"Over my dead body! And I can't die, so you'll be waiting an awfully long time!"
I couldn't take it anymore. I had to know what the hell was going on. "How do you know my name?" 
The squirrel fixed its keen eyes on me, and I felt that stare right to my bones. Those were ancient eyes, and I could tell they'd seen things from before my time – before anyone's time. 
"I've known your name since before you were born, Mackenzie," the squirrel said. "Even if it didn't have spoken form yet, I knew you when you were a figment of your mother's imagination."
"Okay," I said. I was at a serious disadvantage if Oldass the Squirrel knew my name and everything about me. "I think it's only fair that we get your name."
"And why would I give you my name?" The squirrel grinned. Its teeth shone pearly white inside the mouth of deep purple. "You feel my power over you, don't you?"
"Yeah," Del said. 
"I was speaking to Mackenzie, spare," the squirrel said, not even looking at Del. "But I appreciate your honesty nonetheless." 
"I do feel it," I said. "I'm not looking for power over you. This is all new to me. I've never experienced anything like this before. Fireballs, being chased by the police, that weird running shit I did – "
"A purple squirrel," Del said.
"Violet, stupid man. Honestly, if you're going to tag along for the ride, you're going to have up your intelligence game several notches, Del," the squirrel said. It looked oddly like Del's mother, paws crossed over its chest with one foot tapping on the ground.
"Violet, sorry. My bad."
"Yes, it is your bad. And Mackenzie – "
"Please call me Mac."
"I'm sorry?"
I cleared my throat. I didn't have to talk to people about this often because I introduced myself as Mac to everyone I met. 
"I like to be called Mac. My parents named me Mackenzie, but everyone calls me Mac. I don't see myself as Mackenzie."
"Very well. Mac. I will endeavour to remember your request. I make no guarantees, seeing as how you went into the records a thousand years ago as Mackenzie, but Mac you are."
"What records?" Del asked.
"The records! You haven't even heard of the records? Things really have deviated from anything that matters down here, haven't they?" 
"I'm not sure," I said. "I don't know how things were before. I've only been around a little while, you know?"
"I think I know," Del said. "I don't know anything about the records, but I always had a hunch all the Dungeons and Dragons stuff, Lord of the Rings, everything like that, kind of came from somewhere. Somewhere real. Like the stuff they were talking about actually happened. Maybe not exactly how they said, but they got their ideas from something. Am I close?"
The squirrel looked at Del as if seeing him for the first time. "So the spare's not so useless, after all. I'll give you close. Your world doesn't give artists enough credit. When you all started thinking 'money' meant 'good,' the writing was on the wall. I will allow your spare to stay."
"What happens if you tell us your name?" I asked. "Is it like Rumpelstiltskin?"
"That shitty dwarf that ripped himself in half when he didn't get his way? No, nothing like that. Don't believe everything you read, Mac."
"But you just said – " Del spluttered.
"I know what I just said, Spare," the squirrel said. "Even some of the magical stories are total bullshit. You need to do a better job at remembering which ones."
"My friend's name is Del," I said. "Please don't call him spare anymore."
The squirrel stared at me again, those timeless eyes digging into me all over again. It wasn't the most pleasant experience I'd ever had. Still, Del was my best friend. Even if this squirrel could destroy us with a thought or turn us both into toilet mould by snapping its fingers, I wouldn't let it keep giving Del the business like that.
"Well, well, Mac, you continue to surprise," said the squirrel. "You speak up for yourself and your barely functioning companions. A defender for all, the light of true justice guiding us to a better future and harmonious co-existence."
"I don't know about all that. Just be nice to Del, is all I'm asking."
The squirrel was silent for a long time. I couldn't tell if it was deciding whether or not we were worth the trouble. Del and I glanced at each other, and I just shook my head. 
"You are Mac. You are Del." The squirrel took a deep breath. "And I am Chandra."
I took my first 'normal' breath since we'd jumped through the window. 
"Chandra." Saying it out loud somehow made the squirrel more real to me. It wasn't like I hadn't believed in it until this point because I usually believed what I saw unless I was dreaming. Even then, I was willing to suspend disbelief more often than not, but having a name – the squirrel giving us its name without us having to trick it or deceive it or somehow steal it seemed right. "What a lovely name."
"Never been a big fan, myself," Chandra said. "I won't even tell you what it's short for. Let's just say there's not enough paper in the world to write my whole name down."
Del put up his hand. We'd been out of school for a couple of years now, and this guy still put up his hand like he needed permission to talk. 
"Just say what's on your mind, Del," Chandra said. "Although I do appreciate the polite gesture. I can't tell you the reputation you humans have for rudeness. It's legendary."
"I hope this isn't culturally insensitive – " Del stammered. 
The sirens roared to life again, like the police outside had caught our scent again. 
"Will they find their way down here?" I asked. 
"Your human cops won't," Chandra explained. "It's pitch black, and I've put a couple of extra dimensions on this room to make it impossible to even see with the human eye."
"What?" Del asked. It wasn't the most intelligent of questions, but it got right to the point. Del was good like that.
"Humans won't see what they don't understand," Chandra said. "When you killed magic, you killed your ability to see anything beyond the boring."
The room shook as something big smashed into the wall. Chandra reached into its satchel and pulled out what looked like two wristbands.
"Put these on."
I slid the band onto my arm without thinking twice. It fit perfectly and was warm to the touch. 
"What are these for?" Del asked.
"They'll help you travel across layers," Chandra said.
"Layers?" I asked.
"Shifts in perspective. Humans see in the three dimensions and refuse to accept that there's anything beyond their limited scope. There are more layers than anyone can even possibly comprehend. Even someone like me, and I've been around for a day or two."
I couldn't pretend I was even beginning to understand, but I wasn't about to disagree with the magical purple...sorry, violet...squirrel that seemed to know her way around a satchel.
"You said human cops," Del said. "Does that mean some of them aren't human?"
"And here I was thinking you weren't a dead loss, after all," Chandra said. "Of course, not all your cops are humans! You may not believe in us anymore, but sadly, we aren't afforded that luxury. You spend so much time trying to kill each other that we've got to step in and make sure you don't every now and then."
"Why are these ones after us?" I asked.
"I'm not entirely sure," Chandra said. "And that is why you have to come with me. If you stay, I make no promises about what will happen to you. You come with me, you're going to see some shit that will change your lives, and make you doubt your reality and question your sanity. Either way, it's now or never."
Del and I exchanged a glance.
"We'll go," we said as one.