Draco Malfoy, Broken

25 - Separate Journeys

Posted: 10/31/2018

Happy Halloween! RIP Lily and James Potter

Harry felt his silent caterwauling spell trigger, alerting him to that Narcissa Malfoy was up and walking around. He didn't know if she was one to check on her son, so it was time to leave.

"Draco...."

His grey eyes opened suddenly and turned toward him, fear apparent.

"I have to go... she's up."

Draco nodded his head solemnly, turning away. Harry's shoulders dropped and Draco looked back at him. He glanced at the door, locking it mentally, and turned in place so he and Harry were facing each other, merely inches apart. Harry wanted so much to close that little distance and stake a claim. But he couldn't. Draco had made his feelings clear... and he had promised.

Draco hadn't, however. He ran his fingers across Harry's bare chest, feeling his scars. Harry shivered, enjoying the feeling. Draco pulled his hand back. "I'm sorry...."

"It's fine. I'm not going to complain," Harry said, with a smile.

"I can't do this to you... you don't deserve this... uncertainty."

"I don't mind."

Draco bit his lip and how it made Harry twitch. He had to move a little further away, subtly.

"What's the matter?" Harry asked.

"Thanks... for staying. It was easier."

"You didn't move... that's good, right?"

"Yeah. I didn't have a nightmare."

"Told you I'd chase them away," Harry whispered, casting a glance at the door.

"And you? Did you sleep okay?"

"I did."

The Slytherin's eyes watered, again. Harry was surprised how much the boy needed to cry, but after 18 years of repressed emotions, it was understandable that he had difficulty controlling them after a major trauma.

"Shh... calm down. Everything will get better one day," Harry said, propping his head up on his elbow.

"No, it won't. I'm cursed to be in pain forever."

"I doubt it and if you are... then I am, too. You think everything would stop once Voldemort was gone. It never stops."

"I'm sorry I...."

"Shit Draco, I didn't mean you. I didn't start drinking because of you. I stopped. After all the funerals... Fred's, and Remus and Tonks... I just wanted to curl up and die because they're gone because of me. I couldn't save them or any of the others. Ron and Hermione were dealing with their families. I didn't have anyone that would talk to me... like a friend... not a hero."

"You think I talk to you like a friend? You did save me," Draco muttered.

"You haven't asked for my autograph, yet," Harry joked. "You don't look at me with pity... or treat me like I'm broken."

"I think you've got that turned around."

"I think it goes both ways."

Draco's grey eyes brightened and they stared back at him. He smiled. "Where do we go from here...?"

"We survive..." Harry said, simply and pulled Draco into his chest, burying his face in Draco's beautiful hair.

"I think you're better at it than I am," Draco breathed.

"Are you kidding me? I met him like seven times. You lived with that creature. You're the survival expert."

"And he Avada Kedarvaed you how many times? Four?" Draco muttered.

"What?" Harry said confused and then did the math. "Oh... I guess he did. The wands messed it up... twice."

"Uh huh... the Boy Who Lived Four Times."

"Not the same ring on it. I do like Prince of Slytherin, though," Harry smirked.

Draco snorted, but didn't say anything. Harry finally let go to stare at him. Draco shrank down from his gaze, fear not totally gone. Harry had seen that in his eyes since he pulled him from Azkaban. Malfoy was afraid of him and his power over him. He was right to ask him to wait. Draco needed some self-confidence... needed to get stronger.

"We are going to be okay... Draco. Believe it. It's going to be rough at first, but it should settle down. They'll get over it after a while. You have to be strong."

"Strong is not a word I would use to describe myself."

"Try?"

He nodded. Harry pulled himself out of the bed. Draco got up to say goodbye. Harry brushed the hair from Draco's eyes. Draco was only an inch or two taller than him now. Might be more if Draco wasn't cowering so much.

Harry pulled his head down and kissed his forehead. "You can come to me for anything... I mean anything. If you don't want anyone to see, write it down, slip me a note... use a school owl. I'll fix whatever's wrong."

"Thank you...Harry... I...."

Draco's silver eyes stared back into his. Harry could see the desire... the want. How close they were, yet not touching. Harry felt the pull to move in and forget everything that they had said. Make Draco forget it. Nothing was worth holding this moment off. They belonged together. The electricity between them was undeniable. All Harry had to do was place his lips on Draco's and make the decision. It would be fine... it would.

Draco was not unaffected, too. He couldn't look away, trapped in their eye-lock. His legs shook and he was nearly hyperventilating. He wanted him. Draco couldn't hide that. He moistened his lips and it took all of Harry's willpower not to snog him to death on the spot. Harry had to force his muscles to lock down to stop himself.

"You can do it... if you want..." Draco's quiet, subdued voice muttered. He broke eye contact.

