Healing Harry Potter

Chapter 3

Published: 4/24/2021

Having Harry calm down and keeping him calm were two entirely different things, Draco deduced, as Harry went from quiet to agitated in seconds flat. Periodic mood swings, he added to the list in his mind. Draco knew he needed to develop his own assessment of his condition, as the file that Laura handed him through the door was thicker than any he had seen. He had settled in for the room as Weasley and Granger had babysit Potter 24/7, he concluded that it would be unwise to break that protocol without at least a few nights of observation first.

Potter didn't seem to be offended or agitated by his presence, nor his observation. With his mates with him every minute of the day, he was probably used to it. Draco spent the rest of the day arguing with Harry about eating, taking Nutrient Potions and keeping up small talk with him. Potter made no task easy. Draco knew that his recovery would take a long while, but there was nothing he saw that indicated that Potter was beyond help.

Unfortunately, Harry had many panic attacks that Draco had to navigate through without the help of potions, spells or touching him. He also wanted to avoid using Occlumency every time Harry had a minor attack. It was the art of negotiation in most cases. He trickled in plenty of their schoolboy antics to keep Potter engaged and in the present, or at least not thinking about his captivity and torture. He was making headway in getting him to open up, and he had started sorting the areas of concern and facts he had gathered so far in his head to develop a treatment plan.

First, and arguably the most concerning of all, was Potter's wandless magic. Wandless magic isn't anything new, however, it comes from two primary places: skill and accidental magic. Most children grow out of accidental magic by the time they are of age. The accepted theory is that their magic is developing, so their core still is in a malleable state. Once temperament and restraint set in, tantrums and outbursts of magic disappear altogether. In fact, it is incredibly rare that an adult is able to unconsciously, or even consciously, do wandless magic.

When someone is being tortured or attacked, they don't "throw" off their attacker, like Potter did to Laura. Even in cases of a sudden attack, people can't just freeze or incapacitate their attackers and walk away unscathed. Potter never showed any ability whilst imprisoned by Draco's father, nor during the war or at school. He was concerned that if his core was "cracked", then Potter would never be able to control his wandless magic and therefore, would be doomed to a lifetime of supervision.

Potter would have to have considerable control over his emotions to be unsupervised, which would be impossible with a cracked core. He was nowhere close to having any control, and why Stout and every other healer had planned him to isolate in a magic-restricting room. Draco did not want that, which is why he was concerned, as Potter did not handle confinement, especially solitary confinement, easily. 

Still, Draco wasn't convinced that permanent hospital commitment would be required, as the other accepted explanation was skill. However, it takes decades of practice, and calm focus to do wandless magic. Potter was not calm, nor focused, nor significantly aged, which is why everyone had dismissed it. Draco didn't. Potter was a strong and powerful wizard. There was nothing random about his "accidental" magic. Things didn't randomly move or explode. He didn't hurt Laura when he blasted her into the wall. Potter didn't send him across the room if he moved too quickly.

No, his magic, as accidental or unconscious as it appeared, was really neither. His restraints Vanished. He wanted to be free, so he was free. Laura was raising her wand, then she was knocked to the ground. His friends said that he could bypass wards and walk through walls... and that was no accident. Having spent five years without his wand, Potter must have adapted and that meant his core wasn't cracked. He was almost sure Potter was able to do magic, any magic, at will or at least to some degree of conscious effort. That meant he wouldn't need to be supervised for the rest of his life.

However, then came Draco's second-biggest concern: the potion abuse. The goblet of unknown poison hadn't shown up, yet. Draco was extremely apprehensive about it. That potion was the barrier blocking any attempt to let Harry heal. It hurt him, it drove him to madness, and it made people touch him to try and stop him, making him more upset. Draco had a feeling that his dad had cursed Harry with something. It was sinister... cruel. A poison to appear when Harry was feeling particularly weak or maybe when the poison was out of his system.

Monkshood was pure poison as itself, but the immediate, non-death side effects include intense muscle pain and tremors, weakness and hallucinations. Things that would make everyone believe Harry was insane and, worse, make him think it. When, in fact, it was caused by the poison. An Enticement Hex or Compulsion Spell would overrun any logical reason against drinking the potion. If Harry had the hex on him, he wouldn't be able to resist it.

