Zawley teaser (ch. 80)

                                        

                                              
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
                              
Special sneak peek at Chapter 80 Zach and Fawley section which I'm sure was annoying to wait for... but here's some of their section. I just couldn't finish 80 quick enough.
                              
Enjoy!
                              
FYI - Not the full section... just thought you needed to know what happened.
                              


                              
***
                              
Zach was curled up on the floor in his room in pain. He couldn't find release. His hand was killing him, and he never wanted to beat off, again. It had been nearly ten days since he last saw Fawley, and it took everything not to crawl back to him... or Zabini... or the hospital. His father had nearly Crucioed him trying to figure out what was wrong, but Zach knew there was no taking back those words, once he spoke them. He would be disinherited, Zabini would be facing a trial and Fawley would be on his friend's side.
                              
He didn't want that. He wanted to be at Fawley's side in every respect. He sniffled as he tried to think of Fawley to find release from the curse. But he couldn't. I ruined it, he lamented. He didn't know what happened. He remembered his dream before he snapped... that was just as real as anything he had felt. His father punishing him and yelling that he was a worthless failure. That he was going to die on the streets without him. In his dream, his father had him pinned against the wall. He figured about Fawley, that they were together, and his father was going to torture him... them and kill Fawley.
                              
He couldn't snap out of it. That fear... of his father, of losing Fawley, of losing everything. He thought that when Fawley said... when he said... going home... Fawley meant his home. He panicked. He wanted to escape, to convince Fawley not to out him or take him home. Hogwarts, everything was safer at Hogwarts, he rationalized. His father couldn't reach him there. But he had attacked Fawley. Zach didn't even know that he was capable of it, but Fawley pressed the one point that terrified him: his father. 
                              
Words never came easy and all he could think about was the idea that his father would find out. He shuddered, thinking of what his father would have done if Fawley had come home, with him. Fucking hell, he was headed straight into another anxiety attack. He took deep breaths and his massaged his member in some hope that he could get an hour of respite. He hadn't tracked down Asher for more potions, yet. He didn't want to be under their drawl, again. But he would need to... if he expected to function at school. 
                              
He even considered going to Zabini, now that there wasn't an audience, but he had gone home. Presumably to the Widowmaker's house. No fucking way. Word had spread that anyone who had touched Blaise in previous years had been branded for it. Zach didn't want to be any more of a blip on his mother's radar. He always picked the safer option, the less chance of getting hurt. He didn't even know if Fawley would still keep his word about Wayne and the others. He supposed that once he was outed, there was no point to withhold the apology to Zabini. There wasn't any point for anything right now.
                              
There was a single, unending conflict echoing through his head. It had always been there, but he had staved it off. He only had two choices to survive: his father or Fawley. He had tried holding on to both... it was safer, right? But he knew it would backfire when one figured out the other and he'd be forced to pick sides. Fawley had chosen it for him or, rather, Zach had pushed Fawley into choosing it. Zach was at home where he belonged, under his father's thumb. He could embrace his father's way. All he had to do was tell him... what? And lie? Lie about the curse, his preferences and Fawley?
                              
But Zach didn't want to lie anymore. He wanted Fawley. He wanted to leave this room, this house, this life and stay with Fawley forever. Maybe it took coming home to see it... that there was no having it both ways. It was his father or Fawley. Simple choice really. Both his father and Fawley ruled him with absolute power. But it was love versus fear, and Zach knew what he wanted. Safety. But it was over, he sobbed. Fawley was angry... he had hit him. Fought against him. Could he apologize for doing that?