A Touch of Madness (A Recipe...

I got out at Alex’s house because he said we needed to discuss the terms of him winning the competition. And even as tired as I was, I am a gracious loser so I agreed to listen even though I wanted to go home and sleep. It was my first time seeing Alex’s place so I kicked off my heels and shamelessly padded around the apartment while he set up two glasses from his kitchen. Well I’d wanted to try more of the wine and it seemed he did too, but a part of me was nervous for it, so I worried at my stitches anxiously.  “What’s this?” I asked suspiciously.

“My demand; that we celebrate a fun night out and new friends.” He answered, pouring me a glass. I liked this demand better than having to call him sir; we’d made a deal so I drank the wine. “Not bad, I was half afraid it was going to taste awful.” He said after taking a bit. So we sat on his couch, talking while we drank. Even with the Fae wine he was an obnoxious asshole. We were near the bottom of the bottle and my stitches were itching insanely so I kept scratching them but it didn’t help. Then a couple snapped with an audible twang and  I started bleeding.

“Son of a bitch!” I exclaimed and clamped a hand on the wound. I stood up and wobbled over to the bathroom sink. I had an obscene urge to laugh as blood dripped into the sink. I didn’t want to get blood on my brand new, only worn once dress, and though I wasn’t bleeding badly I wasn’t exactly 100% stable either so I awkwardly peeled off the dress.

“You ok Callahan?” Alex asked, watching from the door. He looked at the lingerie I’d stripped down to and an eyebrow shot up, but like a gentleman he kept eye contact with me instead of leering at my exposed body.

“Popped a stitch and started bleeding, other than that I’m alright.” I replied, patting my arm clean and dry. The popped stitches still oozed blood. “Can you bandage this for me? It’s in an awkward location for me to do it myself.” I asked.

“There’s a housecoat on the back of the bathroom door.” Alex informed me as he grabbed some bandages and tape and led me back to the couch where he took off the white shirt to avoid blood stains. I sat next to him with the house coat belted in place but with one arm free so he could hold it on his lap and tape it. Heat radiated off of his body against my cold arm and his hands were gentle as he used butterfly stitches to close the wound. “Better?” he mumbled, looking at me. I nodded, head feeling oddly light thanks to the wine. “How’s the neck?” he asked, voice a little off. I tilted my head to the side so he could check the bite mark. I could feel his breath as he leaned over to check it out. “It’s leaving a scar.” He mumbled, running a finger over the tender spot which caused goose bumps to race down my skin.

“That hurts.” I said softly, grabbing his hand to stop it moving. I was lying, it didn’t hurt at all but it scared me that I wanted him to keep touching me.

“Sorry.” He looked at me, bright orange eyes glassy and his dark skin seeming flushed. “I think the magic in the wine has kicked in.” he added and scooted away as if I were dangerous.

“Yeah.” I agreed, hurt by his fear. To be fair I was dangerous when I lost control, and if Barry had told him that then Alex would know to be cautious around me and my violent magic. Since the wine amplifies emotions the fear quickly escalated only this time my usual anger didn’t follow to temper it. Just the panic that flared up, eating over my skin and staining the air around us with flickers of fire and water and earth while the air swirled in agitation.

“Callahan calm down.” Alex warned. But I couldn’t; I don’t like to have my control taken away because when that happens I’ve killed people accidentally. They were horrible people hurting Barry and his family, but I’d still been the one to kill them, and I didn’t want a lack of control now to hurt Alex. The wine hadn’t affected me at the Ball, so I had honestly thought that it was harmless. It wasn’t harmless; it had just taken more than a single glass to ruin me. Panic was making me tremble because the more I tried to pull my control in of the elements, the more I just poured power into their chaos. I felt him grab me and shake me a little. “Callahan!” he said sharply. I couldn’t focus on him, breath coming in panicked gasps. He really got my attention when his lips mashed against mine and panic got its ass kicked by shock. The Fae magic didn’t care if it was fear, anger or lust it was magnifying. I think he’d kissed me to make me angry, to snap me out of the fear but it didn’t evoke that response. Instead another emotion entirely took over and I kissed him back, quickly adjusting to the sensation of kissing a man with a mustache and beard. I locked my arms around his neck and straddled his lap never once stopping the kiss and in response his arms wrapped tightly around me, pressing me against his bare chest. He ground against me through his tuxedo pant, moaning in his throat. Magic was building in the room with an audible hum responding to the energy we were raising. I was losing even the last shred of control of the elements but the Fae magic made it hard for me to care. There were streaks of fire dancing with earth and water through the air. They were only brief manifestations and did no damage, but I wasn’t controlling them.

