. My guards seem to be up, again. My mind was just trying to protect itself."

Joel nodded. "Do you want to see a mind healer? They understand Occlumancy more than Harry or I do."

Draco shook his head. He wasn't ready for that.

"I have to ask, as I'm certain Harry wouldn't."

"He understands."

"Higgs not-withstanding, there are healers that could help you," Joel said, softly.

Draco nodded. "I'm sure, but my mind is all I have right now."

"Okay. Well, Harry... Harry taught me that patient care is the most important thing we can do. We have to put your care above everything else and help you get better," Joel explained, and Draco listened, wondering where this was going. "I'm sure you noticed Harry is... well... distraught really doesn't cover it."

"I noticed."

"He didn't handle it, well. He nearly wound up back in Mental Health, but we were able to get him functioning."

Draco frowned. "I guessed. He hasn't been eating or taking care of himself."

"Draco, his... condition, isn't your fault or your responsibility. He's your healer, not the other way around."

Draco swallowed hard, seeing where this was going. "I know, but I think it goes both ways in this case, Joel. Harry needs help."

"He does, but you're the one who's in the hospital. This isn't on you."

"Perhaps, but I was resolved to never speak willingly, again. Harry changed that. Harry brought me back from the edge at his own peril. I know he's attached, now."

"Unhealthily attached at this point, Draco. He's on a tight rope here. If the wrong person notices... I'm worried, for both of you."

"Well, I don't plan on spacing out, again. We can get back into a routine, and he should calm down."

Joel hesitated. "It makes sense, but I have to at least offer another solution. Harry's part is nearly over. You need muscle rehabilitation, now, and any healer can help you. Hell, I can take you to a muggle hospital, and they can do it. Sure, it'll be ten times faster with Harry's abilities, but... if you want another healer... you have that option. You don't have to accept this... position because you don't have a choice."

Draco looked at him, astonished.

"Harry's my friend, Draco, but we both have a duty to you to get you the best care that you can get. And if Harry is making you uncomfortable or worse, is hurting you... we can find someone else."

Draco nodded. "Joel, thank you for the offer. It means a lot, and I know that it was hard to do."

"I look up to Harry, but he's... in a bad place. I wanted to make sure that your needs are being met, too."

"They are. Joel, the only reason I came out of it, was because of Harry's distress and his kind words. I don't trust anyone like I trust him. I don't think I could handle anyone touching me, as Harry does. I feel safe, and I want to get better. I didn't think I would ever be able to talk or be free of pain. Harry gave me my life back, and yeah, he's in a bad place, and I can help him."

"That's not your responsibility, though."

"Maybe. But we are helping each other. I'm getting stronger. I mean I'm talking to you, Joel. Harry did that, and he is opening up, too. He has to heal from what happened to him, and he trusts me. I'm not being affected negatively by him, and as long as he is getting better and not worse, I want him, and only him, as my healer."

Joel nodded. "I just had to make sure. I'd do anything for Harry, too, but he'd never forgive himself if he was the one hurting you."

"He isn't. Regardless of fault, I hurt him by retreating inward. I will show him how to help me come out of it, so I won't be gone so long."

Joel tilted his head. "Really?"

"When he calms down a bit, I will. Thank you for checking on me, Joel."

"No problem. I'm almost through training."

"Soon you'll be Healer Joel, then?" Draco said.

"Yep. Got the board to go through, but I'm sure Harry's going to pieces out there."

"Yeah, but thank you, Joel. For checking, for taking care of him."

Joel nodded and opened the door for Harry to come in, not as hyped up. Joel said, "I'm sorry I have to get back before I get another write-up."

"Thanks, Joel, for coming," Harry whispered, and the kid left. "Are you okay, Draco?"

"Yeah, he just wanted to make sure I was okay."

Harry nodded. "Nat got me some tea. I'm sorry for breaking down like that. I didn't mean to... I didn't mean for any of this to happen, Draco."