Harry straightened up. Consent. How it was building to this... he needed to connect to him, it was almost compulsory. But he stopped himself, again. Was consent enough? He was in a position of power. Draco's painful words from last night, struck him cold. "You can do whatever you want. I can't tell you no." Draco said, and that he had absolute power over him. Would he, could he betray that trust just to satisfy his lust? No... he promised and couldn't help but notice how much Draco was submitting to him. There was no resistance in him... it had gone past desire.

"No... I respect what you said yesterday... not until you're ready. I won't hurt you, too," Harry said, carefully controlling his words. If he couldn't have Kreacher submit to him, he certainly wouldn't allow a mentally and physically abused 18 year old to subjugate himself to him.

Draco's knees gave way and he nearly collapsed into Harry's chest, tears on his face. He cried, sobbing quietly. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry."

"Shh... I'm right here. There's nothing to apologize for."

Draco sniffled. "Thank you... for not.... I'm just so... fucked up."

"I promised. We'll be equals... one day," Harry whispered, holding him.

He couldn't believe how close that was. Thank Merlin, he restrained himself. He was beginning to see just how mentally troubled Draco was. But he had stopped. He had to be the one in control. He had to let Draco decide when he's ready... have more than just consent. More than giving the required permission. Draco had to be capable of deciding whether or not he wanted at action to happen.

Draco shook his head mumbled something along the lines of "never will happen". Harry just held him until footsteps approached the door.

"I have to go... I'll be right there at school. I'll be there for you."

Draco looked up to give another look into his eyes, again. Harry caressed his face and just as there was a knock on the door, he disappeared with a Pop!

Harry landed at Number 12 dropping to his knees, once again in the kitchen.

"Fuck-shit-bloody-wanker-damn-hell!" he swore, angrily.

Let him find a way to go back in time and save Draco from this pain. Kill that absolute shithead of a father, Lucius Malfoy. Kill anyone who had any part in Draco's suffering. Even kill Vance. Speaking of which... he had someone to follow-up on. Merlin save him if he wasn't in Azkaban already. He wanted to Crucio him 63 fucking times.

Harry rose up and went up the stairs. Kreacher appeared, giving him a look at his lack of clothes.

"Harry! You didn't come back last night!"

"Sorry Kreacher... I was with Draco."

The house elf stared at him almost shocked, but then smiled. "Of course! Kreacher is sorry he questioned Harry."

Amazingly, Kreacher had managed to say his name like it meant 'master'. "You can ask me questions, Kreacher. I don't mind. You still want to come with me to Hogwarts?"

"Kreacher would love to come!"

"Alright. I'm going to get some clothes on and finish packing. If you want to take anything, feel free to take it... except the stuff in the attic. I put some of Draco's stuff up there."

"Kreacher promised to not go in the attic. Plus, he's got the only thing he needs! Master Regulus's amulet!"

"Yes, you do, but you can break promises. It was not an order. I'll see you at school. You do not have to work while you are there, Kreacher."

"Kreacher lives to serve! But he will follow Harry's wishes. But Harry, a letter came for you...."

"Thanks," Harry said taking the letter, which bore Hermione's handwriting.

Harry left the house elf to his own devices and went upstairs to read Hermione's letter.

Dear Harry,

I've convinced Ron to bury the hatchet. He's willing to sit with you and only you on the train, if you are amenable. We will be looking for you.

Love, Hermione.

Harry snorted and finished packing within a few minutes. He only had to put the music box and some dirty clothes into his trunk. He shrunk it, like Draco had done and put it in his pocket. Too bad he was running short on time, or he'd go to the Ministry and demand answers about Vance. He'll have to send a letter to Penelope when he got to Hogwarts.

However, he had been spending so much time with Draco during the last two weeks, that he needed to go to Gringotts and check on his accounts. So, he Apparated to Diagon Alley in front of the white brick building, taking less precaution as he had with Draco. He walked inside and immediately the goblins watching the door jump in surprise and hit the alarm button.

Harry smiled, when ten goblins came out, ready to attack. "What seems to be the problem?" he asked innocently.

"Stand down," grunted the head security goblin that Harry recognized from the last time he visited Gringotts and was greeted with an armed response. "Mr. Potter, you should have notified us you were coming."

"Why?" Harry said, feigning ignorance.

"Because... goblins don't forget. You broke into a vault."

"With the help of a goblin," he said, flatly.

"You released a vault guardian."

"You mean the tortured and enslaved dragon you all were keeping illegally? That one?"

"Regardless... you released it."

"After the goblin, whose life I saved by the way, betrayed me."

"You caused a lot of damage."

"I think that was the dragon... for the most part."

The goblin clicked his tongue, non-impressed. "We reluctantly allowed you to return...."

