Draco Malfoy, Broken

17- Revelations

Narcissa Malfoy watched the two teenagers walk side by side, just ahead of her. Occasionally, they would speak, laughing and smiling at each other's comments. Draco tended to glare more, but usually it turned into a smile eventually. She was almost sad she had insisted coming on their outing, after seeing how close the two were becoming. But on the other hand, it warmed her heart so very much to watch them.

She, of course, knew all about Draco's sexual preferences. Even before her sister had told her, which she had slapped that crazy bitch right on the spot. She didn't care a nut about what Draco wanted and loved. She was slightly surprised about Harry though. She had only suspected until today. Harry had very tenderly been taking care of Draco. Easing him out of his dreams and bringing him back from the dead. The last few days were something else.

Draco may not understand muggle courtship, but Harry, being raised by muggles, would. Taking Draco on walks, cooking dinner, teaching him to cook, buying him clothes, treating him to the expensive salon and, of course, a movie in a dark theatre, were all considered dates by muggle terms. Narcissa had gotten the whole rundown watching her sister. She was amazed that Draco hadn't caught onto Harry's near blatant advances. Of course, it was possible that Harry didn't know that he was being so forward. He might not even know that he was gay or inclined that way, especially if he had never been with a boy before.

In theatre, she was almost sure they would kiss. Harry held Draco's hand the whole time, but they didn't. Perhaps because she was there. Harry had looked at her strangely too when she had come out of the theatre. Draco had seemed confused.

But Harry had just said, "The Tube is this way," and started walking, smiling widely.

Narcissa followed them, keeping a distance enough for them to talk without her overhearing. When a muggle car backfired, Harry grabbed Draco's arm protectively until he saw it was an old truck driving by. Draco was still shaking when it passed. She watched Harry take his hand again, no doubt explaining that it was just the truck. Draco nodded and eventually put on a smile. Harry waited until they were at the Tube entrance before he let go.

Draco navigated the ticket machines and led them onto the right train back towards home without Harry's direction. He learned quickly.

"Expert at muggle traveling already?" Harry whispered to him.

Draco gave him a smirk and they couldn't find any open seats, the Tube was crowded with people heading home.

"Mom, there's a seat here," he said, directing her over.

She smiled at his generosity and took it. Harry and her son stood next to her. "Thank you sweetie."

"Of course, mom," he said and his grey eyes, so much like his fathers, stared into hers.

But Draco was nothing like Lucius. She thanked Merlin, Hecate and Morgana for that. She had been forced to marry that young, cruel Malfoy heir after her sister ran off chasing her muggle boyfriend. And Bellatrix... well... she wasn't normal, even as a child. Her parents had paid a large dowry to make her own marriage happen. Lucius had immediately started schooling her on proper wizarding etiquette. She had ran home once, but her parents actually summoned Lucius to take her back.

She didn't even know how many miscarriages she had due to his maltreatment, but when he was hunting muggles with Voldemort, he was distracted enough that she was able to come to term. She even convinced her husband to let her pick his first name. Draco. She was his. She tried to protect him, shower him with affection that he would not get from his father.

Narcissa should have done more... but her husband had all the power, money and friends to find them and hurt her and Draco. She was trapped in that house for over two decades and she was ever so glad that the Ministry took it, even if it stripped Draco of his inheritance. She couldn't imagine him wanting to go back there, though.

Draco and Harry had stopped talking, eyeing the large amount of muggles around them. Both had been made cautious during the war. Draco put his hand on her shoulder. She smiled at him. Lucius would have never shown such affection.

"This is our stop?" Draco asked Harry.

"Yep. Ready to make our move?" Harry looked down at her.

"Yes," she said, accepting Draco's hand to stand up. "Thank you."

Harry pushed his way through the crowd as the train stopped and he held Draco's hand, pulling him along. Draco still had her hand. Harry took them right up to the street and she saw that the sun was near setting.

