Draco Malfoy, Broken

I probably should have been doing this already, but...

***TRIGGER WARNING*** - for panic/anxiety attack and depravity. Sorry, I'll try to be more mindful.***

Potter listened quietly as Draco told him all that had happened at the Battle of Hogwarts. He didn't interrupt, though his eyes reacted sometimes. Potter near froze when Draco told him how Fred died. They thought it was a random chance. Draco went on, his voice low and rough, on how he saved Luna, then ran from Goyle and into the other Death Eater that Ron had saved him from. He told him about the giant, saving Ginny, hunting and trying to capture Goyle. He held it together until he got to the part when he was reunited with his mother.

"She-She just hugged me and a-asked me if I.. if I was okay..." Draco said, tears welling in his eyes. His mother had bruises and cuts on her body, like his father did. He didn't want to know what they did to her. "I t-told her... t-that we... that we were f-free. But I was w-wrong... wasn't I? They d-didn't even w-wait...."

He couldn't even finish, he broke down, sobbing uncontrollably. His arms would not stop shaking. He hated being so weak, but he had no pride anymore. They all had stripped him of everything. Vance, Voldemort, his father, his aunt and all the other Death Eaters had ripped out every bit of his strength. He brought his head down to his chest, he started to hyperventilate. It wasn't the first time he had an attack, but usually he was alone.

Potter grabbed his hand and Draco recoiled, bringing his head up and trying to pull his hand away. Potter tightened his grip and wouldn't let go. Draco was in no condition to wrest it away from him. He just kept trying to pull it away, but Harry didn't release his hand.

"It's okay... you're going to be okay, Mal-Draco," Potter said, his green eyes looking right at him. His calm, warm presence was soothing. Draco felt his heart slow down. "Breathe, Draco."

He tried. In and out... in and out. It took near 5 minutes before it went back to a somewhat normal rhythm. He tried to pull his hand away the whole time. He managed to get his thumb free, but Potter held on. Draco thought if he had really resisted, Potter would have let go, but both of them knew he needed the connection after being alone for so long. Draco finally stopped tugging and his unsteady hand gripped Potter's. He took a deep breath and then another. The panic slowly subsided. He breathed in slowly and when he was ready, he met Potter's compassionate eyes, again.

"Are you... better?" he asked, deciding that "okay" was a little too much to ask of him. Draco nodded. But it wasn't enough for Potter. He didn't let go.

"I'm better... thank you," Draco muttered and Potter loosened his grip.

Draco missed the connection already. He brought his trembling hand to his chest. He knew the tremors would stop eventually. They were a side effect of too many Crucios. He looked up at Potter. He could see pity in his eyes. Draco hated it.

"I'd understand... if you wanted to leave me here..." Draco said, continuing like nothing had happened. "I want you to know everything that happened... I didn't want to hide anything."

"You're serious? You really think I'd leave you here?" Potter said, amazed and mad at the same time.

"Weasley was your friend."

"He was my family, but you didn't kill him."

"I could've stopped it. If I had but picked up the wand first or knocked it out of Goyle's hand."

"Do you know how many people I would have saved if I had done something different, Malfoy? My godfather? Cedric? You know I asked him to take the Triwizard Cup with me? They both were killed for no reason other than I screwed up!" Potter yelled. Draco cowered from his tone and Potter backed off. "Sorry... it's just... it wasn't your fault, Draco."

"You saved me and Goyle and that's the reason your... brother... died," Draco whispered.

"Yes... perhaps. Or someone else could have attacked us. It was a battle," Potter said, quietly. "Not to mention you just told me you saved Luna, Ginny, Hannah, Ernie, Seamus and tried to stop Neville from attacking Voldemort. Not to mention stopping Crabbe and Goyle from attacking me."

"You were so unobservant, I wanted to hex you for being so blind," Draco snorted. "I practically had full conversations with Crabbe and Goyle and you were oblivious."

"There's the Malfoy I know," Potter said, smirking. "To be fair, there were explosions and people yelling everywhere."

Draco smiled, too. "I think that Invisibility Cloak of yours has made you less observant."

Potter laughed. "It's funny, Dumbledore told me something like that in my first year at school."

"You've had an Invisibility Cloak since you were 11?" Draco looked at him, impressed.

"Yep... Christmas present. I could say it was from my dad... or Dumbledore. Both would be true and both would be false." Draco shook his head, but Potter stood up. "Are you ready, now?"

Draco looked up at him and the open door, tense. Trust wasn't easy, but he nodded. Potter moved his hand forward. Draco took a deep breath and took his hand.

