Draco Malfoy, Broken

Chapter 74 – Confessions

Published: July 7, 2020

***TRIGGER WARNING*** mentions of child sexual abuse

Harry came out of the fire into his living room, right on Narcissa's tail. She stopped only a few feet from the fire, so he nearly ran into her.

"Oh, sorry, Harry," she said, stepping out of the way.

"It's fine. Narc..." he paused. He didn't really like calling her that. He looked at her. "Are you okay?"

"I... I don't know. It's all so... embarrassing," she said, putting her hand over her mouth. Tears were in her eyes, again.

Harry stepped forward and hugged her. "Hey... no, it's not. We all have our low points. You should have seen me this summer. I was hurting... a drunken mess. A wreck... and that was my own doing. Please don't feel that anything has changed between us," he urged.

"It has though, Harry!" she gushed into his ear. "You saw me at that place. Only debtors wind up in there! The poorest of society go there. No one even cares about who gets sent there."

"I care. I care about you and so does Draco and your sister. Everyone has their difficulties. You only did what you had to do. It's nothing to be ashamed of," he said, squeezing her tighter.

"It is... I won't know how to explain this to Andy," she said, dismayed.

"Please go back to her. She misses you so much."

Narcissa held on the hug a little awhile longer. "I... will. I'll tell her what happened. But... there's something... I can't just stay there... but I... this doesn't solve everything Harry," she said, lowering her voice. "I have other... obligations."

Harry pulled back to look at her, worried. Maybe, she had other debts. "What else? I'll fix it... please tell me. I want this... fear... to be gone completely."

She looked torn, like she didn't want to tell him. "I... I still owe for my restitution judgment. The fines? I still have to pay them," she confessed.

Harry tilted his head and murmured, "They charged you more than you had? That doesn't sound right."

"Well... they said I had to pay... twenty-five galleons a month as part of the war reparations."

"For how long?" he asked, getting a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Well... forever. It was "in perpetuity". Th-They could arrest me for failure to pay," she whispered.

"Oh, the hell they will! Look, I'll put more galleons into your account, so you have whatever you need and I'll look into this... fine. They said nothing about it at sentencing. That's fuc-freaking crazy! Twenty-five galleons? That's more than most people make in a month!" Harry stopped, and looked at her, realizing something important. "How... what... tell me... is that why you were so behind in your rent and didn't have any food in your apartment?"

She blushed and nodded, tears glistening in her eyes. "I had nearly sold everything that I had of worth by the time you came. I almost took Blaise's offer of help, too, but Moira is rather bracing. And well... I couldn't bring myself to sell Draco's things. It was all I had left of him. I-I guess I forgot that they would seize it anyway."

Harry huffed, "I will figure out how they got away with this. It is totally underhanded."

"Harry... you don't have to...."

"Have to? No, it's an obligation. More than that even... you-you treated me like a son. Please let me handle this!" he pleaded. "Draco and I need to know that you will be safe, that your problems are over."

She brought her hand up to Harry's face. "You're such a good, honorable man. I'd be glad to consider you my son, too."

"Thank you." Harry nodded, and got a little teary himself when she grabbed him and pulled him in for another hug. "I'll take care of everything. Do you remember who told you that you had to pay?"

"It came from the clerk's office of the Wizengamot."

"Do you have the letter?"

"I don't think so... I left it in the flat when I was attacked. I never went back as I grabbed everything of value before my brother-in-law showed up."

Harry nodded. "I will ask the goblins to look into for me."

"The goblins?" she said, uncertain. "Yes... they were treating you very... differently."

"I think that they are honorable and I... I must confess that I signed something," he said, feeling awkward and stupid that he didn't know. "I'm not sure what it means... but they asked if I wanted to sign an allegiance form to the Malfoy name... that any legal or financial matters be directed to me."

She lifted her head in surprise. "They... offered that to you?"

"I... swear don't know what it meant. I just wanted to make sure that you and Draco are taken care of. I can go change it... if I... overstepped," he offered, hastily.

"No, it's fine. But effectively... you're the head of the family, now. The Malfoy family. Any legal action against Draco and I... can be leveed against you, too, Harry. You effectively have become the procurator of our affairs."

"I... umm... is that okay? I just said yes. What does procurator mean?"

She smiled. "It means that you have durable power of attorney over our affairs. You can make decisions in my name, and Draco's, too, and in some cases, override it."

"That is... not what I intended," Harry said, now worried he had overstepped. "Well, I guess it was. I just wanted to make sure you were safe."

"I know. I think they could only offer it, because I had surrendered myself to their custody and Draco is on probation, so he can't assume legal responsibility. Otherwise, I would have had to sign something."

Harry raised his head. "But you're out now. Won't that negate it?"

"I'd have to formally revoke it to remove your control... or Draco, when he gets off probation."

Harry frowned. "Just because he's on probation means he can't decide his own affairs?"

"It's a goblin rule. He still has his normal legal rights under the Ministry's laws. But at Gringotts, he can't open or close his accounts, file a grievance or apply for things like a loan, without my, well now, your approval as he is, in effect, under the Ministry's control."

Harry nodded understanding. "So... do you want to revoke it?"

She smiled. "No. I could use the help. But you are more in danger of getting caught up in our messes. Any fines will be pulled out of your account, now. You are held liable for our actions and Harry... you also can't... revoke it yourself. The only way that it can be canceled is if Draco or I declare that we are the head of the family and are capable of doing it."

"I don't care about that. I just didn't want to usurp your rights, or anything," Harry said, lowering his head.

"I know and it's completely fine with me. No one will be able to take advantage of us anymore, legally speaking, without going through you. So, I do feel safer," she said, taking his hand and Harry smiled.

"Okay... we'll leave it in place, for now. As soon as Draco is off probation... he can take over his own affairs."

"Or if you get married, you'll have joint ownership of the family," she said, sweetly and Harry flinched and turned red. "Sorry, was that a little forward?"

"Yes... it was," he said, though secretly very happy at the thought. "But I also asked them to return everything they seized to my house."

She gasped, "Harry, that wasn't necessary!"

"It was. But it'll all come here, as I didn't want to give anyone access to Aunt Andy's house, nor did I want Teddy to be going through it. So, feel free to come here. You can take it with you or just store your things here. Use any rooms you want. My room is the top floor in Sirius's old room and Draco's stuff is locked in the attic. So, you have plenty of space. Use the whole house... sorry, it's a little unkept," he said, grimacing as he looked around at the three months of dust that had settled in.

"This was all... very kind, Harry," she said, and she hugged him tightly. "You are a wonderful boy... man."

Harry let a few tears out, as she hugged him. "Well, you're a wonderful mom. I never want to see you in such a place, again. I want you to be safe and happy."

"I am Harry. I am," she said, with watery eyes, too.

"Alright, let's get you back home."

Aunt Andy was beside herself when they Apparated in front of the house. She pulled Narcissa into a hug and then grabbed him, too. Teddy ran for Aunty Cissy first, which Harry wasn't jealous about. Maybe a little, but Teddy soon was demanding his hug, too.

"Harry... thank Merlin you brought her back. Why did you ever leave, Cissa?"

"I was caught in a bad financial spot, Andy. I had to go, or worse would have happened and Harry came to pay my debts and bring me back."

"I said that I would help you!"

"You don't have anything but your savings, sis. I couldn't let you burn through that for me."

"Aunt Andy... everything's alright, she's home," Harry said, ending the argument.

Aunt Andy insisted that he stay for lunch, though Harry didn't wish to leave Draco in the lurch. He hoped Professor McGonagall would tell him that he was okay at least. Merlin's thong... what am I going to tell Draco? After Aunt Andy finished fussing over her sister, she left to tell Elsie to make more food for lunch.

Harry asked Narcissa, "What should I tell Draco?"

"My coz-in!" Teddy growled, in his arms. His hair turning blonde.

"That's right... your beautiful cousin," Narcissa said, brushing his hair, adoringly. "I think you can tell him anything, if you want."

"Do you want that?"

"That I had to go there, not really, but you don't need to lie to him. How about... I come visit him on Friday? Hagrid enjoyed seeing us together. I'll ask him if it's alright to stop by, then I can tell Draco. You can just say that I'm home and you saved me, okay?"

"I didn't save you. You were settling the debt on your own. I just sped up the process," he said, quietly.

"You are a humble Savior, after all. How many times are you going to save us, Harry?"

"Hopefully not too many more," he chuckled and then they went to the dining room.

Harry fed Teddy who wanted to do nothing but keep on hugging him and Aunty Cissy. He missed her a lot. She held him gently and reassured him that she wasn't going to leave, again. Harry and Aunt Andy were happy to hear that, too. Teddy wasn't happy that Harry was leaving so soon, but was placated with a promise of hide and revelio from Narcissa. He kissed all three of them goodbye and Apparated back to the winged-boar gates of Hogwarts. It was in the middle of lunch, so he headed to the Great Hall.

Draco's eyes lit up when he saw him and asked, as he sat down, "Is everything okay?"

"It is now. Sorry if you were worried."

"Where were you?" Blaise asked. "All McGonagall said was that you left to deal with a situation."

"I'll tell you guys later. Did I miss anything?"

"Just some more human transfiguration in the headmistress's class and dividing shrivelfig saplings in the greenhouse."

"Oh no! I'm so sad I missed that!" Harry joked.

"Don't worry, I saved a plant for you to do on Thursday," Neville said, staring at him with a smirk.

"That wasn't necessary," Harry said, wrinkling his nose. Shrivelfigs were quite pungent, even before they shed their bulbous pods.

"Well, you have to suffer with the rest of your classmates, Potter. That is why I didn't take Herbology," Blaise said, haughtily.

"Well, Blaisey, I'm sure Neville will bring a few plants home with him, eventually, then you'll have to live with them," Harry shot back and Blaise glared.

"I'll make sure they aren't shrivelfigs," Neville laughed and Blaise smiled at him.

"I'm sure I'll suffer through it and keep the complaints to a minimum, slayer," he chuckled, as he stared at his boyfriend with absolute love in his eyes.

Harry looked at Draco with a smile, as they both were happy for them. He took Draco's hand under the table and asked if he was done.

"You didn't eat," Draco stated.

"I already ate while I was out, that's why I was so late coming back."

"Well there aren't too many places that you would eat at... so Hogsmeade or Aunt Andy's?"

"Come on. Let's go for a walk before we are late to Professor Zabini's class," Harry said, getting up.

"Yes, I'd hate to have to put you in detention Mr. Potter," Blaise drawled.

Harry subtly flipped him off and Draco followed him outside, away from the entrance doors. Draco was looking a little nervous, confused as to what happened.

"So... I... umm... I went to bring your mum home to... Aunt Andy's," he said, looking at the ground.

"My mum? Is she alright?" he gasped, worried.

"Oh!" he said, realizing that Draco would assume the worst. "Yeah, sorry. She's completely fine. I convinced her to come home and she's staying with your aunt."

"Really!?" Draco said, a big smile on his face.

"Yeah, I promise."

Draco let out a sigh of relief. "Where did she go?"

"She... wants to tell you herself. She said that she would come here on Friday, if it is okay with Hagrid."

"Oh... she's not hurt, is she?"

"No, she was just as radiant as always. She just wanted to tell you... and not make me muddle through it. I might have overstepped a bit, and I'm sorry if I did," he whispered. He wanted to confess what he had done, but she had asked to be the one to do it.

Draco lilted his head back up and said, "You got her home... you couldn't overstep. That's all that matters."

"Yeah, maybe," Harry said, unable to let go of the fear that his legal power over Draco will bring contention between them.

"Harry... everything will be fine. Just believe it," Draco said, almost sounding optimistic. It was weird.

"Okay, let's get back to Blaise, before he really does put me in detention."

"Yeah, detention with me... in our room, alone," Draco laughed.