"Well it's a little late to start dinner... there's an Italian place just up the road. That sound good?"

Draco shrugged, but Narcissa caught Harry's eyes. She smiled. "Actually, I'm not up for walking. I'm tired, I think I'll just head back to the flat."

"Mom, are you okay?" Draco asked concerned.

"Yes, I'm just not used to walking so much," she lied. She walked more to work every day, but she wanted nothing more than the two boys to be alone.

"Let me hail you a cab, then?" Harry offered.

She nodded. She should enough cash for the ride. She doubted Draco would let her walk back alone. He looked displeased at the idea of her going off alone.

"I'll be fine, sweetie. I've been traveling by myself for three months, now. It's perfectly safe. You can just bring me back some leftovers. I'm going to go home and soak in the tub. I promise I'll be fine."

Draco nodded, disgruntled. Harry managed to whistle a cab and opened the door for her. He gave the driver the address and 20 pounds.

"That should more than cover it," Harry said.

"You didn't have to do that, Harry," she chided.

"Of course I did. We'll be home soon with your dinner. Any preferences?"

"Anything is fine. I daresay Draco can pick out something reasonable."

"Mom..." he said, almost whining.

"Have fun dears," she said, shutting the door.

The cab took off, she looked out the back window. Draco waved before Harry took his hand and they started walking toward the restaurant.

"Your sons?" the elderly muggle driver asked.

"Hopefully," she said. "If there's any sense of happiness in world."

The cab driver looked up at her strangely and didn't talk again until he reached her address. He was about to ask if she wanted any of it back, but she told him to keep the change. At least that was the impression she had gotten from Harry.

She made her way up to her apartment, unshrunk their bags from her purse and separated them into piles, taking hers to her room. Then she grabbed her bathrobe and thought a soak would actually do her good. She sunk down into the hot water and relaxed instantly. She spent 15 minutes unwinding, trying not to dwell on Harry and Draco. She knew she was being overly optimistic. They had a lot of murky past to get through. Her son was barely recovering and Harry... he was hurting and lonely.

She wondered if he would come over tomorrow, but then sat up. Tomorrow was Sunday. He said he went to see his godson, Teddy, on Sundays. Andy... she thought. She got out of the tub, letting the water drain and quickly dried off. She ran to her room and pulled out regular muggle paper. She wrote and wrote. She told her everything that had happened when Andy left, how she was sold off, how Lucius treated her and imprisoned her and trapped her in his house. She left nothing out of the early years and went on and told her about her son and everything that Lucius had done to him. She was still writing when she heard a Crack! in the kitchen.

"Mom?" Draco said.

"In here, angel," she said.

She could hear him grumbling over his nickname and Harry laughing about it. Well, they weren't arguing or upset, so she assumed it went alright. She finished her last line on her letter and signed it. She took out her finicky wand and managed to seal it.

"How was it?" she said, walking into the living area.

"It was good. Very nice restaurant. Potter had to glamour us to be within the dress code. We ordered you lamb shoulder and risotto," Draco said, smiling.

"Thank you. It smells wonderful. Not willing to try saying it in Italian, huh?" she asked, taking the bag from Draco and accepting the flatware Harry handed her.

"Umm... no," Draco shifted uncomfortably.

She looked at him, realizing her mistake. Lucius beat him one time he slaughtered the pronunciation at a business dinner. She had to start being more careful. Her son hadn't been as sensitive before to minor comments, or perhaps he had been better at pretending.

"What did you eat, dear?" she said, trying to draw his attention back to her.

But he was stuck. Harry walked over to him and whispered in his ear. He snapped out of it and then his eyes, went from distraught to controlled in a second.

"We had steak. I had the ribeye and Malfoy had a filet. It was excellent, but he seemed to think you preferred lamb more," Harry said for him.

"I do. Thank you," she said, taking a bite. "Delicious."

