𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑...

.❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。
𝐋𝐎𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒, 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐀

𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗡𝗔

I step into the club, the heavy music vibrating through the walls and pulsing beneath my feet. The air is filled with the scent of alcohol. The flashing lights making a glow over the packed crowd.

It's ironic—I'm late to my own party. Well, technically, Devin's party for me. He insisted on throwing it to celebrate the launch of Mirielles summer collection. It wasn't my first choice of celebration but I wasn't in the mood to argue.

Adjusting the strap of my dress, I scanned the room, already feeling the weight of eyes on me. I mean, at least I made it.

Bella is the first person I see when I walk in, and just like that, the tension in my shoulders eases. Her dark hair cascading over one shoulder as she leans in to say something to Hailey. When her eyes meet mine, a large smile spreads across her lips as she rushes towards me.

"Vi, I thought you weren't going to make it to your own party!" Bella practically screeched as she threw her arms around me, making me stumble back a step. Her perfume was strong but it didn't quite mask the sharp scent of vodka on her breath. I considered making a comment but decided against it.

"Sorry. I got stuck in traffic," I lied, the words slipping out too easily. I didn't even know why I bothered.

Telling Bella—or anyone—that I almost skipped my own party would have sounded ungrateful, maybe even condescending. Devin had gone through all this effort, and I was supposed to be celebrating. So I kept my mouth shut.

Bella pulled back slightly, pouting as she narrowed her eyes at me. Even drunk, she could tell when something was off. Sometimes I appreciated it; sometimes I didn't. Right now, I wasn't sure which it was.

"I knew something was wrong since you didn't come here with Devin," Bella called me out, making me bite the inside of my cheek.

She must have noticed my discomfort because she immediately switched gears. "I'll sober up, and we can talk about it later—only if you want," she added quickly. "But for now, go find loverboy."

I nodded as she placed a sloppy kiss on my cheek, making me grimace. She pulled away, heading toward the bar to grab a bottle of water—probably to sober up.

Making my way through the crowd, I accepted congratulations and engaged in small talk, all while keeping my focus on finding Devin.

It was obvious that he had been the one to make the invite list—everywhere I looked, it was familiar faces, all connected to him in some way.

I moved toward the back of the bar, where I could only assume Devin and his friends would be. Even though he had rented out this stunning, luxurious club, it was just like him to retreat to the most low-key spot in the room.

"Vi!" A voice called out, making me jump.

I turned around to see Gigi, her face lighting up with a wide smile.

"Gi." I smiled back as she wasted no time pulling me into a tight embrace. It had been almost a month since I last saw her, a stark contrast from the weekends we used to spend together.

"How have you been?" I asked as we pulled apart.

"Me?" She scoffed, rolling her eyes playfully. "Let's talk about you, Miss Best Summer Collection Ever."

I felt my cheeks heat up at her words, but before I could respond, a realization hit me. If Gigi was here, then he must be too.

Snap out of it I try telling myself. It's not the end of the world. I'm the one who said it was okay that he came—even after Laura and Bella told me not to.

"Vi? You there?" Gigi's voice pulled me from my thoughts. Her brows furrowed, the excitement on her face now replaced with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine." I forced a smile, but it wasn't convincing and Gigi didn't seem to buy it.

"Drink some water. You look a little pale," she said, watching me like I was some wounded animal.

"I'm fine, Gi. Trust me," I reassured her, even though I wasn't entirely sure it was true. "I just need to see Devin, that's all."

She studied me for a moment before nodding slowly. "Okay... yeah. Go do that." She motioned toward the back of the bar with a small smile. "But talk to me later. I missed you." She looked at me with a stern face, making me laugh.

I gave her a short hug before turning on my heel, making my way toward Devin as quickly as possible.

I didn't know why I felt so anxious, but I did. I never liked too much attention on me, and I thought that was common knowledge, but apparently, it wasn't. My fingers instinctively picked at my nails as I walked.

As I approached Devin's table, I could see him surrounded by people, their faces blurred by the dim lighting. The only one I could make out clearly was his. And, to be fair, I didn't really want to see who else was there.

But Devin spotted me immediately, rising from his seat before I even reached their area. As I got closer, my eyes adjusted, and suddenly, I could see everyone.

I shouldn't have been surprised to see Zayn sitting there. I was the one who agreed to let him come. But still, the sight of him would always take me aback. It was just how it was.

