To Be Human

Aeryn had been six years old when the world had ended. Tavir always figured that meant she was too young to remember how life was before the quakes, when the toxic mist and choking ash weren't constantly suffocating the air. There had always been the fear of Aeyaey and Raiders, but the planet itself had yet to try and kill all life on the surface, and Aeryn had distant memories of that time. A brother whose name is long forgotten laughed and the slender frame of the one called Father, who pointed out the streaks in the night sky of those few, lucky travellers who escaped the planet to go find the stars. “One day little explorer, you'll fly far past even those.” Someone had once made Aeryn that promise but a child's memory didn't provide from whom it came. They were all dead regardless. That memory Aeryn recalled all too well. It had been a normal day, then everything exploded into movement, much like a bomb had gone off except it was the planet shuddering. Akin to a dog trying to shed itself of fleas. There had been so many people screaming, so much fear and everyone Aeryn had known and loved did their best to protect the little six year old. They'd succeeded but Aeryn often wondered what it would have been life if even one other person in that family had survived. She loved Uncle Tavir but there was a dependency to that relationship that always left the younger Human feeling as if more needed to be given to repay the sixteen years he had been guardian and family. With the sensation of overwhelming pain just waiting to descend once Aeryn came up out of unconsciousness, the only thing that would force her to wake up was the need to assure herself that Tavir was alright, somehow he would need her help.

The first step to waking up and being useful was at times the hardest step. Aeryn simply had to let the pain in; letting go of that protective fog was not going to be fun. Her back was agony, the stitches from the Hunter attack that had nearly claimed her life had torn open under the barrage of blows and the skin felt hot and puffy. Her face hurt as well, lips a twist of pain as the tear in the lower one cracked and oozed. There was a thick feeling inside that indicated a moderate concussion and beyond anything Aeryn just wanted to sleep. But first she had to make sure Tavir was alright, it was her duty now to take care of him as he had always taken care of her. A long time ago Aeryn had found a way to embrace the pain and keep going. She knew it wasn't healthy to crave the pain sometimes but the rush of endorphins was addictive. As Aeryn became more aware of her pain now, focusing past it became a matter of effort and that allowed her to realize that there were others around her.

Experience trained reflexes took over at that point; Aeryn had been raised to be an ambush fighter when necessary and a coward the rest of the time. Lying topless in a room while wounded and with no recollection of who was around left Aeryn feeling extraordinarily vulnerable. The muffled, indistinct voices sounded male and the surge of panic that hit Aeryn snapped her mind fully back into her body and then she was moving. There was a searing pain that had to be the busted stitches screaming to life as Aeryn pushed hands against the floor, knees tucked in and nearly vaulted into a crouched position. The blood that started to soak into the top band of pants confirmed that the stitches hadn't lasted a full day. Eyes had a fair amount of difficulty focusing properly so Aeryn was stuck blinking owlishly at the blurred figured in front of her. The young human thought one of the voices was Tavir but before Aeryn could call out, an over abused body demanded retribution. Acid burned and churned in knotted bowels as the rapid movement prodded the concussion into the ultimate bodily rebellion; Aeryn vomited what little had been in her stomach. The throbbing pulse grinding in temples hit blinding intensity and Aeryn knew she was seconds away from unconsciousness again. Someone was sounding frantic and another was so angry but there was someone gently telling Aeryn that all was well, she was safe. Finally the darkness swam up to numb her into unconsciousness again.

Tokala wrinkled his flat nose as the stench of vomit filled the small room. The Humans Tavir and Sampson equally recoil from the small but the Pantharni was cursed with a sharp sense of smell. To the Humans, it smelled like bile, the Pantharn could smell the hydrochloric acid but he could also scent the partially digested animal jerky Aeryn had eaten earlier, and the faintest copper stain of swallowed blood. Seeming to ignore the horrible odour, Nahuel had been the one to approach Aeryn while Tavir yelled and Sampson worried. Tokala had kept the Human Tavir back as his warn Nahuel had rushed to help Aeryn. The elder Pantharni had been in situations that gave him a unique empathy for how Tavir must be feeling; any time one of Tokala's family was injured, he became less than rational. Like a few other, devastating similarities shared between their species, this one only left Tokala feeling less out of his depth because he knew how to handle that kind of paternal worry.

“Enough!” Tokala finally snarled out, using all the command in his tone he could manage. Nahuel fell immediately still and silent, and even the Humans didn't need to understand the language to comprehend the meaning. He pointed at Sampson and then made a gentle gesture so the older Human knew she was free to check on Aeryn. It wasn't until Nahuel nearly hissed at the Healer that Tokala realized his mistake in letting the younger Pantharn go to the injured Human's help initially. “Nahuel, you will allow the Humans to see to their own.” Tokala warned the younger Pantharni.

