HP 6 - A different Half-Blood...

Resolutions

They class left with exuberance. For the next few weeks, it was the only thing people were talking about. McGonagall lifted the whole school's spirit by just announcing the ball. People were asking other people out. There were rumors about who was going with who, and what people were wearing for the ball. Harry was not interested in the conversation, as he was not really interested in anyone. Ron was acting very strange though, but he would not say anything. This time, Ron was keeping a secret from him. Hermione did not really seem all there, either, but Harry did not feel like pushing any conversation.

Harry was having trouble sleeping lately, again. Not a night went by that he did not dream about Sirius, and Voldemort came at least every other night. Apparently, he slept with Harry's sleep schedule. Harry woke up almost every morning with his scar hurting. He started sleeping less and less. Sometimes, he would go down by the fire, and slept by it. Crookshanks kept him company. He would pet him and make him purr. He remembered that Crookshanks was ready to die for his godfather in his third year.

Harry became more secluded, mostly because he was tired. He was having problems paying attention in class, again, and Ron and Hermione seemed preoccupied to pay attention to his problems. Harry did not understand what was up with them. He did not have anywhere to turn. He had no one to talk to about it. He was getting more and more depressed. The Ball did little to raise his spirits. He was not going with anyone, besides Ron and Hermione, and they would be going alone, too, if they did not find anyone soon.

Whenever they walked around the castle, Harry decided to stick with Ron or Hermione whenever possible, in case anyone would ask him if he would go with him to the Ball.

Ginny, for some reason, was not going with anybody, at least that he knew. A few nights before, he had heard Hermione ask her if she was going to the ball with anyone. She said no, but after that, she got shifty and left. Everyone was acting strangely around him. He was baffled by their behavior, but shrugged it off. He went to sleep that night and found himself in the Death Chamber again.

Sirius said, "You can do better than that!" Then the red blast hit him in the chest, and he slowly fell through the curtain and disappeared. Harry did not move. He was tired of running to him only to be stopped by Lupin. He knew that he was dreaming. It was not worth the effort to try anymore. He suddenly felt a white, sharp knife drive into his skull. He grabbed his head, and when it stopped hurting, he looked around. Lord Voldemort was standing in his usually position, right behind him.

"I grow tired of waiting, Potter! Show me what I want to see!" he yelled and another stab of pain hit him.

"No," Harry said, defiantly. "I'll never tell you! I don't have to stay here! I can wake up now if I want, Voldemort!"

"You dare speak my name?" he sneered, staring dangerously at Harry.

"Would you rather I call you Tom?" Harry said, recklessly. He was not going to give Voldemort any satisfaction.

"You..." Voldemort spat at him.

"See you tomorrow night," Harry said, with as much acid in his voice as he could muster, and he woke up to another flash of pain.

Keep trying, I dare you. I'm ready for you, he thought, vengefully. However, he started to regret taunting Voldemort when he was periodically shocked awake by intense jolts of pain from Voldemort's anger over the next hour. He had a feeling that Voldemort was not going to let that insult go by, but he took precautions. He did not leave the tower without Ron or Hermione and did not go outside except for Quidditch and class. However, after he slept three nights in a row without an intrusion, he started to feel uneasy.

What's going to happen? He did not know and he was worried. He knew Voldemort was not one to be trifled with, and it felt like he had played with fire and was just waiting for the burn. Nothing happened in his classes, besides the fact that Snape showed them more creative ways to get information out of someone. Harry started to let his guard down and he felt like he got away with it.

The mood around the school was definitely better. People around him were gossiping and asking about the Ball, while they were eating dinner. Nott, however, felt that Harry had not been targeted enough, and came up to him from behind and leaned over Harry.

"I heard you lost your pet dog," he said whispering malevolently in his ear.

Harry stood up and turned around along with Ron and Hermione. They could not pick a fight under their professors' watch, but Harry did not care. McGonagall, however, did, as she came over.

"What's the problem here?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Nothing, Professor, just talking to Potter here, but we're done," Nott said and strolled off.

Harry turned and sat back down. Neville, Dean and Seamus, who were sitting across the table from him, had stood up also with their wands out: ready to rise to the occasion, if needed. Ron and Hermione were trying to calm him down.

"Harry, let it go. He'll get his in the end," Hermione said, glaring over at Nott.

"Why did he come over here just now?" Harry asked, suspiciously glaring over at him.