"You finally made it," Devin said with a smile, stepping over a few feet to reach me.

He pulled me into a brief side hug before pressing a quick kiss to my lips.

It felt... wrong. Not because I didn't want it, but because people were watching. Because he was watching.

What is wrong with me? I should not be admitting that.

"Yeah." I forced a smile, looking up at Devin as he wrapped an arm around me. Before I could protest, he started walking back toward his seat, pulling me along with him.

I tried not to let my internal panic show as we approached his group of friends. I recognized a few of them, but not well. The only ones I really knew were Niall, Louis, and Liam—and that was only because of Zayn.

The rest of the guys sitting around them were complete strangers to me.

Niall, Louis, and Liam greeted me with polite smiles, but I could tell they were strained, awkward. Meanwhile, Zayn didn't say a word, finding his lap more interesting.

Devin sat down and glanced around for an extra chair. When he didn't find one, he patted his lap, motioning for me to sit.

I shook my head no immediately.

He furrowed his brows but didn't push it.

I wanted to leave. Every part of me wanted to turn around and walk away. But Devin had thrown this party for me, the least I could do was stay with him and his friends for a little while. So, despite the discomfort clawing at my chest, I stayed.

"Congratulations on the drop, Vienna," one of Devin's friends, someone I didn't recognize, said as we settled in. I took a seat next to Devin, offering a polite smile.

At that, Zayn's head snapped up, his brows furrowing as he looked straight at the man whose name I didn't know. I knew exactly why.

"Thank you," I replied, then added, "And, uh, Vi is fine."

From the corner of my eye, I caught the slight smirk tugging at Zayn's lips. I internally scoffed but refused to acknowledge it.

Their conversation carried on, everyone chiming in with their congratulations before moving on.

Devin shifted closer, bringing his chair nearer to mine. His voice was low, meant only for me. "You good?"

I nodded, but when I turned, I was met with his disapproving glance. Rolling my eyes playfully, I leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to his lips, making sure no one was paying attention.

Well, almost no one.

As I pulled away, I felt a lingering gaze. My eyes flickered up just in time to catch Zayn looking—before he quickly glanced away.

Devin didn't seem to notice, but I did. And it irked me more than it should have.

I straightened in my seat, pushing the moment aside as the conversation around us carried on. Someone cracked a joke, laughter erupting through the group, but I barely registered it. My focus kept drifting, against my better judgment, toward Zayn.

He was leaning back in his chair, fingers tracing the rim of his glass and his expression unreadable. But there was something in the way his jaw was set, in the way he avoided looking in my direction unless he thought I wasn't paying attention.

Twenty minutes had passed, and I was beyond words uncomfortable. The anxiety swirled in my chest, and I felt increasingly out of place. I needed Laura or Bella.

"I'm going to find Laura," I tell Devin as I rise from my chair, taking my time. "I haven't seen her yet."

Devin chuckles, leaning back. "She's probably off with Harry," he said, amused. "But hey, you can try."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Yeah, well, I still need to say hi."

Devin nodded, his attention briefly shifting back to the conversation at the table. I took that as my cue to slip away, smoothing down my dress as I walked off.

Navigating through the packed club, I actually started looking for Laura. The place was massive, but if Devin was right—and he usually was—she'd be with Harry.

I was near the back, past the bar and the VIP booths, in a dimly lit corner that felt oddly secluded. Sure enough, as I approached, I spotted them. Or rather, I spotted the unmistakable mess of Harry's curls and Laura's manicured hand gripping the collar of his shirt.

I stopped in my tracks, watching in mild horror as they made out like two teenagers who had just discovered the concept.

My lips pursed, debating if I should turn back and pretend I'd never seen anything. But no, I came here for a reason.

I cleared my throat, and that startled Laura so much that she nearly smacked her head against the wall. Harry let out an unintelligible noise that sounded like a yelp. They both turned to me, looking dazed and, frankly, a little guilty.

"Vi!" Laura breathed out, straightening her dress and smoothing down her hair like that would erase what I'd just witnessed. "Hi."

I slowly nodded.

"Hey, Vi." Harry ran a hand through his curls, his dimples flashing in a sheepish grin. He was quiet for a few moments before saying, "Happy launch?"

I smiled at his antics. I missed him sometimes. The only reason I'd even known Harry was because of Zayn, and now that Zayn and I were over, I barely saw him—despite the fact that he and Devin were friends.

"Yeah, thanks," I deadpanned. "So, are you two just... making out in corners now? That's a thing?"

