Queen of Spades (House of Car...

Midnight crawled around and Salali still hadn't come home. Alice worried a bit, but since she didn't even have the large woman's cell phone number, there wasn't much she could do to settle her unease. She kept flicking her phone open to text Malcolm and ask him to give her Salali's number, but then closing it when she remembered that he would probably still be busy with Shawna. Refusing to ruminate on that fact, Alice walked into the bathroom and stared at her hair in the mirror. She wasn't a girly-girl, but knowing that her friends would see her in 'real clothes' made her want to look good. She knew she could look sexy, but she also wanted to look classy now that she wasn't a stripper. It was a little gratifying to say that to herself.

"I am no longer a stripper. I choose when I want to be sexy and when I want to be classy." she said to her reflection in the mirror. She fiddled with her hair for a while longer and still was no closer to figuring it out when she heard someone banging at the door.

There was no convinent spy hole or window to peer out of, so Alice grabbed a kitchen knife and cautiously opened the door. Salali tumbled in the door, face drenched with tears while she muttered in a language Alice didn't understand. The large woman swayed a little and Ace grabbed her by the arm and carefully guided her inside and to the couch. That's as far as Salali made it, before she toppled to the couch with a groan and a sob. The large Native curled up as much as she was able and Alice didn't know what to do to help.

"Salali, talk to me. What's wrong?" she asked, findind a miniscule perch on the couch arm that let her lean over the bulky woman and give an awkward hug pat to her.

Salali just kept rambling in her native tongue, tears streaming down her face. Ace dodged to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water. But of course Salali didn't drink it. Frantic with confused worry, Alice texted Mal without even thinking that he might be busy.

Something's wrong with Sal. She's sobbing and talking Native and won't acknowledge me.

While she waited for Mal to text back she just sat near the other woman and tried to comfort her. It's rather hard to do when you have no idea what was wrong in the first place, but having nothing better to do, Alice gave it a try.

Cn't hlp rgt now. W Shawna. Get Sal tlkin eng.  Malcolm texted back. Alice felt her frayed patience snap.

Climb off your girlfriend and come help your friend. If she doesn't get that then she's not your girlfriend she's you master. Tried talking, hugging, water, slapping and offering to buy a pony. Im not an idiot, I need your HELP.

She chucked the phone down and went back over to try and console the still sobbing woman. "Salali please. Tell me what's wrong. I'll cry with you, we'll eat ice cream and watch the Notebook just to make it a really good boohoo ok? But you have to talk to me, please?" she begged, once again wishing she knew the larger woman better. It would scandalize some to think that they'd become house mates after knowing each other less than a day. But even so they'd generally gotten along amazingly. Until now.

Alice huffed at herself, trying to think of any solution and coming up with nothing. She'd put on the tv earlier but Salali hadn't even opened her eyes to look at it, music did nothing, talking did nothing. Hell Alice was tempted to try food. Maybe baked goods were the answer, so she ran to the kitchen to see if there was anything she could bake. Nothing, Salali pretty much lived on fast food, not hard to believe when she had 50 inch or more waistline.

The door was flung open and banged against the wall behind it. Alice jumped and whirled, ready to defend her friend and home with the pitiful kitchen knife. Malcolm looked furious. His eyes were angry, his body language was harsh and stiff, like he was trying not the lash out and his jaw was clenched tight. He didn't say anything to Alice, and that was fine with her, she wasnt too pleased with him right now either. Mal closed the door more carefully than he'd opened it and walked over to the couch to see Salali. The large Native woman hadn't even moved for the aggressive enterance and he frowned down at her. She'd stopped saying the strange language clearly, instead whispering something over and over to herself.

Malcolm knelt down in front of Salali and carefully listened to what she was saying. It took a while but he eventually started to figure out the words, if not the meaning. So he repeated it back to her, everytime she whispered, he did too. Salali's eyes shot open as she spoke louder, fresh tears pouring out. With a heart wrenching sob she finally switched to English.

"He's dead!" her rough voice was ghastly with heart break and emotion. Malcolm smoothed a hand over her forehead, settling the large woman's hair and wiping tears off her face. Alice handed him the Kleenex so he could mop up some of the mess, her own efforts earlier resulted in a pile of used tissue.

"Who's dead Salali?" Malcolm asked softly.

