Marriage Under Repairs

"Sanskar"

Sujata's astonished tone made Swara turn back to see her husband standing on the stairs.

Just one look in his eyes was enough for Swara to know about his inner turmoil. He blinked his eyes to forcefully push back tears formed. He gulped looking everywhere but not at the ladies of his house. He turned and left upstairs taking fast steps.

"Sanskar" Swara called him from behind and left.

"Jiji, what did you do? You know very well how much distance has come in the relationship between those two. Still you broke such a sensitive topic." This time it was Sujata who criticised.

"Sujata, I know what is happening between those two. But I strongly feel, with the arrival of the baby their relationship will be strong as before." Annapurna tried to convince.

'I don't feel so Jiji. It will over complicate their relationship.' Sujata thought, shaking her head in negative still staring at Swara and Sanskar who were climbing stairs.

'I have to talk to Sharmishtha ji to convince Swara.' Annpurna stood strong on her stand. 'I hope my family will be back together like old days, for this Sanskar needs to become normal.'

Sanskar entered his room followed by Swara. He loosened his tie but her touch over his fingers pass shivers down his spine. Swara raised her eyes to look at his trembling state. He passed a quick glance at her but started looking everywhere.

"Whatever decision will be taken will be of both of us. Just two of us. No one, other than us, will have any say in that decision. I can promise you this Sanskar."

Swara knew she needed to give assurance to her husband. She had been making decisions about their relationship single handedly in the back which turned into her own blunders. This time she was adamant to not repeat her own mistakes.

"Are you sure?" he mumbled, not moving his eyes from her determined face.

He knew his wife for her family always comes first.

And for him, she matters the most. More than any other thing in this world. More than his own life.

"Yes I am." She smiled, her smile stretched his lips as well into a small smile. "It's not like I don't want a baby, I also want but not right now. I think it will be too early for both of us to take this major step. What do you think?"

"Yes, you are. Right. We should wait. Baby is a very big responsibility." He agreed and continued, "But Badi Ma and Mom...?"

"Don't worry. I will talk to them."

"Ok. But if they pressurise you, please tell me, I will handle it." He spoke so tenderly which set Swara's heart on the racing track.

'He is always there for my support.' just a thought, and her cheeks started competing with tomatoes.

Even today after nearly 2 years of their relationship, even after a long separation of six months, even after both were fighting with their own insecurities and trust issues, his one caring gesture could affect her this much, it was a treat to his eyes.

"I will get your coffee." She bit her lower lip, looking at his shining eyes fixed on her blushing face. For sure, she needed a reason to escape from his intense gaze.

He nodded his head before moving to the washroom.

'Thank you Durga Maa, I hope, we will be together again like before.' She prayed mentally stepping down from stairs.

A week later Swara had gone to visit her Dida's house. It was her Dida's monthly death anniversary, time to pay tribute to her lovely grandmother for her unconditional love for her.

Swara cleaned the house, put garland on her grandmother's photo and lit the diya when Sharmishtha stepped inside with a bowl filled with Dida'a favourite rasgulla and Ayush in her embrace.

Both mother and daughter joined their hands in front of Dida's picture.

"Ayush, join your hands. She is our Dida." Swara taught her 9-month- old brother.

Later, mother and daughter settled on a nearby couch where as Ayush was playing surrounded with his toys on the floor.

Swara observed her mother and brother. Ayush has started to stand on his feet with support. And looking at his activities she for sure knew her brother would be one of the naughty kid, they would be facing soon.

"Ayush, what are you doing? Sit here and play." It was the 10th time Sharmishtha ran behind him which earned a small giggle from Swara. "This boy makes me run after him for the entire day."

"Ayush please don't trouble our Ma. Look at her, she is so tired now." Swara took her brother in her laps. Meanwhile Shekhar gave a call to Sharmishtha.

After the call, Swara asked her mother about her father, "Baba is doing grocery?" It was more of a question than a statement.

Earlier she had observed all household chores were her mother's responsibility. But a recent conversation between her parents surprised her.

"Yes, after Ayush, Shekhar started helping me a lot in routine household work." Sharmishtha provided her with additional information. "Infact, thanks to Ayush, because of him, now Shekhar backs me whenever your Dadi tries to plough a seed of misunderstanding between us. Because now he knows we have a responsibility to Ayush. If there is a rift between the family it will affect our son. Our son has binded us in a strong relationship." She kissed her son's forehead lovingly.

