Not very ladylike of her. 
****
The day passed relatively quickly, and soon I was leaning against Luca's car, waiting for him. Despite me having a driver he insisted we had to arrive at school together most days. He claimed it upheld our image and showed our unity as a couple. In our world, image was everything.
Luca soon exited the school with some of his football teammates, all rowdy laughter and wide grins, their presence expanding over the car park. I waved when his eyes landed on me, straightening up. 
"Hey," Luca greeted, his dark hair brushing my forehead as he hugged me. "How did your meeting go?"
My face showed the confusion I felt. "Meeting?"
He brushed past me to enter the car through the driver's seat, gesturing me to get in. "Yes, your meeting with the school counsellor. To pick up Business as an additional subject." 
I stood there for a moment, processing his words as he stared up at me impatiently. Then it clicked. 
I walked around the car and got into the passenger seat, placing my handbag at my feet. Turning my body to face him, I spoke in my most pacifying voice. "Luca, we discussed this before and my answer hasn't changed. I'm not going to take Business along with three other A levels. The workload will be too much for me."
His eyebrows furrowed. "Yes, and I told you I can help you with it and you can hire a tutor, so that's not an excuse."
"I still wouldn't be able to handle it, four A levels along with my responsibilities on the student council, tutoring and photo shoots it's too much-"
"Then drop a subject." He interrupted sharply and I reared back slightly. If someone peered inside my body, they would see my stomach was reduced to a tight bundle of nerves. Whenever we had this conversation, it never ended well. 
"Which subject would I drop?"
"Any of them," He shrugged casually, referring to Maths, Physics and Chemistry. "None of them are important for a business degree."
Here we go. "Luca, I told you I don't want to study business in university, I want to do-"
"-Engineering." He scoffed harshly, facing away from me. "Be fucking serious for once, Fallon." The words shocked me into silence but my mouth gaped open. 
Luca started the car and the engine drowned out my response as he started driving. The hurt frown on my face refused to go away as I took deep breaths to calm myself. 
The ride to my house was tense and silent. Focusing on passing scenery did nothing to slow my rapid heart beat or stop the shaking of my hands. 
Despite my parents and boyfriend's wishes for me to pursue business, I had made it clear my interest was in something else. But God forbid I go against what they wanted for me, right?
I refused to have a ridiculous amount of debt from student loans due to a degree I held no interest in. Why was that so hard for them to understand?
Luca pulled up to my house and parked in the driveway.  With the rumble of the engine gone, the silence was overwhelming, so quiet I thought he could hear my heart beating rapidly.
I kept my gaze focused outside even when I felt his on the side of my face. "We're in Year 13, Fallon. There's no time for jokes anymore, you have to be serious if you want us to both get into Oxford University."
"I am serious." My voice was no louder than a whisper. 
"No, you're not." His voice was even. "Because you cling onto this childish, stupid pipe dream of studying engineering. A degree that not only has nothing to do with our family businesses, but you wouldn't be able to handle. You buckle at the thought of doing four A levels but want to pursue one of the hardest degrees." He paused. "Look at me."
I didn't move, except to tuck my shaking hands under my legs. 
"Now."
I met his piercing blue eyes with my own, my face a perfect blank mask. 
Apparently not blank enough. "Don't look at me like that. You know I'm pushing you because I love you." He claimed, frowning.
"If you loved me, you'd support me. I always support you."
Luca lightly grasped my arm and squeezed. "I am, by telling you to get your head out of the clouds and forget about engineering. We wouldn't want your mum to know you're not taking business as one of your subjects, would we?"
The shaking had escalated from my hands to practically my whole body at the mention of my mother, but his hold on me didn't loosen. "No." The word left my mouth reluctantly. "I'll make an appointment with the school counsellor next week."
He nodded, satisfied. "Good. I'll call you later, yeah?"
And that was that.
Crushing defeat sat on my chest as I left his car, making the walk up the asphalt road harder than usual. Bitter tears threatened to spill from my eyes but I held them in. I preferred to release my emotions into the pages of my journal, hasty writing filling up blank sheets as I put my thoughts on the page. 
The shaking of my hands slowly ceased as I opened my journal once inside the house. The sound of pen on paper echoed through the house as I wrote in an attempt to soothe myself. 
JOURNAL ENTRY #465
What are thorns without a rose?
What is a rose without thorns?
Both are intertwined. The thorns hold benefit for the rose, a symbol of protection and a threat to those who want to inflict it with harm. 
But what is the rose to the thorn? Nothing but a vessel for it to sit upon, scaring away those who may have good intentions. Intentions of plucking it as a gift to a loved one, even if that act would kill the rose.
But would it be killing? Or would it be freeing? To cut off the thorns from the stem before presenting it as a symbol of love. 
Is Luca the rose or the thorn?
It's unclear, but he must be one of them. And I, the other. Which means we are forever intertwined.
Until someone cuts... or plucks. 
**
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