"Honon." she replied, voice gone soft. Alice frowned, not knowing whom that was, but recognizing that tone of voice. Pure grief that only comes when a pillar of your world was unfairly torn down.

Ace crouched next to Malcolm, ignoring the unhappy look he gave her. "Was Honon family or friend?" she asked.

"Soul mate." Salali replied, reaching a hand out to Alice. Ace grabbed it and gripped it, squeezing hard as Sal did the same. "In my tribe, when two are born at the same time to different families, they are considered sould mates. Each special because they carry their own soul, and a piece of the other's. Honon was my friend. Honon was my lover. Honon is dead." Salali stated, the tears gone and her voice sounding lost. "What do I do without him?" she asked. An echo of pain flared through Alice. That'd been the question she'd asked when her father had died.

She'd been given no answer then, and over the years had searched for one on her own. She brought their clasped hands to her chest, letting Salali feel the beat of her heart. "You mourn him. And you cry for him. And when the tears run out, you remember the good times. And then you honour his memory by living."

Malcolm gave her an unfathomable look and Salali sniffed. The tears still dripped out of her eyes, but she seemed to start catching her breath. Mal finally took off his jacket and shucked his wet shoes in the corner, sitting on the couch next to Salali after she sat up.

"I'd like that ice cream now." Salali requested, looking at Alice. Ace nodded and ran to get it as Mal shot them both confused looks. But when Salali told him to help Alice in the kitchen, he reluctantly got up, as if loathe to be near her right now.

They scooped out three bowls of moose tracks ice cream and Alice grabbed the chocolate sauce from the rather empty shelves and poured it over, having already seen Salali do that by peference. The heart broken Native woman had a definite sweet tooth. When they both reached for the drawer with the cutlery, Mal jerked his hand away as if Alice were contagious.

"Alright, what the hell is wrong with you?" Alice hissed at him, keeping her voice low.

"You." he snarled back. "Everytime I listen to your advice, my relationship gets screwed up." he grabbed the spoon from her and roughly stabbed it into the ice cream, sending a scoop flying.

"Maybe it should occur to you that I'm not the problem. Is it that I give you bad advice, or is it that your relationship is what's wrong? How often do you have to compromise yourself to make her happy?" Alice demanded, turning to face Malcolm straight on. "I'm not the problem for once Mal. Usually you'd be right to blame it on me, everyone else does. But the problem here is that I make you see things you wish you could ignore. Like I said before, don't shoot the messenger. But you have to decide if you're going to be your own man or her perfect boyfriend. Because it's obvious you can't be both." she grabbed two of the bowls and went back to the couch, leaving Malcolm to fume silently in the kitchen. She hadn't meant to say all that, had wanted to keep this about being here for Salali, but his anger had provoked her own. It was like when she fought Stuart. She knew that it would hurt less if she didn't, that if she just let it happen there's be no scars. But it would have killed something inside to have done that. She understood that for some women that was their choice, but she wasn't that strong. It was fight or die for her, so she fought.

"Alright, so Howl's Moving Castle or hmm.... Porco Rosso?" Alice asked, grabbing two animes off the shelf. They sat wedged between Shawshank Redemption and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Salali had a rather broad spectrum of tastes.

She turned back to see Salai's sad eyes looking at her and Malcolm angrily spooning ice cream into his mouth. Alice couldn't bury the snort that escaped and Salali followed her gaze to Malcolm. It's really, really hard to eat ice cream and look angry at the same time. He'd already lost one scoop from his bowl, and trying to stab a soft, malleable item with a dull spoon just didn't convey the agression the way he wanted to. So he was scowling down at his bowl and carefully spooning out mouthfuls. The unexpected effect of this was that Salali laughed. Both Malcolm and Alice looked at each other, shocked. Salali just threw her head back and roared with laughter, as if his actions were the funniest thing ever. Alice put her bowl down, not having touched any of it and Malcolm came out of the kitchen. Salali was calming down, no longer roaring with laughter of sobbing through tears, and now she just looked gray and tired.

"You guys watch whatever you want. I think I'm going to try and lie down. My spirit and I need to mourn in our dreams." Salali admitted. With a grunt she heaved herself up, massive body settling with eerie silence.

