"You remember the day I punched you?"
He pretended to think, humming contemplatively. "Doesn't ring a bell."
"Shut up."
"Yeah," he laughed. "I remember."
"Okay, so picture Mr Martinez's office," he continued, closing his eyes and trying to remember the faint floral smell of it, the way the chair felt beneath him, the sky through the window, Mr Martinez's tired face and Spencer's rage. 
"Okay," he nodded slowly, frowning slightly. "I'm picturing it."
"Okay now look to the left, on that wall," Hadley continued, his eyes still closed. "What do you see?"
"He has a painting there," he answered after a brief pause. "It's a landscape, I think. I don't know. Ican't remember."
"It's Mountains at Collioure," Hadley told him, the shadows passing over him, "by Andre Derrain. He painted these bold trees all over in these shades of green, and they're so bright and alive. You know the way a field looks in the sun?"
"Like, uh, verdant," Spencer suggested.
"Exactly," he nodded, resting his head against the back of the passenger seat. "Well, anyway, I think about that painting a lot. Mostly because I think about you a lot and, in my head, you're so connected to it."
"Why?" He asked quietly, glancing. His breath seemed to catch in his throat.
"I see it every time I look in your eyes," he murmured, his eyelids growing heavy.
"Why are you telling me now?" Spencer asked after a pause, his voice barely above a whisper as he clenched the steering wheel.
"I don't know," he admitted, stifling a yawn. "I guess I just thought you should know."
Spencer's mouth fixed into a firm line, his jaw was tight and his eyes were trained on the road in front of him, his knuckles white in the moonlight.
"Have I embarrassed you?" He asked, daring to smile. 
"No," he said, smiling as they pulled into Hadley's road. There was a gentle flush on his face. "It's just making me think."
"About what?"
"About decisions I've made," he muttered. "About how little I know about myself."
"What do you mean?" He asked curiously, unbuckling his seat-belt as the car came to a stop.
"Doesn't matter right now," he said, like it was a promise, shaking his head. "What are you doing on Sunday?"
"Reading, sleeping, eating," Hadley shrugged, sitting up in his seat and pressing one palm against his seat, the other against the dashboard.
"Maybe we could get something to eat together," he murmured, watching him steadily and shrugging his shoulders.
He was about to ask about Elodie, her name on the tip of his tongue, but he forced himself to shut up, feeling tired and pleasantly disorientated, and nodded. "Okay. Let's get something to eat together."
"Come on," he said, unfastening his seat-belt and opening the driver's seat door. He pinched Hadley's shoulder hard but playfully. "I'll walk you to the door."
The night air was cool and fresh, and, though he felt considerably sobered up, Hadley stumbled slightly as he followed Spencer to the house. He dug in his pockets for his house keys and trudged up to the door with heavy, storming footsteps, yawning.
When they were standing in front of each other, Spencer shoved his hands in his pockets and looked out across the street. "I'll call you soon."
He was so beautiful, so ethereal and oddly delicate in the moonlight that Hadley almost asked him to come inside, but he bit his tongue and swallowed the urge. Instead, he nodded and said, "Thanks for the ride home."
Not daring to look back, not daring to let another moment pass in case desperation seized him, he put his keys in the door and went inside, locking it behind him and placing his palm over his racing heart.
note
thank you to anyone who made it this far. i hope this chapter was okay, though any feedback is very appreciated! i'm not 100% on this one so might make some little changes in the future because i think it could probably do with some edits here and there
 the next chapter will be Spencer/Hadley focused and changes are coming!! wink wink nudge nudge haha -- next chapter is also likely to be shorter (this one got a little long, sorry!)
I hope to see you again next time <3
originally published
13. July. 2025.