Laura groaned, shooting me a glare. "God, you sound like Bella."

"That's because I am Bella right now. Just slightly less judgmental and significantly less drunk."

Harry laughed and excused himself after saying goodbye to Laura. Even though I teased them, I had to admit, they were cute together.

Once Harry left, she studied me for a moment before sighing. "Do you want to leave?"

I was shocked at how fast she could tell how uneasy I was. It was truly a gift Laura had, and it never failed to surprise me. But still, I tried to convince her otherwise, though didn't know why I bothered.

"What?" I said, scoffing. I'm fine."

Laura gave me a look—the kind that made it painfully clear she didn't believe me. "Vi," she said flatly.

I sighed, rubbing a hand over my forehead. "I promise I'm fine."

She tilted her head, unconvinced. "You know you didn't have to stay just because Devin planned this, right?"

I nodded, even though I didn't completely agree. "I know. But I wanted to be here."

Laura raised an eyebrow. "Did you?"

At this point, I was completely annoyed. Everyone had been asking me if I was okay, and frankly, I wasn't. My anxiety was through the roof and I wanted my mom.

"Can you stop?" I finally snapped at Laura, instantly regretting the words the moment they left my mouth. But I didn't take them back. The frustration had built up too much, everyone was asking me if I was okay and I was sick of it.

Laura looked taken aback at my sharp tone, her eyes widening slightly. She opened her mouth, about to say something, but then quickly closed it. Her expression shifted from surprise to a more serious one. "Okay, well sorry for just asking how you were," she said, her voice tight.

"I told you I'm fine, and you're pressing the topic," I bit back, my voice growing more clipped. I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm serious, leave it, Laura."

She scoffed, "You could be a little less rude," she shot back, her eyes narrowing as she crossed her own arms.

For a moment, the space between us felt very uncomfortable. My stomach twisted, but I didn't say anything more. Instead, I glanced away, my eyes scanning the crowd as I tried to calm the beating of my heart.

There was a long silence before Laura let out a small sigh, clearly not liking the way things had gone but not quite sure how to fix it either. I could feel her gaze on me, but I refused to look at her, too angry and embarrassed to meet her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, breaking the silence, but not fully looking at her. "I didn't mean to snap."

Laura didn't respond immediately, and for a moment, I wondered if she was still upset. Finally, she sighed, crossing her arms as she studied me. "It's fine, Vi. I just... I worry about you."

"You don't need too."

Laura exhaled, her gaze steady on me. "I don't know, Vi. You've been drowning yourself in work, and it seems like you're stressed out all the time."

I bit the inside of my cheek, her words striking a little too close to home. I wanted to argue, to tell her she was wrong, but deep down, I knew she wasn't.

Still, I shrugged, forcing a casual tone. "I've just been busy."

Laura scoffed, crossing her arms. "Vi, you barely sleep. You're always either working or pretending everything's fine when it's not."

I let out a slow breath, tilting my head back slightly. The last thing I wanted tonight was another person pointing out how out of sync I felt. "Laura, I appreciate the concern, but as I said, I really don't want to do this right now."

She studied me for a long moment before shaking her head. "Fine. But at some point, you need to stop running from whatever this is."

I stiffened, her words cutting deeper than she probably intended. I wasn't running—I was just... managing things. Keeping everything in control.

At least, that's what I told myself.

Laura sighed, her expression softening. "Look, if you want to leave, I'll come with you. We can go back to your place, order food, watch some terrible reality TV—whatever you need."

For a second, I considered it. The thought of curling up on my couch, shutting out the world, sounded tempting. But another part of me needed space. I needed to be alone.

I shook my head. "I think I just need a minute to myself."

Laura hesitated, clearly reluctant, but eventually, she nodded. "Okay. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

I gave her a small, grateful smile, watching as she disappeared into the crowd.

As soon as she was gone, the weight on my chest felt heavier. The music, the voices, the flashing lights—it was all too much.

I needed air.

Without another thought, I turned and made my way toward the exit, slipping past the crowd until I finally stepped outside into the cool night air.

Finally, I could breathe.

But the sound of another person exhaling caught my attention.

I froze for a second, my pulse quickening as I turned toward the source of the noise. Leaning against the side of the building, just a few feet away, was Zayn. A cigarette dangled loosely between his fingers.

His gaze flickered to me, his expression blank, but there was something in his eyes, something knowing, like he'd been expecting me to come out here too.