"Might need some help... I haven't really walked since you were here last."

"I got you," Harry promised, and heaved him to his feet. Draco's feet were just as unsteady and shaky as his hands were. With some effort, he managed to stand. "You okay?" Potter asked.

"Sure. I think I can walk," Draco said, making small steps.

"Umm... I'm going to cast a spell..." Potter announced, awkwardly.

Draco gave him a look. "Okay?"

"You didn't seem to appreciate me pointing a wand at you before," Potter said. "I said I'd warn you."

"Oh... yeah... I'm sure you'd be jumpy too if you were cursed as many times as I have been in the last 2 weeks," he grunted.

"Scourgify!" Potter said, pointing at Draco. He trembled as the grime on his skin and hair washed away magically.

"Prat," he grumbled, though he felt a lot better.

"Then why are you smiling?"

"Shut up," Draco said. "And thanks."

"You were always so particular about your appearance," Potter muttered.

Draco straightened and stared at him. "Is that why you brought this?" he asked, fingering the black robes Potter brought.

"Y-Yeah, I guess," Potter shrugged. "You take pride in how you look. I'm assuming you didn't want anyone to see you like... that."

Draco looked into Potter's eyes, alarmed by the concern and care he had shown. Other than his mother, no one had ever given his feelings so much consideration. "Thank you...."

Potter nodded and waited for Draco to walk out. He took a few small steps and stopped at the door. "It's gone," Potter reassured him. He noted that Potter didn't say the "D" word.

Draco took a big unsteady step out the door. He had to grab the railing, as his leg gave out, but he made it. He clutched the rail like it was a lifeline. He felt the panic rising in his chest. He took some deep breaths and slowly made his way down the steps. He kept stopping and looking around.

"They're all gone," Potter said, coming up next to him. "The Patronus Charm is my second favorite spell."

Draco looked at him. He had felt the pure energy earlier, but he was surprised Potter could rid the whole place of dementors. Potter took the lead and waited patiently for him to make it down the stairs. Eventually, they made it to the bottom floor and Potter held the door for him.

Draco Malfoy stepped out into the fading light of the sunset. He could smell the salt from the sea and feel the wind on his face. He was outside, outside for the first time in months. Tears of happiness formed in his eyes. He glanced at Potter, who was watching him. He breathed the fresh air and nodded.

"Fuck," Potter said, ruining the moment.

"What?" Draco asked and then looked where Potter's eyes went. The two Ministry officials and Vance were by the water where there had brought him to the island months ago. "Oh."

"Why the hell are they still here?" Potter growled.

"Maybe they don't think you can handle me," Draco scoffed under his breath.

"Ha ha. You want me to get rid of him?" Potter asked.

"I'm fine... I think," Draco said, uncertainly.

"Okay. I'll hex him if he gets too mouthy," Potter declared.

"My hero," Draco breathed too low for the Savior to hear, or so he thought. Potter gave him a look.

Potter walked down to the Apparition point, leading the way, and asked, "Why are you still here?"

"You said you'd be out. We didn't want to leave you here," Penelope said.

"What the hell took you so damn long? I couldn't convince this Death Eater-loving traitors to leave! He's fucking worthless anyway!" Vance growled and eyed Draco as he walked down to them. "Well, you got him upright, anyway."

"Fuck you, Vance," Draco growled, determined not to be broken by such a man.

Vance looked stunned. "H-How?"

"It only took a few minutes of some human compassion to undue your fucking bullshit," Potter growled.

"A few minutes? You were up there for almost 2 hours," Baker said, a little annoyed for the wait.

"Well, it was like a half hour... we had to iron out some issues. Sorry, I didn't expect you both to wait."

"I was waiting, too!" Vance growled indignantly.

"Shut up. Your sister would have been ashamed of you," Potter growled. Vance stood up and tried to run at Potter, but he sucker punched him. "Enjoy prison. Thank you, Inspector Baker and Inspector Clearwater. Sorry for the misunderstanding."

"No problem, Harry," Penelope said, watching blood gush out of Vance's nose. Draco smiled.

"Warlock Potter," Baker said, tipping his hat. They each grabbed an arm of Vance and disappeared with a pop.

"Warlock?"

"I'm a member of the Wizengamot," Potter said, shrugging.

"Of course you are. Where are we going?"

"My house. Hermione is there."

"Why?"

"Why my house or why is Hermione there?"

"Both, or at least why your house?"

"I'm taking responsibility of you until you are free. Ready?" Potter said.