"Who knows? Let's finish and head back up," said Ron.

Harry ate the rest of his sandwich, slowly. When Ron and Hermione were ready to go up to the common room, he downed the rest of his pumpkin juice in one shot, stood up and headed for the door. Suddenly, he felt tired and he wanted to sleep. He walked through the doors and up the marble staircase. By the time he was to the second floor, he felt he could not go on. He was too tired. He did not remember feeling tired before they started eating.

Ron and Hermione were saying something, but he could not make out what they were saying. He could not stand up anymore. They were trying to say something to him. He tried to talk, but he could not.... He was going down and down....

"Hello, Harry," said the all too familiar voice.

Harry was still groggy. He did not understand what was going on, yet. He was dreaming, he thought. Hopefully....

"You see, after our last chat, I felt that a new strategy was needed. You cannot wake up now. I will find what you are hiding," Voldemort said, quite calmly and methodically.

"You'll have to do more than that!" Harry said, his confidence returning, though completely believing Voldemort was telling the truth.

"You know, you can do anything... if you put your mind to it," he said, in a low cruel voice.

Harry flew through the air and it felt so real. They landed in a graveyard. He heard a voice not from the Voldemort standing next to him, but the Voldemort advancing on another Harry.

"Bow to death, Harry.... It might even be painless.... I would not know.... I have never died," Voldemort sneered moving toward him.

The Voldemort beside him was laughing louder and louder. His scar was prickling and starting to get warm from the pain. Voldemort laughed ecstatically, "I can take you anywhere I want!"

"No, you can't!" Harry said desperately, trying to take hold of the situation. "This is my dream and like you said, I can do anything if I put my mind to it. I think fighting off Quirrell would be a nice waste of time!"

He focused and felt a sudden whooshing of air. He was in front of the Mirror of Erised, a magical mirror that shows the onlooker what his heart truly desires. Voldemort was livid watching Quirrell unsuccessfully attack Harry. His scar was about to split his head open from Voldemort's rage.

Voldemort was going to get control, but Harry recovered and focused on the Hungarian Horntail. He flew through the air, again and landed at the base of the Horntail's feet. Voldemort was becoming angrier and more focused.

"I won't let you win!" Harry said, but then he heard voices.

"Harry, we can hear you! Can you hear us?" a voice said. Harry thought it sounded like Ron.

"Ron?" Harry said, but he was thrown through the air, again.

They were in the Department of Mysteries. He looked at Voldemort, who was drawing himself up to find Dumbledore's office.

"What did you do to me?" Harry asked, getting an idea.

"Do to you, Potter?" Voldemort sneered, as the picture around him stopped swirling and Voldemort's smile grew with vindictive delight.

"Why can't I wake up?" Harry asked, desperately.

"Why should I tell you? Do you think after our last chat, that I would sit idly by and do nothing? You forget your place! But I suppose letting you know that you'll be watching this for forever is such a proper ending for you," Voldemort snarled, as Harry watched Sirius fell through veil. "It's a special potion, Potter. Draught of the Dreaming Sleep to make sure you don't wake up ever again."

"Draught of the Dreaming Sleep," Harry repeated. "Draught of the Dreaming Sleep!" he yelled as loud as he could, and he thought he heard Ron repeat it.

"What are you doing Potter!?!" Voldemort screamed, wildly.

"Just telling my friends what's wrong with me," Harry said plainly, and smiled.

Voldemort knew immediately what happened, and Harry doubled over from the pain of Voldemort's anger. They were in Dumbledore's office. The basin was swirling. His eyes widened.

"NO!!!" Harry said.

However, he could not change the memory. His mind was too weak from the pain. Voldemort was focused and in control. There was no way out of it.

"THE ONE WITH THE POWER TO VANQUISH THE DARK LORD APPROACHES...."

"I won't let you win!" Harry said desperately, but knew he did not have enough energy to stop Voldemort.

"You can't do anything! And your pathetic friends won't have enough time to make the antidote!" Voldemort let out a high-pitched laugh as Dumbledore started the second line.

"BORN TO THOSE WHO HAVE THRICE DEFIED HIM, BORN AS THE SEVENTH MONTH DIES.... AND THE DARK LORD WILL...."

Harry had to do something, he had to think of something... then he thought... Sirius.... And he focused on his godfather and his heart filled with emotion.