Draco knew his father was capable of both the curse and hex, but there had to be a third part. Harry wasn't dying, no matter how much or how often he drank it. No spell or potion could protect against constant poisoning abuse for five years. He supposed that Harry's body could be weened into accepting monkshood, but that would have taken more than a month that Lucius had him, and Draco didn't think it was possible anyway.

Unless it was as Granger said, a potion with an extreme half-life that had monkshood for the side effects and something else for the "not death" part. Draco would have to wait until the potion showed up and somehow get a sample. However, he was sure that they had tested it beyond anything he could have come up with it. He would have to drink it, with a remedy made to counteract the monkshood.

Additionally, he noted that Potter had been scanned many, many times by competent Spell Damage healers and Granger. None of them had picked up that he had a curse, a hex and whatever else was keeping him alive. That meant considerable spell cloaking, which seemed excessive. His father had shown little interest in letting Harry go, that Draco could see, but maybe this was the plan all along. Lucius didn't want to kill Potter. He wanted to destroy him.

The next issue was that Potter had gone through an extremely traumatic event for over a month. It was long enough to severely damage his psyche, and it hadn't been treated, properly, for five years. Worse, Harry had been constantly retraumatized by his best friends and healers as they tried to help him. He had bad touch sensitivity, some claustrophobia and a healthy fear of wands.

Draco was not a mind healer, but he knew how to calm patients and did a mental health rotation at Consano. He knew Occlumency and Legilimency and had managed to calm Harry down. He could try to focus his thoughts, but he wasn't formally trained on it. He didn't want to bring someone else in so soon. Harry had issues trusting people, and quite frankly, Draco was surprised that Potter let down his guards so much with him. Maybe it was that they saved each other or that he held him when he was rescued. Perhaps it was just confessing that his father had hurt him like that, too.

But Harry barely trusted him. Draco wasn't formally trained on mind healing, so he didn't know if he could help him. He could only do as he requested: no touching, no straps, no forcing sleeping. But it didn't guarantee that it would help him. Getting Harry to talk was another issue. He did lapse in silence and rocked back and forth, zoning out. Draco wasn't sure that he was stuck in a flashback, or just trying to fight it off. Regardless, his mental health was going to be a constant hindrance in his recovery. Of course, there were many potions to help control his anxiety, depression, mood swings and panic attacks, but he couldn't take any of them.

The last concern he had was for his physical injuries. Potter hadn't gone through the regenerative therapies for his nerve damage from the Cruciatus Curses. He also was covered in half-healed scars and self-inflicted injuries. Draco might not be able to heal the scars, but he can repair the nerve and muscle damage. Plus, Potter didn't appear to walk correctly and always had his head down. He probably had developed a bit of a hunchback from it.

Treatable, really, but Potter wasn't one to stay still. Some physical therapies required muscle and skeletal manipulation, which Draco was sure why they were never fixed. Potter was on a long and much-awaited road to recovery. He was able to treat him when he distracted him with the song. Patience was what was going to work with Potter, and if all else fails, Legilimency.

It was nearly midnight when he decided to try and get Harry to settle down in his bed. He was currently humming while rocking back and forth on the far corner of his bed. He didn't want to get too close to Draco. Every once in a while, he'd shudder and take a few quick breaths while looking around nervously. His arms were tight against his chest, and he wouldn't look at him. Draco went around to his side of the bed and knelt down.

"Harry? Why don't you try to lie down? You need to sleep, even if you see things that you don't want to."

"No sleep," Potter mumbled, looking away from him.

"Will you lay down, at least?" he asked.

Harry shook his head, a few times. "Coming. Coming. No sleep. Bad."

Draco frowned. He usually could understand Harry, but he was really agitated.

"Harry, sleep is important. You need to try."

"Straps?"

"No, I promised. I'll be staying here with you. I'll be in the chair over there all night. I'll help you if the bad stuff comes."

"No... bad. It hurts," he said and clawed at his healed wounds.

"Harry... pain is only a distraction. You don't need it. Hey, look at me. I mean, I know I'm so sexy that it's blinding... but...."

Harry scowled. "No, you're not."