I hesitated, debating whether to turn around and walk back inside, but the thought of the stifling club made my stomach twist. And besides, running away from him wasn't an option—not anymore.

So instead, I crossed my arms and leaned against the cool brick wall, keeping a careful distance between us.

Zayn took a slow drag from his cigarette before exhaling the smoke into the night air. "Didn't think you'd actually come."

I jumped at the sound of his voice, surprised he was even speaking to me. Frowning, I asked, What?"

He tilted his head slightly, eyeing me. "Your own party. Thought you'd find a way to bail."

I rolled my eyes, letting out a dry laugh. "Well I'm here. I wouldn't do that to Devin."

He hummed in response, like he wasn't surprised. Silence stretched between us, filled only by the bass thumping from inside.

It wasn't awkward silence though, it was comfortable silence. The kind of silence that didn't need to be filled, where words weren't necessary to understand what the other was thinking.

"You're out here and not inside, so I'm guessing you'd do that to him," Zayn shrugged, breaking the silence.

My eyes widened as I turned to him in shock. "Excuse me?" I scoffed, my arms crossing instinctively.

My initial shock quickly morphed into irritation. Who was he to make assumptions about my relationship? He lost that right a long time ago.

Zayn barely flinched at my reaction. He tilted his head slightly, looking at me like he was trying to figure something out. "Didn't say I was assuming," he said, voice low. "Just making an observation."

I let out a sharp breath, turning away from him as I gripped the railing tighter. "Well, your observations are wrong."

Zayn didn't respond right away, and for a moment, the only sound between us was the distant thrum of the club's music and the occasional car passing by on the street below. Then, in a quieter tone, he spoke again.

"If you say so."

I clenched my jaw, refusing to look at him. If I did, I knew I'd see that familiar knowing look in his eyes—the one that always made me feel like he could see right through me. And the worst part? He probably could.

The wind blew, something refreshing to the heat of my overstimulated body. I closed my eyes, tilting my head back against the building, letting the cool air calm me for a moment.

Thankfully, we were in a secluded area, away from the crowds and the prying eyes of paparazzi. No one could see us.

I could hear Zayn inhale, the sound of him pulling in the smoke, before exhaling it slowly into the night air. My eyes flickered to his hand, where the cigarette dangled lazily from his fingers. He must've noticed where I was looking, because he glanced down at the cigarette before lifting his hand and offering it to me.

I hesitated for a moment. I don't usually smoke, but today had been stressful—everything felt like it was piling on at once, and a small rebellion felt tempting.

But then the rational part of me kicked in. No. You're with Devin. That basically qualifies as cheating, Vi.

I swallowed the thought, my fingers tightening around my phone instead. "I don't do that."

A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. "Still pretend you don't?"

I scoffed, shaking my head. "I don't pretend."

Zayn took another drag, watching me carefully. "Right."

It was stupid how easy it was to fall into this—this back and forth, this unspoken understanding that we always had. And yet, it felt different now. More complicated.

I shifted on my feet. "I should probably go back inside."

He nodded but didn't look away. "Yeah."

I didn't move. Neither did he.

And for a moment, it was just us, standing there in the quiet, breathing the same night air, pretending this wasn't exactly what we both expected to happen.

However I finally pushed myself off the railing, ready to go inside. Just as my fingers brushed the cold handle, I heard Zayn's voice again, this time softer, a little more thoughtful.

"Vienna," he called, and I turned slightly, my body tense as I waited for him to continue. He took a breath  slowly before speaking again.

"About the other night," he began, "I've thought about it, and... I'd rather be friends than nothing."

The words hit me harder than I expected. I froze for a moment, letting them sink in. It wasn't what I wanted, but maybe it was what I needed.

I didn't know if I was ready to go back to pretending everything was fine, but the idea of easing the tension between us felt like a small, necessary step.

I swallowed hard, turning fully to face him. "I don't want things to be weird, Zayn. I really don't."

He nodded slowly, his eyes locked on mine, as if he was waiting for my reaction, as if he was still unsure. "Good," he said, his voice quieter now. "Me neither."

I finally gave him a small smile, my expression softening. "I guess... we'll figure it out then."

Zayn didn't say anything else, but I saw the faintest trace of a smile tug at the corner of his lips.

I turned back to the door, reaching for the handle again. This time, when I pulled it open, I wasn't feeling stressed out like I was before.

©𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