They were going back to the Department of Mysteries. Harry felt a surge of anger go through his scar, but he did not feel anything. All he thought about was Sirius, as he watched him fall through the veil for one last time and found being there an enjoyable relief. Voldemort was breaking through Harry's control as the pain increased, but the world was starting to swirl.

A bright light was coming into his eyes, and he could feel liquid going down his throat. He was waking up and he slowly looked around, very confused. His vision was all blurry. What? Where am I? Where is Sirius? he thought, not understanding what was happening. Hermione put his glasses on, but he had double vision. His head was still aching, and he was not coherent. He looked to his left and saw Ron hovering over him.

"I heard you... I heard you..." Harry mumbled, completely disoriented. Madam Pomfrey came over.

"This boy is completely exhausted and confused, now OUT!!! He needs rest!" she insisted.

Snape was there, too, but Harry did not care about him, because Ron was starting to leave. Harry was still confused and thought Voldemort was there. He grabbed Ron's arm.

"I d-didn't t-tell h-him..." he slurred, unable to articulate.

Ron looked stunned and just patted on his hand, and mumbled, "It's ok".

He felt another drink being poured down his throat and he thought no more. When he woke up, it was two days later and he was still disoriented. Ron, Ginny and Hermione came to visit. He could barely understand what they were saying, but from what he did understand, after he collapsed, they managed to get him up to the hospital wing and he was talking in his sleep, again.

When Ron heard Harry, Hermione went to Snape, who bought the antidote up to them. Hermione said if he was asleep too much longer, he might never have woken up. Ron figured that Nott must have put the potion in Harry's drink somehow, when he came over to taunt Harry, but they did not have any proof. They did not talk much more, because Madam Pomfrey did not let them stay for long. Moreover, Harry could not stop nodding off, because of the dreamless potion Madam Pomfrey keep giving him.

He could not leave the hospital wing for another week, but one day, he woke up and saw Ginny reading in a chair next to his bed.

"Hey, you finally woke up," she said, closing her book.

"Yeah, what are you doing here?" he said slightly groggy, but more alert than he had been as of late.

"Ron and Hermione are in class and I need to study. It's quieter in here, and... I was worried about you," she said, going slightly red, and retreated behind her book, pretending to read.

"Oh, thanks," he said, slightly put off by her behavior, and found himself extremely glad that she was here instead of Ron and Hermione. "I appreciate it, but you didn't have to."

"No-no, it's alright," she said, quickly.

"Thanks, I'm getting tired of sleeping, especially if I have to worry about Voldemort keeping me from waking up," he said sarcastically.

"Do you see him in your dreams a lot?" she asked, uncertainly after a pause.

"Sometimes, mostly I just dream about Sirius..." he admitted.

"Is that why you haven't been sleeping?" she asked, looking up into his eyes.

"Mostly, but there are other things..." he said, slowly.

"Too bad that potion Madam Pomfrey gives you only works for about a week," she said, with a weak smile.

"Yeah, no kidding, then I wouldn't have to worry about seeing anything," he paused and stared at her.

"You can't try dreaming about something else?" she asked, cautiously.

"No," he said determinately, for some reason.

She smirked half-heartedly and said softly, "Harry, you need to let it go. You see into his mind when his emotions are up, right? And he comes into your dreams when you are weaker?"

Then Harry suddenly remembered something he had not thought about. He did know a way to stop Voldemort, but that meant letting go of his emotions. His anger... his guilt....

"That'd mean, letting Sirius go..." he said aloud, unintentionally.

Ginny looked at him sympathetically. He had gotten used to seeing Sirius. At first, the dreams just caused him pain and misery, but now, Sirius's memory protected him from Voldemort. It was a place of comfort, almost a refuge. He grew accustomed to seeing Sirius. He wanted to see him.

"I only can see him in my dreams..." he finally said.

"Do you think he'd like you to remember him that way?" Ginny asked.

"No," he surrendered.

"Well, Vol-... he is using Sirius's memory to get to you. He's using Sirius against you," she paused for a second before continuing. "Harry, you have to forgive yourself. You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened. Maybe... it's time to say... good-bye," she said, softly.

"Yeah... maybe..." he said, deep in thought.

Voldemort was using Sirius's memory to hear the prophecy and he was going to hear it eventually if they kept up this endless mind battle with each other. Stopping Voldemort was the only thing that mattered, now. It was time. He had to say goodbye to Sirius. He would understand, he thought and looked up at Ginny, and realized how helpful she had been.