He didn't wait for Draco to respond. He grabbed Draco's hand and actually interlocked their fingers together. Draco didn't even have a chance to pull away, before Potter pulled him along. The prison disappeared behind them, as Potter pulled him into his whirlwind. Draco felt the rush and adrenaline as he transported through space and air. Potter guided him to the other side. He landed inside an old house, his legs gave out and he nearly fell to the floor. But Potter kept his hold on him and pulled him back up.

"A little warning, Potter," Draco growled, making his legs work. Potter hadn't released him from his grip, so he sneered, "You can let go, now."

Potter smirked. "You're sounding like you're back to normal."

Draco glared at him and Potter loosened his fingers. Draco pulled his hand free. "You could have grabbed my arm."

"Sorry, force of habit. Hermione and I use to Apparate together like that."

"I'm not Her-" Draco stopped talking, once he heard her voice.

"Harry? Are you home?" Hermione called, coming out of the kitchen. Her brown eyes rested on the pair of them. "Oh, thank heavens. I was starting to think something bad had happened. I held off dinner. Are you hungry?"

She was addressing him... or mostly him. Draco didn't respond. He just looked away from her, unable to make his jaw move. Vance's torture wasn't that easily undone.

"Sure, we're hungry. Did you make something? Or did you want me to?" Potter answered.

"No, Harry, I got it. I'll just make some soup from the can. Nothing big," she said, going back into the kitchen.

"Thanks," Potter said and was about to guide Draco in, when Draco pulled away from him again. Potter stared and held up his hands. "Sorry."

Draco tried to get his emotions under control again, but he was in a strange place and at the mercy of others. Potter's face lined with concern, as he read the situation. Draco lowered his eyes, trying to hide.

"It's going to be okay. You're safe here."

Draco didn't respond, but let Potter show him into his kitchen. He glanced around looking for danger, but it was just Granger, opening cans by hand and dumping them into a pan on the stove. Potter took the seat at the end of table, he turned his head to look at him. Draco slid into the bench seat against the wall. He kept his trembling hands under the table.

Potter and Hermione traded some more words, nothing about him. Hermione was heating up the pan over a flame. He wondered why she didn't just use magic. As though to respond to his question, she pulled out her wand and charmed the bowls and spoons to the table. Draco froze as soon as he saw her wand. Even after it was gone, he couldn't relax. Some wizard he was. He wondered if he'd ever get used to it.

Hermione ladled some soup into a bowl in front of him, his eyes looked at her. She looked stressed and worn out. She didn't look at him, though he could tell she was angry. He kept his head down and looked at the soup. There was no way he could eat. His hands wouldn't stop shaking enough to get any of it to his mouth. He certainly wouldn't sink low enough to let either of them feed him. 

Potter started eating. "Tastes good, Hermione."

"Please... don't tell me you enjoy it, or are you just reminiscing about our time on the run?" Hermione scoffed sitting down opposite of Draco with her bowl in front of her.

"I didn't poison it, Malfoy," Hermione said, staring inscrutably at Draco.

"Leave him alone. I'm sure he'll eat when he's ready. How did it go with... them?" Potter said quietly.

"Good. They understood... and it's for you, they'd do just about anything for you."

"Sure. Neville?"

"All set."

"Thanks."

"No problem," Hermione said. "Harry what about... Ron?"

"I'll handle it."

"Define handle?"

"Hermione...."

"Fine," Hermione settled her sights on Draco. He stared at the table. Potter stopped eating to watch their interaction. "Draco... look at me."

Draco Malfoy didn't. He couldn't. He didn't remember how to talk. He couldn't look at her when he was this... broken. He had to beat down another attack. Potter mouthed something to her, but he couldn't tell what he told her.

"I see... you're too good to speak to a mudblood!" she growled.

Draco flinched. "No... of course not!"

"Won't even eat dinner with a mudblood!" she shrieked indignantly.

"No! It's j-just I c-can't..." Draco spluttered, but stopped himself. His eyes looked up into her searching eyes.

"Can't! Can't what?" she yelled. "Eat food I prepared!"

Draco was nearly in panic, until he saw a smirk on Potter's face. He cut off his spiraling emotions. He looked at her accusingly.

"Can't what, Malfoy?" she demanded, all righteous indignation gone.

His cheeks reddened. He pulled up his spasming hands. He hated the look of pity in her eyes.

"Well... I could just use a Stability Charm..." she began, pulling out her wand, again.

"No!" he jolted, his heart racing. She looked at him and realized that he was staring at her wand. She put it away.

"You have to eat, Malfoy," she said, pointedly. "Unless you want me to...."

"No... I'll try," he said.