"I'm glad you like it, mom," her son said, cautiously, not quite recovered from his episode. His head was bowed, cowed by years of abuse.

"Hey, let's put your stuff away," Harry suggested and her son nodded, picking his head up.

She just saw Harry pull Draco into a hug when the door to his room closed. If she was an ordinary mother, she might be concerned about her son and his possible love interest being in a closed room, but she wasn't ordinary. Her son needed someone. Harry was perfect.

She had finished eating and put the container in the trash. She started on the dishes that had accumulated since yesterday morning. She heard the door opening and they came out, Draco looking better.

"Oh, let me mom, I forgot to do them last night," he said, standing next to her.

She dried her hands and cupped his face. "I'm sorry, honey. I love you. You know that right?"

Draco went a little red. "I know and I love you, too. You don't have to apologize."

She hugged him and then out of the corner of her eye, saw Harry avert his eyes. Shit. She kept forgetting that she was around traumatized kids. It was like navigating a minefield. She half-expected Harry to Apparate away, but she had a feeling he was too polite to leave without saying goodbye. She let go of Draco and walked over to her savior, not just the rest of the world. The Savior, however, cringed as she approached, unable to restrain himself. She touched his shoulder first. He was trembling. She grimaced when she felt he was as thin as her son.

"I'm sorry," he said, again, and she pulled him into a hug.

"Shush, it's okay," she said, rubbing his back. "I had a wonderful day. It was amazing. I don't remember the last time I was so happy. Thank you so much, Harry."

"Itsnotaproblem," he mumbled out, though tears. He cleared his throat. "I'm glad you had a good time."

She pulled apart and wrapped her hands around the back of his neck. "Thank you."

He nodded. "I won't be able to come tomorrow."

"You're going to visit with my sister and your godson?"

"Yes. I go over for brunch and dinner. We spend the day playing with Teddy."

"Will you... take a letter to Andy?"

"Of course."

She went to her room and grabbed the letter off the desk. "Here. Please give it to her when you leave... I don't want her to read it while you are there."

Harry's bright green eyes looked at her and bit his lip. "I will. I'll talk to her... I'll convince her."

"You don't have to do that."

"We are going to work this out," he vowed, pocketing it.

She nodded. "Thank you, again." Draco started washing the dishes, though she could see he was listening to every word.

"It's my pleasure. I'll see you on Monday then?"

"Yes, Harry. I have to work until the first."

"I'll be here." Harry looked at Draco's back, but declined a personalized farewell. "Take care. If you need anything, just Floo over, okay? Don't worry about asking to come over. It's only me."

"Okay, thanks," she said, glad for the invitation. But she could see Harry didn't like not checking in on Draco for the whole day.

Harry gave her another hug, before Apparating away. Draco winced at the audible Crack! but continued scrubbing the dishes intensely. She put her hand on his shoulder. She could feel his muscles tense, but he slowly relaxed.

"Are you really okay, sweetie?"

Draco did not answer, just kept scrubbing. She frowned. Tomorrow was going to be rough. Heck, tonight was going to be rough.

"I'm going to sit on the couch and read, okay?"

Draco nodded silently. He seemed to be devoting his attention solely on the dishes. She picked up a muggle self-help book she got and read for an hour, glancing occasionally at her son, who was taking an exceptionally long time doing the dishes. Eventually, he let the water drain and washed the sink down. He stared at the running water for several minutes, without twitching.

"Draco?" she called.

He finally moved and turned off the water. He dried off the counter and came to sit next to her. Draco didn't look at her. She put her book down and looked at him.

"I'm sorry, mom," he whispered, tears rolling down his eyes.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. You're my angel. You're always be my precious little boy. I'm the one that should be sorry. I was supposed to protect you. It was the only job I have to do and I didn't...."

"It's not your fault."

"I'm your mother...."

He would not look at her. She wrapped her arms around him as he starting sobbing, again. These emotional breakdowns were becoming a nightly ritual. She almost was dreading the first. Though she felt he might do better without her around, he was going to be trapped in the school with only Harry.

