I stayed silent, watching him. Letting him keep going.
"So once I made sure you and the baby were okay, I went back to the office. Same old garbage. Dad breathing down my neck...." His jaw tightened. "And then—Mom called. Said she was on her way to the hospital with the kids to meet their new sister."
He looked at me again, more tender now. "I left work. Didn't even tell anyone. Just left. And when I got there... you were asleep." He swallowed. "I don't know how to explain it. But it was like standing in the middle of heaven. I sat down next to you, rested my head on your shoulder like I used to when we were younger. And you—" he smiled faintly "—you smelled like ... October. As usual, you smelled amazing."
I tried to look unaffected, but that part cut through me. 
He exhaled slowly, shaking his head, like the words were tangled inside him. "I don't know... standing there, I kept thinking of that Baudelaire's poem—Le Parfum.
'Parfum, musique et couleur se répondent.'
'Il est des parfums frais comme des chairs d'enfants, doux comme les hautbois, verts comme les prairies.'

(Scent, music, and color correspond.
There are perfumes fresh like children's flesh, sweet like the sound of oboes, green like the prairies.) 
That's what it felt like, standing there. Everything else—noise, seasons, even memory itself—was slipping away. But you... your scent stayed. Like you were sewn into the world itself."
I looked down at my hands.
"A few days later, I made arrangements. Talked to a friend. Got the plaque made. I wanted it there for her first birthday, so we could bring the kids and have a little moment, you know?"
I didn't even know how to feel anymore. The old me—the me from before—would've been over the moon about this, laughing, squealing, breathless that he was finally talking about his feelings, finally being sweet.

 But is it really sweet if he never mentioned it before? If he never thought I deserved to hear it back then? Because the way I remember that day is nothing like this pretty picture he's painting. I was tired, worn down from carrying too much on my own, and yes—he was there—but not with me. He kept glancing at his phone, checking his watch like he had somewhere better to be. It's funny how two people can sit in the same moment and live entirely different versions of it.
I looked away sacred of softening, the ache rising in my throat, and changed the subject before I unraveled. "So... do you have a job yet?"
His mouth twitched into a smile. "I do, actually."
My eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What?"
"I'm opening a dog shelter."
I blinked. "Seriously?"
"Yeah. I once told Joseph how I'd always loved animals, how I used to dream of having a pet when I was a kid, but I was never allowed. And later, when I was finally old enough to make that choice for myself, life just got in the way. I never had the time. Never had the energy.
So one day, he surprised me. He took me to visit different types of animal shelters. Suggested it could 'loosen whatever medieval sword I've apparently got lodged in my spine.' Said I needed reminding that I'm not the center of the universe—that there's a lot of pain out there, and not all of it's mine. We went to places full of cats curled up in corners, blinking slowly like they already knew too much about being left behind. We went to shelters for dogs too, with rows of wagging tails and hopeful eyes, some barking, some too tired to even try. He even found a rescue that took in rabbits, ferrets, the odd bird with missing feathers—like a whole world of forgotten lives under one roof."
He rubbed his palms together awkwardly, but his smile was genuine. "And... I kind of fell in love with this one. Found this run-down place no one cared about, made the necessary steps, and... I'm the owner now. But also the worker. Cleaning kennels, mopping floors, walking dogs... all of it."
A laugh, small but real, escaped me. "What did you name the shelter?"
"The Marigold"

...The birth flower of October.
Author's Note
Hello beautiful people!

Thank you for sticking around and being patient with me, it means the world.

For some reason, 카지노후기 isn't letting me post updates or announcements on my profile but I'm finally back, guess what? I submitted my thesis!! Finally! I can't even tell you how relieved I am. I honestly don't remember the last time I had a proper night's sleep, a nap, or even just sat down to relax without feeling guilty.
My plan for now is to finish around five more chapters from October's 온라인카지노게임line, and then get back to it to finish it completely, and after that... maybe we'll head to June. I'm letting the muse lead the way, so we'll see where it takes us 💛