"Didn't want my sizeable vault going elsewhere? Or my reputation? The Savior of the Wizarding World... kicked out of Gringotts... goes to American-ran bank. Nice headline. Can I conclude my business, Mr. Arkok?"

"You may proceed."

Harry gave the security goblin a bow, respectfully, and unless he imagined it, the goblin returned it.

He took a ride down to his vault to collect more galleons. The automatic payments from his credit card hadn't made a dent in his pile. He wondered idly if he was supposed to keep better track of his accounts. He returned up the atrium and made arrangements for funds to be automatically siphoned to Andromeda's account and he thought as an afterthought, Narcissa Malfoy's. She would most likely notice it, but he would try.

He left the bank with a half-hour to get to King's Cross. So he stopped at a small bookstore and found a children's book about his infamous dragon-ride to freedom. It was cute, though completely inaccurate. Harry bought it regardless and then Apparated to the train station's muggle bathroom.

Call it nostalgia, but he wanted to go through the wall, one last time, instead of Apparating or flooing in. With the war and the influx of eligible students for Apparition, McGonagall had permitted students to Apparate to the train station, but not to Hogsmeade. A designated point was set-up and a fireplace was built for safer transportation. But Harry opted to be a rebel and Apparated on the outside just to walk through the barrier at platform 9 ¾.

Even with his hoodie on, his classmates immediately spotted him, calling to him, mostly in a friendly way, others had adopted a cool stare. Harry paid them no mind. He scanned the crowd for Draco... or anyone he would normally talk to. He saw Nott and Zabini standing off to the side. They must be waiting for Draco, Harry thought.

"Potter! What's up with getting that fucker Malfoy out?" Zacharias Smith said, walking closer with a few other Hufflepuffs.

"Ask me again like that and you'll be spending the train ride unconscious," Harry growled.

"Excuse me?" Smith replied.

"You had no right to get him out!" Wayne Hopkins, an eighth year Hufflepuff, spat, stepping up next to Smith.

"I don't have the time or patience to deal with you or your buddy, Smith. Leave me alone or we throw down."

Smith had three other Hufflepuffs with him besides Hopkins. He didn't know two of them, but Megan Jones was glaring daggers at him.

"There's 5 of us!" she growled. "Justin, Jeffery and Alfred all died during the Battle... for you! And how do you repay them!?!"

"In case you wankers forgot, I DIED, too."

"Malfoy's a Death Eater!" Wayne growled, ignoring him.

"He was not. He fought for our side. I don't care what you think. You don't have any idea about what happened."

"We know he was convicted and you got the verdict overturned."

"I helped because he wasn't guilty and the Wizengamot believed him innocent, too. It wasn't just me."

"Bullshit!"

"Kill the Death Eaters!"

"Collaborator!"

"Oh, shove it! All of you! Get on the train before I start putting foot to ass!" a loud voice announced.

Harry turned to see the unquestioning leader of Hufflepuff House, Ernie MacMillan. Susan and Hannah were behind him. Ernie nodded to him before staring down Smith, who conceded and the crowd cleared.

"Thanks Ernie," Harry muttered.

"No problem. I try get Smith to shut his face. I'm sorry."

"It's not on you. He's always been an asshole."

"True."

Harry grimaced when he thought how Draco predicted this exact encounter, and how much worse it would have been had Draco been with him. Bloody fucking hell.

Ernie seemed to notice his annoyance and said, "Just give them a sec... I mean we lost three of our house... two from my dorm room."

"I know Ernie. But Malfoy didn't kill anyone."

Susan frowned and asked, "And you know that for certain?"

Harry looked at her and nodded, "I'm sure."

The three Hufflepuffs did not look entirely convinced. Hannah and Susan looked at each other before walking away. Ernie remained.

"They were close with Justin, too."

"I considered him my friend, too."

Ernie nodded. "I'll try to keep the... negativity down... but they're still sore about Cedric, even. Our house has suffered a lot for... the cause. Malfoy is marked, it's well-known. It's hard to fight that."

"He didn't want to, Ernie."

"I believe you, Harry. I'll always believe you. I'll never let anyone insult you or dishonor what you've done."

"Thank you. That means a lot. I imagine it's only going to get worse, though. You don't have to alienate your friends though. I can take care of myself," Harry said, genuinely touched by the Hufflepuff's words.

"I know you can. But I'll still help where I can. See you around, Harry."

Harry bid him farewell and moved toward the train. More students gave a double-take when they saw him. Some said hello and others glared and growled under their breath. The Patil sisters gave him the stare down. Lavender Brown and Jacqueline O'Clare had been roommates with Parvati and Padma lost Mandy Brocklehurst and Morag MacDougal from her dorm room. Harry frowned realizing that righteous anger was going to prevail for a long time. Harry gave them a curt nod, before jumping on the train.