She let him cry it out, waiting until he was calmer. "Did you have fun today, honey?"

Draco nodded. She patted his hair, now returned to the soft, clean state she hadn't seen in a long time.

"Harry was very nice to do all that for... us," she said, though she thought it was more for Draco.

"Yes."

"Was the movie too scary for you?"

Draco finally looked at her almost in childish annoyance. "No. It was... interesting."

"And dinner?" she asked, hoping the sudden question would give her more insight as to what was happening between the two.

"It was good. The food was excellent," he said, quietly.

Maybe her son was oblivious... perhaps he needed a nudge. "Harry spent a lot of money on us today."

Draco's eyes furrowed in confusion. He was coming out of his stupor. "He has that card."

"Draco... that isn't magic. It's a simplified way of spending muggle cash. He has to pay all for everything... eventually. It was not free."

He straightened up to look at her, the truth of words sinking in. "Why did he say...."

"He probably just wanted to buy you things without you kicking up a fuss."

Draco considered that. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I wanted you to be happy. Need I remind you how the first couple days went when you came back? Harry brought you back to me."

"But he spent..." Draco paused horrified, quickly doing the math in his head. Arithmancy was one of his favorite subjects.

"I imagine quite a lot. All without hesitation. We aren't exactly well-off anymore, honey. I'm not going to lie to you. I can barely support myself, much less have brought any of the things Harry has brought for us. I managed to pull enough together to pay for Hogwarts and buy some of your school supplies. It's not going to be easy, by any means. So no, I wasn't going to turn down some help. I can't afford, too. I told you now, so you can fully appreciate what he's been doing."

"I owe him so much already, mom," Draco said, dropping his head into his hands.

"Yes, we do."

She run her fingers through his beautiful blonde hair. Lighter than hers, slightly darker than Lucius's platinum blond. He did not shorten it much today, letting it go out past his shoulders.

"He... I don't understand why he keeps helping me, mom."

"Draco... he's hurting, in pain. Making you happy, makes him happy. I can't imagine what state he is in when he leaves here."

Her son's grey eyes looked at her. "I'm being slightly self-absorbed, aren't I?"

"Not that much," she smiled. "Harry's not one to open up easily. He's not going to outright say how bad it is. He prefers to suffer in silence."

Draco hung his head. She wanted to hug him until his worries vanished and he was whole again. But he stood up.

"I'm going to bed."

Her son, the only thing that mattered to her, drifted listlessly to his bed, confused and broken. His night was going to be difficult. She hadn't immediately realized that Harry had put up Silencing Charms. It was a little shocking when she opened his door and discovered he'd been screaming. If she had the money for extra potion supplies, she might consider trying to brew a sleep potion for him. But she resigned herself to watching him shut the door, shutting her out, shutting the world out.

Will the nightmare ever end? she wondered.

***

Draco couldn't sleep. He didn't know what to think about: his bitter, painful memories or the rather confusing and embarrassing day he had with Potter. It was a hard toss-up. He didn't know what it meant or how to feel about it. Potter wasn't exactly one to speak his feelings on the matter. Draco was stuck keeping his mouth shut. Potter was in complete control of the situation. He had all the power. Draco couldn't help but feel defenseless. One word and he could probably be back in Azkaban.

He honestly did not think Potter would ever condemn him back to that hell, even if the dementors weren't there. He knew Potter well enough to believe that. But it was more the issue that Potter would stop... visiting. Draco shuttered at the thought. He had no place to force his presence upon the Chosen One. He'd be honor-bound to respect whatever decision Potter made. The uneasiness chaffed him. He was so vulnerable... and weak. His stomach churned at the mere thought of Potter ignoring him. His mind rebelled at the idea. So fixed and desperate to cling to some kind of familiarity and comfort. He needed him like he was a drug... a lifeline.