"Hey, don't tempt me with a good time." Harry chortled.

They made it on time regardless and took their seats. Several students, Ernie included, actually turned in the essay about him that Blaise had suggested as a joke, but then Blaise, to his horror, read some parts of the essays out loud to the class.

"Here's a good line: Harry resorts to using Expelliarmus because he's afraid that people won't believe it's him if he doesn't."

"Hey!" Harry growled.

"Hush, Mr. Potter... we are learning dueling techniques," Blaise said, as the class roared with laughter and he looked at another essay. "Expelliarmus is overly simplistic and doesn't require any forethought to activate the spell."

"It does to!"

"Harry only knows one spell."

"You all saw that isn't true last week!" he snapped, gesticulating angrily with his hands.

"Harry is a thrill seeker and he prefers to use basic spells to make the situation more dangerous."

"What? That doesn't make sense!" he huffed and even Draco was doubled-over laughing.

Blaise just pulled another roll out. "Where would the wizarding world be if Lockhart hadn't been so incompetent that Snape could use the Disarming Spell on him and therefore put the idea in Harry's head that it was a good spell?"

"How the hell do you all remember that?" he huffed, feeling like he was actually back in Snape's class.

"He could easily be conquered if his opponents just would keep their wands on them! Why don't they keep it on some kind of bungee?"

"Come on! That wouldn't work!"

"Hmm... you know maybe that guy was right," Luna commented, and everyone broke out, giggling, again.

Blaise could barely keep from laughing, when he looked at the next one. "H-Harry had... Harry had the evilest, darkest wizard ever known after him and he only bothered to learn Expelliarmus."

"Really, guys?"

Blaise's face straightened as he pulled out the last one and scanned it. "Harry prefers to use it because he truly hates seeing another person in pain and simply wants the safest way to viably end the threat."

Harry's mouth popped open. He didn't know what to say. Most of the class was looking at him, with some amount of idolization in their eyes and smiles on their faces, now. Despite the laughing, they had always had that reverence in their faces as they were taking the mickey out of him. He counted every one of them as his friends in some shape or form. Even the Patil sisters were somewhat cordial with him. Everyone was just messing with him.

Blaise even had an approving smile on his face. "No comment on that one?"

"Who-Who... wrote that?" Harry asked.

Blaise scanned the room, but didn't focus on one person. "That would be unethical to reveal." He gave Harry a smirk. "Now that we have that valuable insight into the Chosen One's psyche... we can start on our lesson: modifying hexes with word triggers."

Harry gave Draco a look and his boyfriend took his hand. He didn't see Draco hand an essay in, so it wasn't him. He then looked at Neville, Hermione and Ron, having a feeling that one of them had written it. It left him with a warm feeling in his heart.

***

Draco could tell that Harry was happy. It was a nice thing that someone wrote about him. It was so true. Harry was not in any way a sadist. He had rescued him from Azkaban, after all. Even with Voldemort at the end of the battle, there was no cruelty or malice in him. He gave the Dark Lord the chance to surrender, even explained that his wand would essentially backfire. He was a very moral person.

When Blaise finished his lecture, he set them up to practice. Draco grimaced because he really didn't want to use curses. Regardless if he had permission, he was still very much afraid. Harry hit him with a Tap-Dancing curse that would activate whenever he said a certain word. Harry, of course, didn't bother to tell him which one.

"Come on Draco... you can do it," Harry urged him to try casting it.

But Draco didn't even want to aim his wand at him. He lowered his head, trying to keep from crying in a room full of people. Salazar, he hated how weak he was.

Harry came in close. "Draco... it's okay. You don't have to curse me. How about... you curse this book?" He pointed at their old textbook.

"What?"

"If you don't want to aim at me... you can put a word trigger on this. So, if I say... open, the book will open."

"I... I guess that could work," Draco said, wiping his eyes. He wasn't using an offensive spell. He murmured the spell and Harry tried it. The book cover flipped open and several pages turned, too.

"There! See you got it!"

He nodded, but happy he found a way around his self-imposed restrictions. Though Blaise had taught him how to do it a long time ago.

"Good job, Harry," Blaise said, coming over to them.

"Draco cast it."

Draco nodded and didn't want to meet Blaise's eyes.

"I know. I was paying attention. You found a way to get him to try it, that is important. We should try some more practicing after dinner?" Blaise suggested.

"Well, I was going to talk to Bill tonight."

"I still have patrol duty, too. How about before dinner, then?" Blaise asked.

"Sounds good," Harry muttered, happily.

"Are you even going to ask me if I want to do it?" Draco growled.

"No, because you'll just say no," Blaise said and looked at Harry. "Well, Mr. Potter... did you cast your curse?"

"I don't know. What's your favorite fruit, Draco?" Harry asked.

"Umm... apple," he said, and his feet suddenly started dancing uncontrollably. He grabbed onto the desk to try to force his legs to stop. "Damnit Harry! Fix it!"

Harry lifted it after a good round of laughing. Draco shoved him playfully and Harry chuckled, "I was just doing the assignment."

"Whatever prat."

They finished their class and meet up with Blaise after he finished teaching. Ron came with them, too, and was very surprised that there was a rogue dementor just outside the gates.

"That dementor is still around?" he yelled. "How? Why?"

"We don't know. Umbridge said it wasn't hers."

"Umbridge?" Ron asked, perplexed.

"You have so much to catch up on, Ron," Hermione sighed. "I'll tell you later."

"So, we are going to work on our Patronuses, again."

Draco scoffed. "Again?"

"Should you be really qualified to teach this, Potter? I am the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor and as I recall... I can cast one and you can't."

"Shut up," Harry muttered.

"What? You can't?" Ron said, surprised, as everyone knew Harry had a very powerful Patronus.

"It's nothing. I mean it works like normal... but it doesn't have a shape anymore."

"Still?" Hermione asked and Harry muttered, "Expecto Patronum!" A large, shapeless cloud spread all over the room and Draco could feel its soulful essence.

"It feels like yours," Hermione surmised. "Perhaps we can do some research. A good grounding in it might help fix your problem."

"I don't have a problem," Harry grunted, embarrassed.

"Or I'm bringing you down," Draco muttered. Draco wanted nothing to do with casting spells. It didn't matter what people told him. The fear wouldn't leave him.

"That's not it... but let's try casting it, again? You're happier," Harry offered, as he stared at Ron trying it.

His small dog Patronus bounced around the room and stopped when Hermione's came out. They went right to each other and stared until they faded away. Ron smiled at Hermione and she hugged him. They really were meant to be together, despite their obvious differences. Hermione the know-it-all, righteous heroine and Ron, stumbling, the hothead with a huge family. Draco came up short. Through all of this... he had never told Ron about his brother. Draco winced when he realized that all this happiness could come to an end, when Ron found out. But he had to confess that secret... if he let it go on, it would only be worse.

"Come on, Draco," Harry urged.

"I can't cast one Harry. I'll never be able to," Draco muttered, trying to calm down about that impending conversation.

"Never is a long time. It takes work, Draco. Clarity and belief. Blaise isn't exactly an optimistic person, is he? He managed a Patronus. You're just as powerful. You can do this! It's just your own head that is telling you that you can't," Harry exclaimed.

"I don't think about happy memories."

"What do you feel when we lay in bed together, Draco?"

"Feel?"

"Yes? You like me there, don't you?"

"I love you being there."

"Then... can you think about that happiness? That moment when we cuddle together, and you look at me with love in your eyes?"

Draco stared back at him. He didn't want to try, but he couldn't help but feel better just thinking about it. He took a deep breath and nodded. He focused on that moment, peaceful and relaxed. But he still felt uncertain about ever getting close enough to face a dementor.

"Come on, Draco. Give it a try," Harry urged.

"Expecto Patronum!" he yelled and cloudy mist shot out of his wand, stubbornly refusing to take form. "See!"

Harry tried not to get frustrated, like his boyfriend was. "Draco, it takes practice. You can't just quit."

"This is pointless. I can't do it. I want nothing to do with the dementor!" Draco growled.

Harry gave him a look. "That's it, Draco! You're too afraid of failing, or letting it get close to you, again! You're scared that it won't work. A Patronus must be pure happiness... of belief! If you are worried about failing... then...."

"Of course, I am! If that... thing gets near me, again," he shuddered. 'Three months, Harry! That fucking thing tortured me for three months! Relishing my pain and making sure I never could feel anything good!" Draco yelled, tears unabashedly forming.

Harry just stared at him, as was everyone else. But his eyes were soft. "Draco... I know. I know it hurt you. Those things... they scare the fuck out of me, too, Draco. But that's why this is so important. Making sure that you can fight it."

Draco's insides chilled when he said those words. His fence shuddered. Voldemort's cold voice whispered in his mind, "Are you going to fight back?" He fought to remain in the present.

"Draco?" Harry said, concerned, as though realizing his distress.

He didn't answer, just tried to school his features to hide his mental break. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Harry didn't look convinced. "Draco...?"

"Sorry... I don't really want to practice anymore. Can we go eat dinner?" he tried, but Harry just stared into his barely concealed, fear-filled eyes. "Please?"

"Sure, Draco. Anything for you," he promised, concern etched in his face. He knew that he was close to breaking. Harry noticed a lot of things, Draco realized.

"Alright... good practice, everyone."

Hermione and Ron looked at him, having not heard the last part of their interaction. "We still got a bit before dinner."

"Well, you guys can stay. Draco and I are going to the Great Hall," he said and they left out the door. He took Draco's hand as they walked down the hall, not caring if anyone saw. Draco wasn't used to Harry showing this much public affection. But was glad for the anchor. The pit didn't grab him. Harry pulled him into a window alcove out of the eyesight of the Great Hall entrance. "We can go up to the room if you like?"

"No, I'm okay, now," Draco said, wanting to reassure Harry that he was out of it.

"I'm sorry Draco... I didn't want that to happen. I didn't think... it would," Harry whispered. He was very upset and looking guilty.

"I'm really okay, now. It happens sometimes, Harry."

"Is that... is that why you don't want to learn it?" he said, looking at the ground.

Draco saw the clear out and he was going to take it. "Yes."

Harry nodded. "It's... Draco... I... don't want to... make you upset, but I... I did some research. There was one... it followed his guy around for months... years, until he vanished. This... dem-one following you... it might never stop."

Draco lifted his head and stared into Harry's eyes, now afraid.

"You need to learn it," Harry said, quietly. "Not just for you, but for me, your friends and your family."

"I can't stop the bad memories, Harry. My wall is... gone. It's just... there. Ready to remind me. I'm never going to get this. If the demen-it... really is going to follow me my whole life, it's going to catch me off guard eventually."

"So what? You want it to walk right up to you and pull you under? It... tried to remove my soul, Draco," Harry said, tears falling. "It actually did. McGonagall showed up to save me just as it was going to swallow it. It was beyond... pain and loss."

"I'm so sorry. It's after me... it's me it wants," Draco said, guilt now turning in his stomach.

"No, Draco. None of this is your fault. We will find a way to make it stop... somehow," he promised.

"How? You can't kill a dementor. This is just pointless! There's no hope if it's just doing this on its own. You heard Umbridge! It's an unkillable fiend that can't be stopped! Azkaban wouldn't even hold it there."

Harry's hand was trembling. "Draco...."

"Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?" he growled.

Harry winced and mumbled, "I'm s-sorry. I didn't want to frighten you."

Draco looked at Harry, who had his head lowered, looking contrite. Draco hated seeing him like that. He pulled his head up and said, "I'm not mad at you, but you don't need to hide things from me either."

Harry bit his lip and had some tears in his eyes. "Well, I d-didn't really want to... talk... about them, either," he confessed.