"You sure you're ok?" Alice asked, understanding the need to cry alone but worried for her friend.

Salali nodded. "If you need us, either of us, we'll be here." Malcolm offered, coming to give the large woman a hug.

She left the room slowly and Alice finally collapsed to the couch, weary but wired. "Alright Ludo, Howl's Castle or flying pig?" she asked, looking at the anime covers.

Malcolm stayed quiet and Alice wondered if her earlier comments had ended their mercurial friendship. He didn't directly answer her though, instead grabbing both films from her hand and going over to the movie stand. From Salali's room they both heard muffled sobs and looked at each other. Silently their eyes communicated both their concern and their understanding that Salali needed to cry herself out. She'd needed to face the fact that he was dead and could now move on from that horrible moment and start dealing with it. Alice had stopped talking for a week when her father died, so she understood that sometimes you need to be forcably dragged out of that overwhelming feeling.

Finally Mal put in a movie, grabed his ice cream and sat on the far end of the couch. Alice curled up with her own bowl, ignoring the gaping space between them. This wasn't a small couch, and he was far enough away she could stretch out and probably not reach him. The movie was still in previews so she decided to get all the emotional cauterizing over with at once. So when she grabbed the bowls to stick them in the sink, she sat back down right next to Mal. He glowered at her.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, still angry.

"Pulling on death's whiskers." she replied. "You're worse than some of the women I used to work with." she then stated, making him look less angry and more confused. "They'd come in banged up, roughed around by their husbands or boyfriends and b**** about them. But when someone else suggested that they should leave the abusive relationship, they'd start defending it. Saying that it wasn't like that, that he really loved her, or he only did it when she'd gotten him angry blah blah blah. And everyone would tell them that it wasn't right for him to treat her that way and she deserved better. But those girls always went back with the guy. And you know why? Because they're afraid. Not that he'd hurt them worse, but because they already knew what life with him would be like. It was the safety of the known. Those women were too terrified of taking the risk and ending up alone for a while, instead they endured the abuse." Alice looked away from Mal to look at the tv as it droned on about upcoming releases. "I remember finding one of those women dead on the bathroom floor, od'ed on her drug of choice because she couldn't handle her reality anymore." She looked back at him, a careful and guarded expression on her face. "If you don't like hearing what I have to say about your relationship, then don't ask. But if you want to know, I will never lie to you." her speel done with, she shifted back over to her side of the couch.

"Hey Labyrinth, cool!" she exclaimed, deliberately drawing his attention to the tv. The ice cream was an uncomfortable weight in her stomach and she felt nauseated. It was just the emotional turmoil and she breathed through it, letting it pass.

Malcolm didn't say anything to her the entire movie. They watched as Sarah was drawn in, led around, gathered allies and eventually toppled the bad guy; neither one uttering a sound. Normally Alice would sing and boogey along while David Bowe's character did his thing on screen, but she didn't have the energy for it tonight. It was now around 5 am and she still couldn't sleep. Lurking in the back of her mind was a nightmare, waiting to pounce the moment she closed her eyes, woken from her memories. The soft sobs from Salali's room had transitioned into not so soft snores and Malcolm looked bleary eyed and dazed.

"Go crash in my room. Bed's comfier than this couch. I'm going to watch another movie." Alice instructed Mal, figuring he was too tired to argue. Boy was she wrong.

"If I'm going to sleep, I'll go home to my own bed and my girlfriend." Mal spat out, returning anger brushing aside his tiredness.

Alice took a deep breath in and carefully let it out, not wanting to heave a sigh right in front of him. She stood up from the couch and stood at the door, ready to lock it behind him. "Then go do that. Either way I'm watching a movie." she side stepped the arguement he seemed to want.

"Oh no, you got to have your little rant at me. Now you're going to listen to mine." he stood from the couch and stormed over to her. While he looked rather small next to Salali, standing almost chest to chest with Alice, he loomed over her. It was an unusual sensation because at 5'10 she was as tall as or only a little shorter than most guys. "Shawna is an excellent girlfriend. She's sweet, smart and wholesome. I can have a family with her and not have to worry that she's secretly doing drugs, seeing other men or even using harsh language. I want that life. I've been the guy that women can't take home to meet the parents, the one every one wants in their bed but not their hearts. And yeah, it's fun for a while, but it leaves you feeling cold." he grabbed her biceps, not painfully but firmly. "Is it wrong that I want to work on a relationship that has been a part of my life for almost three years?" he demanded. "Unlike you, I can't just run away from my problems."