Alex’s fingers unbelted the house coat and he pulled it off of me, running hands over the skin left exposed by my lacy lingerie. His arms cupped my backside as he stood up, walking us into the bedroom. I clung to him, chewing his lip carefully and making him growl. He pressed me down on the bed, his body a hard line over me. I buried my hand in his hair glad it was long enough to grab. My legs locked around his waist as he ground against me, licking and nibbling down my neck and jaw. He carefully licked the old bite mark, drawing another moan out of me. He bit down gently as I arched against him and fire actually danced around us, caught in a whirlwind of air. He kissed me again, deep and feral, a rumble in his chest. Even through his pants I could feel him hard and throbbing against me every time he thrust. I was pressed down into the bed as he bit gently at one of my breasts, pulling the lace cup aside to access the nipple. I shook in response sucking in gasping breaths as magic and power started to pour from me to crash into him, build up and cascade back to me through my ability to hook into others. I’d never had this kind of reaction to it before and I was clearly not the only one feeling it because Alex was moving faster against me now and we were saturated in energy and magic. I bit down on his neck in the identical spot to where he had bitten me earlier and with a loud moan he came, body jerking as the energy rushed through him. He collapsed on top of me as the magic in the Fae wine left suddenly. I untucked my legs from around him as he pushed himself up off of me to look at me in shock; I don’t think either of us had expected THAT.

“You’re bleeding.” I said, pointing at his neck where I’d bitten him. My brain was chasing thoughts around, trying to put them in order and this seemed like the most innocuous of things to say. He touched his neck and came away with bloody fingerprints then left the room silently. I used the chance to adjust my bra and grab my dress, stunned by the damage my uncontrolled magic had done to his apartment. The few potted plants he’d had were suddenly reaching tendrils and roots all over, having shattered their containing pots and spilled loam and dirt as they grew mammoth, there were scorch marks on the couch, floors and across the ceiling although no actual flames flickered in view. The floor also squelched underfoot from where I’d somehow rained on the carpet. I stood by the kitchen, completely devastated by what had happened, why it had happened, and the clear evidence of my inability to control volatile gifts.

“I guess that was a bad idea.” It was redundant but I needed to fill the silence while I heard running water from the bathroom and when it stopped, I stayed in the kitchen while Alex watched me from the bathroom door. Talk about awkward silence. I could feel a bout of the shakes trying to descend on me, but I held them off as much as I could.

“I think it would be best if you went home now.” He said carefully. Relief, frustration, hurt and anger flooded through me in a mind boggling mix so I just grabbed my shoes and walked out the door without saying a thing. I called a taxi from the lobby and went home, mind full of mixed thoughts and body sore with frustrated need. I was a little hurt, more ashamed and a lot alarmed. Today sucked and Fae wine sucked more; it had just ruined whatever it was that Alex and I were. I hadn’t made Alex drink the stuff but it was my reaction to it that had caused the ensuing madness and I was pretty sure that I wasn’t his favourite person at the best of times let alone after trashing his apartment. I walked into the condo silently and gratefully crawled into bed. He’d been nice to me when he wasn’t a controlling ass, and had seemed to like me for me not for who my twin was.

I so did not want to wake up the next day; mainly because my arm hurt and I had a spectacular hangover but also because I was still unhappy with myself. I pushed all that aside and got out of bed, then went woodenly about my day in a fog. The rest of the week I pulled myself together a bit more, day by day. I guess Alex hadn’t said a thing to Barry about our incident, because Barry was normal with me Thursday morning, when we were teaching throws to the kiddies. He noticed my lack of attention and slammed me onto the ground hard enough to knock the wind out of me. When he pulled me to my feet anger rushed through me and I felt more normal, more like myself than I had in days.

“Better?” Barry asked me, smirking. So I smiled sweetly and tossed his ass on the ground with a hip throw.

“Much.” I replied. After that I was myself again, so when Amanda called me that afternoon with the theme, I allowed myself to feel good about it. This week the theme was, the geek shall inherit the earth.