Draco cupped his face and pulled him into a kiss. Harry was afraid of it, too. He understood the crippling fear of them, as he did. Draco should have remembered that Harry was afraid of them back in their third year, and the fear was only bound to increase after being viciously attacked, again, right outside the school. He then hugged him, tightly.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I'm scared of them, too. They're... pure fucking evil. But understand... that I couldn't fight it off in Azkaban and I can't now. That's what they took out, Harry. The will to fight. They tortured it out of me and gave me that thing to make sure I never recovered."

Harry could barely look up at him. He couldn't find a way to counter that argument. "I don't want you to be... taken. If... something... happened... to you...."

"Harry, I...."

"There you are!" Hermione inconveniently interrupted, as she came down the hall, followed by the rest of their friends.

Blaise saw that they were in the middle of something, but just said, "It's a little public here." He understood the need for discretion. "You want to go up to our room? I'll bring you guys dinner."

Harry was about to answer, but Draco said, "No. I'd rather eat in the hall. They should be setting the food out shortly."

Harry looked at him, but didn't argue the point. They followed Blaise and Neville in and claimed their usual seats at the end. Ron had joined them now, properly. Blaise, Neville, Theo and Daphne sat across from him, and Harry, Hermione and Ron were on his side of the table to his right. Ginny and Luna sat next to Neville and Seamus and Dean by Ron. Ernie, Terry, Michael, Hannah, Parvati, Padma and Susan were a little further down. The only eighth years that were missing from their group were Smith and Pansy. Smith hadn't shown his face in the Great Hall since SAD fell and Pansy was still sitting with Harper at the Slytherin table.

She had become an unofficial seventh year much like Ginny and Luna had become honorary eighth-year students. The headmistress apparently had no problem with the blatant disregard for the housing arrangements. Though, to be fair, no one had ever strictly enforced house separation before, other than the students themselves. Blaise had been in every dorm, girls and boys, in Hogwarts. Draco had no idea how he managed to get into the girl's dorm without triggering the klaxon alarm enchantments.

Hermione had managed to get the conversation going though, with mainly Blaise and Neville talking. Harry kept looking at him, hoping he would participate. He wasn't ready to talk. He just stabbed his food and took a few bites every so often.

"Hey, Terry! Come here," Ginny said, drawing their attention.

Terry came over and said, "Yeah? What's up?"

"Alright, since I got you all here... we got one more game before winter hols start. It's against Slytherin and they are arguably the most established house team there is. We need to get some practices in."

"That's going to be hard, boss-lady. My nights are occupied," Blaise said.

"How about the morning then?"

"I got Denkar," Harry grunted.

"Harry... you do know you're not on Ginny's team, right?" Ron said, incredulously.

Ginny shrugged. "He's our backup."

"We can practice before dinner on Thursday. If Hermione agrees to take over my seventh-year class for me, we can have more time," Blaise said, looking at her.

Hermione sighed. "Fine. Just this once."

"Thanks, Hermione," Ginny said. "We should be able to get another practice in on Saturday morning, too."

"'Kay, anything else, capt'n?" Blaise said, and she glared at him. The others smirked.

"Well, since you mentioned it... we need to start a physical exercise program."

Blaise started coughing. "Ahem... what?"

"Running, core training. It's not just about riding a broom. You need muscles to fly and throw the quaffle. If we can't meet up, you need to work out."

"You're not joking, are you?" Blaise scoffed and Draco looked at her worried, too.

"You guys aren't practicing as much as we need to, so you can keep in shape! You remember when you said that you couldn't throw a quaffle for thirty minutes? Well, guess what? You need to be able to throw it for that long! Games can go on for hours. So, yeah, every day... you need to work out," she ordered

"Excuse you, I happen to work out every day," Blaise drawled.

Neville choked on his sandwich and Draco couldn't help but smirk and blush, too. Harry snickered, but Hermione elbowed him painfully in the side.

Ginny sighed, catching his meaning. "Working out like running and strengthening your core and arms?"

"I work out my core, just fine, thank you."

"Shut up. Just... it's important. You can't half-ass this stuff anymore! We got to show that we are the best team here."

"Is my lit sis worried about my team?" Ron said, with a laugh.

Ginny flicked her wand and Ron squeaked in pain. "Don't call me that, but not just your team or the others. Scouts will come to our games, Ron. Some of us want to play professionally."

"And you're worried that we'll make you look bad?" Blaise said, with a smile.

Ginny frowned. Draco could see that she really wanted to go on to the big leagues and he was willing to help her out. "Well, I think I'm pretty out of shape. I've gotten winded a few times. It's a good idea."

"But I hate running," Blaise huffed.

Neville leaned in and said, "But it will increase your stamina."

Blaise's eyes twinkled and smirked at Neville. Salazar, they were completely infatuated with each other. Literally, in their own world, Draco thought to himself.

"Umm... yeah. What were we talking about?"

"Your sex life," Theo deadpanned, and Daphne smiled, while everyone else snickered. Blaise gave him an appreciative nod.

"Just... try to start working out more, please," Ginny said. "You too, Terry."

"Yeah, sure, I'll just start bench-pressing Hannah every morning when I wake up," he chuckled. Everyone laughed and Terry went back to sit with his girlfriend and his best friend.

Harry said, "Huh, so Blaise... did you sleep with him for his sense of humor?"

Blaise coughed and took a drink of pumpkin juice as Neville, as well as everyone else, looked to him for an answer. "I refuse to dignify that with a response, Potter."

Harry laughed until someone came from the staff table and they all stopped everything. Madam Denkar bid them good evening and said, "Well, sorry break up the merriment, but I wanted to give you this, Mr. Potter."

"So, now you are calling me that?" he growled and snatched the paper and read it. "You want me to come see you after dinner?" Harry looked at her mutinously.

"Well, you missed our appointment this morning."

"I do have a life. I'll spare you the suspense. I'm not saying nothing."

"Harry... that's a double negative," Hermione sighed.

"Well, she needs to hear it twice, because once obviously isn't enough!"

"I'll be waiting for you, when you are done," she said, unnervingly calm.

Harry's head snapped up. His temper still getting the better of him. "The hell I will! I have a life you know!"

"Mr. Potter! Twenty points from Gryffindor!" the headmistress snapped, coming over. "Do not swear at members of my staff. There is absolutely no reason for it."

"I do not want to be in therapy!" he snarled.

"And yet, you need to be. Did I not just hear about the common room windows exploding? And a ruckus in the locker room? You will report to Madam Denkar, or you can come see me and explain why you don't think you need counseling! You understand?"

Harry lowered his head. "Yes, headmistress."

Draco took his hand under the table and, after the headmistress and healer left, he asked, "Are you okay?"

"It's not fair," he muttered petulantly.

"Hey, she drugged-dragged-drug me... hmm... whatever... she pulled me to Denkar's by my ear, so I feel you," Blaise said, commiserating with him.

Harry pushed his plate away, angrily, but Luna came over and said, "Don't worry! Draco and I will have a great time together. You need to go talk to Bill after that, anyway."

He turned to her. "How do you know that?"

"I gazed into the crystal ball and saw beyond the Mundane," she said, airily.

Draco laughed as Harry's slack-jawed mouth. He loved her so much. "You did say that you would talk to him today."

Harry was still baffled, but frowned, "Are you sure? If you want me to stay with you...."

"Harry, are you questioning my ability to properly entertain Draco?" Luna interjected.

"I-umm-no, but...."

"Then off you go! You're surely not going to eat anymore and you shouldn't keep Eirene waiting. You are keeping her up late, too. Are you ready, Draco?"

"I... Harry?"

"Just go. I'll see you later."

Draco didn't want to leave him so frazzled, but Luna took his hand and pulled him out of the seat. He walked with her, hand-in-hand, out of the Great Hall and outside, where it was starting to get dark. She took him out to the lakeshore, again. It was colder though and Draco cast a Warming Charm over them both, wandlessly.

"Thanks. The dungeon was cold in winter," she said, her voice a quiet whisper. She was looking out over the lake, her mind elsewhere.

Draco winced. "I'm sorry."

"You left blankets, Draco. You knew."

He nodded. He had spent many days down there in his lifetime, over a week once. She lasted months. "You're so much stronger than I am," he decreed.

She tilted her head. "But I wasn't alone, was I? Garrick was there. The house elves came, too, and then Dean and Griphook. And you! You gave me hope, Draco. Did you know that?"

Draco met her eyes, but only briefly. Tears were starting to come out of his eyes. Luna reached up and wiped them away. "After you went back to school, she came down... the one who hurt you so much."

Bellatrix. Draco swallowed and looked horrified. Luna was pure light. How could anyone hurt her? "I'm sorry. I should have figured it out, sooner."

"I think it had to play out that way, you know? I had nowhere to go. You had nowhere to go. It would have been... too dangerous, especially with all them there right then. It's not your fault, what happened," she declared.

"Still, she was my aunt."

"Well, I'm sure I'm related to her in some way, too," she offered, with a smile.

"It was my house."

She stared at him for a minute. "Draco... do you know what my father did during the war?"

"Your father? He wrote the Quibbler, that's why you... were taken," Draco finished, quietly.

"Yes. He stopping publishing for a bit... but he was about to publish another issue... when... Harry came to see him. You know? Before Harry was caught and brought to your house?"

Draco looked at her. Harry hadn't mentioned it. "He did?"

"Harry, Hermione and Ron. They came to ask about the Hallows, but my dad betrayed them to the loyalists in the Ministry. He sent an owl out. Told them that Harry was there, for me, to get me back"

Draco looked at her surprised. "I... I think he was just trying to save you."

"He was, but am I a traitor for what my father did?"

"What! No, Luna!" he gasped.

"Then you couldn't possibly be responsible for what your aunt did... or that they brought me to your house," she said, and Draco reluctantly nodded. "You were the one, who came down and checked on me. You cried with me, bought me food and blankets."

"I hated that you were there... in that place," he cried.

"I know... I heard them, Draco. I heard them... torturing you. I heard you screaming, begging, all night... that first day," she whispered, looking back out to the far side of the lake. "Then there were footsteps down the steps. I thought they were coming to hurt me, too... but it was you." She looked at him, with her piercingly silver eyes. "You were shaking and clearly in pain, but you looked right at me. You remember?"

"I... I didn't know you were there."

"You came to check on Garrick. You were worried about him, too. But you know who I was. You called me by my name, healed me... comforted me, though you were in pain."

"You were comforting me. You made it hurt so much less," Draco whispered.

She looked at him and gave him a weak smile. No one could understand that feeling like they could. That feeling of helplessness... hopelessness. There was no fighting it. They were trapped. Draco was as much as a prisoner as she was. They just enjoyed hurting him more. Every day... they tortured him, reminded him that he was nothing. He was their toy, their entertainment. He was still thankful. He was glad they only went after him, but he left, went back to school. He lowered his head, but her hand came up and lifted his chin.

"You made me a promise, do you remember?" she said, softly.

"I said I was going to get you out of there."

"And you did."

Draco nodded, still thinking he had failed in some way. Luna's stay in the hell of his father's basement, was so similar to his incarceration at Azkaban, that he would never accept that he did everything he could to rescue her. "You were still hurt."

"Yes, as were you."

Draco shuddered like he was cold and she took his hands. She knew everything. He never had to tell her what happened. She saw right through him. "It's okay to cry, Dray. They tried to destroy you, break you."

"They succeeded," he breathed. "I'm broken. I-I'll n-never be right, again."

"Maybe, but I doubt it. Draco, they hurt you deeply, but they didn't win. They didn't destroy you, or your heart."

He shook his head. He didn't believe that.

"Draco... Draco... you saved me. You fought against them at the battle. You took down SAD. Hurt... yes... broken... maybe a little. But not forever... you can get better, whole. It will take time."

Draco stared at her. "What if I can't? What if it keeps... pulling me under?"