He found an empty compartment and quickly warded it, wanting nothing more than to be alone, except he didn't. He searched out the window for the people he wanted see, namely Draco. He probably wouldn't have minded Hermione... maybe Ron (he wasn't exactly willing to let his anger go), Luna or Neville. A quick check of his watch told him it was 1015 and restrained himself from not going to look for Draco. Not yet anyway. Harry wasn't going to leave the station until he knew the Slytherin had made it okay.

Ginny and Luna were the first ones he saw. Behind them came Ron, Hermione, Mrs. Weasley and even George. He looked a little worse for wear. Harry knew he'd moved back in with his mother, not quite adjusting to his brother's death. His mother was searching the crowd, most likely looking for him. But he was not going to make an appearance right in front of all of them. He didn't know if they even wanted to see him.

Mrs. Weasley hugged the four of them and they gave non-reciprocated hugs to the chest-fallen twin. They boarded the train, further down. Mrs. Weasley then fussed over her bereaved son. He didn't reject her coddling. He recognized that she needed reassurance, too. Harry's eyes watered just thinking of the moment when they lost Fred forever. He couldn't help but blame himself. He was standing right there. It should have been him. That's who Goyle was aiming for, no doubt. Draco had at least told him what happened, though it did not make him feel any less guilty.

Speaking of Draco, Harry finally spotted the hoodie he had given him appear through the barrier. He could just see Draco's pointy nose and pale face. He made it, Harry sighed in relief. But the platform was crowded now and Draco could not see where Blaise and Theo were. After some quick scanning, Draco made his way to the train, alone. Harry swallowed nervously. Draco's friends hadn't noticed him and he just walked into the lion's den, defenseless. Harry scrambled to his feet and considered his options. Go to Draco or go to the Slytherins.

He slapped his forehead, realizing a third choice. He cast his Patronus stag to whisk a message to Blaise and Theo. "Draco entered in the middle of train."

The two jumped when the faint image appeared, but quickly reacted to the message and made for the train. Harry hoped they got there in time. He poked his head out of his compartment into the hallway, but couldn't see Draco from his car. He trusted the protective Slytherins to handle any problems and not make matters worse by rushing to Draco's aid on the cramped train.

He sat back down, recasting his wards. He kept his eyes peeled for any sign of hostile activity. But the platform was filled with nothing but families wishing their children and siblings farewell. No one was there for him. He was beginning to think his family had shrunk, again. He had Teddy, Andromeda... and Hermione. He might even consider Mrs. Malfoy part of his family, now.

A knock on his compartment, snapped him from his sulking. He ignored it, but felt the wards being breached. It could only be Hermione. She knew them all. The door slid open and revealed the one person he could always count on and his lackluster best friend, who may or may not hate him.

"Hey Harry, can we come in?" Hermione asked.

Harry shrugged and looked to the floor. He'd rather be alone... or drunk. Both would be preferable. He didn't look at Ron. They both sat across from him and he leaned back, still not willing to make eye contact. He was hurting and exhausted. All he wanted was to be with Draco, now, soothing his no doubt panicked mental state. He couldn't help but believe that he would probably be with Draco if Ron hadn't been such an asshole. Draco was very concerned about his support structure.

Hermione cast the wards back up and nudged Ron with her knee.

"Harry?" he asked hesitantly.

But Harry had to beat down the near over-whelming urge to punch Ron in the face. He looked out the window as the train started to move.

***

Draco barely had arrived on time. He misjudged how long the "Tube" took to get to King's Cross. He asked his mother not to come to the platform, as she did not have anything to wrap her face. She said she understood, but still was sad, giving him long, tear-jerking hug.

"Be safe, my angel. Please take care of yourself."

"I will, mom. I love you," he whispered.

"Oh, sweetie, I love you, too. Make sure you keep Harry out of trouble, too. He needs some support, too."

Draco nodded, unable to lie outright to his mother, again.

"Go before you miss the train!" she said and pushed him through the barrier of platform nine and three-quarters.

Draco stumbled only slightly, but recovered sensing the large crowd on the platform in front of him. He pulled his hoodie tighter. He looked for his friends, but all he saw was the accusing eyes of his classmates. He had to escape before they harried on to the fact that he was there. He slipped onto the train. The sickening thought he had was that Blaise, Daphne and Theo hadn't come for him and he'd be alone.

He swore as he had to look in the cars for them... or Harry. He'd take anyone at this point as the crippling anxiety was sending his heart into a fury. He couldn't stop shaking and choose a direction, going to the back of the train. He tried to do causal glances, but one car figured it out as three fifth year Slytherins came out into the hallway.

"Malfoy!" Malcolm Baddock yelled.