Draco tried not to smile. "You don't think I'm sexy? I mean, I have this gorgeous hair, wonderfully exfoliated skin and a beautiful smile."

Harry glanced at him. "What's... ex-foli-e-ated?"

"It means well-moisturized, with skin potions and balms."

"Girls use potions."

"No, I assure you, men use them, too. But here I had a small tube in my pocket. Put a small amount in your hand and rub your hands together," he said, setting the tube on the bed.

It took Harry a few tries before he touched it, afraid Draco would snatch it back. Then he looked at it for a while, before opening it and squeezing a glob out.

"That should be enough. Just rub it over your hands and feel the difference on your skin. It'll be soft and smell nice."

Potter did that and spent nearly a minute smelling his hand. "Outside."

"Yes, if you read the label, it says "sunrise meadows"."

"It's nice."

"You can keep it, if you want it," he offered.

Harry looked at him for a second. "Keep? They never let me keep stuff."

"It should be fine. Just to warn you that if you eat it, it will give you a lot of diarrhea, so I wouldn't recommend it."

"I won't eat. I like the smell...."

"It does smell nice."

"I want to go outside," he admitted.

"Well, it is midnight, but we might be able to work something out in a few days," Draco said.

Harry's green eyes actually looked at him, directly. "You'd let me out?"

"After I set up Anti-Apparation wards and find a quiet place, sure. An afternoon outside would probably help you feel more at ease. We would have to find away around the no contact rule, too."

Harry slowly broke eye contact. "Lies."

"Pardon?"

"They never let me out. Dangerous."

"Are you planning on attacking me?"

"No... they said...."

"I'm not they and I'm your healer, now. If you want to go outside, I will look into it. I will make it as controlled and safe for you as possible, so you can enjoy it."

Harry looked down. "Why?"

"I'm here to help you recover, Harry. That includes making you safe, honoring reasonable requests and doing things that will bring you comfort."

"I can't be fixed. Too messed up... in the head."

"I don't believe that."

Potter shook his head back and forth and was rocking, getting more agitated. "No... You don't know. I hurt you. Cut you."

Draco was pleased that Potter's sense of right and wrong wasn't destroyed, but his guilt wasn't another problem he needed to add to the list. "And I'm fine. It all happened suddenly."

"I'll attack you, again."

"Perhaps, but you let me go. I trust that you will calm down eventually."

He shock his head, repeatedly. "No, you'll see."

Draco didn't want to argue as he was getting upset. "Harry... I want you to go over to the pillows and lie down."

Harry growled. "No sleep. You said...."

"I said I wouldn't stun you, or force you to sleep. You need to lay down and try to sleep, naturally."

"Coming."

"Harry," he said, in a sterner tone. "Please lie down."

He grumbled, but slowly moved back to where his pillows were and laid down. Draco was slightly surprised, but Harry had been supervised for the last five years, He was probably used to being told what to do. He curled up facing Draco, and Draco pulled the blankets out from under his feet and straightened them out.

"Can I put it over you? I won't touch you," Draco asked.

Harry nodded and Draco carefully draped the blankets over him. He didn't cover his head. Harry curled up, bringing the blankets in closer. Draco smiled at him as Harry stared up at him, almost with childlike innocence in his eyes. Merlin, he had to help him get over this.

"Want me to take your glasses?" he asked.

"See... coming."

Draco nodded and wondered why he kept saying coming. He sent a message to the night orderly to bring him a Stay-Awake Potion, conjured a more comfortable chair and a table, and sat down. He opened Potter's file and started reading.

"Mine?"

"Yes. I need to know what they have done and investigated so far. Am I disturbing you? Do you want the light off?" he asked.

"No... scared," he mumbled and curled up more in his blankets.

Draco got back up and conjured another blanket to lay on top of him. "Better?"

He nodded. Draco knew weighted blankets provided the patient with comfort. He sat back down and skimmed the notes from Hogwarts files. Malnourishment, neglect and bruises and injuries consistent with childhood abuse. Granger wasn't lying about his muggles either. Harry's years at school were fairly dangerous and life-threatening and a little interesting to read, but then he reached Harry's first intake to St. Mungo's.