She squeezed his hand. "It won't ever leave you completely. It will come back... but the episodes will happen fewer times and won't cripple you as much. But it will take time... and you need help, Draco."

"I can't talk about it."

She frowned and nodded. "Maybe... maybe not. You asked me the last time we came out here... what stage I was at?"

"Luna... I didn't mean you had to answer," he said, cautiously.

"I went through them... mostly in the basement. Denial... not so much anger, but I was mad, frustrated. Then I was arguing... with myself. Get through the day and I'll be fine. Get through this Cruciatus and I'll be fine. Get out of the dungeon and I'll be fine. But when we were rescued, I tried to adapt. I went back to denying it and isolating myself. I spent most of the summer watching over my dad in the Janus Thickey Ward and studying. Not unlike what you had learned, especially as your elves brought me very interesting books to read from your library. I liked making things... conjuring and transformations... making my dreams a reality."

"That's why you are so good at it."

"Perhaps. You did inspire me, you know, but I didn't limit my magic, I embraced it," she murmured.

Draco lowered his head. His eyes flushed with tears. "I couldn't... can't...."

"Shh... Draco. It's just fear and you will conquer it, eventually."

He shook his head. He had no faith in himself.

"You aren't ready to go that far... but let's talk about your Patronus, Dray."

"I do think happy thoughts, but the bad stuff just seeps in before I can stop it. Harry thinks it's because I'm so afraid of them... getting me."

"He does have a point. Harry had a hard time conjuring one during the battle," she said.

"What?" Draco said.

"Yeah. He gave up. They almost beat him. But he just needed the right focus."

"I can't focus."

"Really? You can't focus?" she laughed. "Draco... you stripped the wards of your father's manor... while you were terrified and pointing a wand at us, I might add."

"I was desperate," he tried.

"You made Regnbogi for me," she said, flicking her wand and making a small whirling vortex of air.

Draco watched her nonverbal magic flow, finding it peaceful, but he tensed when her knowing eyes, looked at him. He grimaced and said, "It's not the same."

"Really? Wandless magic requires a lot of focus Draco. This Patronus... barrier... that you created in your mind, is rather... straightforward. If you can create a living, breathing, rainbow fish for me, you can focus enough to create a Patronus."

That didn't sound right. "It requires happy thoughts."

"It requires happy thoughts, because people feel safe in their beliefs. A Patronus protects the caster, saves it from the darkness. People find comfort in their happy memories. It's an easy way to focus and connect to their magic. You already know how to do that, Draco, better than anyone in this school."

"I can create a foggy shape, even make it move... but to drive those things away? It won't work."

"I didn't say conjure it. I said that you know how to use your core, find that part of your soul that is strong... has hope."

"I don't have hope!"

She gave him a look that made him feel like a whiny child. "Yes, you do. You have happy thoughts, hope... a drive to succeed. Defeat the people that hurt you."

"No... no...." Draco tried to ignore her words, but she pulled his hands in closer.

"Draco... if Voldemort was still alive... would you bow to him?" she asked.

He looked at her and shook his head. "But that doesn't mean I would be able to fight him."

"And a Patronus isn't about fighting. It's purely defensive."

"Still... Harry said...."

"Harry thinks, acts and feels his emotions differently than you and me. He can conjure his Patronus on the drop of a nargle, because he hasn't buried his emotions. You have... like me."

Draco gaped at her and said, "Oh, Luna... I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. I'm healing. I was alone after the Battle. There was really no one to talk to. I was stuck in my dark place for a long time, but I slowly got better. Talked to Ginny, Neville, and Hermione a bit. Went to the reunion. No one asked me about my father, or what he had done. My friends haven't told anyone about it or the last unpublished edition. But Ginny did start to visit with me, more when she wasn't training. But I finally started to heal, let myself feel things, again, though it hurt. I began to accept the things that had happened," Luna said, looking at some thestrals flying nearby.

"I'm sorry you had to go through it so... alone."

"I've had a lonely life, but my friends got me through it. Sometimes... I still think about what happened. Those bad times and memories hit me, but I don't let it control me, now. It's not about burying it and hope it goes away. It's about accepting that it is part of me and I won't let it keep hurting me."

Draco grimaced. There was no accepting it.

"You aren't ready to embrace it but one day."

Draco didn't want to argue with her.

Luna smiled at him and he did feel better. "One day," she repeated. No, he thought idly as she raised an eyebrow at him, but said, "It took a while for me, to believe it."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah... it was a long, painful summer for me, too. I missed you... and Ginny. I almost gave up on the hope that I'd heal, but then I decided that I really wanted to find my inner soul. My happiness. You know what I did?"

"You cast your Patronus?"

"No, silly, but that's a good guess. Your Patronus is a reflection of your soul... at least part of it. The happy, hopeful part. I was so afraid that I had lost him, though, after I left the basement but he came right out during the Battle, you know?"

"Your Patronus? It's a he?"

"I think so... he's a part of me. The playful, mimsical part," she said, with a smile.

Draco didn't know what she meant, and she laughed at his expression.

"Dray... there's not one singular thing that defines you. You have a strong side who protects your friends and soft... sensitive side who comforts them. An angry side when people hurt your family and a fragile side that is afraid of being hurt. You have many faces to who you are. Do you think my hare Patronus encompasses all that I am?"

Draco blinked. "No... no animal can do that."

"Maybe or maybe not... but I wanted to find out. So, I practiced and practiced... went through the long ritual and let go of all my boundaries. My past, my pain... and embrace my inner soul," she said, with a glint of happiness in her eyes.

Draco looked at her confused. She smiled and gave him a wink before starting to run toward the water. Suddenly, she was gone, in a blink of eye. His jaw dropped and a beautiful bird took off over the water. It flew high into the sky and soared back down spreading its huge wings and long neck. Its feathers were gold, only some were tipped with red. Draco recognized the large bird immediately and couldn't believe it. It was extremely rare for an Animagus to become a magical creature.

The phoenix soared through the air above the lake and circled back toward him. He could see that its body was light-colored, almost white, but not. Its sparkling silver eyes glistened as they watched him and came into land on his outstretched arm. Its golden claws gripped his mark as it landed and it-her beautiful eyes stared back at him. He should have been struggling under her weight, but he could barely feel her on his arm. He reached out and stroked her soft feathers, and she hummed, quietly.

But then, musical sounds started emanating from her that made him freeze. The song reverberated deep into his soul and he felt the death grip on his heart slowly release, as the darkness receded. He didn't know how to describe the soothing melody or what it was doing to him. But he was transfixed, a frozen pillar trapped under the lure of the siren's call... except... it wasn't evil. No, it was light. Luna was pure magic, now... the embodiment of her radiant soul. Her loving and loyal nature was there for all to see.

She nuzzled her head up against his, and then took flight into the air, again. Her feathers started to glow as the flames covered them. But the flames slowly went away, and she came back down to the water's edge. In a blink, she had transformed back into her human form and smiled at him.

"That... you...."

"I see you're still in shock," she laughed.

"That was amazing!" he exclaimed. "Can you... do everything a phoenix can?"

"Hmm... well, I haven't completely burst into flames, yet, but I think so."

"Wow... Luna, that's... holy Salazar!" he exclaimed, but her smile faded.

"I haven't told anyone else... not even Ginny," she confessed.

"Why? It's... your incredible!"

"It hasn't come up."

"Wait... McGonagall doesn't know?"

"I like she suspects. But not what I can turn into. I'm still unregistered, but I think it's safer to hide my abilities for the time being. Besides, it's really none of the Ministry's business, is it?" she grinned, rebelliously.

Draco smirked. "Thank you... your song was... it felt... I can't even explain it."

She took his hand. "It was meant to calm you down, ease your sorrow, so I think it worked."

"It did."

"Well, there's one problem solved!" she giggled.

Draco smiled. He did feel better. "Thank you."

"Now to handle your Patronus. Draco, just think about this... really think about it, okay?" she ordered and he nodded. "If Voldemort was alive... and he was aiming his wand at Harry... what would you do?"

Draco initially shuddered at the thought, but all morose thoughts suddenly disappeared as she had effectively Vanished them. A fierce, obligatory need to protect Harry filled his mind and he gripped his wand, ready to protect his... love... the other half of his soul. He looked at Luna, his mind clear and resolute.

She smiled and cupped his face. "How's your focus now, Dray? You know now that you have hope and happiness in you. And we both know that you will fight to save it, right? You will fight for Harry... and me and your brothers. Don't forget that, Draco. Don't forget who you are. Voldemort and the others didn't... couldn't take that away... no matter how hard they tried."

Draco had some tears in his eyes, that he wiped away. He hugged her. "Thank you so much, Luna."

"No, Draco. Thank you. You gave me focus. You gave me hope and the will to survive. I would have never gotten out of the bad place without you. Come on!" she said, excitedly, taking his hand and pulling him. "Let's go help Hagrid learn Cheering Charms! I want to see you laugh."

"Oh Salazar... please no!" Draco said, horrified, but went along with her willingly anyway.

***

Graham apparated seven different places before he landed in front of the Widowmaker's home. He still approached cautiously, though it had been the fourth time he had met with her. He was anxious, the fiery burn in his stomach was only growing more painful. His fear of her would never truly abate, no matter how often he came, and she did nothing to ease his apprehension. He was going to have to go to St. Mungo's for a stomach tonic, if this kept up.

"Hello?" he said to the front door, deathly afraid to even touch the door.

"Traditionally people knock on the door."

Graham jerked around and she was behind him, which didn't calm his nerves. "I... you usually know I'm here, mas-madam."

She stared at him until he dropped his gaze. "You don't look very well."

He nodded.

"I'm not going to kill you."

Again, he nodded, refusing to look at her.

"Is this how you act when you are at the Ministry?" she asked.

"No. I am an Auror," he stated.

"You're just beyond scared of me?"

His shoulders slumped and he nodded.

She stepped closer. "Graham... I'm not going to hurt you."

The brand on his hand itched. He could feel it. But there was more to it than obedience. He was bound to her and she was quite capable of squashing like a bug. "Yes, ma'am."

She sighed and opened the door. She directed him to a sitting room and he took a seat on a bench. She asked, "How is Adrian?"

"Better. He's back at his post. He managed to install Extendable Ears into the homes of Edgecombe, Bertram Aubrey and Eddie Carmichael. He didn't want to risk the Auror floos, yet. They might be able to sense them. But all three don't monitor their floo calls very well. Edgecombe just thinks because she's the one spying on everyone else, that no one would think to spy on her. Aubrey is Hopkirk's figurehead in the Department of International Magical Cooperation. He's a right bastard. Carmichael's a decent bloke, but he's not one to rock the flying carpet. Ravenclaw, like Hopkirk, but reports the happenings of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. He was instructed by her to report everything as werewolf attacks."

She nodded, approvingly. "Good. Do you think he can be turned?"

"Possibly. If he knows it's the right play."

"He's a Ravenclaw. Appeal to his logic and not his ideology. If you try, but be subtle. But, just so you know, Bertram is a loud-mouth bastard. Watch who he interacts with and add them to the list."

The not-really-metaphorical list was growing. They were building a case against them. The Extendable Ears had a handy recording charm on them that stored hours upon hours of conversations. Quite ingenious really. The Weasley twins might have nearly put him in St. Mungo's for the rest of his life, but they were smart blokes.

"Okay. I think they are moving on Savage. Robards is hinting at sacking her or worse. He's been putting her on more dangerous assignments, too."

"She's Minerva's," the Widowmaker stated.

"Yes, from what I've been able to ascertain. I can't help her out of this one."

"She can fight her own battles. You are a spy, not a saboteur. Don't take any risk that would jeopardize yourself."

"Yes, ma'am," he mumbled. "But I've heard two different plots to take out Kingsley."

"Two, huh?"

