Blind - drarry

Chapter 13

Published: December 15, 2020

Updated: September 30, 2021

Harry left him after double and triple-checking that he was okay with being alone. What was it with these Gryffindors? Instant forgiveness? Declaring war on public opinion? He made another cuppa and sat on the couch in the den, stewing. He drifted in and out of consciousness until past midnight, judging by the grandfather clock dinging somewhere in the house.

Suddenly the fire roared, and Draco stood up as someone came through. Potter said, "Draco? You're still up?"

"I napped."

"Alright, let's get to bed," he said, yawning.

"What happened? Where have you been?" he growled, annoyed that Potter had left him without an explanation.

"Trying to nail that fucker down. He's on leave, right now. I scoped out his place, his various family members, and his friends. He appears to have either vanished or went on a long vacation. I'm sorry I was gone so long. I was kinda-like in the zone? Like I just had to find him, and then we can get you out of this mess."

"Umm... Harry? You do realize that he has no obligation to tell you anything? I never saw him attack me or even hit me with the curse."

Harry hummed for a second. "Good point. I'll think about it tomorrow. Kreacher make you dinner?"

"Yes."

"Alright, come on. I'm sorry you waited up for me."

"I was worried about you, prat. You barely told me anything," he snapped.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know where he was. I couldn't give you a time when I'd be home."

"I meant about all of this, Potter! Granger asked to become my legal proxy, why's Weasley going to Azkaban, and what about...."

"Draco, please, I'll explain it to you tomorrow, but I've literally been running all over London trying to Trace and Snag that bastard. I'm tired," he said, with exhaustion.

"Fine," he said and followed behind Potter up the steps.

As Draco got to the top, he had to scoot past him to get to his room, but Potter suddenly turned into him and forced him into the wall.

"Sorry, I was just going to my room," he apologized, though Potter was the one who had stopped in the middle of the hall.

Harry didn't say anything at first. "Your blond hair is coming back."

Draco's hand went to his head and he nodded, but Harry didn't move, though. He was encroaching his space, again, like when Harry had found out who he was. Draco could feel him trembling, too., and now he was alert, despite the hour.

Harry stammered out, "Were... w-were you..." he paused, trying to regain his composure, and Draco was getting worried. He started, again, breathing heavy, "Look, I know Hermione told you about me. I mean, about my preferences, but I can't stop thinking about... it. You weren't... m-messing with me, were you?" He was close enough that Draco could feel his breath on his face.

"What?" Draco asked, confused.

"Those... memories. They were about me. Flashes of our past... but then at the end, it was you kissing..." Harry said, his voice pained.

Bloody hell. Draco's shoulders dropped. "I d-didn't mean to. You were talking, holding my hand. I felt safe. I wasn't trying to think about those memories."

Harry let out a disappointed sigh and eased off him. "Okay, I'm sorry. I just thought... well... goodnight."

Draco's stomach dropped, and he grabbed his arm. "Harry, I didn't mean for you to see the last one, or maybe I did. I just wanted you to know that I'm interested... in guys."

Harry jolted, and Draco could almost feel the excitement coming off him. He pressed closer again. "Those memories of me were from years ago, Draco. Is it just you like guys in general? Or maybe... did you mean...." Harry's courage seemed to fail him and left it hanging.

Draco understood. This was getting deeper than he ever wanted to go with Harry. He was a Death Eater, and Harry was the hero. They didn't belong together, like fire and ice. He didn't deserve someone like Harry, and Harry deserved a lot better than a blind ex-criminal. His sight wasn't coming back, and he had resigned himself to that fact. Harry hadn't.

Harry, however, took his silence as something else. "It's alright, Draco. I understand. I didn't mean to be so forward," he said, his voice strained. "I won't press in, and I wouldn't have even... tried with you like this except... the memories. But don't worry. I'll back off." Harry stepped away, giving him space.

Draco grabbed his shirt before he went further. "It's not... it's always been you. I always watched you... obsessively."

"It's not... that. It's always been you, Harry. I always watched you... obsessively."

"Really?" Harry's voice sounded hopeful, and Draco smirked a little.

Draco took a long deep breath. "The last memory was with Blaise and Theo. They are married, now, and we did it then, because well, it was kind of like... let's-have-sex-so-we-don't-die-virgins sex. I mean, after the Tower, my life was hanging on by a thread. Blaise's mum was pretty dark. Theo's dad was like mine. We were kind of screwed. They invited me to try it out with them. It wasn't about love or commitment."

Harry seemed to breathe easier. "That makes perfect sense, Draco. If I had someone available besides my two best mates, it might have happened for me, too. Honestly, amazed that Ron and Hermione didn't do it while we were on the run."

"That you know of," Draco drawled.

Harry shuddered. "We shared a tent. There wasn't that much privacy. She first kissed him during the battle."

"She's been in love with the git since second year," Draco scoffed. "Weasley needs to grow a pair."

"Do I?" Harry whispered, still only a foot away.