He figured he might make a mess, but it was better than being spoon fed. He made to grab the spoon, dropping it several times, before he got a grip on it. His adventure in learning how to eat without coordination was only beginning. It took a while, but he managed to finish the bowl. Potter wrote a letter, while Hermione made idle conversation while reading the newspaper. She looked over when he stopped eating.

"Done?"

"Yes, thank you," Draco said, looking up into her soft, brown eyes.

"You're welcome," she said, carrying the plate to the sink. She washed their bowls and spoons, as well as the pan, all by hand. She sat back down at the table and stared at him. "Alright, tell me what happened."

"You'll have to be more specific," Draco drawled.

"How about why you wince every time you see a wand and are shaking like you have a muggle neurological disease," she said, pointedly.

Draco clamped his mouth shut and looked down. He wasn't yet ready to form words about what Vance had done. He didn't want to process it, any of it. Not Vance, not Voldemort, his father, or all the things that they did to him.

"Do you want me to tell her?" Potter asked, looking at him.

Draco turned his head so he could see the simmering eyes of the Savior. Potter stared at him unflinchingly, the same calm, cool manner he had when he defeated the Dark Lord. Draco looked down and nodded. 

Potter told his best friend in a surprising amount of detail what Vance had been doing to him, though either Vance or Draco had told him that much. Hermione grasped several times and looked at him, but he would not look at either of them. He was burying his emotions... or trying to. He was rigid. Another attack was coming. They were delving too deep into his suppressed memories.

"Draco..." Potter called to him.

He didn't immediately respond, but slowly lifted his head to look at Potter, who waited for him.

"It's okay," Potter said. "You're going to be okay."

Draco nodded, he was done with conversation. He was losing the fight in his mind. He hadn't stayed this stable for so long since... he couldn't remember. They tried to talk to him, but he didn't pay attention. He was spent. Despite the soup, he was empty inside. He sealed in his feelings, just like when he was in Voldemort's clutches. The Dark Lord... his Dark Lord. He froze like he was in mortal danger, trapped back at Malfoy Manor.

Potter moved his hand forward, again, no doubt trying to break his mental paralysis. Draco did not cringe away. Even when Potter made contact with his shoulder, he couldn't pull away. Voldemort would not suffer such weakness. His heart started racing under direct contact. He dropped his shoulder slightly, but trembling under contact.

Potter frowned, no doubt confused by his lack of response. "Hey, come on, Draco," Potter called to him and shook his shoulder.

Voldemort whispered in his ear. "What are you going to? Are you going to fight back?"

Draco shook his head, automatically. There was no fighting back.

"No what?" Potter asked loudly and his voice broke through the haze in his mind.

Draco came back out his memories and pulled away of Potter's hand.

"Nothing," Draco mumbled, staying out of his reach. "What happens, now?"

Potter didn't look like he wanted to change the subject.

"Well... tomorrow everyone who we found will testify to the Wizengamot, before you will be called in to speak to the Court. They'll ask some questions and then they'll decide to either modify your sentence or issue a re-trial," Granger answered, her tone crisp and direct.

"Or do nothing," he said, quietly.

"Oh, they're not stupid enough to do that. I'll be with you the whole time. You know how annoying I can be," Potter said, his mouth forming a devilish half-smile. Malfoy looked at him and smiled too. "They'll do something Malfoy or there'll be hell to pay," he promised.

Hermione sighed, "Do you want to hear about what we..."

"No!" he said, quickly. He wanted no part of rehashing the past. He had to deal with it every time he closed his eyes or let his mind wander.

Potter tilted his head and Hermione said, "Alright, but we should talk about what you are going to say to the Court."

"I don't think it's necessary," he muttered.

"Really? What are you going to say?" Hermione said pointedly. He didn't answer her. His jaw firmly set. She leaned forward. "Can you talk to them?"

His eyes sparked some of their old life in them as they rested on her, without blinking.

"Hermione..." Potter warned.

"I'm not beating 'round the bush anymore, Harry. We don't have all the time in the world. Will you be able to?" she said, looking at Malfoy intently.

"I'll manage," he grunted, folding under her stare.

"I'll be right there, too. The whole time. Hermione will argue and call the witnesses to testify before we go in. She knows the... legal side of your defense," Potter spoke.

"And you're what? My babysitter?" Draco scoffed.

"Right now..." Potter joked. "I'm your arbitrator. I can stir the crowd quite well, actually."

Draco grimaced. There was a small glimmer of hope flickering in him. He didn't want it to spread. Hope was dangerous and painful. He was starting to suspect just how much the pair of them had been working to free him. It was too much.