"Yes. One that the werewolf pack is going to hit him at his house next weekend. Another says that his tea will be poisoned. I heard Hopkirk say that one, myself. Perhaps we should warn him?"

"No."

He was taken aback. "But... if they kill him...."

"Calm yourself, Graham. She's checking the seals on her network. Misdirection. Quite a Slytherin move," she explained. "Don't fall into traps."

"What if she's not?" he asked.

"You are to observe and report. You don't intercede. If we act on this, then you would be burned out of Ministry, arrested or killed. I do not want that to happen to you. You must remain in good standing with her for as long as possible. That includes letting others fall and helping Hopkirk to do it. Trust that Kingsley can check for poisons and guard himself when he sleeps."

"Okay... but when should I act?"

"Only when you have no other choice. Like you or Adrian's cover is blown, or they really are about to kill the Minister. Gathering intel is your mission. Do not take any action that will risk your cover. Actually, it might be prudent to expose Savage. If she is already suspected, you won't be really damning her. You can build your credibility by destroying hers."

Graham looked at her shocked. "But... what if they...."

"What? Kill her? That seems a bit extreme. If she's being subtly put in danger, they aren't willing to kill her outright. Most likely she'll be sent to Azkaban."

Graham frowned, but nodded. Savage knew the risks.

"Anything else?"

He had to resist shaking. "I... they...." The fear was nearly crushing him. He was almost hyperventilating. He didn't want to say anything, but he owed Blaise.

"Breathe... tell me. It's going to be alright."

No, it wasn't. He slid off the bench to his knees, afraid that she might lash out at him. He got his breathing under control and said, "I didn't want... they came. Asked questions."

"They?"

He rubbed the R on his arm, though it was a glamour. "Miles... and Warrington... and that Romanian kid."

"I see," she said, and he felt the room grow colder. He lowered his head more. "What did they want?"

"To confirm what they already suspected... and how to fix it. They wanted to go after Blaise. They think he did it and want it off. I didn't want to commit to anything. I'm sorry," he said, tensing up.

"Get up," she growled, and he reluctantly did. "I'm not going to hurt you because they talked to you. Did they mention any plans?"

He swallowed. "No, ma'am... just thought of calling him out or jumping him during a Hogsmeade visit."

"Very well. But if it is necessary, insert yourself into their plans."

"Yes, mast... ma'am." He winced and couldn't even tell if the slip was his own fear or it was driven by the spell anymore.

She sighed. "I'm not going to hurt you, Graham. How many times do I have to say that?"

"It might be the spell," he whispered.

"It shouldn't be, but you have nothing else?"

He pulled out the documents that he had stolen and copied and she took them. "Good. You can go. Next Monday at ten."

He nodded and sped out the door, eager to be out of the house. A few jumps later, he arrived at his house and Adrian let him in.

"What'd'she say?" he rushed.

"Don't do anything."

"About Kingsley or... M-Miles?"

"Nothing about the Minister, but she said that I should join them... if they press, again. You do not. I don't care what she says. I don't want you near him," Graham said. Miles had hurt him a lot, too, though he hadn't been as bad as Flint and his year mates.

Adrian trembled. "I don't either. What if they... come visit me?"

"Find a way to send for me or leave, okay?"

"Okay," Adrian mumbled.

He had been doing better as of late, hardly any breakdowns and he'd been eating and sleeping more often. He understood his mission. Graham looked at their evidence gather so far. Most were illegally obtained, but as an Auror, he could come up with a few ways to legitimately gain access to it all. He would have to stay alive to testify to it. He ate dinner and after a brief summary of what happened, he laid down in his bed, worried and nervous.

It didn't take too long for Adrian to slip in and cuddle up next to him. He wasn't sure why Adrian started to do this. Graham was barely bi, but Adrian only liked guys, plus he was traumatized. No way was Graham going to risk their relationship by taking advantage of him. Sex was not happening. Ever. Graham just held him, trying to give him the love and support that he so desperately needed.

***

Blaise was exhausted. If teaching for hours on end was enough, he had extra duty patrols, too. He could see karmic payback in his punishment. Smith couldn't sleep for a month and now he would feel the exhaustion, too. He managed to convince Neville to get some sleep in their private staff room, without him. He almost had to stun him, but Neville finally agreed to go sleep, so he would be the one to get him up in the morning. Nev also finished grading his fourth years' essays for him. Thank Salazar's slick for that.

Near nine, Draco and Luna came back from Hagrid's and Draco was chuckling like a maniac. Luna left him in his care, stating that it would fade in an hour.

Draco could barely speak he was laughing so hard. "He-He... ha... he o-over d-did it."

"You think?"

"S-he m-made me d-do it!"

"Well, Luna's smart enough to make you be the laboratory murtlap."

Draco tried to tell him off, but overcome with giggles.

"Where's Potter, anyway? I thought he was regulated to these types of duties, now?"

"He's... t-t-talking..." Draco tried, but ran out of breath from laughing.

Blaise laughed as he patted Draco's back. "Oh, yeah. He's with Bill. At least, Luna knows how to lighten your mood, eh?"

Draco gave him a smile and nodded, though his laughter was getting creepy.

"Whas'll this blasted noise!" cried the old, cranky caretaker soldiering into the hall, as though he was its only protector. "Quiet down, now!" Don't yeh have anything better to do than to disturb the whole castle!"

Blaise glared at Filch as Draco dropped to the floor unable to control his laughter at all. Blaise chuckled, "Sorry, there's not much to be done. He got hit with a Cheering...umm...a Laughter Charm. It won't wear off for an hour."

"Don't yeh give me that! Did Madam Pomfrey see 'im?"

"There's no point to disturb her. There's no getting rid of it."

Draco tried to muffle his mouth, but it did little good as he was gasping for air, too. "So, the rest of us jus' has to listen to him! Nah... I'll be talking to the headmistress about this! It's quiet hours! Students should not be out of bed!"

"I'm a professor and he doesn't have a curfew. Do we have to do this every time?"

"Bah! You're going to wake the whole bloody castle!" he shouted.

"Mr. Filch!" the headmistress called as she came. "Blaise? What has happened?"

"Oh... well, you see..." Blaise said and glanced down at Draco, now down to a low snicker. "It's Cheering Charm. I can't make him stop."

"I see," she said, but didn't ask how it happened. "Well, the halls are seemingly empty, tonight. Take him back to the dorm tonight and stay there."

He blinked. "You don't want me to stay on until midnight?"

She shook her head. "You may have the rest of the night off. Goodnight... and you too, Draco."

"Th-th-an-an-k..." he tried, but she accepted it as that and she walked away.

Blaise silenced him before he took him up to their dorm room. He was annoyed that Harry wasn't back, yet, but Theo and Daphne found Draco's laughing fit hilarious. Blaise warded the room and released the spell on him, because Draco might need something. He slumped on his bed, chuckling in annoyance, but the spell started to fade, to the point where he could make some conversation, but was still laughing like a homicidal maniac.

"Hagrid needs to work on Cheering Charms," Blaise commented.

"Not on me he won't!" Draco said, still giggling slightly.

"Though it was nice to see you laughing."

"Not for an hour!" Draco grumbled, angrily, but it had less of an effect when he was smiling.

Blaise checked the time and wondered if he should get back to his boo... no fiancé. His head popped up and he realized that they didn't even know. Neville had only said that he wanted to tell his grandmum in person, so he didn't want to make it public, yet. He hadn't said anything about keeping it from their friends. Theo and Daphne were on their bed. He almost sent Daphne out, but that wasn't necessary. They were friends, now and Theo loved her. Blaise sat down on Draco's bed, next to the cackling idiot and removed the glamour on his ring.

"Theo, Daph? Can you guys come over here?" he said, and Draco sat up next to him, instantly alert, regardless of the chortling.

"What's wrong, Blaise?" Theo said, walking over. Daphne stayed by the bed. She still was uncertain about staying as their relationship was always a bit rough.

"Nothing is wrong," he said, with a smile and wondered if Neville should be here. Some part of him wanted to tell his friends without him, though. Neville would make them be on their best behavior.

"Ha... Ha..." Draco said, trying to fight the charm. "Well, something is on your mind."

Blaise smiled. "I have a confession...."

"Confession?" Theo repeated, but Draco was quite still, worried about him.

"Yeah. I've been keeping something from you all."

"What?" Draco said, shaking.

Blaise had to control his expression. "Well... something happened last Saturday...."

Draco straightened up, ready to hex the fuck out of someone. Blaise loved seeing him like this, but he then held up his hand for them to see. Draco and Theo were confused, but Daphne gasped, "A ring!"

Draco's grey eyes locked onto it. "Blaise?"

Blaise just smiled back, but suddenly he was tackled into the mattress by Draco and Theo.

"You're engaged! You're fucking engaged!" they screamed at him while hugging them and squeezing him so hard he couldn't breathe.

"Oww! You're squashing me!" he said, as they pressed him into the mattress.

"Good!" Draco said, squeezing harder.

"Keeping it from us!" Theo growled.

"Sorry! It was a bit chaotic this weekend!" Blaise muffled out.

"No excuse!" Draco chided.

"Sorry!" he straggled out and they eased off a little. He could breathe and see again. Draco was lying next to him, holding his hand, very tightly. He was smiling, really smiling.

Theo was still on top of him, nearly straddling him. He took ahold of his head with his hands and then leaned his forehead against his. Tears streamed out of his closed eyes and landed on him. "I'm... so, so happy for you, Blaise."

And he was crying. Not in the absolute-agony way, the happy way... the soul-soaring way. Blaise cherished this moment. Seeing Theo completely free of his tortured past, if only for a short while, was something that was worth more than anything. Theo's trembling hands slipped down and gripped his shirt over Blaise's heart. His breathing was rough, as though he was experiencing true happiness for the first time. He was, in many ways. His eyes popped open and Blaise could tell he wasn't trapped in his head anymore. He had never seen him so... open before.

"Blaise..." Theo said, his voice a little shaky.

"I'm right here," he whispered back, unable to keep the tears out of his own eyes.

"You deserve... this... you deserve him... happy... deserve to be happy," Theo rambled, no doubt confused by the emotions he was feeling.

Blaise smiled fondly, enjoying every second of seeing Theo like this. It was why he didn't want Neville or Harry to be here. Neither Theo nor Draco could let their emotions out with an audience. It showed how much Daphne was in their circle that none of them seemed to mind her there. Of course, Blaise knew he was the holdout in that regard. He needed to strengthen their bond, too.

Theo didn't shut down his emotions like normal. No, he broke down more. He closed his eyes and nearly collapsed onto Blaise's chest, crying into him. Blaise wrapped his free arm around him as Draco still held his other, but Draco completed the circle by placing his other arm on Theo's back. Their group. If pain and misery were felt by one member, they all felt it. But this was the opposite. This was marriage and there was nothing fleetingly or temporary in that. It was a future... and it was absolute joy and hope. The feeling was so strange that none of them knew how to react properly, rendered silent by the sudden uplift in emotions.

Minutes of sniffling and supportive embraces passed, and Theo said, "I... love you, Blaise. I want you to be happy."

"Me, too," Draco said, struggling to keep his tears in.

"Thanks, guys," Blaise said, pressing Theo's not-at-all-light weight into him more.

Theo just laid on him letting Blaise hold him. His tears slowly stopped and Blaise could feel his control start to reassert itself. Blaise considered that now might be the best time to bring up the wine.

"Theo... thank you... for the wine."

Theo turned his head up and looked at him for second before curling back inward, physically and emotionally.

Blaise grimaced. "I know... how much it meant to you. You didn't have to give it to me."

Theo was shaking, struggling, but he whispered, "I could have never drunk it."

"Some wines aren't meant to be drank, Theo. I would have never considered accepting it."

"I know. But you proposed to him, didn't you?"

"Yes, but...."