"Shona, you and Sanskar should think about the baby now." Sharmishtha broached sensitive topics carefully. Annapurna had already passed on responsibility to her.

"Ma?" It was not expected for Swara to face confrontation from her own mother. 'Doesn't she know what has happened between me and him?'

"Shona I know you and Sanskar are going through a tough time in your relationship but think about it. The news of baby will bind you together in a closely knit relationship. Your marriage will flourish in this new phase. Just take mine and Shekhar's example. With Ayush's entry in our life, our relationship has become more stable and balanced."

"I don't think so Ma." Swara nodded her head in negative after a long thought.

"Shona think about you as well, how could you forget? Because of you only me and Shekhar could unite. Our child brought her mother and father together."

"Ma it's not like we don't want a baby. Yes, we both want a baby but this is not the correct time. If you think the relationship between me and Sanskar will flourish because of the presence of a baby, then that relationship will become a canker sore for both of us." Swara cleared her stand.

"Shona, trust me. Because of the urge you had to unite your mother and father, today I and Shekhar are together." Sharmishtha put all her efforts to convince her daughter.

"Ma I don't want my baby to step into this world with a huge responsibility to keep his or her parents together from day one. It will be harsh for that little life. Our baby should step into this world with joy as a blessing. Our baby will come into this world as a symbol of his or her parents' strong bond, our unconditional love instead of shouldering any burden to keep them united." Swara's voice turned determined, somewhere she could relate her own lonely struggling childhood with the current scenario. Nobody knew the craving her little innocent heart had for family in her young age.

But her words baffled Sharmishtha. She had never expected Swara's inner turmoil.

"I didn't know, me and Shekhar burdened you all these years. We are sorry to burden you with our relationship." Sharmishtha voiced out her inner thoughts agonisingly. Her eyes filled with tears, she wiped. She picked up Ayush from Swara's lap and left without any single word, leaving her daughter alone.

"Ma, you are taking it wrong." Swara called from back but her words fell on Sharmishtha's deaf ears.

Swara kept on staring at her mother's back. 'Why can't you understand me, Ma?'

It was afternoon when Ragini was talking with her grandmother, Parvati over a call when she saw Laksh returning from office. He threw his jacket in annoyance and laptop bag on the couch before slumping down on bed.

"Dadi, I will talk to you later." Ragini interrupted her Dadi over call looking at her husband's irritated face.

"Laddoo what happened?" Parvati asked from the other side.

"Dadi, Laksh came back just now. He looks upset. I will talk to you later." Saying this Ragini cut call before even waiting for her grandmother to come up with another question.

"Laksh what happened?" Ragini massaged his forehead.

"Nothing."

"I know something has happened in the office. Tell me." Ragini stressed.

"Papa is upset with me as he feels, I messed up things with Mehta's deal." Laksh was peeved off.

"But I trust, you will figure a way out." she did not find courage to extend their conversation looking at his sore mood.

But during dinner time Durgaprasad Maheshwari voiced out his concerns. "Laksh, you should have consulted with me or Ram before cancelling Mehta's deal."

His statement earned every bit of attention from Sanskar. 'Laksh and his impulsive decisions.' He shook his head lamentably.

"He is our old supplier." Ram seconded his elder brother.

"I know Chachaji but he was charging us way more than market rate. We can get any other suppliers at a much lower rate and it will give us profits. I had talked with him once about the new proposed rate but he declined my proposal." Laksh tried to put his point on the table.

"But Laksh, Sanskar had already finalised the deal's terms and conditions. What was the need to cancel it at the last moment when we had a go ahead from all stakeholders?" Durgaprasad was not the one who would take any nonsense reasoning.

"As per those terms we would be getting the price rate fixed for one year but when we can benefit as per market fluctuation why can't we take advantage of it?" Laksh passed a quick look to his elder brother who was engrossed in his food. "Bhai, what do you think?" he asked carefully.

"You have a point, Laksh." Swara observed her husband was least interested in further discussion. He nodded without a thought, much unlike the Sanskar she knew over the last two years.

'I seriously don't want to get dragged into this. I don't want to make Swara upset by contradicting Laksh.' He shook his head passing a quick glance at his wife from the corner eye who was staring at him without a blink.