Alice felt her spine stiffen. "Wow, you went from boyscout to ass in less than eleven words, congratulations." she tried to jerk her arm out of his grasp but he didn't let her.

"We're not done here Ace." he growled at her.

"Alright then Mal, but if you go down this path with me, you don't get to act like it never happened just to make your life easier." Alice warned. Then she kneed him in the groin. Not very hard but enough that he let her go. She slipped away from the door, wanting space at her back. "My only, I repeat ONLY perspective on your relationship with Shawna is the one you've given me. I have met her once, for all of, two sentences I think. So if my opinion is that you're not happy with her, maybe it's because that's the impression you've given me." she stated.

Malcolm rose from his guarded position, face darkly handsome in his anger. He stalked towards her, not violent, but full of edgey energy. "I've never said I wasn't happy with her!" he retorted.

Alice backed away from him, wanting to put the couch, or a table, or maybe the moon between them. She wasn't afraid of him hurting her, but she was afraid that she'd do something very, very stupid right now because his anger was undeniably HOT. "Let's review shall we?" she suggested, ticking off her fingers. "You told me how she death glared you for texting someone." Ring finger folded back under. "You told me how badly your date went when you were perfect. She's freaked out at you for no good reason." she rolled the index finger under, giving him the middle finger on purpose. "And even after spending every night this week neglecting your other duties just to focus solely on her, she didn't want you to come help your friend who needed you." she rolled down the last finger. "Sounds like true love to me." she mocked, putting her hands on her hips.

Malcolm lunged at her, catching her wrist before she could fully flee. She tried to shove him away but he managed to grab that wrist too and pin her against the wall. Her wrists were up over her head and she tried to jerk them out of his grip to no avail. For a wonder, she still wasn't afraid, in fact had a whole mob of butterflies dancing in her stomach and chest. "She loves me." he snarled down at her, glaring at her from a nose tip away.

Alice forced herself to relax in his grip, as if she let him hold her there. "Does she know this part of you? Does she love the darkness in you too?" she whispered. "Beacause it's as much a part of you as the boyscout part. And if you're burying it, hiding it away and denying it exits, then your lying to yourself and her. If she's as wonderful as you say she is, she should be able to handle the beast in you."

His grip on her wrist tightened a little. "She deserves better than this part of me." he stated, eyes still wild with the passion he normally suppressed. "She loves the part of me that is good and sweet and safe." he stated.

"And you love her for helping you pretend to be that man all the time." Alice stated, frustration coursing through her. He was so demented!

"I love her because she believes that I am that man all the time." he admitted.

"So go home to your girlfriend. Lay down next to her and watch her breath in her sleep. See the slight smile on her lips when she wakes up to see you there in the morning. Let her love and your lie wrap around each other until you're content. But don't tell me that you're happy. Because we both know you're not." it broke her heart a little to say that to him, to tell him to go to that woman. Shawna was perfectly lovely, and sweeter than maple sugar candies, but she was also in the way of Malcolm finding his inner balance.

"I am happy." Malcolm stated, trying to sound definitive.

"Say it like you mean it Malcolm, or I'm not believing it." Alice replied. He let her wrists go and grabbed her hips, pushing her back against the wall more.

"I. AM. HAPPY." he growled, tension shaking down his arms.

"You won't be happy until you feed your beast. You're a man who is hero and monster all at once. Cage the monster and the hero takes over, but eventually the monster escapes. You let them both out, feed them controlled amounts and you don't have to worry about the monster breaking free and going on a rampage. LIVE with all of who you are, take the risks you need to take and BE happy." she insisted, wanting to shake him and make him understand.

Malcolm's lips crashed against her, and she opened her mouth to the driving, hot need his lips expressed. His hands gripped her hips and she kissed him back, tasting his anger, taking it in and giving back her own. He pulled out of the kiss, his forehead resting against hers for a moment. "I am happy." he stated, not sounding so sure, but then he walked out.

Alice stared at the door he softly closed behind him, her lips swollen from the kiss and her knees weak. What the hell? she asked herself, more confused than ever.