It was gut-turning to read. The physical abuse alone... was beyond cruel. Harry had twenty broken bones from spells and beatings. An untold number of Cruciatus Curses had damaged his nerves and sexual trauma was extensive. Harry was put under for the first few days and had his first manic episode not too long after he woke up. Now, Draco wondered if it was the potion that caused it. He calmed down and recovered. They referred him to a mind healer, but he never went.

Then it was file after file of him being in and out of the hospital, usually for violent mood swings, self-harm incidents, accidental overdoses of drugs and potions, and suicide attempts. A few times, Harry was treated for sexual trauma after it, presumably from letting people use him. Draco grimaced at the images that were appearing, but it seemed like Ron and Hermione had kept him contained for the last year. Harry only lashed out at them.

Stout's notes on his prognosis were straightforward: unmanageable, uncurable, and violent. She repeatedly recommended forced-permanent commitment and restrained at all times. Luckily, Granger had fought against it, vigorously. There was plenty of references to her in the file, and initially, the mind healer agreed with Hermione. Harry would be irreparably harmed if he was tied down in restraints. Indeed, the few times that they had tried it, even for a few days, Potter was unreachable and in a constant state of panic the whole time, begging for release, if he didn't break out himself.

With his potions-use restricted, Granger argued that it would tantamount to torture to do that to him. There was no way to medicate him to calm him down. Even Draco knew that Harry wouldn't survive that. Hermione had always managed to get him out, though it was clear that St. Mungo's wasn't going to keep letting him go anymore. The mind healer, who had never had a proper session who him, was now recommending forcing commitment. Draco might have an uphill battle against it, but Head Healer Swelyn needed him. He had significant weight as a department head and as Harry's healer.

Draco read all the tests on the potion and Potter's bloodwork, and there was nothing but his original conclusion. Harry had consistently consumed monkshood and didn't die. Draco wished he could have found something cyclic in the file when Harry's mystery potion came. But it was not extremely obvious. Sometimes it was two days, sometimes four, and if he read the notes right, it appeared when there was no one else in view, which was impossible for a curse to know... maybe. It could be linked to Harry, as he thinks it into existence.

He looked at Harry. Coming, he had told him. Draco frowned. Maybe, Harry can feel when it is going to appear and hides himself, so when it appears, they don't see it to take it away. It was the best idea he had. He scribbled down a potion for Laura to fetch in the morning. He wanted to be ready. Draco spent the rest of the night added some notes of his own, and decidedly writing against incarceration. He ordered some more tests to be done that Harry hadn't received, including organ damage. Draco was concerned about the constant monkshood poisoning.

Harry stayed quiet the whole time he worked and did drift out occasionally. But he would wake up, almost immediately, with a jolt, as though determined not to slip too far into his dreams. At least he was getting some. Draco did not sleep for a moment. The Stay Awake Potion would keep him awake for the next twelve hours, and he could always take another. He wouldn't leave Harry alone until he knew he was safe with other people and himself, which according to his file, he wasn't.

When morning came, Laura quietly knocked on the door bringing in two breakfast trays and Harry's Nutrient Potion. "Got breakfast for you, too."

"Thanks," Draco said, getting up to take it from her and heard a noise behind him. Harry had rolled off the bed and landed on the floor.

"Oh, he's going for his potion stash," she said, and Draco rounded the bed quickly to see Harry taking a swig of a flask. It was half gone.

"Accio!" Draco said, quietly and the flask didn't come. He was a bit surprised, but then he had to stop Laura from going toward Harry. "No. Don't go near him."

"We can't let him keep drinking it! He goes out of his mind if he gets all of it."

"Then he does. It hasn't killed him, yet. Let me try to reach him," Draco said and got down to Harry's level.

Harry was already spasming in pain and grunting in pain. He backed into the corner, clenching the flask. It must be protected by enchantments, as Harry hadn't thrown up a shield. But now that Harry had at least some of the liquid in him, he didn't seem as desperate to drink more. Watching it happen almost confirmed the presence of both his father's curse and Compulsion Spell.

Now, he had to see how deep it went. He didn't know if Harry could be reasoned with, but there was no harm in trying. He inched closer, just out of reach of Harry, who was not happy about how close he was.

"Harry... Harry... could you hand me the flask? I need that potion, please. Can you hand it to me?" he tried.