"You know, it's a lot easier to talk to you," he admitted and smiled at her.

Ginny went red again and kind of mumbled a thanks. Harry realized something else was going on here, and tried to break the tension by changing the subject.

"How's the studying going?" he said, nonchalantly.

"Alright, I guess, I don't have anyone to study with right now," she said.

"Well, I'm here. Want me to quiz you?" he asked

"Sure. Thanks, Harry," she said, and handed him the book with a wide smile.

After a couple more days, Madam Pomfrey reluctantly allowed him to leave. He would still get a little dizzy, but he regained all of his basic motor functions. After they ate lunch, he explained some of what happened to them, but he only said that Voldemort wanted to know about the Order. He was not sure they believed him, but he did not want to talk about it. He shook them off in the common room and went up to his room. He wanted to think. Somehow, Voldemort had communicated with Nott to put that potion in Harry's drink, but that was not what Harry was thinking about.

He put a chair under the doorknob of his room, crossed the room to his trunk and pulled out all of his stuff. There on the bottom was Sirius's broken mirror. He pulled out his wand and repaired it. He sat down on his bed, holding the mirror to his face.

"Sirius?" he asked just to make sure.

He wanted to talk to him, one more time, and explain. He had to justify what he was going to do. He stared at the mirror and thought hard, and then he spoke into the mirror, imagining that Sirius was really there.

"Sirius, I miss you, so much. I want to be with you, but I can't. I have to fight him, and I can't do that... if you are in my dreams. I guess, I am saying... good-bye. We will see each other again... one day," he said, sadly.

He had tears in his eyes. It was done, he thought. The mirror did not do anything. He nodded and then wrapped the mirror up in one of his old shirts and put it safely in the bottom of the trunk. He threw his other stuff on top of it and closed the trunk. He turned around and sat down on it. He decided. He made a resolution. He would not let Voldemort in again. He would stop dreaming about Sirius and Cedric. He was going to take control of his mind. Sirius would understand. He had to beat Voldemort.

There was a rattling at the door and Harry heard Ron's voice through the door. He crossed the room, moved the chair and opened the door, but before Ron could say anything, Harry cut him off.

"We need to go to the library," he said, simply.

He walked passed him and went downstairs. Ron was confused, but followed. Harry told the same thing to Hermione in the common room, and walked out the portrait hole. They followed, asking why.

He merely replied, "To learn what I should have learned a year ago...."

* * * * *

It was less than two weeks before the Easter Ball, and most of teachers gave out assignments ahead of time, so they could start doing them before the ball. Hagrid finally bit off more than he could chew, when Nemesis took a bite out of him and Madam Pomfrey had to mend the gash. No one was remotely interested in going near Nemesis now.

In Transfiguration, they started taking Human Transfiguration notes. Professor Flitwick gave them a break and reviewed mending, but Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions were the hardest classes. Snape, it seemed, had defied all odds and successfully taught both classes without difficulty. However, Harry was doing a lot better since he started Occulmency, again.

Harry kept to his resolution and let Ron and Hermione help him to learn Occulmency. They searched through the library and found methods to close off the mind and shut down emotions. It was more than just empting his feelings at night. He had to keep his anger, hatred, and happiness in check throughout the day. He practiced during the day, and read more information in his spare time. He really wanted to defeat it, and that was better than any other reason to succeed.

Harry also focused harder on his practical lessons than he ever had before, and quickly caught up and surpassed the rest of the class. He tried hard to focus his emotions, and acted indifferently to problems that came up.

One day he was in the library and researching using Animomency in Occulmency. He rounded one of the bookcases and ran straight into Malfoy, who fell backward onto the floor. He looked up angrily, jumped up to his feet and pulled out his wand. This was Harry's first real test. He relaxed and tried to push all the confrontations he had had with Malfoy out of his mind.

"Malfoy," he said as calmly as possible, stepping aside to let Malfoy pass.

Malfoy looked him square in the eye, half-crazed and ready to attack. However, the commotion had caused Madam Price, the vulture-like librarian, to investigate. She ended any thought of a fight. Malfoy shoved his wand back into his robes and stormed out of the library. He had not lost control on his first test, but then again Malfoy had not said anything.