"What are you saying Sanskar? We have already got the go ahead from the board of directors. What are we going to answer if we cancel it?" Durgaprasad felt disappointed with his nephew's aloofness.

He continued in a little louder voice turning his attention towards his son, " It is senseless to go ahead with fluctuating market rates at the current situation. Do you even know how the market is volatile? It is expected that market prices will go up due to the upcoming recession. Sanskar had done proper market study before locking the rate and you...? Plus, Mehta's are our trusted suppliers. They had stood with us in our difficult time. Also, no one can match their raw material's quality." Durgaprasad raised his voice.

"But Papa if we compromise on quality an..."

"I don't want to listen to anything Laksh. I want you to get this deal signed off on all the terms and conditions finalised by Sanskar." Durgaprasad gave his verdict putting full stop for discussion. "You are still naive in the business field, Laksh. You need to learn a lot."

"Sorry Papa. Next time, I will talk to you all three before taking any decision." Laksh confessed to escape from his father's scoldings.

Ragini stared at her husband who had dug his head in plate. She felt offended by the recent heated conversation.

"Swara, can you please ask Sanskar to help Laksh?. He is in tension with the deal Papaji mentioned over dinner." Ragini asked her sister when she was ready to leave for her 'Me time' with her husband on the terrace.

"I cannot guarantee that Ragini. Sanskar is very busy these days." Swara replied, shrugging her shoulders. She had decided to maintain distance from the issue as she had already observed Sanskar's cold reply to his brother.

'He is not interested in fixing blunders created by his own brother. And, I should not pressure him to do anything against his wish. I should respect his stand.' She had concluded.

Her phone beeped with notification from Ram, 'Beta don't talk about deal with Sanskar.' Ram was cynical about his daughter in law, she was always a person who wanted to fix everyone's problems.

Swara smiled while replying, 'of course not Dad.'  And she received a smiley in reply from her father in law.

For Swara it was the end of the topic but not for Ragini, she was noticing worried lines on her husband's forehead. He immersed himself in his office work to sort out the blunder he did as per his impulsive nature.

"Laddoo what had happened that day?" Parvati asked her granddaughter when she was on her visit to Badi.

Ragini explained details to her Dadi. "I hope Laksh will be able to get this deal signed off."

"Why don't you ask Swara to talk to Sanskar?"

"I asked Dadi but she said Sanskar is busy these days." Ragini huffed.

"Is he so busy that he doesn't even have time to support his brother?" Parvati twitched her nose.

"Dadi, Sanskar and Laksh are not on much talking terms. Everyone in the house can feel the cold war between them. Sanskar has not forgiven Laksh for his past mistakes." Ragini gave an idea about their family matters.

"But Ladoo, it's been almost 3 months now. Why so much anger, that too with his own brother?"

"Dadi, Sanskar doesn't talk much to any of the family members. He keeps himself busy with office work." Ragini replied.

"Isn't it strange, he can accept his wife when she left him but cannot forgive his own blood." Parvati found perfect timing to fill her granddaughter's ears.

"Papaji was so angry with Laksh." Ragini was still engrossed in her thoughts.

"Laddoo, in office does all things are handled by Sanskar?" Parvati asked inquisitively.

"Yes Dadi. Sanskar takes care of everything that's what I know. Papaji, other day was telling all of us that he handled everything very efficiently in everyone's absence during those 6 months."

"But Ladoo, this should be alarming for you and Laksh."

"Why?"

"What if he had got all the business, house in his name? And because of this now he doesn't need his family." Parvati widened her eyes, her selfish heart filled with concerns for her Ladoo.

"Dadi, you don't even think about anything before you speak." Ragini snapped.

"So you tell me who has a voice in the office? Right now, you were saying that Laksh cannot do anything on his own. Before taking any decision, he must take the permission of his own elder brother. Will he live on the pieces thrown by his brother for the rest of his life?" Parvati was adamant on het own stand.

"Dadi, please, nothing like what you are talking about will ever happen." Ragini shrugged off.

"Ladoo you are very naive in this. You don't understand how cruel this world turns when it comes to power and money. Already, you and Laksh doesn't have good reputation in Maheshwari House because of your past. Durgaprasad ji, will never hand over the responsibility of the whole house to both of you in current circumstances unless and until you both proved yourself."

"Earlier things were different, Adarsh ​​was the elder son of the house but now there is Sanskar, resulting, Swara to be the elder daughter-in-law of the house. Durgaprasad ji has already called Swara as his daughter." Parvati always felt jealous over Swara's position in Maheshwari house. She wanted the same for her granddaughter.