"I know, but if you didn't care so much, I wouldn't have come back, Harry. They had six years to break me completely. You've been putting me back together, and I don't just mean my body. I would have never talked, if you hadn't been so kind and patient. You're the only reason I'm here, Harry."

Harry's shoulders dropped, and there were tears in his eyes. "I just... I don't want to lose you."

"Harry, I'm not going anywhere, but you need to relax... without the tea. You need to shower, eat and take care of yourself."

"Sorry... I... I will. Tonight. I just missed you."

"I know. So, you have appointments? What time is it?"

"Almost one. Yeah, it's almost time."

"Well, fix yourself, so you are presentable, Potter."

Harry glared. But cleaned his robes, shaved and straightened his hair. He held out his arms for Draco's approval.

He nodded. "Better. But go get that red potion bottle out of that bag. Run a bit through your hair."

Harry complied and slicked the potion through his hair. "Umm... good?" he asked, and the potion had given his hair a slightly wet look.

"Very nice. Now you have the just-got-shagged look."

Harry blinked and laughed. The misery finally left his eyes, and Draco told him to get going. He sighed, but listened. Nat came in after he left with his potions.

"Hello, Draco. He looks so much better, thank you."

He nodded and drank each one. He didn't feel as comfortable talking to her, but he needed to start trusting others. "I'm glad you guys were taking care of him."

Her eyes brightened. "Trying to, you mean. Harry's always been hard to help."

"Is there anything I should know?"

Nat looked at him. "He's been drinking a lot more, too."

He nodded.

"Joel had to knock some sense into him a few times."

"Joel seemed more confident, especially around Harry."

"He took care of him. Got him working and moving anyway. Joel was moving toward some... drastic steps."

"It's good he was helping him . Anything else?"

"Well, I'll let Harry tell you about... the stuff outside of here."

"Azkaban?" he guessed. Harry had started that ball rolling before he slipped back.

She nodded. "I didn't want to bring it up."

"I'm back, and I won't be going back into my head, again. Please tell me."

She stared and decided to answer. "They arrested all the guards and a couple of Ministry people. They're looking at significant sentences, probably life, as they got a few with Unforgivables. Mind healers were sent out to treat the prisoners."

Draco grimaced. He wanted to know more. "Do you have a copy of the paper?"

Nat seemed wary. "They've got pictures... of the ones they arrested."

"I want to see it," he declared, not knowing how much he did until then.

"Draco, you just came out of...."

"Please. I don't want to argue with Harry for it."

She still wouldn't give it to him. She argued that Harry should be there with him, and he lapsed into a sullen silence. He didn't want them to be walking on egg-shells around him. She fretted a bit, but then came back with a few copies of the Prophet.

"Are you certain?" she verified.

"Yeah, I can handle it. Trust me, I'm in complete control, again."

"I think that you have a right to decide what you can handle," she declared and handed him the papers.

He thanked her, but wouldn't read them until she left. He thought that Harry would immediately come charging in, but Nat didn't tell him, apparently. Draco picked up the oldest one.

The headline read, "Ministry raids Azkaban and arrests entire prison staff." Draco read the whole article. Granger, the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, had given a speech that they received an anonymous tip of egregious abuse and torture at the prison, and she ordered the probe into their conduct. She said that they were hardly hiding their activities, and it only took a few days to be able to charge every wizard and witch in the prison with life sentences.

Draco swallowed hard. The paper hadn't released the names of the guards. The next paper announced that the Head of Probation and Parole Department, Ernie Macmillan, was also charged with criminal negligence and falsifying reports. A few of his subordinates were also charged and the former Head of the Aurors, Gawain Robards, as gross misconduct of assigned duties. More investigations were pending against healers, former prison officers and parole officers.