Harry had accepted the loss of Sirius and knew he had to move on. His determination and change in demeanor astonished and impressed Ron and Hermione. They helped him, when they could, and being poisoned had caused them to worry initially. However, now that he feeling better, they went back to their strange behavior around each other.

Harry decided to respect Ron's decision to tell him what was going on when he was ready to tell him, as Ron had stayed out of his problems more than a few times. He suspected they had had another row, but usually they get over their rows pretty fast. He noticed Ginny was acting strange as well, but he decided to let all of them figure it out themselves.

Snape, like always, managed to darken a good vacation with a bunch of homework for their Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Ginny and the other fifth and seventh years were more overloaded than they were. During Quidditch practice, Ron, out of sympathy for his younger sister, told them that they would not practice a lot during the break. They had had a great practice, too, although the Slytherin team cut it short. The final match was coming up and it was going to be good.

Both teams were tied for the Quidditch Cup. The Gryffindor team just had to win the game, and the cup was theirs. The hostility between the teams raged on, but the two Houses decided to have an undeclared truce for the ball.

One night, Harry was reading a book on mind control for Defense Against the Dark Arts, with Crookshanks curled up on his lap, Ron was reading a book on Quidditch plays, and Hermione was doing her Potions homework. Everyone else in the common room had gone to bed, but a strained silence had enveloped over them.

Finally, Hermione had reached the end of her tether and announced suddenly that she was going to bed. She said goodnight to Harry, and after a long awkward pause, said goodnight to Ron, who mumbled a response. Harry watched Ron eyes follow her up the staircase. Harry was slightly thrown, but went back to reading. Ron just watched the staircase and did not take notice of him, but when Harry was in the middle of a page, Ron decided to speak.

"Harry?" Ron said, not looking at him.

"Yeah?" Harry responded, continuing to read.

"Do you think I should ask her out?" Ron asked, quietly.

"Ask who out?" Harry said absentmindedly, still absorbed in the book.

"Hermione..." Ron said, almost whispering.

Harry felt like a ton of bricks was dropped on him. He stopped reading and looked up. Ron would not look into his eyes, but kept shooting looks over at the stairway, in case she came back down. Harry was still recovering from the initial shock.

Was this the answer to all of their behavior? They were thinking about, or already having, a relationship? Harry did not really know what to say. His Occulmency training went out the window. Ron was asking him for important advice. Harry had to think... hard... of what to say.

"Does she... want to go out with you?" he said, as calmly as possible.

"Yeah, I think so," Ron said, nodding.

"Then... what's the problem?" Harry asked, with some confidence.

"Well, I don't know what people would say.... We are all friends, and that thing about you, her and Krum... I don't want anything to happen to her," Ron said looking at the floor, and Harry thought for a second before answering.

"Since when do you, or her, care what other people think? And you know I don't want to go out with Hermione, and Krum..." he paused, and suddenly thought bringing up Krum was not a good idea.

"He's got a new girlfriend. They're just friends," Ron said quietly.

"Oh, well, see... there is nothing to worry about," Harry said, encouragingly.

"You really think I should?" Ron asked, uncertainly, still looking away from him.

"Ron, yeah... you guys would be great, and if I hadn't been so held up in my own problems, I would have seen it earlier," Harry said, supportively. Ron finally looked up at Harry.

"Really? I just wasn't sure that..." Ron started awkwardly.

"...sure that I'd agree? You two are my best friends, of course I would," Harry said, smiling. Ron smiled, too, but started to become very stiff.

"Tomorrow..." he said, nodding to himself, as though trying to work up the courage. After a few moments of silence, Harry felt that Ron wanted to be alone.

"I'm going to bed, you coming?" Harry said, knowing Ron would not come.

"No, I'm just going to stay down here awhile..." Ron said, nervously.

"Ok," Harry said, with a smirk.

Harry went up to bed and tried to empty his emotions before he went to sleep. Ron and Hermione. Besides the fact that they fight all time, they work well together and made up afterward. They would do well together. He remembered how Ron was at the Yule ball. He was not being over-protective. He probably realized how much he cared about Hermione.

But what if Hermione said no? Harry was getting nervous over this. If their relationship wasn't awkward now, what would it be like if she said no? However, he realized he needed to empty his emotions. So, he tried to put Ron and Hermione out of his mind, with some difficulty. However, his mind kept going back to a girl with red flaming hair. He did not know why, but he smiled into his pillow. He did have a dream, but not with Voldemort or Sirius in it.