Draco sighed and brought his eyes up to where he thought Potter's were. "No. It's stupid, crazy. You're everyone's hero. You'll piss everyone off just helping me. Imagine if they find out about it? You'll probably be thrown out of the Aurors."

"I don't care," Harry said, coming closer, inches away. Draco backed into the wall.

"I do. I'm a former Death Eater. I'm the scum of the earth."

"No, you ar-"

Draco interrupted, "Yes, I am. I'm beneath you, Potter. You deserve someone untainted, not your branded enemy."

"Draco... no. You aren't beneath anyone! That mark doesn't define who you are. Your actions do! You didn't kill Dumbledore. You refused, Draco! You didn't become a killer," Harry insisted.

"No, I let my mum become one. She killed a muggle, cause I couldn't do it."

"Draco, no. That was her choice. You knew the consequences of defying Voldemort and stood your ground. You wouldn't do it, not just couldn't, but she loved you too much to let you die. And don't forget that muggle would have died no matter what."

"You wouldn't just stand by and let Voldemort kill anyone," he sneered.

"Yes, I did," Harry shot back.

Draco jerked his head up, raising an eyebrow. He didn't believe him.

"Snape? I hid out of sight while Voldemort killed him. I could have tried to stop him. Ron and Hermione were even with me. After Voldemort left the room, I went to Snape and watched the light leave his eyes as he died," Harry whispered, shame laced in his words. "I just watched it happen."

Draco felt for Harry and pulled him into a hug that Potter so desperately needed. "I'm sorry, Harry."

Harry seemed to be steadying himself and whispered into his ear, "It's not just you, Draco. It's not your fault what happened. War changes all the rules. You are a good person in your heart, Draco Lucius Malfoy, and I believe that with every fiber in my soul."

Draco felt tears well, and he felt Harry's hand on his cheek. Draco turned toward him and felt Harry's lips on his, lightly probing for acceptance of his actions. Draco responded, opening his mouth, grabbing his shirt and intensifying the kiss. He didn't want this to end anytime soon. Harry smiled and groaned in approval. He opened his mouth wider, and his tongue met his. Salazar, it was better than he ever dreamed. Harry tasted like a fine wine flavored with a hint of sweetness. There was nothing like it.

They could have been there for an hour, and Draco wouldn't have known. He couldn't let go, nor stop snogging the boy... the man of his dreams. But they were dreams, and all dreams must come to an end. He nearly sobbed as he broke the connection and let go. It could never happen. It shouldn't happen.

"Draco?"

"No," he whispered.

"No?" Harry breathed, almost in tears.

"It won't work."

"We can try, Draco. Give it a try, please? We have a connection. I know we do. Don't deny it."

"I wasn't, but damnit Harry, I'm blind. You're not going to fix that. Curses like this have to be taken off quickly. I'm never getting my sight back, and you haven't accepted that, yet."

"Yes, you are! Don't think that! I'll make him tell me the counter curse!"

"You can live in denial all you want. You're an Auror. Granger must have told you the truth. You know that there's a time limit. You know that no one has ever gotten a pernicious curse removed after a year of it being on. It's practically a blood curse, now... unremovable, and my year is almost up."

Harry's voice was feeble. "We have five days. D-Don't give up."

"Harry, the curse doesn't have a watch. It's been on me with no effort to stay it. I'm not going to get better," Draco growled.

"Draco...."

"No!"

"Draco," Harry growled. "Maybe it won't work, but if it happens, we'll handle it."

"Handle it? I'm useless like this. Worthless."

"No, you're not!" Harry growled.

"Yes, I am! Worthless-beggar-scum. I didn't deserve your bloody sandwiches and coins. I don't deserve to stay here at your house, and I definitely don't deserve you. Just leave me alone, Potter. You deserve better. You deserve someone whole, not someone who's morally compromised," he practically yelled, as he turned, pushed past Potter, who didn't move, and went into his room, slamming his door shut.

Harry didn't come after him. Draco slid down the back of the door, bringing his hands to his eyes as the tears came. Some small part of him was terrified that Harry would kick him out, and the rest was hoping he would. This was just torture. He wanted Harry so bad, but Harry couldn't settle for him, a penniless beggar without a future. Potter was just confused. No one would ever want him. He had nothing to offer anyone now. He was a blind muggle with a criminal past and horrible beliefs.

He cried on the floor for a long time and eventually got up and went to his bed, though sleep would not come easily. He should go back to his hole and die slowly, like he is meant to. Just clink his cup and disappear from memory, but he knew Potter better than the git knew himself. Potter would never let him go until he verifies that it is hopeless to cure him. Potter needs to save him. It's almost a compulsion with the Savior.

No, he would wait until Potter accepted that he would never regain his sight, and then he would leave. Go stay in the muggle world, permanently. It was the best choice for Harry. He deserved an uncomplicated, happy life with a man that could support him. Not be a leech, that brings nothing but problems. Draco closed his eyes and let the tears soak his pillow.