The next one had the pictures Natalie had warned about, as Aurors escorted the worst ones into their arraignment hearings. He barely recognized them as they never wanted him to look at them. He wasn't worthy enough to look at them. He remembered their voices, asking him to beg for it, telling him to scream, making him talk. He shoved it back down and his eyes drifted down to the article: "Ministry seeks life terms for all the guards of Azkaban."

He read the charges and counts against them, and there was a hefty list against many different prisoners. Another 온라인카지노게임 noted that they were exhuming bodies of those who died at Azkaban, as there were many deaths under "suspicious circumstances". Harry probably guessed about his father. The guards enjoyed the fact that they were father and son, played on it and rubbed his death in his face. That was when they chained him to the bed. They didn't want him to escape as his father had.

The last paper was from a few days ago had an article about their victims. "Ministry sends a score of healers to Azkaban." He read that the injuries were significant, and almost all the prisoners had severe psychological trauma. There were hints that some prisoners may get released or have their sentences commuted. Draco wasn't sure how he felt about it all, but Harry's point made sense, now. They needed to be stopped and their victims rescued. He wondered if what he felt was closure now.

"Draco?" Harry called, bringing him out of his musings.

He looked up at the door. "Harry, I didn't hear you."

"Draco, Nat told me... you asked for the papers," he said, stepping toward him, concerned. "They don't need you to testify or anything. They have enough evidence. Hermione says that they will all get life."

Draco nodded as he looked at the photos of them again. Harry sat down, and Draco murmured, "They didn't like when I looked at them. They hurt me for it."

Harry nodded, somberly. "I... kinda thought... when you avoided... looking at me."

"It's them... all of them... well... they let the other prisoners do whatever, too."

"I'm sorry, Draco."

"I thought I was... beating them... winning, because I never gave them exactly what they wanted. I wouldn't cooperate, but everyone breaks. They just focused on me more until I did... listen. If I would have just played their game, they wouldn't have targeted me so much."

Harry came around and sat on the rollie stool. "Maybe, but I don't think that it would have hurt any less. Many had injuries, like yours. They still tortured and abused the others, too. But you did beat them, Draco. You are alive. You gave me permission to go after them. They didn't destroy you and soon... very soon. You'll be walking out of here with your head high, and they will be in the same cell that you were in."

Draco smiled briefly, but then frowned as he looked at Harry. He needed to reassure Harry that he was... better. "I used to go away in my mind and let them do anything to my body. It got harder. There was so much pain, and it never went away. Then I just started doing what they wanted. I went deeper inside, and that's where I went... when you fixed my hip. I'm sorry, it's just harder to come out of it."

"You don't have to be sorry. Fuck, Draco... there's nothing for you to be sorry about," Harry whispered, his voice shaky.

"Maybe... but I never wanted to hurt you, Harry."

"I know, Draco. I'll be fine, as long as you are okay."

"I am. You asked me once... where I go... when I go inside?"

"Go?"

"Where I hide... even when I was in Azkaban? I'm with you... flying on the pitch. It's just us... chasing the snitch."

Harry's shoulders dropped, and his eyes were misty, again.

"There was nothing sexual about it. Just... you were always... a part of my life, and just the thrill of the chase together always kept me safe from the bad stuff. I could push it out. I would ignore the pain and keep flying. Only you mattered."

"Draco... I don't know what to say..." Harry whispered, taking his hand.

"I always trusted you, Harry. I loved flying with you. Those three matches were the only ones I lost. You always gave me a challenge, and in my mind, we raced after the snitch many times. Almost endlessly."

Harry lowered his head. "Draco...."

"Don't worry about it, Harry. I just want you to know that you'll always be able to reach me, so don't despair so much if something happens, okay?"

"I'll... try not to."

"I doubt it will happen, again, and I'll show you how to pull me out of it, okay?"

Harry nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry if I'm stressing you out."

"No, you aren't. You are doing the exact opposite, Harry. I promise you that. You're giving me a reason to live."

Harry gave him a smile, and Draco knew everything was going to be alright.