Harry curled up further into the corner, like a trapped dog and brought it to his chest. He shook his head and trembled more. Hallucinations, pain and shaking, he recalled.

"Harry... you trust me. Hand me the rest of the potion, please. You don't need it."

Potter grunted and moaned some, but Draco couldn't make out any words.

"Harry, it's going to hurt you more... it's poison. Hand it over," he ordered.

"It's not going to work," Laura said, exasperated, and Harry tensed as she pulled out her wand.

"Laura, put it away before you go flying, again," he snapped. "He's already had some, so it might be enough."

"Enough, what?" she asked, and he ignored her.

He inched closer, and Potter shook his head. "No... no... no...."

"Harry... you don't need it. Trust me, Harry," he pleaded. You know you can trust me, Harry. I won't lie to you. I'm here to help you. Give me the rest...."

Harry locked eyes with him, and Draco took the chance and went inside his head with a Legilimens. He could almost feel the Compulsion, but it was nearly gone. The rest was on Harry to finish it, as he suspected. He pushed good thoughts through, including a gentle request to give him the potion. Harry was resisting him, but only lightly. He was afraid of it, of more pain. He was begging him mentally for a reprieve.

"The flask, Harry. Give it to me," he ordered firmly, and Harry broke eye contact. The spasms kicked back up, and he was rocking back and forth. "Harry?"

But Harry's hand slowly set the flask on the floor and slid it closer to him.

"Thank you, Harry," Draco said, as he slowly grabbed it.

Harry retreated into the wall, crying as the pain increased. Draco gave him a few words of encouragement and stood up. Laura was staring at him in amazement.

"How?" she asked.

"Carefully. There is to be no more touching of Mr. Potter, understand? Unless it is life-threatening or he has your permission. Please hurry and go get this potion from the storeroom," he ordered, handing her the sheet of paper that he had planned to give her.

"Sure," she said, looking at the paper confused, but headed for the door.

"Hurry, Laura," he ordered, and she went quickly.

Draco sat down on the floor, near Harry, who was going through the monkshood effects. "Sometimes, Harry, the only way to confirm something... is to drink it. I hope Laura isn't slow."

Harry glanced at him, but nearly froze when Draco brought the lip of the flask to his mouth and swallowed the rest. "No!" he yelled and crawled to his side.

Draco tasted the bitter taste of pure monkshood as the potion went down, immediately causing his stomach to lurch in pain. His nerves were on fire, and he dropped to the floor from the spasms. His heart was slowing down. No, there was nothing else in the potion. He was dying. His eyes went dim as his breathing slowed. He felt Harry's hands on him, crying out his name.

"Draco! No... Draco!" he wailed.

"What is going on?" he distantly heard.

"He just drank it!" Harry responded, very much lucid.

"Oh, my Merlin! Here is the potion he wanted!" she yelled, and suddenly there was another liquid going down his throat.

His heart went faster, and his lungs filled with fresh air as the potion counteracted the monkshood. He opened his eyes, and Harry was in his face, crying. Still shaking from his poison dose but nowhere close to death like he was. Harry was holding the front of his red robes for dear life.

"Draco?" he whispered.

"Sorry... didn't mean to scare you. Didn't think it'd work that quick," he breathed, still weak from the lingering remnants of Harry's torture potion.

"Are you out of your mind!" Laura yelled, beside herself, and Harry winced.

"Easy, Laura, you're scaring Harry."

"Tough shit... what if they were out, idiot?" she snapped. "I'm going to tell...."

"Yes?" he prompted.

"The head healer!" she spat and stormed out the door.

Draco sighed. At least the antidote had been particularly effective against combatting the monkshood. It should work for Harry, if Draco could get him to take it. So, he had a way to help him, now. Harry was still holding onto him and looking at his robes, shaking and crying softly.

"Harry... I'm so sorry. I needed to see what it was, and now I know. I'm sorry."

"Please, don't go," Harry whispered and put his head into his chest.

Draco had to stay some tears. Potter had connected to him. He cared about him. He trusted him. He hesitantly brought ahead to pat Harry on the head. He jerked at first, but leaned into his hand.

"I'm going to make you better, Harry. I promise you that. No one is going to hurt you, again. I will make you feel safe, again."