"Then it was worth it. Your happiness is what matters to me."

"I was... happy... without you giving up something that meant so much to you," Blaise said, with tears in his eyes.

Theo shivered and Blaise's heartrate picked up. He shared a look with Draco, who was alarmed, tense. They were going deep. But Theo didn't stop the conversation. His controls were still down, again.

"It hurt to see it... to know it was there. What it meant... was a promise of better times, a remembrance of love and devotion. I wanted you to be happy and I'm glad that I played a part in the start of your family," Theo said, slowly.

"Theo... thank you. It made me very happy... and sad. You didn't have to give me such a gift, you will always be a part of my family."

Theo gave a little sob and gripped him tighter to the point of pain. "That... was... me bringing you into my family."

"Oh, Theo..." Blaise said, placing a kiss on his head. "We are family, but you gave me one of your most treasured possessions. It shouldn't have been drunk."

His black eyes turned to look at him. "It was supposed to be...."

"Of course, but...."

Theo interrupted. "She said... she said... that she got a bottle every year... for their anniversary."

Blaise's heart nearly stopped. Theo never talked about his mother. Draco and Daphne were frozen, too. This was unprecedented. He almost wanted him to keep talking, but he was deeper than he had ever gone before.

Theo buried his head into his chest, but whispered, "He-He wasn't s-supposed to get out... he w-wasn't going to come back... she said. But she got it to remember their love, their good times... and the start of their life. It was same k-kind of wine that they had-had at their wedding, and they always got another bottle of it every year to celebrate."

"Theo..." Blaise said, pain-laced into his voice.

"She... she g-got a larger bottle... she wanted me to drink a glass w-with her."

Blaise shared a look with Draco, who was equally scared about was afraid that he might go too deep. Daphne stayed where she was and let them handle it.

"But we d-didn't get to... they c-came," Theo said, and started to cry, stopping his sudden downward slide into the past.

Blaise hugged him tightly, praying to Circe and Salazar that he was going to be okay. "Oh, Theo... I'm so sorry." He squeezed harder as Theo sobbed into his chest. Blaise could almost feel him fighting to regain his control. "I'm right here, Theo... just cry it out. You don't have to keep going. I understand, okay?"

Theo struggled for several minutes before he stopped the tears. He looked up at him, again. He was strangely in the present. Blaise could only hope that it was because he was thinking about the happier memories, not the dark stuff. Theo bit his lip.

"Are you okay?" Blaise whispered, running his fingers through Theo's hair.

He nodded, but said, "I wanted to give it to you. I wanted someone to enjoy it... with someone they love."

"We did. Neville, the lightweight marshmallow, even liked it. It meant so much to me, Theo. I just didn't want to take something that meant so much to you."

"I-I just wanted it... for you, too. That tradition, that m-memory of your love. Neville is yours... I wanted to be part of that... of you... and him, happy. You did so much for me."

"You mean a lot to me too, Theo. You're my blood brother. But to give me something that was your... mother's...."

Theo's eyes watered, again, and he shook his head. "It hurt every time I looked at it, Blaise, but now... it was used for something... good... a happy moment. It makes me feel happy... that you shared it with your love. It's what it was meant to be... not a bad memory. Please accept my gift, it would mean so much to me."

Blaise pulled Theo closer to him. "I will, Theo. Thank you. It made me very happy when I saw it... and I know it meant a lot to you. I couldn't have thought of a better moment to give Neville this and propose." He let go of Theo and brought his left hand in between them to show Theo.

"It's a beautiful ring, Blaise. I couldn't be happier for you... to see you so... complete. I've seen you suffering for so long... I wanted to see that pain gone and replaced with love. You deserve this... so much," Theo said, through tears and slid his arms under Blaise's back, hugging him. Blaise wrapped his arms around him, too, and kissed the top of his head, again.

Draco put his hand on top of Blaise's on Theo's back. "I agree. We all came together to protect you, Blaise. We wanted you to be safe... strong. We were so worried about you and I only wish I had done more."

"You saved me, Draco. You did. It wasn't going to matter if you did it then or months before. He already hurt me beyond words," Blaise said, quietly.

Theo sat up. "We knew for a long time, Blaise. We were too... scared to fight back. To afraid to stand up to him... but when Draco did... I wasn't afraid of him anymore. I wanted to help you... free you from that bastard."

"You stayed at my bedside all morning until I woke up," Blaise breathed. "I didn't know I had friends... real friends, brothers."

"You do, Blaise," Draco said. "And now... we're getting a brother-in-law, too."

Blaise laughed and said, "Yeah... but... not that I mind... but can you get off, Theo? You weigh a ton."

Theo looked down and said, "Oh... sorry," before getting up.

"He doesn't weigh a ton," Daphne said, coming closer to the bed and taking Theo's hand. He gave her a look and she smiled at him, probably happy that he had opened up so much.

Blaise sat up and rubbed his stomach. "Well, I'm sure I got some bruises from that assault."

"That's your own fault," Draco said and then took his hand to look at his ring. "The Gryffindor didn't mind green and silver?"

"No, thank Salazar's balls for that. Red... eish!" Blaise shuddered and Draco laughed.

"So... why'd didn't you tell us?" he then asked. "You put a glamour on it."

"I wanted to, but with all that happened... the game, the blowout and Harry... I didn't want to tell you guys in the middle of it."

"It might have helped."

"Maybe," Blaise laughed. "But Neville... he wants to tell his grandmum... before it's public. We can go visit her over the break."

"Why wait?" Draco said.

"Umm... what?"

"Why are you waiting? Go see her."

Blaise looked at him, confused. They were in the middle of term.

"We adults, now. You are a professor. Harry leaves every other weekend to see his godson. Go on Sunday or Saturday after our game and tell her," Draco insisted.

Blaise thought about it and smiled. "That's a good idea! Thank you!" He hugged Draco.

"No problem, Blaise. You're so great with him. You two belong together."

"Thanks," Blaise said, giving Draco a squeeze before letting him go. Draco's approval meant a lot to him.

"What are you going to say to your mum?" Theo asked, suddenly.

Blaise shrugged. "I'm pretty sure she knows it was going to happen. I told her about him... and that we loved each other. She talked to him, too. Scared the fuck out of him. My job is to make sure she never curses him... that's what he told me."

Draco and Theo laughed, and Draco clapped his hand on his shoulder. "Well, good luck with that."

"Thanks."

"So... when are you two going to...?" Daphne trailed off.

"We didn't get that far. Not 'til summer, at least. We both want to take some educational courses on teaching to get better during the summer, too."

"You really plan on staying here, don't you?" she asked.

"Yeah... I really want that. Not just because he's here... but I like it. Working with that Pritchard kid was... I don't know... fulfilling? Teaching is... amazing. I always liked showing you guys how to modify your curses... and I like showing people that there is more to magic than memorizing words."

"Yep... you are a professor. Soon you will be going bald and wearing cardigans under your robes," Draco drawled.

"I will not! I would never wear such a horrid piece of clothing, thank you very much!" he growled and rubbed his short hair, worriedly.

Daphne and Theo chuckled at him. Blaise stood up and winced at the pain in his chest.

"Sorry," Theo apologized.

"It's fine. I already knew that was going to happen."

Daphne came forward and hugged him, too. "I am really happy for you, Blaise. Really. He's a nice guy and you're going to have a great life together."

"Thanks, Daph. Didn't want to jump onto the pile?" he said, holding on to her.

"No... that was for you three morons," she muttered.

Blaise leaned back and said, "You're part of the group, Daph. I'm sorry if you haven't felt like it."

"Thanks, I do feel closer, but we all know it's you three that have the blood bond. The rest of us are just adopted into it."

Blaise moved her bangs out of the way and kissed her head. "I'll protect you like I would Theo, Daph."

She blushed. "Thank you, Blaise. I will take care of him and I know that's what is important to you."

It was. He didn't care if she hated him, but as long as Theo was happy... he would accept her. Blaise nodded and looked to Theo and asked, "So, who do I have to thank for that dinner, anyway? I just can't believe you set that up."

Theo chuckled in agreement, but Draco asked, "What dinner?"

"Oh... you don't know?" Blaise said, and guessed Draco hadn't set it up, either.

"No... but I'm guessing that the Barolo was involved... and a marriage proposal," Draco said, smiling.

Blaise laughed. "Yeah... you're right there. But someone... set up a romantic dinner in the watchtower with mine and Neville's favorite dishes... and the wine. It was... perfect... to propose."

"Awww," Daphne cooed.

"Shut it," Blaise grunted, but he smiled, ecstatic just saying it. "But... since the wine came from Theo... he must know who set it up."

Theo nodded and looked to Daphne for direction. She shrugged. "He didn't say not to tell."

"Who didn't?" Blaise asked, wondering.

"It was Weasley," Theo confessed.

"Weasley?!" Blaise repeated, completely astounded.

"Ron?" Draco said, equally surprised.

"What? Why?" Blaise asked. He wasn't friends with Weasley and it seemed a strange way to curry Potter's favor, as they had been fighting at that point.

Theo looked at Daphne, again and she rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll explain it. Ron said that he owed Neville. I guess he had been... nice to Ron... with everything that happened since school started."

"So... he planned a dinner for us?"

Theo nodded. "He said that you were the most important thing to Neville."

"He wanted to know what you liked to eat... and then Theo offered the... wine," Daphne explained.

Blaise felt a bit stumped. He didn't even like Weasley. He suffered him for Draco's sake, but he had put on a really fantastic dinner for him. "Huh."

Draco stared at him and Blaise couldn't offer him an explanation... or anything really. He didn't even know the kid. But Draco said, "Gryffindors tend to surprise us, don't they?"

"I'd say... he really did all that? A set table, charmed windows... Heating Charms?" Blaise asked.

"We told him to ask Kreacher, too," Daphne said. "Sounds like you're indebted to that git."

Blaise glared. "Huh," he repeated, but then felt the wards starting to give. "I think your Gryffindor is home."

Draco looked to the door with a smile and removed the wards without his wand. Merlin's shriveled up balls, he was getting powerful.

Harry nearly fell into the door as the wards gave and straightened up. "What the hell? I've been out here for over twenty minutes."

"Sorry, Slytherin bonding time. Red-blooded Gryffindors weren't invited," Blaise said.

Harry glared. "Ha ha, Blaisey. No really... what's going on?"

"Nothing. I'll see you guys later," Blaise said.

"You going for some Gryffindor bonding time, now, eh?" Harry mused.

Blaise laughed. "I guess you could say that, buuuttt I'm using my extra time to sleep."

"Where are you going to sleep? Neville isn't in his room," Harry asked.

"I have my secrets, Mr. Potter. Nite guys," Blaise said, walking out the door and down the landing.

Weasley and Hermione were sitting on the couch in front of fire, not talking, just holding hands and leaning into each other. Blaise smiled, though still annoyed that he was in the Gryffindor's debt. Maybe that idiot wasn't that bad. Guess he could help him out on the girlfriend front. Hermione will thoroughly enjoy hearing about his dinner... and he'd surprise her with who set it all up. He guessed he had to thank him, too, but he'd have to work up to that. Saying thanks was something he didn't do lightly.

Blaise headed out the portrait hole without making a sound and up to the room he shared with Neville. He was drooling on one of the essays he was correcting for him. Blaise carefully lifted him and carried him over to the bed. He stripped off his clothes and wormed his way up against Neville. His fiancé turned and kissed him, with his eyes shut.

"Goodnight, mio amore."

Blaise probably should teach him the correct way to say it, but that was for another day. He kissed him back and whispered, "Ti amo, la mia anima gemelli."

***

"Do I want to know what happened?" Harry asked Draco after they hid behind their curtains and wards.

"Probably, but I'll let you hear it from your friend. Now... how did your night go?"