When I told Barry that, I couldn’t help grinning. Barry has this super geeky shirt that reads black holes are where the universe divided by zero; I just knew he’d wear it tonight. In my world though good news is usually followed by not good news, so when Cassie called me I was prepared. The family photo shoot was tomorrow and she didn’t want me out late tonight.  I counter-offered her a chance to come out with me and dance. It took her 3.8 seconds to think it over and agree. Cassie ended up dressed in a short dress that looked like it came from Star Fleet. Me, I wanted something simple so I slipped into a satin skirt, dance slippers and a body hugging tank top; the top was the nod to geek theme:  my shirt read I heart shotgun zombie. For the first time in a long while, it was a quiet evening. Barry had told me that Alex would be picking him up again. “I’m staying longer tonight, wanted to set something up with Amanda.” I lied. “I’ll walk home afterwards.” Barry nodded grudgingly and didn’t question my evasion of a free ride. Amanda gave me a searching look when the bar emptied. “I want to just dance a little. It’s too crowded elsewhere.” I explained, a little surprised when I realized that was the truth. I’ve said it before, I love to just dance; I can put on a show with the best of them but it makes me truly happy to just dance on my own.

“Okay Orenda, just shut everything off when you’re done.” She agreed, handing me spare keys. I’d done this before so it wasn’t a huge surprise to her.

Dominic waved goodnight to me as they left. I turned on the music and let it play. I wasn’t really paying attention to the music but when one song started its flavor suited me and I closed my eyes. There was no press of bodies around me, and the club echoed empty as I moved around the dance floor. The satin skirt whispered softly as I danced and for a change I was sticking mostly to ballet. Ballet is usually too formal for clubbing and the wrong style for ballroom, but right now it was perfect. I pushed myself hard, driving my muscles into complicated movements as if this was a true recital and I was auditioning for some big dance troupe. It made me ache a little, but I know a joyous smile burst across my face as I danced because it felt good, cleansing and revitalizing. I could stop being angry at myself and just love the dance. The song slowed to the piano finish and I swirled slowly and stopped at the song ended. My heart rate was up, my skin was sweaty, I was breathing hard and I’d never felt better. I smiled to myself as I turned off the music. It wasn’t until I went to leave that I saw Alex standing there, watching me. I froze, understanding how prey animals felt.

“How come you never went professional?” he asked.

“I'm not good with being the center of attention; Cassie was always the one who liked being in the spot light for longer than a few minutes.” I answered honestly. It sounded lame to some people but had made perfect sense to me, so I’d just never pursued professional dancing. I watched him cautiously. “Still friends?”  I asked, terrified of the answer. When he didn’t respond right away, my heart hit my dance shoes but finally he nodded.

“Come on twinkle toes, I’ll give you a ride home.” He turned to the door and left. Relief gave me a case of lightheadedness for a moment. I grabbed my coat, locked up and followed. Things were awkward and tense, but at least he didn’t hate me. When he pulled up to the condo I raised an eyebrow at him; I could tell he wanted to say something, so I waited.

“Callahan, what happened…” he trailed off, unsure what to say. I looked away from him but smiled falsely.

“It’s ok Alex. Remember what I said on the balcony, I know it’s not me. You can feel better knowing it was the wine, don’t worry.” I interrupted, not wanting to hear his painstaking rejection, not wanting to hear that my lack of control scared even him.

He stayed silent for a moment so I looked over at him. He asked me an unexpected question. “Who hurt you so bad that you say that so easily?”

I laughed, “We don’t have time for that list of people.” But at his look I actually told the truth. “No one else has had to hurt me Alex; I know that there is something wrong. Inside me there is something evil and twisted that is just begging to get lose and I’m not strong enough to hold it back forever. What happened in the apartment yesterday is only a small sample of the damage I can do, just ask Barry.” I scrambled out of the car, fighting back the memories, with old wounds on my mind.

All elementals are taught to never, ever summon in an element without first having a form for it to take; a specific size of fire, my hounds, even my wings are all controlled manifestations but an uncontrolled manifestation is just power given form. The element can come in any size or intensity and it can quickly escape the control of the one who called it forward. When Cassie had been attacked by Darren I had almost killed him with my bare hands but when Barry’s family had been attacked I had used my magic. They never got a complete body count of the attackers that had hurt them, because I had burned the bodies so completely that the bones had turned to ash. That had been my saving grace because before the fire came I had used the other elements to do some truly unholy things to those assailants. I’m not good at psychoanalyzing myself though, so I tried to force the memories from my mind to sleep. I wasn’t terribly successful so it was more of a nap than actual rest and I was truly glad to be woken up a short time later.

Cassie and I were snapped to the studio by a very sleepy Edward who declined to stick around; instead I think he went back to bed. We met Zeke there; he’d shown up while it was still full dark. He was holding what looked suspiciously like a photo album on his lap. I looked at him for a long second and felt a sister’s affection for him, glad that the man who wanted to be my sister’s husband was worthy of the job.

“Baby pictures?” I asked teasingly. He grinned at me, showing fangs which made me laugh.