Nahuel looked at his Mentor and fought to get the muzzle off of his face. Everything had happened so fast that the Pantharni hadn't even realized he was acting irrationally. He'd helped the Human Tavir carry Aeryn from where the beating took place back to here, completely unaware of the blood matting his explorer's suit and the body hair left exposed. Tavir's fear and worry had scented the air so strongly that it was all Nahuel could smell, to the point that he worried for Aeryn because he could not smell if his friend had died. The young Pantharn had promised himself that he would see Aeryn through this and that part was losing grip on anything resembling calm. Pantharni need to keep their Word; it is an affront to their ancestors to break it, and even if Aeryn wasn't dead, Nahuel still felt the shame of having done nothing but stand by and watch while his friend was beaten into unconsciousness. Then when they got Aeryn into the room, Nahuel could finally assure himself that the young Human was still alive. Tavir had lifted Aeryn's shirt off the bloodied and inflamed skin, and Nahuel had finally smelled something off, but Tavir's panic still covered what exactly it was Nahuel was smelling. The Human elder had growled at Nahuel about needing to soak rags to help bring down the swelling and reduce the pain. In his agitation and panic, Tavir was sweating and it was the musk of the Human male that had finally prodded Nahuel into making the mental connections. Aeryn, although having been running and sweating all day, lacked that musk. It wasn't just a smell, but a scent marker attached to species and gender; so lacking it meant Aeryn was not male, or at least not solely male. The Pantharni Tribes had several different genders; Neuters that have no gender, Andros that both genders and Quasis that were capable of sliding along the gender scale in all directions. But now that he was aware of the difference in Aeryn's scent he realized that Aeryn was a female like Sampson, only much younger. The vastly different hormones they both scented with had made the association harder to grasp. But even as Nahuel had helped Tavir lay wet rags on Aeryn, trying to mentally catalogue the scent variations he caught an underlying base pheromone to Aeryn that Sampson lacked. It was subtle and Nahuel had to abandon the scent to help spread the rags on Aeryn's back. That's when he realized that the door was still unlocked, and if his friend Aeryn was female he should probably lock the door to help keep the secret.

“Female.” Nahuel blurted the Human word he remembered Aeryn teaching and stood up, heading towards the door and hoping that Tavir would decipher that that Pantharn had figured out the big secret and would help them keep it.

But that it not what happened. Even as Nahuel spoke and moved, so too did Tavir. The Human was like Nahuel's Mentor; older but by no means feeble, and the young Pantharni was surprised to be waylaid before he reached the door. Tavir had kept the more physically dominating Pantharni on the ground by pointing what had to be a type of gun at him and then Tokala and Sampson had arrived. But the damage was already done, Nahuel's instincts had broiled over. He'd been threatened, had watched his friend get beaten AFTER watching that same friend nearly die from Lampard poisoning, and all of that after crash landing on a hostile planet during what was supposed to be a simple piloting test.

Tokala could see Nahuel struggle to regain complete control of his emotions and the buried animal instincts that were coming to the surface. He respected the fact that the young Pantharn had held up so well for so long, his own discipline was frayed at the edges and he'd already gone against cultural training on more than one occasion. “Nahuel, you need to meditate, see to that.” Tokala commanded his ward, using training and routine to help them both feel more anchored in this volatile, alien land. He then looked at the Humans who were still conscience and slowly knelt down so that he was at eye level with the small and wrinkled Sampson. The next part was where things could go sideways on the Pantharni, they couldn't communicate with their agitated allies and all four of them were standing sentry duty over Aeryn until the injured party member came back again. Ruefully Tokala wondered if it would be appropriate to meditate as well and ask his ancestors to lend aid in keeping the young Human alive. Like Nahuel, Tokala would benefit from a chance to calm his mind after the last two very full days. “Please, safe.” Tokala was frustrated with the inability to converse with the elder Humans. It would do to give one of them the other Listener device, just to avoid this type of grievous misunderstanding later. The time would come soon when they'd need to coordinate an escape, and despite the Human's fearful actions, Tokala was still determined to bring his three Human allies with them. Logically he could rationalize it so that his sister, the Chieftain of his Tribe, would accept them into the Pantharni culture. Emotionally it was easier to accept that Tokala emphasized with these primitive aliens, trying to survive as best they can in an impossible world. He respected the fact that they were still good hearts despite the conditions, they would be good additions to the Tribe but only if this strange group could figure out how to communicate.

“Aeryn is fine, that's an atypical reaction to the stress, trauma and injury, but Aeryn is nothing but atypical.” Sampson spoke out loud for everyone's sake. The elder Human cleaned the filth off of the younger one in a quick, business like manner. “Is there anything you can offer to help Aeryn now?” she sounded curious but not demanding as she made eye contact with Tokala.

Nahuel was already dropped to his meditation position and with his attention turned inwards he was trusting his mentor to be guardian over his body. Tokala couldn't leave to go retrieve the field emergency kit in the room Tavir had given the Pantharni. Not that anything in the kit would work on Human physiology, it was very unlikely that he could offer assistance. And yet Tokala still found himself holding up the small metal key to their room and hoping that the Humans would figure out what he meant.

Sampson's old eyes looked at the key and then sharpened back on Tokala. “Your room key? There's something in your room that might help Aeryn.” Her voice sounded excited on the second sentence. Then, to everyone's vast surprise, Sampson hopped forwards, grabbed Tokala's face and kissed him flat on the mouth in elation. “Thank you!” The elderly woman was perfumed with gratitude and relief, making Tokala sincerely send a silent verse to his ancestors, hoping to have something that could help the young Human now. Sampson headed out without another word and that left Tavir and Tokala looking at each other in mutual shock. The kiss had been unexpected in every single way; Sampson's age, the species mismatch and culture differences, and yet Tokala was fascinated that both Pantharni and Humans had developed similar methods to express ebullient jubilation. What were the odds of a kiss being a kiss for two alien species?