"Denkar was annoying. Waste of time. But Bill invited me to stay and learn some Gobbledgook... so I might start going to his Tuesday night class."

Draco smiled. "That's great, Harry. I'll be out with Ha-Luna."

"I know about Hagrid. He told me that you're helping him study for the OWLs," Harry said.

"Oh, okay... I'll be at Hagrid's then. Though he hit me with a very hard Cheering Charm tonight. I couldn't stop laughing for nearly an hour."

Harry laughed. "And I missed that?"

"It was very annoying."

"I'll bet."

"So... are you up for...?"

"Do you have to ask? What do you want to do?"

"I wouldn't mind torturing you, tonight," Draco said, his eyes alight with some fire in them.

"Hmm... yes... torture. But we aren't alone... what if one of them gets up to go to loo?"

Draco was past caring about that, apparently. "Blaise didn't even say anything when he walked in on us. Theo's less likely to mention it and Daphne isn't known for being sassy, either. So, strip, Potter."

"You're in a good mood," Harry replied, while he pulled off his pants.

"Yes. I am," Draco drawled, removing his own clothes.

Harry let Draco push him down into the pillows. He half-expected the cuffs, again. He knew Draco liked the control, but he didn't this time. Draco straddled his waist, then pulled his hands over his head and held them there. He leaned in to latch onto the sweet spot on his neck and sucked until Harry nearly lost consciousness. Then Draco started to make his way down, leaving hickies all down his chest. His dick was already rock hard and ready to release.

"Yep... torture. Fuck," Harry hissed as Draco gently suckled his nipple.

Draco hummed victoriously, keeping Harry aching for relief. His hands were still pinned by Draco's, but his legs were being forced apart by Draco's strong, lengthily legs. Merlin, Harry wanted so much to touch him. His legs, his tight ass. Draco was beautiful, inside and out. Harry spread open for him and his tip touched Draco's.

"Draco...."

"You held me captive longer than this, Harry," Draco sneered.

"I rescued your mum, today," he shot back.

"My my... playing the 'I saved your mum' card already? Just for some release, now?" Draco scoffed, in a playful tone.

"I just...."

"Oh no... you want to cash that card in now? I would have saved that for something more."

"Well, you don't have to..." Harry started.

"Nope. You want to use it, now? Okay, then," Draco drawled and brought his cock in next to his. One hand kept Harry's hands pinned above his head, but he brought his other down to squeeze their dicks against each other as Draco thrusted his back and forth against his.

"Ho-ly fuck!" Harry gasped and Draco chuckled as he kissed him.

They both lightly rubbed against each other and Harry felt his stomach clench up before he came. Draco came with him, but didn't let go of him. He stayed there, straddling him, legs forcing him open and he had a dazed look in his eyes as he panted from the effort.

"You okay?" Harry said, already sleepy.

"Yeah... I... w-was... I... umm... do you... umm... think..." Draco trailed off and didn't elaborate. Harry was wondering he was trying to confess.

Harry tilted his head. "I'm the one who doesn't speak coherently, Draco. What's up?"

"I... you-you said... that I wasn't ready... then... but... maybe we could... try it?"

Harry's heart nearly stopped as he lay there frozen under Draco. "Now?" he squeaked.

Draco smirked a little at that, but shook his head. "Soon? I... feel like... we are... ready."

Harry started breathing a bit easier. "If... if you think you are ready... I think I am too. We... umm... should get used to... umm... touching?"

"I just wanked you off," Draco pointed out.

"Yeah... well... we-we've been avoiding... the other areas." Harry did not like the way Draco tensed up. He just kept his mouth shut and waited. Draco had to figure this out and if he really wanted to do it.

"Now?" Draco echoed, a bit of fear in his voice.

"You can touch me if you want... but we don't have to do anything, tonight."

Draco's eyes drifted, provocatively over his body. Harry felt a chill as Draco ordered, "Don't move."

Harry didn't, willingly anyway. His member was already twitching back to half-mast with just the suggestion of touching. Draco reached out and stroked his spent cock. Harry shivered, but he didn't jerk. He wanted Draco to feel comfortable, especially if he was considering going to the next step. His fingers drifted up and down, more exploring than trying to tease him. When he cupped his balls, Harry let out a moan, but didn't break his posture. Draco's fingers probed his ass cheeks, kneading and wiggling his fingers into his crack. Harry's dick was now fully erect, again.

"That didn't take long," Draco chuckled as his hands went down under Harry's thighs and back to his butt.

Harry so wanted him to say to turn over, but Draco didn't. He was scared. This was a step and Harry was glad for it, even a small one. He wanted Draco to be comfortable with even just this. Draco was trembling a little, and he smiled, trying to be reassuring. When Draco hit the spot, the clenched hole, Harry jolted.

"What was that, Harry?" Draco purred.

"Sorry... it was just... d-different."

Draco pressed his finger back against it and Harry had to really focus on keeping still. Godric's nob... he wanted Draco to go further. Push it in. He wanted Draco to take him, right then and there. Pride was the only thing keeping him from confessing it. But he knew Draco needed it... and needed to decide that on his own. Harry wouldn't push. He only suggested touching because, if Draco couldn't handle this, then they had no business doing anything else, yet.

Draco continued running his fingers over the hole as Harry's prick became more and more strained. "You want me to keep touching you? Or should I grant you release?"

Harry groaned, but said, "Whatever you want, Draco... you are in charge tonight. I am your willing captive."

"Whatever I want... okay... I want you to spread as wide as you can go," Draco ordered.

Harry was already spread open, but he brought his legs up more, bending them like he knew they should be. His cock flailed up into the air as free as it could be. Draco's fingers caressed his inner thigh, almost tickling him, as he worked his ass more, roughly massaging it. Harry was straining as his prick bobbed up and down, begging for attention.

"Please..." he pleaded.

"Tut tut... you said whatever I want."

"Doesn't mean I can't beg."

"You call that begging?" Draco sneered with a smirk. "I think you can try harder than that."

Harry was getting goosebumps hearing Draco like this. "Please, Draco... please I need release. I'll do anything."

"Anything? That's an interesting offer. How about some shower sex in the morning?"

"Yes... anything. I'll suck you off, again... please."

"And I can wash your hair?"

"You can brush it, too," Harry chuckled.

Draco nodded and laughed. "But no jerking off. I get to decide when you come."

Harry stared at him, his mouth dry and his prick only getting harder. He nodded in agreement. Draco smiled, lowered his head and his lips wrapped around his dick. Harry's hips nearly jumped off the bed, but he forced them back down. Draco was working his ass, again, his fingers questing along his crack, touching that spot, while his tongue flapped against his member.

"That feels so fucking good... fuck, I love you, Draco," Harry gushed, as he approached his climax.

Draco stopped and pulled off him. "Are you sure that you're not just saying that because his lips are on your... prick?"

Harry frowned for the loss of contact but looked down at Draco. "You can stop... and I'll still say I love you. I'll just be... uncomfortable and frustrated."

"Well, we can't have that," Draco scoffed and took him in his mouth, again, sucking lavishly.

Harry didn't last a minute before he came, again. Draco continued sucking and pulling him member until every drop was out. "Merlin, Draco. That was... umm... can I move, now?" His arms were staring to lose feeling, being stuck over his head for so long.

"I guess. I do need your hand, though," Draco said, collapsing next to him.

Harry lowered his arms, rejoicing in the fresh blood flowing to his arms. "My hand?"

"Sure," he said, guiding it to down to Draco's hard member. "My hands were occupied."

"Oh, Draco... I would love to pull you off... unless you want me to blow you, now, too?"

"No, I want to stare at you... and kiss you," he said and Harry didn't hesitate to move in closer, plunging his tongue into Draco's mouth and getting a hint of the spunk that Draco had swallowed.

Harry kissed him like he was the only thing in the world that matter to him. While his hand pumped his shaft, he wanted to touch Draco like he had touched him, but Draco hadn't said that he wanted that. Harry would never do anything without Draco's permission first. He could wait. They could wait. As far as Harry was concerned, they had the rest of their lives to figure it out. He smiled as white cum, gushed out of Draco's tip and Harry milked as much as he could out.

***

The next morning Eirene checked the clock, again. They were late. She might have expected it from Harry, but Ron hadn't been nearly as argumentative about coming. She tapped her foot impatiently as ten minutes slid by and was starting to think they weren't coming at all. But the door swung open and they both came in. Ron was looking annoyed, so Harry must have been the late one.

"Sorry, I woke up late," Harry claimed, but she noticed that his hair was flecked with water. He must have showered, something Harry didn't normally bother doing.

"You still had time for a shower?" she asked and Harry went a little red.

Interesting, she thought, but let the matter drop. His sexual activities weren't of concern right now, on the contrary, they were signs of a normal, healthy relationship. "So, Ron... how have the last few days gone? Any issues?"

He shook his head. "We haven't hung out that much, except at meals. We have evening classes."

"I thought you were both off on Tuesday nights?" she asked.

"Shows what you know," Harry scoffed, and she raised her eyebrows. "Sorry. Bill suggested that I learn Gobbledegook, so I stayed last night for his Goblin Politics class. He intermingles their language as part of the curriculum."

"And why this sudden interest in Goblins?" she asked, curiously. Most wizards considered learning the language, as not necessary. Nearly all goblins spoke the native tongue.

Harry glared at her. He clearly hated her knowing more about his life. "I felt like it."

She nodded and looked at Ron to continue. He struggled to start, but got going. "Well... I...uh... it is going good? I think? It's been friendly between us. Hermione was spending more time with me... us. She's happy being with me."

"Have you started up your relationship with her again?"

Harry was grimacing until Ron said "yes". Eirene almost sighed at how persistent he was being with his defiance. She wasn't trying to agitate him more, she wanted to help him.

"How do you feel about that, Harry?"

Harry's guard immediately went up, but he said, "I'm happy for them... both of them. Hermione really loves him and this whole thing put her in the middle of our... misunderstanding."

"Is misunderstanding what you are calling it?"

"Well, fuck-up seems a bit crass, don't you think?" he snapped back.

Merlin save her. This was going to be a long year. He was using his paranoia to hide behind his traumatic memories. "It is. So, why you think that you were avoiding Ron at the start of the summer?" Harry tightened up and Eirene knew she had hit her mark. The battle had shaken him, she could see that much.

"I... didn't want to intrude... on their loss," he said.

"Really? Are you sure that is what it was? Honesty is important, Harry," she stated, plainly.

"And what would you know?"

"I know that you are lying."

Harry's eyes narrowed and he regarded her suspiciously. He was trying, very poorly to occlude his mind.

"A little late for Occlumency, Harry. You should have guessed that I had some skill with it, even if you only have a rudimentary knowledge of it."

"And why do you know it?" he demanded. Ron looked back and forth between them, but stayed quiet.

"The term Mind Healer doesn't mean the same as a muggle psychiatrist or psychologist. I have to treat magical syndromes and ailments, too. Some of which require Occlumency. Plus, it was handy when I was determining recommendations to the Ministry."

"So, you work for the Ministry?" Harry spat angrily.

"Not anymore, Harry. Don't let your paranoia cloud your judgment. I am your healer and yours alone. When I worked with the Ministry, I told that to my assigned patients. That a review was ordered in their case."

"And how long did you work for the Ministry?"

She paused considering. "I started at the in the Ministry two years after Voldemort fell, the first time. I quit five years ago."

"Why?"

"I thought we were going to talk about you?"

"Well, now we aren't. Honestly is important... you know?" Harry mocked.

"I'm not lying."

"Intentionally withholding information is."

She nodded. "If we talk about this, you will owe me an answer... to several questions. Do we have a deal?"

"I will tentatively agree," he said, maintaining eye contact. He was making sure she told the truth.