“Close enough, I was asked to bring in pictures of people close to me, to help ‘de-villain’ me.” He did air brackets.

“I can see the logic of that, shows that you are not some Hollywood vampire. For one thing you’re too tanned and for the second you wear jeans and t-shirts which is lacing cool.” I teased, he mock hissed at me.

Cassie pulled me into the makeup room where the artists did weird, complicated things to my hair and even weirder things to my face. When they were done, I was led to a dressing room where an outfit was waiting; I looked at the poodle skirt for a moment, then turned around and walked out in my own clothes.

“Cassie, there’s not a chance in hell I’m wearing that thing in there!” I yelled through her door.

“I figured as much. No worries Cal, they have many other outfits, I’m sure something will suit you.” I found the clothes room and was overwhelmed with options. Finally an assistant took pity and helped me out.

They’d put Zeke in a family friendly outfit; he has on gray corduroy pants and a green polo shirt. I snickered at him. “The 50’s called, they want their fashion back.” I laughed. “Though I can’t mock too much, I’m not any better.” I added, smiling. I’d found wonderfully ugly green and white plaid pants that I think were supposed to be for men, and rolled up the leg so that they ended at the knee, then I’d pulled on a black t-shirt. The assistant had kept trying to get me to change but I stuck with this.

Zeke gave me a grin. “That look is truly you Cal.” He laughed. As we sat waiting for Cass, I grabbed his photos to look through. Most were of his family and friends before he was turned. Thus far, Zeke had been alive for 55 years so my sarcastic comment about the 50s was a little more apt than I’d initially intended.

Cassie came out in a cute little yellow sundress. I could see how such an outfit looked fine on our appearance, but I still wouldn’t have worn it myself. It just wasn’t me. Somehow we looked very little alike at the moment; it was like the makeup artists had highlighted every little difference they could so we would look like ourselves. It was rather nice actually. It was pretty much the last nice thing because after that we were put in awkward, weird, embarrassing, and sometimes hysterical poses. We were shown some of the on-set photos and my favourite was one we’d not done on purpose. Cassie was kissing Zeke on the cheek giving the camera her profile, Zeke was face on and smiling, you could tell he was laughing, and I was on the other side making a funny face. I wanted a copy of that picture. The photographer wanted more than just group photos, although we did a ton of those, so while the photographer took bazillion photos of Cass, I listened to the radio and danced off camera. Cass could still see me and she kept screwing up shots because she’d laugh. I become a little oblivious when I dance, so I wasn’t aware that people were watching me. The photographer was complaining about lights and a beautiful song came on so I turned it up and waltzed over to Cass making her laugh her dorky, beautiful laugh and dance with me.

“Hey no fair, leaving me out on my own like that.” Zeke whined, so Cass and I grabbed him. She pulled Zeke close to her back and the three of us waltzed around the room. We were all having fun but the flow was ruined when Cassie stepped on my foot so we all broke apart and let the photographer start taking pictures of Zeke. By now it was noon and I’d discovered pizza which meant that they had to touch up my makeup.

I came back out to find the place basically deserted. The photographer was fiddling with his camera. “Sorry love, camera’s acting up. They’re trying to find me a good one. Just stay here until its back, and don’t ruin your makeup.” He commanded. I rolled my eyes at him but since he’d turned the radio on for me, I was nice. As I’ve said before, I can dance to anything so I didn’t care what song was on so I boogied to it and enjoyed myself. I’ve tried to do the modeling thing with Cassie and they stick me in static poses and I have to hold them. I hate it, so I was moving as much as possible now before I was forced to freeze. I heard the rumble of voices which let me know that the others were back and I’d have to stop soon so I closed my eyes for a second and ignored them, enjoying the last of the song. But when I turned to face the photographer, he was grinning at me. He’d been taking pictures the entire time I’d been dancing. “And that’s a wrap.” He said suavely. I heard Cassie and Zeke laughing at the shocked look on my face.

“I told him how you felt about modeling. Then I showed him some pictures from Faerie Tales. Dominic’s been snapping dynamic pictures of everyone. And you look great.” Cassie gushed at me. I raised an eyebrow at her but laughed.

“Whatever you say Cass, it’s your photo shoot. You can strip me naked and paint me purple, you know that.” I said jokingly. The photographer gave me a look so I pointed at him. “No, don’t even say it. Take that train of thought and just let it go; I was joking.” He laughed and we were finally free to change into our real clothes. Zeke took off to go rest; not only is he light sensitive, he also works as a night security guard; the exotic vampire has such a mundane job. Other than dancing with us at Faerie Tales, Zeke’s really a private guy.