He threw his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. He wiped his eyes, frustrated and filled with angst. Dependent on Potter. That's what he was. He had vague memories of having pride, power and respect. But he had nothing. His family was broken, jerk father dead, mother in exile. He had no means: his wealth, privilege and superiority stripped from him. He was a burden to his mother, who couldn't afford much of anything, and apparently, leeching off Potter too, who didn't even trouble himself with telling Draco that he was.

Pride? He had none. He couldn't look the lowest first year in the eye and claim anything on him. Criminal, Death Eater, traitor... rape victim. He was barely a man anymore, barely a wizard. He flinched every time he saw a wand, every time someone touched him. He almost wished he had his mother's option of exile into the muggle world. No magic, no spells that would render him impotent and helpless. But no, he was forced to go to school under his probation agreement.

He let out a hollow laugh at the idea that he would get Exceeds Expectations in all his NEWT exams. He barely even opened a textbook in the last 2 years. He was too busy trying not to die or get tortured. The grades the court must have looked at must have been from his OWLS in his fifth year. He didn't complete his sixth or seventh years and he didn't even try.

He hugged himself as he realized that he was not going meet the conditions of his probation. He was going to be sent back... in eight months from now. Eight months of nerve-racking waiting... eight months of reprieve before he gets thrown to the dementors to get ripped apart, again. Suddenly, the walls were too thick, too close. He got up, not caring what he wore and walked out of the flat, out onto the streets.

The air was dewy, thick with moisture from a recent sprinkling. There were no cars on the thoroughfare. None for several miles. Draco walked the path to the park Potter had taken him to. Draco hoped the smell of nature and flowers would give him some clarity. He found a bench not too far in the park, where he sat, trying bury his feelings under his mask. He was Draco Malfoy, Prince of Slytherin. He snorted. Once, maybe. He relinquished that title long ago. He sat there for near an hour, calming down.

He tense when he heard footfalls. He glanced up at a muggle policeman. He realized that he was in his pajamas. Nice pajamas, but still.

"Whatcha up to laddie?"

Draco made his mouth move. "I had a bad dream."

"Aren't you a little old to be having nightmares?"

"I guess not," he said, quietly.

"Well, there's a good lad. Back to your bed. The park closes at dusk."

"Yes, sir," he said and stood up.

"You live around here?"

"My mother lives in a flat a couple blocks down."

"Well, your mum is probably worried you."

"Yes. Thank you, sir."

Draco walked back to the flat a little slower than when he left. He wasn't at all ready for sleep, not having made any strides in resolving his discomfort. A fog had settled down over the deserted street. Draco felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as a chill went down his spine. The temperature lowered and Draco's insides froze. He could hear whispers of his blackest memories. He realized that he was more tired than he thought. He could not slip into a flashback when he was outside, alone on a muggle street. 

He ran back to the apartment, the effort nearly dropping him in exhaustion. He was out of shape. He leaned up against the apartment building, wheezing. The coolness was gone and his mind could only focus on the stitch in his gut.

A muggle walked by him, giving him a dark look and skirting away from him. He gathered his wits and forced himself to walk up the steps. His legs were cramping by the time he reached his mother's floor. He cringed when he thought of the endless staircases at Hogwarts. Luckily, Slytherin House was in the dungeon and most of his classes were on the first few floors.

He opened the front door and luckily he hadn't woken his mother. Potter's charms must have kept her ignorant of his sudden flight. He went to his trunk, to pull out some fresh pajamas and realized that they were shrunk. He sighed and focused, drawing on his core and imagining in to its proper size. His clothes simmered and grew larger. Draco slumped from the effort. He was out of practice. He pulled off his sweat-soaked clothes, changed and climbed into bed.

His muscles were stiff and sore. His mind was weak from the spell and the cold, darkness that had nearly taken him on Dartford. But he couldn't sleep. He was so alone.

Little shorter than usual, but it was another POV change.