Draco cringed and kept walking, but was stopped when other compartments opened and their occupants came into the hallway. Draco could not get by them. Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and Slytherins were all untied for once in the entire hi온라인카지노게임 of the school. They all hated him. Wands were coming out. Draco flattened himself into the wall, trying to fade from existence.

"Expelliarmus!" Blaise yelled, and at least five wands flew out of their owners hands.

"Clear the hallway, people! Unless you all want to spend the trip to Hogwarts drooling on the floor as a flobberworm!" Theo spat, his wand out.

The mob steadily went back into their cars once their wands were obtained. Malcolm still looked ready to argue.

Blaise turned to him. "I thought I made it clear last year, Baddock, but I guess I wasn't direct enough. You even look at Draco wrong again and you'll regret it, fuckhead."

"That little bitch is going to hide behind you? I'm not going...."

Theo shot a spell right into his back and Blaise hit him with another. Malcolm's friends jumped into the car in fear. Draco caught a whiff of shite as Malcolm clenched his butt.

Theo laughed, cruelly. "Can't hold it in, Mel?"

Malcolm quickly hobbled to the loo, dropping suspiciously brown chunks on the floor.

Blaise vanished them and turned to Malcolm's friends. "Be good snakes and remind your buddy that we're in charge of our house? If any of you loggerheads get it in your minds to fuck with Draco... just remember... we are very... creative."

"He might be out of diapers in a week... or two," Theo chuckled.

"I'm sure he'll figure out my spell, tomorrow sometime."

The Slytherins nodded fearfully in the face of the three eighth-years with notorious reputations staring at them and shut the door without another word. Theo and Blaise turned to Draco and both grabbed his arms and pulled him into their Apparition. Draco landed in a compartment and was immediately hugged by Daphne.

"I'm so glad they found you!" she said, into his ear.

"What part of 'Don't board the train by yourself' did you not understand, Dray?" Blaise chastised.

Draco couldn't respond though. The fear was still gripping him and Daphne hugged him tighter sensing his distress. He trembled uncontrollably. Daphne pulled him downward into a seat, rubbing his back. Theo placed his hand on his shoulder and Blaise sat across from him, watching him concerned. His deteriorating mental state was made abundantly clear to them when he broke down crying. The train was moving and out of London before he could stop.

"Come on, Dray. It's okay. Calm down, we aren't going to let anything happen," Blaise said, his hands gripping Draco's spasming ones. Daphne and Theo were on either side of him, with equal concerned looks.

"Draco... you're with your friends. We all care about you," Daphne said, rubbing his arm.

"I'm sorry..." he whined piteously.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for Draco," Theo said.

"We are here for you," Blaise said, rubbing the tension out of Draco's hands.

"We would do anything for you," Daphne said, playing with his hair. He looked at her with a small smile.

"Thank you..." he said looking at each of them.

"Anytime, Dray. We are going to take care of you," Blaise promised.

"Anyone fucks with you, I'll hex them," Theo added.

"You can't...."

"Stop, Draco! I let you talk us out of hexing people last year, but it isn't going to happen. I don't care about detention, or getting hexed or heckled in return. We are going to protect you and you aren't going to convince us otherwise!" Blaise growled.

"But... they'll target you...."

"They are NOT Voldemort. They aren't going to kill me or target my mom. We are staying at your side."

"What about you Daphne? You're by yourself... right?"

"I can deal with Pansy. The worse they'll do is turn my barrette into a centipede or put a hair removal potion in my shampoo. Easy sorted out with a hair re-growing potion. It's not as brutal as what you guys do to each other," she said, hiding her pain with annoyance. 

"Blaise... Theo... Daphne... it's only going to get worse!" Draco said, fear driving his words, but Theo turned to him with a glare.

"The only people who care if I live or die are in this car. I only have the three of you. Voldemort's supporters killed my parents in front of me," he reminded him.

"My parents won't even look at me," Daphne cried. "I mean I got my sister killed."

"My mom married... again and somehow the guy just passed away from unnatural causes... again. Not exactly the most loving environment. We only have each other, Dray. We're sticking together and defending each other. So get over it. Round of chess?" Blaise offered, pulling out a well-used, shrunk chess set out of his bag.

Draco smiled. An intellectual battle is just what he needed to distract him from the anxiety.

"I predict that Draco will win in 40 moves."

"Nah, 35," Daphne said, ready to watch.

"Hey! I'm not that bad!" Blaise grunted, as his chessman organized themselves on his side of the board.

"Compared to Draco? You don't stand a chance," Daphne said and laced her arm with Draco's.

He gave her a weak smile. They were buttering him up, surely. Blaise wasn't a pushover when it came to chess. Theo and the rest of the Slytherins lost to him all the time. He tried to keep his mind in the game, not let it drift to the darker concerns, to what lies on the other side of their locked and warded door, or worse to the boy who slept huddled up next to him last night. But it was hard.