"I left because the Minister, then Cornelius Fudge, ordered me to drop an MCAPS investigation... because the right person asked him to," she said, simply. Technically, talking about it any further would be in danger of triggering the magical contract on Blaise and the legal ramification because it was a Ministry case.

Harry grimaced. "Because he overrode you? Or the case?"

"Because politics decided who I could help and who I couldn't. I had to be able to live with myself, so I left. I did do some work for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, after, but they couldn't control what I said and did. If they let someone out or held them, it was on their shoulders if they went against my recommendation."

"You wanted autonomy then?" he assessed.

"I wanted what was best for my patients, no matter who they are. Freedom from the Ministry's control was only a plus. But it was the best for the people I helped."

Harry watched her carefully, considering. She wasn't out of it yet and he stated, "Five years ago was when Blaise was first reported to MCAPS."

She controlled her reaction. She couldn't affirm anything.

"Blaise said you were his MCAPS officer."

"If that is what he said, but I can't confirm or deny it. Just like I can't talk about these sessions to anyone, as neither of you have granted that permission. I can't even bring up conversations I've had with either of you privately... as that would be a breach."

Harry stared at her for a long time. "How do you feel about the Ministry?"

"Generally? It is a political body, drown in the high amount of red tape and loopholes," she said, neutrally.

"That wasn't a very clear answer."

"Well, that wasn't a very clear question. What are you asking me? If the Ministry is corrupt? Of course. I think it's horrible, but most people would say that about the Ministry."

"If they did as you say... buried your case... did nothing. How did that make you feel?" Harry growled, his eyes watching her closely, almost using Legilimency.

Eirene felt her old anger churn to the surface. The memory Fudge threatening to fire and strip her accreditations. "I hate them for it. It's why I left," she confessed.

"So, do I need to worry about you going to the same pricks about my business," he queried. This was very important for him to know. It wasn't paranoia or wasn't just that. He had secrets that they couldn't know.

"No... I swear to you that, Harry. If the bonds of the magical contact aren't enough for you... believe me... I'd never hand anyone over to the Ministry. There's nothing fair in that justice system."

Harry nodded and Ron looked at him, almost confused by their exchange. Harry just said, "Ask your questions... healer."

Eirene had the impression that Harry was still reserving judgment on her, but his aggression had diminished. It was a bit better than him outright hating her. He answered her questions with a bit less ire and bite, though he wasn't going to really open up to her. He admitted that being around the grief had scared him away quicker than anything else. The belief that he was somewhat responsible for Fred's death, in particular, drove that fear. The Weasley's homestead had felt so... unwelcoming to him. Ron took his hand and reassured him that no one thought that. Not George, not his mum and not him.

Harry didn't , or wouldn't, acknowledge that he believed him, and time was up before he would give a response. It was probably best they left it there. It was better if she didn't force an answer. Harry was on edge enough. After they left, she went through her usual appointments: Daphne, Asher, Dennis (who had taken Ron's old spot), Dean, Michael, Theo. Then she reached Draco's appointment, pushed back an hour.

Eirene took several deep breaths to calm her own nerves and tried not to think about the conversation she had just had with Harry... or this new planned betrayal to Blaise. Hi온라인카지노게임 was repeating. Five years ago, she had to walk away from him and leave him to fight off his demons and abusers alone. This was just as bad, worse. Forcing Blaise to confess what had had happened to him without any support and making him pretend that everything was alright just to get him to convince his best friend to talk... was so... underhanded. The "direct" talk would normally never happen until she felt her patient could handle being confronted by it. Blaise was not ready and she knew it.

Draco opened the door at the appointed time. Harry just told him that he'd be back in an hour to take him to dinner and left. Draco sat on the couch near the fire and didn't make eye contact. He wasn't willing to open up, but it was fear holding him back. Of what Eirene wasn't completely sure. She hoped that Blaise would help him in that regard, too.

"Draco. I changed the time... so we could have a joint session," she said, as a prelude.

Draco jerked his head up in horror and looked at the door, as it opened. As soon as he saw it was Blaise, he shook his head. "No... Blaise... no, you can't do this!"

Even Draco knew that this would hurt him, but Blaise wasn't deterred. He didn't spare her a glance and sat next to Draco on couch, keeping his eyes on him. His voice was clear, not to be misunderstood. "Yes... Draco. This needs to happen."

"Blaise... don't...."

"Hush," he ordered and Draco winced, stopping any noise. "Yes, we need to do this. You need to get better. Heal. Ignoring her isn't going to help you and if you've been doing it because of me... and Harry... then I'm going to fix that right, now," Blaise proclaimed.

Draco shook his head, tears coming out. He grabbed Blaise's hand, pleading silently.

"I'm sorry, Draco, for this. You can't be afraid anymore. You can't hide from it anymore. You'll get stuck in your head, again. She can help you avoid that, teach you how to cope with the memories."

Draco didn't want to believe him. The look was evident in his face, Eirene observed.

"She can! You have to talk to her, to make it hurt less. You won't go to St. Mungo's, you won't get lost in your head, again. But Draco... look at me," Blaise urged and forced Draco's head and eyes up to his. "If you don't do this... you will lose it. You will snap. There's no burying it, trust me."

Draco just stared at him, defeat in his eyes. "I can't."

"You can, Draco. Confession is good for the soul, isn't it? You'll feel better once you accept that it happened."

"I-no... I'll slip back into the pit," Draco whispered, forgetting that she was there. The pit must be a euphemism for his trauma, she thought.

"Maybe... but you will if you do nothing. Theo's been burying it for over ten years, where has it gotten him? You think that breakdown last night was normal? Or everything else that happened since his dad died? Salazar, he doesn't know how to take care of himself! And his dad put that wall up! Yours is gone, Dray. I can't lose you."

"You won't."

"I will. If you keep hiding. You have to talk to her."

Draco gave him a look and then to her, before he looked down.

Blaise took a deep breath, like he knew that wasn't going to be enough. "It's going to be fine, Draco. I'll do it. I'll show you that you can talk to her."

"No, you don't! Blaise, please don't!" Draco begged, sensing how painful this was going to be.

"Go head, hea-Madam Denkar," he said, without looking at her. He kept his head down, angled toward Draco, who was shaking.

"Well... why don't we start at the beginning, okay? Can you tell me what happened the first time?" she said, noticing Blaise had a difficult time schooling his expression.

Blaise kept his voice even, when he breathed, "I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific."

Her eyebrows went up in alarm, but she considered his meaning. "The first time... you were touched... sexually."

Draco stared horrified and pulled at Blaise's hand for him not to answer. "I'll t-talk to her, o-okay? Y-You don't have to do this!"

Eirene was amazed at their mutual desire to save the other from this pain, but Blaise cupped Draco's cheek. "This debt will be paid, Dray. You trapped me in that bathroom! You told me the words I didn't want to hear. They hurt, both me and you, but I needed it. Now, you're drowning. This will kill you... kill your soul, if you let it keep hurting you. It's poison... it's time we started trying to take it out."

Draco started crying and hugged him. "You paid your debt! You don't owe me anything, Blaise! W-What about you?"

"I'm fine, Draco. See? I'll answer her," he said, overtalking Draco's attempts to stop him. "I was twelve, the first time. I'd just come back from my first year and my mum married him... my stepfather. My first year was rough. I was a bit of loner and I wasn't that close to my friends, then. My stepfather came to my room after dinner one night while I was changing. He said that I was starting to fill out... that I was growing up, becoming a man. I... was used to him saying things like that, before then. At the start of summer, he had taught me how to do math and dress properly. He touched me when he straightened out my robes... made me sit properly.

"I liked it. He knew I liked it. I knew that he liked it," Blaise said, staring at the floor. Draco was frozen, now, as Blaise continued without direction from her. "But that night..." Blaise paused, briefly, again. "...that night, he locked the door. He said that I was almost a man. He asked me if I had ever..." Blaise took another deep breath, "...touched myself before. He said that it was normal, that it meant I was ready for grown-up things. I-I remember that I wanted to make him proud. He had talked to me, taught me something that wasn't... curses and poisons.

"He said that he wanted us to be close. He claimed that my other stepfathers had died because I didn't like them, that I was the reason they died. He asked if I wanted him to die. I said no. He was so nice to me. He didn't ignore me. He said he considered me his father and he wanted to show me how to be a man. H-He said it was important that I never... say anything, especially to my mum. She was a woman and wouldn't understand. This was a father's responsibility, after all. He even said that if she found out... he would die," Blaise snorted. "Guess he was right about that. But... I still cried for him."

Draco was shaking, fidgeting, trying to get him to stop, but Blaise ignored him.

"He told me that it would feel so good if he did it... for me. He even showed me how he... did it... before he touched me. It felt good, but not. I knew something was wrong, though. It was wrong. But he made me stay quiet... it was our secret. He bought me books, toys... sexual things. He figured out that I was... different... non-traditional. He told me it was fine, that he would still love me. Fucker even said he would never tell anyone if I kept the secret... he wouldn't out me and my mother wouldn't disown me," he said, trailing off.

"Blaise... I'm so sorry," Draco cried.

"I know, Dray, but see? I can talk about my past, reveal the things that happened. It will hurt, but she can help heal me from what happened. It's okay to speak what happened. She's not just going to pry it out of you, unless you want to tell it. She'll go slow. Start with your father and all that abuse and then work up to the bad stuff like this, okay?"

Draco bit his lip. "What if...."

"Draco... if you crack here, you'll crack anywhere, anytime. She'll be here to calm you down. She taught you the breathing thing, right? That helped. She'll go as slowly as you need her to. You just have to talk to her. I'm talking to her and Harry's talking, too. Just ask Ron when you two play chess, next time, okay? Dray... will you give it a chance and talk to her?" Blaise asked.

"Okay," Draco murmured, and Blaise took his hand.

"I'll come back if you need me, or if you don't start talking to her," he promised.

Draco nodded, looking down, afraid of that.

"Alright... I'll go. Just talk to her... for a bit."

"Blaise... you shouldn't go out alone. Let me..." Draco said, starting to get up.

"No, stay here. She'll calm you down," he said, and headed toward the door.

As he opened it, he turned and briefly met her eyes. She was struck by dead, hurt look in his eyes as he retreated emotionally. He knew that she had used him, used his pain to fix Draco. It was something that he was willing to do, but... still, the trust was gone. It had hurt him, and his empty eyes would haunt her for a long time. It was worse than when he looked at her when he was fourteen. Blaise finally lowered his eyes, broken more by his confession, then the act itself. Regardless if he had admitted it or not, Blaise had started to trust her to help him. He left without a word, more alone than ever.

OMA! That was a long wait! I'm sorry. For those who don't know, my computer died and it took abit to get a new one. I was using a 13-year old windows 7 one for a week. But I settled on a Toshiba Tecra X40. I've always liked Toshiba's, though they are called Dynabook, now. It's a good computer.

I got really messed up on the smaller keyboard. I use HOME and END buttons a lot and they were up on the top instead of next to the enter button. I actually used Sharpkeys and changed the freakin' keys! My page up and down are now home and end. I made the brackets my page up and down, changed the F1-3 keys media control keys, and disabled my CAPS lock key! Yay! I love computers!

I might have also been playing my computer games from GOG that I had to reload onto my new computer. I do love the classics. Command and Conquer and Warcraft. So, sorry I've been distracted!

Good news! I got those stories from Harley D I mentioned last chapter and backed up all the stories I read, because I've become uber-paranoid since they and some others disappeared. Ii also caused a delay in my writing. EVERYTHING WAS DISTRACTING ME FROM WRITING! Okay... if anyone wants a copy of them or my other stories I got, PM me.

Now to round this chapter with a confession of my own... it might be another long wait for 75. It's AT time again! I didn't get time last year to work on the 온라인카지노게임, but we'll see! Wish me luck that I won't get COVID living in a military barracks with a bunch of random people for over two weeks!