"Sanskar and Laksh are brothers." Ragini was firm.

"Cousins to be precise. And what if he is blaming Laksh for all the chaos that happened? He might have grudges against him." Parvati made her point. Ragini turned alarmingly when Parvati hit sore thread of het heart.

"Dadi Swara is my sister. She will not let Sanskar do anything against Laksh."

"Correction. Step sister and sister-in-law." Parvati's words earned every bit of Ragini's attention. "You only tell me you didn't find any differences between Swara in the last few months. She has changed a lot. That day I heard Sharmishtha was telling Shekhar how she bluntly replied when she was trying to convince her to have a baby."

"She has changed, Dadi. I feel her reserved nature these days. She hardly has any time with me. She doesn't even help me if I need her besides me." Ragini remembered her days with her sister.

"I am telling you Ladoo, her love for you, SWARAGINI bond, this everything was just a facade. In fact, I think that fight, separation, tears, everything was fake. They just wanted to manipulate everyone so that everyone considered them as great and they could name all property and money in their name. Now since everything is happening according to their wish, they are back together." Parvati was successful to plough a seed of mistrust in Ragini's mind again.

"You should convince Laksh to build his own career just like Sanskar has. If he has his own company like Sanskar then automatically you will have respect in that house just like Swara."

"Also, Ladoo, it should be you who will give the first heir to the Maheshwari family. The moment your mother in law gets to know about the news she will adore you more than anything in this world."

Later, Ragini returned back to her home but her grandmother's words were revolving around her mind.

In Swara and Sanskar's room, Sanskar was busy with his one office call after dinner. There was some urgent issue which needed his attention due to which they came down shortening their 'Me time.'

Swara was looking for her iPhone charger. "Ohh I forgot it downstairs." she talked to herself.

She thought to go down and get it but then an idea popped in her mind to use Sanskar's charger. She knew he always kept it in his night stand first drawer. She opened it to get the charger but her eyes fell on a few packets of tablets. Two were unused but there was one which was almost empty. She knew his vitamins tablets but these did not look familiar to her. She googled the name of the tablet and the results took the floor beneath her. She slumped down on the bed holding the tablet in her hands.

Sanskar finished his call and entered his room to see standstill Swara sitting on bed with a blank face.

"Swara what happened?" He took steps towards her when his eyes fell on the packet of tablet in her hands. Those were his anti depressant pills which he used to consume during their separation period to combat loneliness.

He sat beside her, she felt his presence which made her turn her eyes towards him. She gaped like a fish, she had so many things to ask, to confess, to apologise but her vocal cords could not find their voice.

She couldn't take the pang her heart felt in that moment. Her heart was broken into thousands of pieces. She cursed herself a million times for her terrible decision to leave him. Never ever in her wildest of thought she had imagined to see him in his vulnerable state. Tears started rolling over her cheeks. She felt breathless.

"Sor... I am...Sansk"

Sanskar knew how much broken she would be with recent revelations. He knew, whatever happened between them was enough to fell them apart but the love they shared was always alive with every heartbeat.

He wrapped his hand around her shoulder to pull her in his side embrace. Feeling his warm touch after almost 9 months, Swara  buried herself in his chest crying bitterly.

Their arguments, their fight, their misunderstanding, their hatred, their insecurity, their trust issues everything was streaming over her cheeks in the form of her tears. Sanskar pulled her closer, covering her face with his free hand.

"Swara, please don't cry." he mumbled, controlling his own tears. Her tears were always his weakness.

"Let's leave the past behind." He pulled up all his courage to voice out fighting against his own insecurities.

But his soothing words were not acting as remedy for her scars. They were open once again.

Time passed but both stayed in the same position, holding each other without any word but crying over their own mistakes.

Later, Sanskar felt Swara slept tiredly after crying for a few hours. He made her sleep properly on the bed and settle beside her. But, today, she clinged to him, keeping her head on his chest. He did not gather courage to push her fragile body away from him. Even he was craving to hold her close to his heart like before.

He kissed her forehead. "Love you." he mumbled against her skin.

He felt her lips stretched in a small smile even if she was in deep slumber.

Finally after 9 months of waiting, two soulmates slept in each other's embrace in peaceful sleep.

****
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