Thankfully, Blaise did not take it easy on him and put up a decent fight to keep him in the present. Blaise finally flipped his king after 39 moves.

"Losing your touch, Draco?" Daphne said.

"I haven't played in years," Draco said, sadly.

"What's on your neck?" Blaise asked, making the others look.

"Just a bruise. The perils of living in a muggle flat," Draco said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"You were living as a muggle?" Daphne asked, surprised.

"Daph, the Ministry took everything," Theo grunted.

"Oh, yeah, sorry!"

"It's alright... it wasn't that bad. I got to meet my aunt."

"Andromeda Black?" Blaise asked. Trust him to have the pureblood families memorized.

"Yeah. She has a grandson, too. My mom and I went to her house and they made up. She accepted me."

"That's great, Draco!" Daphne said, patting his arm.

"Yeah... it is. I didn't think... with everything... that she would. My mom was so happy."

"I bet. I'm really happy for you, Dray," Blaise said, smiling.

"Thanks... I..." he started, but there was a loud pounding on the floor. Draco's blood chilled. The urgent and demanding knocks were not friendly.

***

"Harry?" Ron said, a little louder.

Harry assumed that Hermione was trying to get Ron to apologize. He wasn't going to make this easy, even for her sake. Harry was in enough pain without being forced to come to terms with the person who caused some of it.

"Are you going to answer me?" Ron growled.

"Why should I?"

"This is pointless. He's mad. I'm mad. Let's...."

"Don't you move a muscle! Harry... what's wrong? I know something is wrong," Hermione said, her brown eyes staring at him.

"It's nothing," he mumbled.

"It is. You're not the best at hiding your emotions, Harry."

"It... doesn't... I don't want to talk about it."

"I think we should. We need to clear the air. I want us to be friends, again. I want you two to look each other in the eye!"

Harry stared out the window and the agrarian scenery, deliberately keeping his eyes from Ron.

"I'm sorry for being an asshole," Ron chanted, most likely following Hermione's instructions.

"I'm sorry that you were being an asshole," Harry huffed.

Ron held his tongue, but Harry could feel the hostility rolling off him. He didn't care. He wasn't going to bend over and take one just because Ron decided to apologize. Did I really just think that? Harry thought to himself. He could hardly blame Draco for being unable to accept who he is, he was just as bad. He shivered at the thought of making that reveal to his two best friends. Ron would never speak to him, again. Hermione would be stuck in the middle. Soooo....he'll just have to shut the fuck up about it and pretend he's normal.

Merlin, why are people such dicks? Why can't I just be honest about my feelings? Why can't I let people know who I want to be with? Harry thought, sadly and extremely angry at the same time. He was so frustrated he just wanted to punch out the window.

He watched the open fields pass for a long time, before he heard Ron clear his throat. Harry had forgotten they were there.

"What?"

"You've been staring out the window for like 20 minutes," Ron stated.

"So? What's there to talk about? You've made it clear that you don't give a damn about me!" Harry growled.

Ron went to snap back, but Hermione grabbed his arm. "No... Harry, we do care. He cares. He didn't understand your choices."

"He understood just fine. They haven't changed," Harry spat venomously.

"Why aren't you with him, then?" Ron asked.

"Because Ron... he didn't want us to fight anymore so he told me to stay away from him. So you got your wish."

"He told you to stay away?" Ron repeated.

"That's what I said."

"He's probably using that muggle reverse psychology stuff."

"Yes, that must be it, idiot," he growled

"Don't call me an idiot!"

"Boys!" Hermione said, trying to placate their rage. She was fighting a losing battle. "Harry... are you okay?"

"Fine." Harry looked out the window, thoroughly wishing to be alone again... and drunk. Holy Dumbledore, how the fuck was he going to get through the whole school year?

"Harry... you're not. What's wrong?"

"I'm not interested in talking about it," he said, flatly. There was nothing they could discuss.

Hermione reached over and took his hand. He didn't like it, especially when she looked into his eyes. He was so close to losing it. He tightened up and gave her a pleading look to stop. She grimaced and let go.

"So what classes did you take?" she said, taking a neutral road.

"I hadn't decided," he said, stiffly. He had no desire to participate in forced conversations.

"Why not? There's a lot of interesting options!"

"I didn't feel like choosing."

"There's Magical Law and Politics..." she said, trying to force him into conversation.

"I was going to take that one."

"That's good! What else were you leaning toward?"

Harry frowned, but decided to answer. "Wandlore... sounds good. I haven't decided on the last one."

"I thought about that one, and I can see how it appeals to you. Ron, what are you taking?"

"You know what I'm... ow!" Ron yelped as Hermione kicked him. "Magical Engineering, First Aid and Muggle Relations."

