He was about to say something that he had always hated when people said it to him. That he was a kid... that he was still wet behind the ears... that he had no idea what he was talking about. But Harry never was out of his element. It wasn't his ego talking, but he knew how to be an Auror at age-fucking-eleven. To see what others didn't see... to stand up for what is right... and stare death in the eye and not blink.
He sighed. "You don't need the nightmares. How many of you have even seen a dead body outside a funeral?"
No one raised their hand. Harry longed for their innocence.
"Yeah, my point. I've lost count at this point. Now, just imagine your first time is a naked, putrefying corpse. And it is staked to the floor, bugs and vermin already eating away at it, body parts thrown about the room and letters craved hideously across the exposed, bludgeoned chest of the victim spelling out Death Eater. You can't unsee that... you can't unsmell that. Now, I need volunteers for completely un-glorious admin work."
Every hand still went up. Harry was baffled only for a second. He would have raised his hand if the situation had been reversed. He looked to the Senior who worked his way through the crowd, issuing out orders to lower hands based on performance or their attitude lately. Troublemakers don't get rewards. Harry smirked. The trainees' reward was the most tedious part of his team's tasks. His training days had been long and boring, and he went stir crazy. He was a troublemaker. He always was, and got the worse assignments from it. But he also always got the job done.
Finally, Hawkins left the ranks and said, "There's your six. They'll follow orders, or they'll pay for it."
Harry stared at his old Senior, kinda surprised by the amount of... loyalty in his voice. He had been on him like flies on shit since day one of his three years of training. Hawkins nodded for him to address the trainees, again.
"Alright, when your Senior dismisses you for the day, you six form two groups and elect two team leaders. However, you want to decide. Report to the Archives exam room 4, after chow tonight and after Senior is done with you, understand?"
"Yes, Auror Potter!" they chanted zealously. It was unnerving.
"Well, that was enough of a break. I want 2 laps, now! No walking! Move it!" Senior Drill Auror Hawkins yelled and they ran.
Harry smirked as they ran out of hearing range. "I don't miss that."
"Sure, you do. You embraced any challenge, Harry."
His green eyes matched the Senior's old eyes. He hadn't expected the drop into first names. He didn't even know the Senior's.
"Yeah, you certainly tried to break me of it," he said, quickly, unsure of how to act around him, now. It was easy when it was a trainee-trainer relationship.
"I was testing ya... and you never failed to disappoint."
Harry blushed a little. He wasn't used to praise from anyone in the Auror department, especially a senior Auror. Though Hawkins had generally stayed down in training as a drill Auror, he was a 20+ year veteran of the Auror department. He trained and worked with Kingsley. Harry respected him a lot, more than all the senior Aurors combined.
"I've been waiting for you to come down and pull kids for grunt work," he said, nonchalantly.
"I haven't had the need."
"You haven't had the authority to do it," Hawkins stated, flatly.
Harry looked down, now even more embarrassed. "I haven't had my own case until, now."
Hawkins nodded. "I know. I feel abit responsible for it, too."
Harry looked at him, confused.
"I tell you what... after you solve this... monstrosity of a case, come back here to recuperate."
"You want me to be a drill Auror?"
"Of course, I do, but you wouldn't settle for that just, now. Just take a break from the politics and come talk to the kids. You'll understand...."
Harry nodded. "I can't make any guarantees."
"Harry... come back, just for a week. I'll put the request in when you're done with DEK. Just promise me that you'll come."
He raised an eyebrow. "I will."
"Good man. Don't be afraid to ask for help, Potter. Trainees need experience, too, and I know the other seniors aren't doing shit for you."
He rolled his eyes. "No, they aren't. Especially as Robards gave me this case as my last chance."
"He gave you this case as a dead end. Expect no help from him, either."
Harry was a bit surprised another senior was so openly speaking out against Robards. "I know."
"I bet you do. If you're looking for the snitch, it's Proudfoot."
Harry lifted his head. "He talks to the press?"
"He sells to the press. Has for years. Kingsley tried to helm him up, but he got off on a reprimand. Couldn't exactly fire someone during a war, right? But I imagine... if some evidence came forward... the Review Board wouldn't take kindly to a second egregious violation."
"Thank you," Harry breathed.
Hawkins put his hand on Harry's shoulder, and the tension just melted away. Hawkins was the closest thing he had had as a mentor in the Auror program. "Go get this prep. Close yer case and shove it in their face. Follow yer guts, Harry, and you'll catch DEK."
Harry stared back into the eyes of his former trainer. "Thank you, Senior."
"Go git 'em, Auror Potter," he said and gave him a push toward the door. Harry nodded and headed back to Diagon Alley, filled with some new energy.