"Why? Why are you doing this? I mean before you knew about the other stuff... you've been trying to get me out," he said, louder than he meant to.

Potter wasn't offended, but leaned back in his chair. Hermione looked at him, waiting for her own answers.

"I always knew there was something more to you than what your father made you do. You were more than a Death Eater... or a son of one. I know you didn't want to kill anyone. You didn't want to kill me. You didn't want Voldemort. He used and abused you. You had no choice."

"It's easy to say that, now," he responded, fighting to stay in the present.

Potter leaned forward and asked, "Why did you plead guilty, Draco? You could have told the Wizengamot what happened."

"Who would believe me? Or care."

Potter bobbed his head. "I guess... from your point of view... that you would think no one would. But you can see now you are wrong."

"I'm still Marked."

"So am I," Potter said, lifting the front fringe of his bangs to reveal the lightening-shaped scar.

"There's a difference," Draco muttered.

"Not much. Voldemort gave me this, Draco."

"Yes, trying to kill you for the first of 100 times. Mine I got when I was on my knees, pledging my undying loyalty to him," he growled.

"After he tortured your mother in front of you," Potter said, quietly.

Draco sucked in a breath, his mind splitting focus between the memory and reality, before finally settling back in the present. "I... how...."

"Your mom," Potter said, quietly.

"She told you that?" he whispered.

"She told me everything."

He shut down his emotions, trying not to respond. Everything... what the hell did that entail? he thought, worriedly. His mother wasn't there for it all, but there were several humiliating moments Draco rather not want Potter, much less the Wizengamot, know. Fuck, she was going to testify. Draco's heart was speeding, now, full panic settling in.

"Hey, it's going to be..." Potter started.

"DO NOT SAY 'OKAY'!" he shrieked, burying his face on his hands. Tears, that so readily came nowadays, fell from his eyes. "Damn it, Potter. You can't make her testify."

"I think you're confused. I'm not making her do anything," Potter said, calmly.

"You know what I mean! She can't do it," he insisted.

"You're letting your pride get ahead of you."

"You know I don't have much left, Potter. If she told you... if she tells them... how can I ever look anyone in the eye, again? How the hell am I supposed to survive if everyone knows the most painful parts of my past and can bring them up whenever they want to hurt me? Nevermind what it'd do to my mom, Potter. They hurt her in ways that you can't imagine and they did it to hurt me. Are you really going to put her through all that to help me?"

"She is willing to do it. She wants you back."

"No... no... I don't want her...."

"It's not your choice.

"The hell it isn't!"

"Harry..." Hermione interrupted their argument.

He turned to her and looked into her moistened eyes. He let out a breath of exhaustion. "I will ask her not to speak for you, under one condition...."

Draco froze and looked at him. "What?" he whispered, now afraid.

"That you testify... make a statement and you tell the whole truth, when asked. I'm not asking you to tell everything, but you had better be willing to answer their questions."

Draco backed away from him, shocked.

"That's the deal, Malfoy. If you don't defend yourself, I'll call in your mother to give her side of the 온라인카지노게임. Take it or leave it."

His mouth dropped. It was the best deal he was going to get. He lowered his head and said, exasperated, "Deal."

Potter nodded. "Very well."

Draco shrank away from him. Potter's power over him now very much established.

"No," Potter said, horrified. He leaned over to reach for him, again.

"Damn it, Potter! Stop touching me! I do not like it!" he growled, curling up like a frightened dog.

"Sorry, sorry! It's just... Malfoy, you don't have to be afraid of me. I won't ever hurt you with what I know."

"You're exhorting me right now," he spat, still not looking up.

"I'm protecting you. They need to know why you did what you did. It has to come from you... or your mom."

"And I'm supposed to like it?"

"No, you won't. But I won't blackmail you... or use what I know to directly hurt you. I promise," Harry vowed, looking at him. His green eyes filled with absolute truth.

Draco nodded and glanced at Hermione, who said, "I don't know it all, but I won't either."

Draco relaxed slightly. He was already indebted to these two beyond measure. He couldn't fathom they were trying to get him out of Azkaban just to hurt him more.

"There's probably something else you should know... then..." Potter started. Draco's pale grey eyes looked at his de facto guardian, waiting. "Blaise told me something else about you... that I haven't shared with anybody... and won't."

Draco looked confused for a second and that it hit him. Potter really does know it all.

I saw someone else put all this blank space at the bottom and I realized how much I like it when I'm on my phone. I tend to read at the top of my phone and this space will stop me from skipping to the next chapter. Smiley face!