Harry immediately wanted no part of those classes. Were they ever going to be friends, again? He felt so hurt and betrayed after seven years of being together, he couldn't just let it go. He just nodded to let him know he understood.

Hermione sighed as her attempts to force them to communicate were failing miserably. "Harry where's your owl?"

"I let Andromeda keep her... in case something happens," he lied smoothly.

"Oh, how is Teddy?"

Harry's frown turned into a reluctant smile. "Still a rascal. He's amazing. We go flying whenever I'm over there. Aunt Andy wouldn't let me stay home. She said I had to come back."

"Of course you do! You need to finish school!"

"Relax Hermione. I'm here, aren't I?"

"Well... does he understand that you're going to be gone?"

"I think so. I want to ask McGonagall for permission to visit on Sundays. Or every other Sunday."

"I'm sure she will say yes."

"I think so, too."

"Could we come once?" she asked.

Harry grimaced. "I don't know. I can ask."

"I'd love to see Teddy, again," she said. The last time was at the funeral.

Harry nodded and refrained from looking at Ron. He didn't want to ruffle his feathers by stating that he wasn't going to let Ron anywhere near his godson at the moment.

"Any thoughts on how they are going to accommodate other year of students?" Harry wondered.

"Half-year. A lot of our classmates were killed," Ron added, staring at Harry.

It's on, Harry thought. "Which Malfoy had nothing to do with."

"That's what he claims... no one really knows if he was telling the truth."

"I know, Ron," Harry spat.

"I just can't accept it. He's done so much f'ed up shit, how could you even think to believe him?"

"I look into his eyes, Ron. I've heard his screams and I've heard him beg... and not to me. I'm not changing my mind on this, so if you are looking for a retraction or some admission that you were right, you might as well clear out."

Ron twitched like he wanted to, but gave a glance to Hermione. "I'm not looking for anything... could we just not talk about it? I'm not saying that you have to change your mind... I don't want to hear about it and I won't ask about it."

"What 'don't ask, don't tell'?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, cause that is going to work out so well! Stupid bullshit. We are going to talk about it. It's going to come up. What the hell are you going to do when it does?"

"I'll hold my tongue and not comment," Ron said flatly.

"What?" Harry said. Was Ron serious about wanting to be at his side enough to agree to that?

"I said that I won't bang on Malfoy, if that's what you want."

"Why?" Harry asked suspiciously. "You don't need me."

"We are friends, Harry. I'm sorry I reacted badly. It was a little shocking. Hermione's convinced me that what you did was the right thing."

"That's not what it sounded like not two minutes ago."

"But you thought he wasn't guilty before all that stuff came out! I'm sorry that your sudden change of heart confused me. I mean the last time I checked, we both hated the Ferret. He was our enemy."

"He's a victim of war."

"Can we not argue?"

"Who's arguing? What are you going to do, if I talk to him? Or help him? There's no point mending fences, if you're just going to get your panties in a bunch next week and tell me to go fuck myself."

"I won't."

"If I hex someone giving him a hard time?"

"I'll hex anyone who points a wand at you. Just don't make me talk about what he's done and if I forgive him, cause I don't."

"I don't know, Ron."

"Can you give it a try, Harry?" Hermione pleaded.

Harry looked at her and his eyes narrowed. "Hermione... can you step outside for a second?"

She bit her lip and nodded, slipping out the door. Harry checked that the wards were back up, before he said, "She's gone, you really mean all that, or are you just saying it for her benefit?"

Ron glared. "I meant it. I'm not saying that I didn't agree to this for her. But I miss you, too. I don't want to lose this friendship. I am sorry for being a dick to you all summer. Hermione said that you were having a difficult time."

"You think? I had no one, Ron."

Ron grimaced. "I'm sorry... you do understand how it felt to me, right? My brother just died and you decided to help a Death Eater that had long declared for Voldemort."

"I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to alienate everyone. I just knew, Ron. I knew he didn't want to hurt anyone. He didn't want to be a Death Eater. I'm sorry if it felt like I was betraying Fred, but I couldn't let him die."

"A lot of shit came up at the appeal, Harry. I... believe... he didn't deserve to go to Azkaban, but what about everything he did... to me? You're still going to be friends with him?"

"It's not a choice, Ron. I know so much about him now, I can't just ignore it. He didn't even come close to telling everything that happened to him at the hearing. That's just what he could get out without snapping. So, yes, we're still friends."

"Alright!" Ron said, holding up his arms. "I don't want to hear about it. I'll just ignore you helping him... just don't talk to me about him."

Harry sighed, looking out the window. Ron got up to let Hermione back in, but Harry said, "If you hurt her again, I'll break every bone on your body. I'm surprised she didn't start drinking after what we put her through this summer."

Ron nodded. "I tried not to hurt her...."

Harry snorted, but didn't comment. Hermione came in and sat down. "Did you work it out?" she asked nervously.

"Somewhat. The impasse has been reached. We are going with the very healthy don't-talk-about-it method."

Hermione gave them both a look, which Ron shrugged.

"Guys... you think that's really going to work?"

"No," they both answered and Hermione dropped her face in her hands rubbing her eyes.

"Exploding snap?" Ron offered, with a weak smile. "It is a train-ride tradition."

"Sure, but don't you two have to go to the prefect's car?"

"The hell if I know," Ron said, earning a smack from Hermione.

"We don't know what's happening with that. Since we are eighth years... it's confusing to say the least."

Ron pulled out the cards and they played in strained silence, feeling out the new arrangement of the impasse. Ron didn't mention the Slytherin, or the war, once. Harry was too much in pain to really want to talk about it. He felt some wisps of happiness being with Ron and Hermione again, but it was nothing like he felt this morning, clutching Draco closer to him.

It wasn't an hour later that there was pounding on their door. "Come on out! We know you are in there!"

Harry pulled out his wand, looking none too happy. He had a feeling that they were looking for someone else. He removed the wards and ripped the door open. A small horde had gathered in the hallway. Harry saw that there were members of Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff in it.

"Potter!"

"Hi, Harry!" Romilda Vane said, excitedly.

"It's just Harry," another said, looking to carry on down the train.

"What exactly do you all think you are doing?" Harry spat angrily. The mob turned to stare at him, with some fear. "Get the hell back to your cars, now!"

The younger students fled immediately, leaving only Harry's classmates and a couple sixth and seventh years, including Michael Corner, Zacharias Smith, Fay Dunbar, Wayne Hopkins, Romilda Vane and about five others, who held their ground.

"Potter... where's Malfoy?" Michael Corner asked, stoically.

"How the hell should I know? But this get-together is over. Go back to your compartments."

"You don't order me around, Potter," Smith said.

"Really? Who wants to go a round?" Harry threatened.

"Maybe we should go, he's mad," Romilda Vane whispered to Hopkins.

"No! We want Malfoy! Lavender is dead, Harry! She was my friend. She deserves justice!" Fay Dunbar, an eighth year Gryffindor growled.

"She got it. Fenrir Greyback is dead. That's who killed her. Malfoy didn't have any part in her death. But I'm not arguing this with you. This isn't the time or the place."

"Let's go, he won't do anything," Smith challenged and the others moved down the hall knocking on doors.

Harry's temper spiked, he pointed at his own throat. "Sonorus!" He opened his mouth and yelled, his voice increasing by hundreds. "EVERYONE GET BACK TO YOUR CARS NOW! Anyone not in their cars in the next two minutes is getting Stunned!"

Harry lifted the spell in time for mob to turn toward him. Smith raised his wand and Harry Stunned him first. Michael Corner and Wayne Hopkins moved forward next and Harry dropped them without a second thought. Behind him, he heard Ron Stun one of the younger runners from before. Romilda came at him with her arms out, trying to either hug or kiss him, but Incarcarous ropes wrapped around her and she fell to the floor struggling. Fay almost lunged at him but restrained herself.

"Anyone else? I mean Voldemort was a walk in the park, compared with dealing with you lot," Harry sneered.

The others grabbed their unconscious and bound companions and scooted past Harry, glaring. Harry made sure the halls were clear, before returning to his compartment.

"Wankers," Harry said.

"Just like old times..." Ron chuckled.

Harry looked at him. Their eyes connected. Ron had backed him up, though in all likelihood he'd be with them. Harry nodded to thank him for supporting him, at the very least.

"That was intense... you think that was the worst? They can't act like that at Hogwarts... can they?" Hermione asked.

"I'm sure they will," Harry said, now acknowledging Draco's legitimate concerns. It would have been a full out brawl if Draco had been with him.

"McGonagall will put them in their place."

"Oh yeah? Dumbledore couldn't stop them from being assholes when he was here, McGonagall can only do so much."

Hermione gave him concerned look. "No... it'll quiet down. It has to."

Harry leaned back in his seat, but then felt the chill down his back. He jumped up staring out the window into the sudden darkness. Frost etched across the windows and happiness was leeched from him. The screams came next... from him, from the battle, from the darkest parts of his memories. He fought to remain conscious.

"What Harry?" Hermione said, frowning like something was happening to her, too.

"Dementor," he whispered and thought, Draco.

Sorry for the wait! It's over 7000 words, so a long chapter. I maybe waited until after midnight to post it! Should be able to post on Monday, latest Tuesday.

Just to be ironic, I just made Christmas cookies and carved a pumpkin. Happy Hallows Eve, everyone!